Note from Sheila: I can barely post this without screaming obscenities at my monitor.
Note to Emily: It is your fault that I feel nauseous right now. Onward with the bad poetry by Jewel-bitch:
I have blonde hair
I pluck my eyebrows
I have my father’s nose,
my mother’s hands
I have crooked teeth
and green eyes
I play guitar
I used to get sick alot
I like the color of wine
I’ve cheated on boyfriends
I’ve owned fake ID
But my hair is still blonde
and my teeth are still crooked
and I probably won’t always like
the color of wine
And that’s just the FIRST stanza. The rest is equally as nauseating. “My hair is still blonde”. Whaddya want, bitch, a medal? Also, is it so ODD THAT YOU WOULD HAVE A FAKE ID??? Why does that make you special? Also “I have veins that bleed”. Well, Jesus, honey, I hope so. WE ALL DO.
And ooh – do you notice how she flips the “color of wine” thing on its ear? First she likes it … but then she knows she won’t ALWAYS like it.
Uh … what?
On a more serious note: her “poetry” makes me angry.
He screamed with no clear inflection.
Isn’t that more succinct?
Does it really say “alot”?
Jewel, honey, if you’re going to write horrific poetry, at least learn to spell.
I love: “I’ve owned fake ID”
Not: “I’ve owned A fake ID”, but “I’ve owned fake ID”
And THEN: “But my hair is still blonde.”
BUT my hair is still blonde???? How does the ID cause the hair to go blonde?!! Or is it that even THOUGH she has blonde hair she still has fake ID???!!! CRAP!
I’LL NEVER SLEEP TONIGHT!
*pulls own hair out by the roots.
I beg your pardon for shouting at the top of my lungs, but
DUDE, WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF, YOUR FEELINGS AND YOUR PERSONAL TASTE IN STANZAS SANS PUNCTUATION IS NOT FUCKING POETRY. IT IS ONLY YOU WRITING ABOUT YOURSELF, YOUR FEELINGS AND YOUR PERSONAL TASTE IN STANZAS SANS PUNCTUATION.
I’m going to take out a contract on whoever published this crap. RIGHT NOW.
I have freckles
I have grey eyes
But they are blind.
I’m not pretty
And my nose is goofy in profile
But I love the Wonder Twins
Form of …
I have terrible eyesight
I love to kiss
My room is a cave
The light hurts my terrible blind eyes
But I still have freckles
I still have grey eyes
And I’m a pretentious twat with dirty hands
“I am a pretentious twat with dirty hands….”
HA……HAHAHAHA…BW-W-W-AAAAA HAHA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
soo jewel is sexy