Sadly, I did not see it. I am extremely bummed, because it sounds like it was HILARIOUS.
Here is a fantastic compilation of “the public’s reaction” to it. You have to read all those posts. They are SUPREMELY funny.
I found this compilation via Big Stupid Tommy, who has this to say about Cruise on Oprah:
He’s a little too touchy-feely. Trying a little too hard to be the Tom Cruise Who Just Loves People. And when he got asked about one (or maybe more than one) of his kids being bi-racial, he gave an answer that had all the right words, politically speaking. But they came out in a tone of voice that was…well…not in line with the words that were coming out of his mouth.
I felt like it would have been appropriate for Oprah to have ended the interview right then.
“Right words, wrong tone of voice,” she would say. Then she’d snap her fingers. And then Steadman would emerge from offstage and kill Tom Cruise.
Some of my favorite snippets from those compiled:
Sit your rear on the couch and conduct the interview already. Quit jumping up every five seconds and striking your “touchdown” pose. He reminds me very much of all the things I didn’t like about someone else I once knew.
I’m so irritated now that I can’t remember what else I was going to say.
From An Open Letter to Tom Cruise:
Real people dont care about Scientology. Why? Because #1. Its Ridiculous. #2. We dont have millions of dollars to give to it- so it doesnt really care for us, either. Also, stop starting relationships right when you have big make-or-break movies coming out. We can see it a mile away. You can walk down that red carpet alone- we all know youre going home with a Vietnamese waiter named Steve. Dont worry Tom- no one cares.
The title of this post alone is enough: Tom Cruise “I’m Not Gay” Tour ’05.
we’ve been worried about tom because of this. apparently, he was driven over the edge and attacked a helpless oprah winfrey. it’s sad when celebrities attack. nobody wins. nobody.
From woofactor: – This made me laugh out loud:
What was with the bent-knee-praise-the-Lord-Jesus-fist-pump?? He did that like 5 times. And for the love of Apollo, could those pants get any tighter? I’m sorry, but if boyfriend is looking to reassert his heteroness, he needs to loosen up those trousers. But even more disturbing in my mind were the losers sitting in the audience eating up his mindless drivel. Really, people…have we fallen this far??? Spontaneous applause…standing ovations even…for the most trivial of comments. Tom says, ‘we are all part of the human race,’ and all of a sudden women are like passing out in the aisles, amazed by the earthshattering brilliance of the Gay Midget’s mind. Hello???
hahahaha Gay Midget … holy shit.
You guys, I don’t know what is going on. Tom Cruise has lost it. He acted like the biggest bag of nuts I’ve ever seen. I mean, for reelz, I’ve never EVER seen anyone profess their undying love for someone like that. I mean, I LOVE my boyfriend… but this was… well, it was creepy. It was so creepy and unreal and disgusting that I found myself watching with a look of disgust I usually reserve for anything Mary Kay/Villi related. I’d like to highlight a few choice moments from the show.
Point of disgust #1:
“I’m IN LOVE!!” Tom screams like a schoolgirl as HE JUMPS UP on Oprah’s yellow couch. He then procedes to kneel down 5-6, count them… FIVE TO SIX times to give a hell yes arm thrust. Time. After. Time. It never got old to him. This was the most awesome way he could show this AWESOME love he has for the AWESOME Katie Holmes.
I am so bummed I missed the moment.
More:
I AM SO HOT FOR WOMEN, I MIGHT JUST LEAP UPON YOU AND PUT MY PENIS IN YOUR VAGINA, OPRAH! HA HA HA HA HA
I need to just say this, before I continue. I actually like Tom Cruise. His movies, I mean. I don’t know about him as a person, because I don’t know him. And I am so there for War of the Worlds – but he really seems like he’s losing it.
To Tom Cruise: I saw you on Oprah yesterday, and you looked fabulous….for a 42 year old man high on E. Seriously what’s your problem. You were a complete jackass, and you freaked me-and most of the nation-out…Psst..Katie…put down the midget and slowly back away.
And then there’s this:
At the risk of sounding like a spoilsport, I would like to say that I’m a big romance fool like any other Juliet. I thought the first sofa jump was cute. The grins were goosebumpy. But he kept on grinning. Like freaky. And he kept on bouncing. Like an energizer bunny. And this was for at least half an hour.
This blogger compares Tom Cruise’s behavior to that of “a freaking caged babboon with his ass on fire.”
And here is a letter to Katie Holmes.
I am saying, look at him again. It doesnt look to me like its:
Wow. I am really happy. Ive found someone I love, and I am really finally happy.
Looks more like:
IM HAPPY! SEE????! SEE HOW HAPPY I AM???!!! DO YOU SEE??!! IM REALLY DAMN HAPPY!!!! Can I shake you now?
Im not saying hes over compensating for anything, but ..anyone who blows their perspective horn that loudly, is trying to tell us something. Or trying to tell himself something. Or trying to get us to buy land somewhere. Either way, whats with the crazy dance on the couch? Everyone stand back, hes gonna blooooooowwwww!!!!!!!!
Woah. Sounds like I missed a doozy.
I realized while watching the interview that I hadn’t been exposed to him out of character any longer than what it might take Letterman to interview him. The segment that I watched was a bit much.
His movies? Fine. I can’t think of a one that rubbed me the wrong way.
But Tom Cruise, the Public Persona, is a little much.
Someone MUST have a copy of this interview…i NEED to see it..sorry to raise my cyber-voice..but as a self-professed pop-culture whore…im deeply disturbed by having missed the media event of the year…if u have it…share share share!
Mitchell – I had TiVo-ed for the wife who was going to be out at the time, but unfortunely came back in time to watch it live… which means I had to watch it live too; truly cringe-worthy. I don’t think I could see it twice.
Right after the kneeling incident, I turned to my wife and said, “No wonder Alex thinks he’s gay but hasn’t come to terms with it”.
“Who’s Alex?…If it’s another blogger you read, I don’t want to know about it.”
JFH -
HAHAHAHAHAHA
OH! OH! OH!
I can’t stop the laugh……the LAUGHING!!!!
Sheila, I know you like him, I like him too as an actor, but honestly, and I’m not trying to be funny here, this guy is dangerous. He’s spreading propoganda that is lethal to people’s mental and phyiscal health. He’s telling people to NOT TAKE DRUGS!!!! Of any kind. So…no Cancer drugs, no Lukemia drugs, no AIDS drugs. Put them down, he tells us.
And I have to say, I blame noone but us. WE made him famous, and we continue to make him famous. If we support his career, we support his Cult. I’m not preaching (okay, maybe a little) I’m just saying we need to think about this. You know?
This man is a very sick, sad man.
But……..ENDlessly amusing. Those posts are genius. Absolute genius!!!!!!! “Bag of nuts”….brilliant.
Oh, totally – I thought what he said about Brooke Shields was boneheaded and irresponsible. He’s a fanatic. He has little sound-bites – even September 11 fits into his little scientology scheme.
It’s almost like he was empty enough and blank enough for Scientology to TOTALLY put their imprint on him. Fill him up with all that crazy stuff. Maybe someone with a stronger sense of self and individuality wouldn’t have been so susceptible.
I love the quote:
“He looks fabulous … for a 42 year old man high on E.”
I SO wish I had seen him leaping on the couch like a gibbering chimp
The guy is extraordinarily creepy. I’ve never really bought him as an actor, but the “real” Tom Cruise is just plain scary. I think extreme fame does tend to do really bad things to people, unless they have an extremely strong foundation of family and individual character.
A lot of the people in that sort of extreme fame situation are desperately searching for meaning, having discovered that fame and fortune don’t provide much of it. So the Scientology crowd sees an opportunity and moves in and effectively says, you need meaning, we’ve got meaning; we need money, you’ve got money – let’s trade!
At this point, I’m not at all sure there even is a real Tom Cruise…
And also MikeR, he was trying the priesthood when he was a teen. He got sucked in early by attempting to find out who he was and substitute his gayness for literally anything that he could hide behind.
He’s now found a cult.
Perfect.
JFH
BWAH HA HA HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Kind of related: I met a woman at a small dinner party a while back who had been in a religious cult for a couple of years when she was in her 20s. She lived on a commune, and everyone did everything together. That was the main thing: All group activities. She was really honest about it.
But then later – it was a small party of close friends – this same woman became uncomfortable with the way the conversation was going … I think we were talking about our childhoods, or our families … It was a small group, maybe 7 or 8 people there… and this woman, who had been invited by one of the people at the party, COULD NOT HANDLE the conversation – and KEPT trying to FORCE us to sing Christmas carols. (It was a Christmas party.)
And it occurred to me: Huh. This woman is completely uncomfortable with individual connections. If we’re all sitting around singing Kumbaya together, then she feels connected to us – but if we really talk, and really share … she gets itchy. She needed the whole thing to be a GROUP activity.
It made total sense that that type of personality would be drawn into a cult. Or maybe the cult made her that way??
Not sure – I just thought it was interesting and a little bit creepy.
Alex – I have to agree with you that there’s a strong scent of “thou dost protesteth too much” about Cruise’s various relationships with starlets. You have to wonder what these women are/were thinking, but I guess if Lisa Marie Presley could marry Michael Jackson, anything’s possible…
Okay MikeR, maybe you an answer this. None in cyber space can…is Michael Jackson a scientologist too?
Wondering.
Also- how come all scientologists are Gay Boys in the closet? How come? Huh?
Who Sheila. Whoa.
I mean, look at Cruise. Since he’s gotten deeper and deeper in this cult, his demeanor has done a 360. He is MORE intense, MORE in love, MORE happy than he’s ever been. And yet, he cannot “relate”. You know? Like Oprah asked him simply “So, how did you meet”? and he lughed and giggled like a girl. Like a little school girl. He cannot get in there. He can’t go there.
You know, they’ve erased most all the Thetans from him with the E Meter.
Oh….I’ve been researching, Missy. OH I HAVE!!!!
Alex – here’s a piece on the homophobic nature of scientology. It’s kind of gossipy – but a lot of it is right on the money.
L. Ron Hubbard apparently had a gay son – or at least a son who was “confused”. The son committed suicide. L. Ron Hubbard wrote that homosexuality was a physical illness. not a mental illness – but a physical illness. That could be cured. Hence: all of the expensive sweat-lodge weekend treatments they allegedly offer (although they deny it). But they claim that if you pay all this money and do these sweat lodge things, you will be “cured”. This all goes along with Cruise’s saying that Brooke Sheilds shouldn’;t have taken medication for postpartum. All illnesses can be “cured” through Scientology – and this includes homosexuality.
So Scientology is a perfect place for people like Cruise to hide.
It’s interesting, though: the gay rumors have been persistent about him for years. But it seems to be getting even LOUDER now … especially with this katie holmes thing. Like – no other movie actor starts up a new relationship and is greeted with such cynicism. Like US Weekly’s cover with the two of them on it said: IS THIS REAL?
The act is very much wearing thin.
But I think that Scientology does purport to be a good “cure” – that you can “cure” anything – if you just pay the money, and do the workshops, and buy the books. You can “heal” yourself.
Cruise might not have ANY space within himself to allow gayness. If that makes sense. Like – it is NOT an option for him to be “out”. He may be so far in the closet that he doesn’t even know he’s in the closet. And that’s why people are so skeptical, and why he turns people off when he pulls this “i’m so in love” stuff.
Turning up late.. as usual..
But.. On the Cruise appearance on Oprah what struck me of the clip I saw was just how bad his acting was.. I mean it was transparently false emotion.. which everyone has picked up on (and I think he’s since put out some kind of statement trying to explain his weirdness as “because Katie wasn’t there”… ???)
On what you’ve suggested, Sheila.. about the personality type hiding in the cult and the cult programming the personality.. I’d suggest that it’s six of one and half a dozen of the other.. the perosnality type is more likely to seek out the cult.. and the cult is more likely to try to imprint that personality on its members.
What I’m finding interesting at the minute, and it may just be me, is that no-one seems to have asked his last public companion Natalie Cruz(?) about their relationship.. I mean.. I may have missed that entire media fixation but I haven’t even seen a quote saying that she refused to discuss it..
Penelope.
I heard a rumor that he (of course) tried to get her into Scientology and she resisted. Katie seems much more malleable. She’s young, she’s a virgin … He can kind of control the whole thing with Katie – she’s nowhere near as big a star or a phenom as Penelope was – so Tom can lead her around more easily. Penelope was a huge star in her native country before she came here (and became a big star, even though no one can understand a fucking word she says). Maybe there was something in Penelope that couldn’t be molded so easily?
And no – there somehow wasn’t the media swarm over Penelope.
It’s like everyone is onto the joke but Cruise. And yeah, peteb: it is fascinating that it would be so “transparently false” – to what seems like everybody except the Oprah audience – and yet Cruise so needs us to buy it.
Okay. I am talking about this waaaaay too much.
Scientology feckin’ fascinates me.
Well, the Oprah audience will take it’s cue from Oprah.. enuff said.
I’d suspect that Katie may be thinking that there’s a long-term career to be had there…
And I hear what you’re saying about Penelope Cruz.. she had already made a name for herself.. but given the switch that’s happened.. and I seem to remember (admittedly briefly) a media fixation on the Cruise/Cruz couple.. where were the questions? Was that simply played off as one-movie hype? In which case was the Oprah appearance the same?
There are always mutterings about Cruise’s sexuality – but somehow this feels different. Not sure why. I think it has to do with HIM and how he’s ACTING now. (See one of Alex’s comments above). He did not act so INSANE with Penelope. Also, since they had done Vanilla Sky, there was a bit of plausibility to the relationship.
Listen to how obnoxious I’m being! I’m judging someone else’s relationship and I don’t know him!
But anyway, what was I saying?
If you think about it: the Cruise/Cruz thing broke up a while ago. Tom Cruise, in his pathology, CANNOT BE SINGLE. He cannot “date”. He has to have huge relationships that affirm his ideal of himself. He always has to be “in love”. So … for whatever reason … this thing with Katie Holmes feels way more fabricated. It’s “in the air”, that feeling, obviously. Hence: the swarm.
The first pictures of them kissing (I think at Cannes) just rang so false – how into the public display of affection he was. This is not a young man – he’s in his 40s. 40 year old men when they fall in love just plain don’t act like that.
“He did not act so INSANE with Penelope”
Because.. as you pointed out.. Penelope would have sussed it out..
But anyway.. Heh heh.
You’re right on the Cruise CANNOT be single theme.. it is pathological and that’s why Katie Holmes should run.. quickly!
Even the suggestion that they were ‘soulmates’ only has any kind of back-story to Cannes after all.. and already he’s jumping on Oprah’s sofa.
No-one believes it.. and, tellingly, none of the coverage has mentioned any comment from Holmes.
this dialogue is making me very very happy!!! Im in the north east kingdom of Vt with nary a television in sight..i need my pop-culture..thanks to you all!
I remember you saying, Mitchell – when we were out at David’s – that you thought the women in Tom’s life (Nicole, anyway) was totally in on the secret. Everything was a publicity stunt – and she signed on for it. I forget just how you put it but it was very convincing.
And I find it very telling that one day, we see Tom and Katie making out on the red carpet and then the next day, Katie is spotted shopping, and she’s got a wicked case of Impetigo on her lip. Like … uhm … STRESSED OUT, KATIE, MAYBE??
Not judging Tom Cruise =”Well, Chris, we don’t KNOW Fifty Cent….” HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
does anyone have a copy of tom cruise on oprah? I’d be more than happy to send money for it! Thanks,
-Jaime.
You can see clips from the debacle here.
I’ve never been a big Tom Cruise fan, because I just don’t think he’s a very good actor. He’s also wayyyyy too in-love WITH HIMSELF to love anyone else, in my opinion. Sure, he might use women for his pleasure for awhile, and then throw them away (how many has it been?), but I don’t think he’s capable of loving anyone but himself.
Is Tom Cruise gay? I’ve suspected that for many years and it does seem like he hides behind women to keep his true sexuality a secret. Remember Rock Hudson’s marriage…to a woman?
Advice for Tom: Get over yourself.