Creepy Dad Simpson

I found myself watching an E True Hollywood Story called: Joe, Ashlee, and Jessica Simpson. It must have been done before Jessica and Nick broke up – because it ended with no reference to it – and ended with Jessica and Nick continuously talking about how strong their marriage was, and how they tried not to listen to the tabloids.

But my main concern – the thing I was mainly struck by – was the overwhelming creepiness of that father.

I don’t know how to say it without sounding all Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse melodramatic – but I was listening to him talk in some interview he gave – and I felt like I was looking at the face of sheer evil.

Not because he seems evil. Or because he cackles with maniacal glee. Oh, no. He is a person of the lie. He is open, friendly, seemingly a good guy – but deep down? There is something WRONG in there. There is something MISSING.

Nothing wrong with trying to make a buck. But the way he talks about his daughters – the way he objectifies them – I’m not talking about sexually or anything – it’s just that he seems to look at them and see dollar signs. He is able to say with complete certainty who Jessica is, who Ashlee is – in terms of their marketing potential – He can “promote” them because he has no love for them. They are money-making machines. And again, that’s fine, good for them – but at what cost to that family? He can’t stop.

There was a section where he described “pitching” the Newlywed show to MTV. It was his idea, his brainchild. Now … I don’t know … maybe I’M nuts … but the fact that he wanted to capitalize on his daughter’s marriage is creepy. Where was Jessica’s say in all of this? She seems like a pretty down-to-earth girl, kind of silly, unselfconscious – I’m not saying that show wasn’t entertaining. It was. But … it just creeped me out – hearing Joe Simpson describe how he “pitched” Jessica as the star of a TV show to the executives. You’d have to hear it to know what I’m saying.

There’s a difference between a father being completely appreciative of his daughter’s sense of humor, her heart, her funniness – whatever – and seeing those good qualities and thinking: “How can I make a buck off of this?”

What will happen if those girls have off years?

The Newlywed show put such heat on Jessica and Nick’s marriage that it is now ended. How does Daddy Simpson live with that? I am sure he is trying to find yet another money-making angle of his now divorced daughter. Jessica in Divorce Counseling! Whatever. The fact that her life was torn apart by HIS IDEA – is immaterial to him.

Also – I have to quote my sister Jean – during Ashlee’s year of hell, my sister Jean said something like: “She should be walking through the halls of high school, talking on her cell phone, and doing her homework. She has no business being in the limelight.”

I will admit to liking that “La La” song – but again: as opposed to just letting his daughter develop maybe in her own way – No, that would not be fast enough for Daddy Joe, and it also might not be lucrative for HIM. He needed to control it. So whaddya know – he pitched a reality TV show again, this time surrounding Ashlee recording her first “album”. Now – I got no beef with reality TV. I enjoy a lot of it. I find it relaxing and fascinating to watch. But something about his insistence on airing his daughters’ dirty laundry – is gross. Dude – give them some privacy. They may want to be celebrities as well – it sounds fun to be famous!! But Ashlee was thrust onto this national stage – by that father – and whaddya know – she fell on her face so badly that her flub-ups will be referenced forever. The SNL debacle – being booed at the Orange Bowl … I don’t fault Ashlee for ANY of that. So what that she wants to be famous? Does that mean she SHOULD be? How ’bout – oh, I don’t know – SENDING HER TO COLLEGE?? He doesn’t care about any of that stuff. Her father wanted to make a buck off of Ashlee too – so he thrust her out onto this stage, and in no way was she ready for any of that. She paid no dues, did not know how to sing (live or otherwise) – it was unfair. It was unfair to do to her. You know, being a live singer actually takes some – you know – skill – and it also takes practice to get good at it. He just thought that he could “market” her to death and no one would notice that she had no talent. Then – when she failed miserably on SNL – he comes out and makes some creepy statement about “acid reflux”. He is just FAR TOO INVOLVED in every little BURP his daughters utter. BACK OFF, evil man.

I can’t help it: I am fascinated by what goes on behind closed doors in that family. WHO IS THIS MAN??

Also – he has a little earring in his left ear, and I just found that even more creepy.

Yup.

The face of evil. People of the lie. He’s one of ’em.

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16 Responses to Creepy Dad Simpson

  1. Emily says:

    I think I saw part of that a few weeks ago at my aunt’s house. I could hardly stand it. You’re right – that guy is creepy. And that Ashlee girl is one of the most vapid, empty-headed celebrities I can remember for a LONG time now.

  2. Lisa says:

    I think he is the ultimate egotist. (Hee, I typed “egotits”!) Jessica and Ashley aren’t people to him, they’re EXTENSIONS of him. There is no “Jessica”, there is only “Joe Simpson’s daughter”, and she is only useful to him if she furthers HIS agenda.

    The fact that he is a former minister — a supposed “man of God” — creeps me out even more. Can you imagine being his parishoner?

  3. red says:

    Emily – I just added a little paragraph about Ashlee in the post …

    I agree that there is no reason she’s famous – but I blame the dad for that as well. He looked at her and tried to figure out how to make a buck off of her as well – and look what happened – she fell flat on her face on a national stage. Many times.

    Just let her BE, Joe – does EVERYONE have to be famous in your family???

  4. red says:

    Lisa – right. He OWNS them. I think it woudl be great if one of them really did rebel. Now that’s a reality show I’d tune into week after week.

    I’m just trying to picture having a dad like that. My dad, of course, wants me to be successful – and he is appreciative of my good qualities – but he would never exploit them – or try to turn them into money in his own pocket.

    It’s just inconceivable to me.

  5. Emily says:

    I think what you wrote is a part of why Ashlee gets on my nerves. Like you said, it’s not her fault, but she just doesn’t appear to be naturally enjoying what she does. And she ISN’T prepared to be a star. She has no grooming (did you hear about the whole McDonalds “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?” debacle? Grow up, honey), little or no talent, and no stage presence. Yet there she is, making records and “live” appearances. If you’re going to thrust someone’s personal life into everyone’s faces, they should at least be INTERESTING, not some vacuous little teen-ager whose education was sold out by her greedy father in favor of an entertainment career. He’s really depriving them of a more meaningful adulthood by having them forgo better schooling. For goodness’ sake, wasn’t Jessica the one who thought buffalo wings were made from buffalos?

  6. Beth says:

    I didn’t see the show you’re talking about, but I remember reading something in People about how Nick finally broke up with Jessica because he wanted to have children and…her father didn’t think it was the right time, so she wouldn’t.

    How fucked up is that?

    He said in People that “If we weren’t famous we’d be happy living in the suburbs somewhere.”

    I feel very bad for him after hearing all this stuff about her family.

  7. Alex Nunez says:

    “Nothing wrong with trying to make a buck. But the way he talks about his daughters – the way he objectifies them – I’m not talking about sexually or anything – it’s just that he seems to look at them and see dollar signs.”

    Sheila, he does objectify them sexually…Jessica, at least. In the runup to the Dukes of Hazzard flick, there was a special on either MTV or VH1 on the making of her music video…the one where she basically molests the General Lee while wearing that pink bikini. The whole time she is writhing about on the car, Pops Simpson is RIGHT THERE, with that unnerving smile, talking about how great Jess looks. It was like watching a dirty old man watch a Cinemax movie.

    My wife, who was way down on Pops already, was beyond disgusted. She pretty much said that the transition from dad/manager to dad/pimp was complete right there.

    Calling gthat guy a creep is being nice…

  8. red says:

    Alex -Ew!!! So gross!

    I remember when there were these rumors that Jessica had a boob job – and Simpson made some comment about how “you can’t hold those suckers down” – something SO GROSS. Like: they’re so natural “you can’t hold those suckers down”.

    Like – you’re naaasty, Pastor Joe.

    I don’t care if she had a boob job. Good for her if she did. It was his … blatant appreciation for those “suckers” that was inappropriate.

    It makes me feel … ikky.

  9. red says:

    Emily –

    exactly – it’s like only dollar signs have meaning in that family. Exploit, exploit, exploir … Ashlee Simpson is a marketing creation – which wouldn’t be so creepy without all the OTHER stuff behind it. Plenty of people are “created” in studios – but … something about this just seems really wrong to me.

    Like her blow-up in McDonalds. I saw a clip of that online – it was soooo obnoxious!! She’s not cut out for this. She’s lost in that family. Totally lost. She could never have normal manageable goals – Joe would have no interest in her if she wanted to teach pre-school.

    The whole thing is feckin’ sick.

  10. Alex Nunez says:

    I’ll grant you that.

    I was also unaware of the “you can’t hold those suckers down” moment.

    What a complete degenerate.

    If I ever say anything remotely similar about my own daughter….ever….I want someone to do this to me.

    It would be appropriate.

  11. red says:

    Hey, where did my other comment go? Am I deleting my own comments now??

    Yeah, man – look, sorry to break the news to you, Joe, but those are HER boobs. They may sell records and make her a star – but sorry – they are HERS.

    EW.

  12. Janet says:

    Mark my words, in five years one or the both of them will be suing Joe for exploiting and hoarding money. Wouldn’t it be funny if in some freakish turn of events, Nick is the star then?

    Here through the BOBs…congrats on your nom!

  13. kk says:

    Not only the dad….the daughter, Jessica is so desperate for attention all the time.Her marriage to Nick was like abusiness deal and who on earth wants to advertise everything they do in their daily life after getting married huh!And now get a divorse pls…why asking the judge to step down ?Who the hell are you anyway? Why is she famous for her boobs, hair, dressing sense…give me abreak. Give me alot of money and i can show you how can i dress up with designer clothes. She ‘s full of garbage without any brains…..can’t even act other than showing the flesh. Singing..god knows!You call that acting…give me break!!

  14. Just1Beth says:

    Pastor Joe reminds me of Venus and Serena’s Dad. Did you know he convinced his wife to have them because he wanted to have children to “groom them” to be famous tennis players? They already had (much) older children, and Williams did research and realized there were not many people of color in tennis, so that is where it would be most lucrative. So, he learned about tennis, and started them young. Those poor girls never had a chance. eww.

  15. red says:

    Janet –

    I was nominated for something?

    I’m a loser. What’s BOB? Best of Blogs or something? What was I nominated for?

  16. DBW says:

    Note to Mr. O’Malley–I have some killer ideas for a reality show starring our Sheila. Call me. We are talking REAL money.