Related Through Humor: Clarence Darrow and FDR

These are related in topic. They are also related in the fact that they give me great joy.

1. “I never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with a lot of pleasure.”

— Clarence Darrow (it’s his birthday today, by the way)

2. This was one of FDR’s favorite anecdotes: Every day at a busy newsstand, the newsboy saw the same thing: A man, on his way to catch the trolley, would come to the stand, buy the paper, look quickly at the front page, throw the paper in the trashcan, and run on his way. Every single day the newsboy observed this behavior. This went on for months. Years, even. Finally, the newsboy’s curiosity got the better of him. The next morning, the same man, on his way to catch the trolley, came to the newsstand, bought the paper, looked at the front page, threw the newspaper in the trashcan, and started to dash off to the trolley, but this time the newsboy stopped him. “Excuse me, Mister – can I ask you a question?” Harried, impatient, the man said, “Sure, kid, what?” The newsboy asked, “Every day you come here, buy the paper, look at the front page, throw the paper out, and walk away. Why?” The man said, “I’m lookin’ for the obituaries, kid.” Even more confused the kid asked, “But the obituaries are at the back of the paper.” The man replied, “Kid, the son-of-a-bitch I’m lookin’ for will be on Page One.”

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3 Responses to Related Through Humor: Clarence Darrow and FDR

  1. Phil Melton says:

    Your Darrow quote reminded me of one of my favorites from Robert Bloch, best known as the author of Psycho:

    “I have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.”

  2. red says:

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  3. amelie says:

    i love them — and the new addition by phil melton! brilliant, and funny.

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