Diary Friday: “Do whatever you want to do. Just don’t have a rod up your ass and think you’re playing Shaw.”

In grad school, we had an intense Friday workshop which met for hours every week, and it was called the PD Unit: the Playwrights/Directors Unit. It was a requirement. It was, really, the whole point of going to grad school. In that workshop, projects were developed. Playwrights would bring in new work, actors would perform it, and directors would direct. Alongside of that, actors were looking for thesis projects as well, so actors would bring in existent work, Chekhov, Williams, whoever, and perform for the Unit, and see if the scene had legs enough, if it was right for you, whatever, to be your official thesis project. As you can imagine, managing this PD Unit was a BEAR of a task. It wasn’t a bunch of artists dicking around with no end in sight. We had to have end results. We had to get thesis projects approved. There were two PD Units, each run by a different teacher, and mine was run by one of my dearest teachers, Sam Schacht (he comes up here in the interview I did with Jen McCabe). Sam Schacht was (is) an incredible teacher, with an irreverent sense of humor but also an ability to make actors feel safe in his room. He loves actors. He loves good work. But make no mistake: the PD Unit was not a typical acting class, where actors work on scenes for weeks on end developing their process. No: the PD Unit was a fast, brash, commonsensical place, where we had to get through 8 or 9 projects a workshop – so there was very little time to stand on ceremony, or to be precious or careful. If someone brought something in saying, “I love this and I want this to be my thesis”, and then they went ahead and were awful in the presented scene, Sam would let them know. And there was no time to dawdle, no time to soothe fractured egos. Sam would wreck someone’s dreams, and then shout out, “NEXT” for the next project to go up in front. So a mood of hilarity was often the overwhelming energy of the PD Unit, something everyone dreaded – it took up a whole damn day – and it was a Friday – so that doubly sucked. The only way to get through it was to keep things light, take nothing personal, and also – when it came time to work – to really show your best work. You couldn’t blow off the work itself, you couldn’t laugh your way through the work. So much was riding on everything. So all of that: high stakes, too-long hours, 30 creative people in a room for hours on a FRIDAY – with Sam Schacht at the helm – added up to some of my funniest experiences in grad school. I took notes during the PD Unit, not because there would be a test later, but because often very interesting things were said. Sam was ALWAYS interesting. However, looking at those notes now, I see that what I mainly was doing was writing down comments I deemed hysterical, things I would want to remember later. I don’t even remember half of the jokes here, but the comments still make me laugh. Taken all together, these “notes” really give a feeling for what that dreaded PD Unit was like. In the middle of hilarity, would be a quiet moment of truth – Sam never skimped on that – he always was a teacher. Despite his official duties (“everyone in here must walk out with an approved thesis project”) – he still took the opportunity to TEACH when opportunity arose. But mainly, just to pass the time, I took note of funny things that people said, and now, years later, I am so glad I did. Much of this will be incomprehensible, but hopefully it gives an outsider a feel for what that workshop was like. By this point in grad school, too, we had been in school with each other for two years straight. We all knew each other really really well by that point. This was acting school, too, remember. The whole point of acting classes is to get personal, reveal yourself, and be vulnerable when attempting to do something. So you get to know people really well, even if you are not intimate friends with them. You know people’s issues, their hangups, their drawbacks, their strengths. All of that was present in that high-stakes yet hilarious PD Unit room. These people were FUNNY. Things often tend to get funny when the stakes are very high, as they were for all of us. Work is work, it is important, but the process itself can often descend into absurdity. These notebooks show that mix. The deep questions being asked, the demands being made, and then the complete LUNACY of spending 100% of your time with creative people who are all working their asses off. In the middle of all of this, Michael, an ex-boyfriend called me up out of the blue (hadn’t seen him or talked to him in three years – he lived in LA, I lived in NYC) and proposed marriage. I said yes to his proposal, which was a whole other comedy of errors, since he hadn’t expected me to say yes, and I took note in my notebook of that proposal, a real time-travel moment for me looking over the notebook this morning. God, remember when Michael proposed? That was at around this time? It was a huge bolt from a clear blue sky, and really threw a wrench into what I thought I was doing. For about four months, we talked about getting married – having not even SEEN one another in years – so I clearly was obsessing on that as well during the damn PD Unit, wondering what was going to happen. We’re still friends. People who have been reading me a long time are very familiar with Michael. He even provided a dispatch for me from LA during our great shared Mickey Rourke love-fest of 2008. But back then, when I was in grad school, we came real close to getting hitched, after dating each other for only 6 weeks, years before. People thought I was crazy to even consider it, but to quote Harry Met Sally, “I knew the way you know about a good melon.”

Sam’s words of wisdom to my fellow classmates reverberate to this day. God, he was great.

September, PD Unit

“A half-hour where you stink is no great shakes.” – Sam

Go back and look at Brando’s private moment in Last Tango in Paris

Sam is a born teacher. It is his calling.

Hello Out There – we just got a big ol’ green light – move forward with the project

Sam: “I wanted people to be ready to bring in work today—”
Barbara: “Oh, for cryin’ out loud.”

This room is so dreadful. The lighting. The air conditioning noise. That wavy thing above us. What the FUCK is that?

9/9 PD Unit

Cowboy Mouth – Chaos.

“That’s a Greek word.” – Sam

Alexander Haig: “I’m in charge here!”

“We could do a merchandising tie-in.” – Sam

“We have 2 striving artists yearning to be free.” – Sam

9/11 PD Unit

Arcadia – Tom Stoppard –
actors: Matt and Barbara

Sam: “The grapes don’t solve the problem.”

Sam: “Not everything is Hat Full of Rain.”

Barefoot in the Park – actors: Elena, Mike Z.

Sam: “It’s like trying to revive a 2nd rate dead horse.”

I need to re-read Brendan Behan’s The Hostage and Moonchildren by Michael Weller

Home Free – actors: Wade and Kara

“This play is like 2 panic attacks meeting each other.” – Sam
2 scared people trying to find comfort.

“Hoffman’s won Oscars playing morons and bums.” – Sam

Somehow I think that if actors are bored watching something … what is the good of doing this? Like Sam said: Recognize when you are bored. It’s not that you are being rude to your fellow students by being inattentive. Boredom is a sign that something is not working. It is a valid response.

“The Ski Lift Named Denial.” – Jen on doing Streetcar in Vermont

9/16 PD Unit

Buried Child – actors: Tom, Nina

“Anything can be good. If it’s good.” – Sam

To extract a scene: it needs to have its own internal arc. Make sense on its own

Am I Blue – by Beth Henley – actors: Mike Z., Kara, Cheryl
The writing of this play is lousy. Lifeless. You’d have to invent the subtext. With plays like Streetcar or Death of a Salesman – the subtext is IN the lines.

“If there’s any poetic dimension to this, it escapes me.” – Sam

“She’s not a waif physically. She’s a waif emotionally.” – Sam – on This Property is Condemned)

Breathless – movie – long scenes, jump cuts
The thing that gives it its stature is the legends. When you stand back, you see the universal. It is in the fragments that you have the uniqueness.

Playwright: “Then why these scenes in this specific order?”
Sam: “I have no idea.”

St. Joan – actors: Tom, Kelly

“Yeah, fuck you, Rich!” – Sam

“Tom, you fuck-head, listen to me!” – Sam

“Do whatever you want to do. Just don’t have a rod up your ass and think you’re playing Shaw.” – Sam

“Cast well, and then shut up.” – Sam, to the directors

“All the plans that you think you’ve made may be just delusions on your part.” – Sam

9/18 PD Unit
A Loss of Roses – by William Inge – actors: Barbara, Tom
Warren Beatty made his stage debut in this

“I know I’ve been manipulating you, but I think I’ve been helpful to you.” – Sam to Barbara
Barbara: “You have.”

Snow Angel – Elena, Mike Z.
It’s one thing to act material – it’s another thing to embody material.

“It looks like your soul is adrift in the wrong play.” – Sam to Mike Z.

Gertrude Down
Kevin: “What’s it about?”
Matt: “It’s about a door.”

“You talk a little bit like a French art critic.” – Sam to Rich

9/23 PD Unit

There are more things in heaven and earth,
Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Cloud Tectonics – by Jose Rivera

“This was a bore.” – Sam

“You look like you have parentheses around you at all times.” – Sam to Cheryl

Sam: “Blackout. Slow fade.”

Sam: “Renee Taylor, in reality, is larger than life.”

9/23
Michael G. on my answering machine yesterday:
“Will you marry me. Let’s get married, Sheila. Call me back with your answer.”
Las Vegas. New Year’s. Yes, Michael, let’s get this thing done.

9/30 PD Unit

Barbara, dressed in green, lying spreadeagled on the floor, trying to relax. Sam said, “You look like a human pool table, Barbara.”

10/9 PD Unit
We read German Lullaby – Sam said to Lesley afterwards: “Lesley, you should be very proud of yourself for what you have created.”

Sam discussed subtext – for him a play needs subtext – that “subterranean tide pulling us forward.”

Sam on PD issues: “The main issue is the bored actors.”

Sam to me and Jen: So how are you 2 Irish broads doing?
Me: We were just sitting here appreciating you.
Sam: Oh – really? (he got all excited – stretching his arms)
Me: Yeah. You’re not afraid of anything, are you?
Sam: No. (He went right there with me)
Me: I can tell. Have you worked really hard to get that?
Sam: Yes.

10/14 PD Unit

Sam to the directors: “Actors at their best are fantastic creatures. If you give them the correct stimuli – character, circumstance, objective – and then Get Out of the Way – they can work miracles.”

I want to work on Arthur Miller’s Some Kind of Love Story

10/16 PD Unit

Speed the Plow – out of context this scene is hard to follow. The relationship is not clear.

“Relaxation should not be a spectacle.” – Sam

10/22 PD Unit

Me to Wade: “I went to the Book Fair …”
Wade burst into laughter.
Wade: “I love you, Sheila.”
Me: “Oh, Wade. I love you too.”

Sam, at one point: “Who do I have to fuck to get out of here is what I want to know.”

Sam: “I’m just trying to keep my spirits up.”

Liz on SRO hotels: “You could be killing people in there and no one would care.”
Wade: “Where is this?”

Kara: “Are we still not allowed to be naked in school?”

Sam: “All this love of Jesus is just as obsessive as any other form of narcissism.”

Sam: “You know who originated this part? It was Geraldine Page.”
Kara: “I bet she sucked!”

10/23 PD Unit

Sam: “Fences is a masterpiece of structure.”

“Do you have the time?”
“What am I, fuckin’ Swiss?”

10/28 PD Unit

“Speaking of surly and disrespectful, where is Kara?” – Sam

Quote from Gingerbread Lady: “My apartment is on a sublet from Mary Todd Lincoln.”

Sam: “If you do a high-class piece that lays an egg, no one will think: ‘Boy, that’s a high-class broad.'”

Sam: “I wouldn’t care if you had them do it on pogo sticks.”

Sam to D.: “To whatever degree you can get it up, try to create some authentic misery.”

Sam: “Method acting the stereotype is eyeballing your partner, mumbling, breaking up your sentences in illogical ways. You can be 100% full of shit and be a Method actor.”

Kazan said to Geraldine Page when directing Sweet Bird of Youth – she was afraid of the audience, terrified – He told her that the more frightened she was as an actress, the more she should attack the audience. It’s one of her greatest performances.

Sam: “I studied with Strasberg for 21 years and I never felt that gave me the license to be an asshole.”
Mike Z.: “So where’d you get your license then?”

11/11 PD Unit

“The PD … boring or otherwise …” – Sam

“While she’s making all this $ on a soap opera, she can do her creepy parts off-Broadway.” – Sam

“Don’t try to pull yourself together. Fall apart.” – Sam to K.

“I feel like a two-bit whore. Next!” – Sam

11/18 PD Unit

After the Fall – just relax. Speak. Don’t do more than you feel. Be open.

11/25 PD Unit

“I don’t think it’s self-indulgent unless it’s self-indulgent.” – Sam on crying in stage

Loss. Immediate sensory responses?
WTC bombing.

“Tom?”
“Never mind.”

K. says that everything is a “double-edged sword”. Let’s count how many times he says “double-edged sword” in the next 3 hours.

“If she’s peeing loudly, that’s a beer-drinkin’ woman.” – Tom

Eileen: “I know that women are bad lays, too.”

“Are you a spy from Juilliard?” – Sam to Brenda

Sam: “The ‘chink in the armor’ is not a racial slur …”

Lesley began throwing paper airplanes at Christine. Everyone is falling apart.

Acting in film:
Think loud.
Talk low.

Sam: “Every scene is Fight or Fuck. Make a choice. Do you want to fight the person you’re in the scene with? Or do you want to fuck them? Fight or fuck. Choose.”

“You were doing some oddly inappropriate emotional work …” – Sam to Tom

“in the hallowed halls of ivy …” – Sam

12/2 PD Unit

“I’m totally confused from an organizational point of view.” – Sam

“Totally uninhibited. No apologies. Go.” – Sam

Liz: “Every woman in this room has gotten their period –”
Sam: “I don’t want that kind of talk here.”

12/4 PD Unit

“Do you want to speak, Richard, or are you just breathing?” – Sam

Brenda told Sam that she is a soprano. Sam said, “I don’t care what you call yourself, your high notes stink.”

“Life is short. Keep moving.” – Sam

Brenda: “Should I use my body?”
Sam: “If you don’t use it, I will.”

Sam on Method acting: “I’m flopping around honestly in my moments.”

Sam: “The punchline is ‘The cocksuckers are throwing paper clips’ – so you can work your way backwards from there.”

I am so sick at heart today for some reason. I hurt all over. My heart hurts. I want to get out of here

12/9 PD Unit

If you really go after your objective, that takes care of the pacing.

“If you 2 ever decide to start a theatre company … count me in.” – Sam to me and Jen

“Go out, say the line, and get the hell off.” – Sam

“They need you to go Ping when it comes up.” – Sam on playing the triangle in a huge orchestra

Have you read about Jack Nicholson on the Terms of Endearment set?

“If Alaska is germane to your piece …” – Leslie

12/11 PD Unit
“I hate it when I don’t get jokes.” – Elena

There’s something weird going on today.

Cosmology. Meryl Streep in House of Spirits

Sam: “Trust yourself. Don’t be conservative. Go out on a limb.”

Kara: “There’s something almost superior to people who are spiritually intact.”

Sam: “It’s always a mistake for an actor to fight his own instrument. It is like a violin saying, ‘I wish I was a piano.'”

“Get Strasberg out of your ass and think about somebody else for a second!” – Sam

“You can’t be like – ‘I’m not ready for the moment to end’ …” – Sam on being in Les Miz

12/16 PD Unit

“Is that that long-lost play by Chekhov?” – Sam

“I’m a little afraid of my boss.” – Barbara

Hamlet to the players: Do not saw the air.

PD Unit
I love how Sam interrupts scenes.

Sam: “So I saw that you had such ecstatic oneness with the part that you were barely in the room with us.”

Sam: “The scene lays a royal egg. And I’m thinking: This is not what Stanislavski had in mind.”

1/20/ PD Unit

“And if you’re a talented prick, who needs you?” – Sam

You aren’t only emotionally connected in naturalism

Lee Strasberg: “Your trump card is always the disaster that’s befalling you in the moment.”

January PD Unit
Sam, after watching a particularly bad series of scenes, “I feel like I’m having an out-of-body experience.”
Mike Z.: “You’re lucky.”

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15 Responses to Diary Friday: “Do whatever you want to do. Just don’t have a rod up your ass and think you’re playing Shaw.”

  1. ted says:

    Awwww. Makes me miss Sam.
    “Not everything is Hatful of Rain,” One of those simple, profound Samisms – good advice in the hallowed halls of Strasberg.
    “A Skilift Named Denial” – ha-ha-ha!
    “You talk like a French art critic” – ha-ha-ha!
    “Relaxation should not be a spectacle. ” Boy can I think of some people THAT would apply to!
    And the best one: “Are you a spy from Juilliard?” They are famous, those Juilliard spies.

    • sheila says:

      Ted – and the line about Shaw. I remember this vividly but I left the actress’ name out because I didn’t want to be mean. But she was pretty terrible, and yet thought she was amaaaaaaaaazing, and she had never really been challenged on her bad habits. She found no sanctuary with Sam. She did some scene from Shaw, and her ego was just so huge that you could tell – AS she was doing it – that she thought she was showing everyone up in the room. That was a major problem with her acting: she always had one eye on herself and her own awesomeness. It kept her from connecting, from being vulnerable. So he was trying to work with her on that, and she was resisting him (always a mistake with Sam. Look out: you think he’s a funny buffoon and then he’s gonna go Ninja on your ass if you’re difficult with him) – and she was insisting that her way was the best way, and that what she was working on had been successful, etc. etc. and you could feel Sam getting frustrated – and he finally exploded with the comment in the title of this post.

      One of my favorite comments in the entirety of my time in grad school.

  2. sheila says:

    hahaha I know, Sam was the best. Knew his shit but was never over-serious about it.

    I think the Juilliard spy had said something about wanting to do “exquisite vocal work” or whatever, and THAT was Sam’s response. He’s so hilarious!!

  3. sheila says:

    And God, yes: “Not everything is Hat Full of Rain.” Such a funny comment, so specific, but really accurate. So much of the problem with Method acting (or misunderstood Method acting) is that it tries to turn everything into Hat Full of Rain!

  4. sheila says:

    Also: “Hoffman’s won Oscars playing morons and bums.” hahahaha I love Sam.

  5. bethann says:

    From reading your post (and other non-Elvis entries) I gather you never took any classes with Lee Strausburg? Besides being overcome with Elvis, I just LOVE Michael Coreleone. I kmow Pacino studied under him and Strausburg even had a part in GF Part 2.

  6. sheila says:

    Bethann – well, I’ve been writing on this site for 10 years – only been writing about Elvis since last August. There’s a ton that’s out there.

    No, never took a class with Strasberg. I’m too young. But I was at the Actors Studio. I grew up knowing who the guy was, setting my sights early on where I wanted to be. So yes, I know about Pacino/Strasberg/GF. Basically, I know everything. I don’t know everything about every topic under the sun, but on this topic, I can be certain I know everything.

    I’ve studied the Method since I was 16 years old.

    • bethann says:

      I just re-read my post and I didn’t mean to come off as condesending. The only reason I figured you had never been in one of his classes is simply b/c he would have been quite old to teach you, not necessarily anything to do with your knowledge or ability. I find it facsinating – the whole acting/theater interest.The closest I ever came to acting was playing Virginia Wolfe in high school. But I have been enjoying your entries on your blog.

  7. sheila says:

    You didn’t seem condescending at all. It’s just that Elvis-related stuff is just a smidgeon of what I have written about over the years. The Actors Studio, and all of its tentacles, has been a major major topic for me ever since I started writing.

    What play were you in where you played Virginia?

    I played her too in a production in Chicago – I was an understudy and had to go on with a week’s notice. One of the most nervewracking and gratifying experiences in my life as an actress. And, coincidentally, it was directed by Ted – the other guy commenting on this thread!

    • bethann says:

      I am impressed with all of The Actors Studio info here in addition to all of the movie and book reviews. So much to take in at once.

      In high school we did several acts from “Who’s Affraid of Virginia Woolf?” in which I spent much of my time arguing and pretending to be a drunk woman who was yelled at George, her husband. My most memorable move on stage? I got to throw a drink in my co-stars face! That was the beginning and end to my desire to act. My talents lie elsewhere.

      • sheila says:

        Nothing better than having permission to throw a drink in someone’s face!!

        • sheila says:

          … although honesty compels me to say that we are talking about two different plays. I was in Edna O’Brien’s three-person version, all text taken from letters/diaries/books of Virginia, Vita S-W and Virginia’s husband Leonard. Yours is the Albee drunken romp!

  8. Kent says:

    All you need in life is one good teacher.

  9. Dionne Jones says:

    This just makes me so happy. It’s my “go to” for joy.

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