“Wherever there’s injustice, oppression, and suffering, America will show up six months late and bomb the country next to where it’s happening.”
— PJ O’Rourke
some of my favorite quotes from his books:
— A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
— Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.
— With Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn’t think possible in today’s world. They have created a land of make-believe that’s worse than regular life.
— In fact, safety has no place anywhere. Everything that’s fun in life is dangerous. Horse races, for instance, are very dangerous. But attempt to design a safe horse and the result is a cow (an appalling animal to watch at the trotters.) And everything that isn’t fun is dangerous too. It is impossible to be alive and safe.
— There are a lot of mysterious things about boats, such as why anyone would get on one voluntarily.
— To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.
— The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don’t know.
— Bachelors know all about parties. In fact, a good bachelor is a living, breathing party all by himself. At least that is what my girlfriend said when she found the gin bottles under the couch. I believe her exact words were, “You’re a disgusting, drunken mess.” And that’s a good description of a party, if it’s done right.
— Ecology is the science of everything. Nobody knows everything. Nobody even knows everything about any one thing. And most of us don’t know much. Say it’s ten-thirty on a Saturday night. Where are your teenage children? I didn’t ask where they said they were going. Where are they really? What are they doing? Who are they with? Have you met the other kids’ families? And what is tonight’s pot smoking, wine-cooler drinking, and sex in the backseats of cars going to mean in a hundred years? Now extend these questions to the entire solar system.
— Are we disheartened by the breakup of the family? Nobody who ever met my family is.
— It’s hard to come back from the Balkans and not sound like a Pete Seeger song.
— People who are wise, good, smart, skillful, or hardworking don’t need politics, they have jobs.
— Earnestness is just stupidity sent to college.