Diary Friday: “Is it too late to buy a donkey ball ticket?”

Here is an entry from my junior year in high school. I was in love with someone in a fiery unrequited way (“DW “). The first sentence of this journal entry makes me laugh out loud.

NOVEMBER 14

I am going to Donkey Ball tomorrow at 7:30. It’s a wicked fun thing where the classes compete by playing basketball on donkeys. I’ve never been but everyone’s making such a big deal about it. It’ll be fun. The band’ll be there. [I was in love with DW, band president – so naturally I suddenly became a huge band afficianado, as well as a donkey ball participant.] Now I didn’t know that when I bought tickets. This just makes it all the more great. I can’t wait!

If you can stand it, I’ve got a few more DW tidbits for you! [Sheila, relax. Your diary can “stand” your lovesick tidbits.] And I’m not sorry! [Who ya talkin’ to, Sheila?]

School is so fun now. Everything goes by so fast. Suddenly it’s 4th period French. He’s always in there before me. Today, though, he was right behind me. I always recognize his voice. Anyway, I came into the room and put my stuff on my desk. DW brushed past me to get to his desk. I hopped up on my desk and sat there swinging my feet. DW came by to throw something away and as he walked by, he glanced down at me and said, “I saw you at the game on Saturday, Sheila.” (in a joking accusing way). My heart started going 5 million beats a milli-second. [Wow. That’s so specific.] And I said, “Well, I saw you too!” That was the best I could come up with spur of the moment. I am a dumbass. Then as he walked by again, I started singing, “Duh- duh – duh – duh – deduh! Duh duh duh duh duh duh …” [WTF. I have no idea what that song is supposed to be.] Hearing that, he immediately stopped and looked at me. Okay, I suppose I did sing it cause I knew he would hear. Anyway, he started to his desk, singing his jazzy part. [Again with the jazzy?] I almost died. He’s so musical. [hahahahahaha] Really nice deep voice. I felt like throwing myself on him and saying, “You are such a good sax player!” Of course I didn’t. [Glad you didn’t. Also: y’know what, Sheila Teenager? You’re musical too. You have a terrific singing voice. Don’t make him out to be God. You’re pretty awesome yourself. Just thought you should know.]

Anyway, after class – DW walked out in front of me. God, is he tall – I love it – It’s getting easier and easier to just talk to him – it comes more natural. I have inklings sometimes about him, but they’re embarrassing to say. [And saying “I’m going to Donkey Ball tomorrow at 7:30” ISN’T embarrassing?] He is always looking over at me. Anyway, I said, “DW!” He stopped and sort of twisted his body to look back at me. [Notice the detail. I noticed EVERYTHING. And I remember EVERYTHING. Body language, how someone stands, turns, their glances, their slight grins – Especially with guys I am crazy about. Their body language is usually emblazoned on my brain like a newsreel. I can still see how the boy I loved when I was 11 tilted his head to the side when he was writing at his desk, etc. etc. A strange phenomenon. And it was in full-blown mania stage with this DW character.] What does he see when he looks at me? Does he see anything? [Er – I hope so. You do, after all, take up space, and are made of matter. It’s not like you’re a little ghostie and you call out his name – he turns around and there’s nothing there!] I trotted up to catch up to him and we walked along together.

[Please try to read my first comment to DW without guffawing.]

“Is it too late to buy a donkey ball ticket?”

[I am shaking with laughter.]

He said, “Nope!” Very confident voice – not chipper – but … he looked very – pleased, sort of. Happy. Because I was talking to him? Oh God, Sheila. SHUT UP. Anyway, I said, “Can I buy one at lunch?” “You sure can!” I love him! I love his voice! I love the way he walks, talks, smiles at me, holds his books.

Then I turned and flew lightly down the stairs to Math. [That’s an insane image.]

When the break bell rang, I ran to meet Mere so we could go to lunch together. I assaulted her with: “LET’S GO TO DONKEY BALL! AHHHH!” [Sheila, what the hell is up with your whole Donkey Ball obsession?] Poor Mere was depressed because of BB and I was so up up up! I saw her face, sobered up and said, “Okay. Sorry. I’m serious now.” I tried to keep a straight face, but a smile exploded through, which then got Mere laughing.

We went into the lunch room. There, sitting at one table, with a big donkey ball sign [I swear, if you say “donkey ball” one more time, I’m gonna kick your ass.] was DW! I had a heart attack. I attacked Mere, crying, “Oh, let’s get tickets! Let’s get tickets!” Mere nodded wearily. “Okay. Okay.” [hahahahaha “wearily” ] She leant me some money [Good Lord. She leant me money FOR DONKEY BALL TICKETS? That is above and beyond the call of friendship duty] and I casually strolled over. [Sheila, you couldn’t be casual if you tried.] DW was sitting – sort of languidly – his long legs jutted out, and I came up. He glanced up, saw me, and smiled — real smile – I love his smile – I mean, it’s like trying to describe how I feel when I’m acting. I can’t say it, or describe it. I just do it. I gave him the money for our tickets and he handed me the change, saying, “Thank you, ma’am! Tell all your friends!”

I can’t — I just can’t — I can’t tell you how I feel!! But I know how I feel, even though I can’t say it.

This entry was posted in Diary Friday. Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Diary Friday: “Is it too late to buy a donkey ball ticket?”

  1. Paul H says:

    Hmmm, I think that 

     “Duh- duh – duh – duh – deduh! Duh duh duh duh duh duh …” 

    is the theme to the Pink Panther. At least, given the context, it should be!

    • sheila says:

      hahahaha I love how people are guessing what the song is. My friend Ray says he thinks it might be “If I Only Had a Brain”.

      But I like the Pink Panther idea!

  2. I hear the Darth Vader theme in the duh duhs.

    Also, I never want to go anywhere and I totally want to go to Donkey Ball.

    • sheila says:

      // I never want to go anywhere and I totally want to go to Donkey Ball. //

      hahahahahaha Nothing like a bunch of teenagers riding donkeys inside a high school gym while dribbling basketballs. Could this even exist now? Would PETA protest? I can’t even believe it happened!

  3. Dan says:

    Please tell me next week’s Diary Friday will tell us how the actual Donkey Ball game went down.

  4. sheila says:

    I will see if I followed up!

  5. Dan says:

    I really hope you did. Even allowing for the different times in which we attended high school this seems almost entirely too bonkers to have actually happened. (I’m not doubting your story, mind you, just trying to get my head around it.) A bunch of teenagers riding a herd of donkeys around the gym? Something like that is supposed to happen at the climax of a 4th rate teen comedy from the 80s, not in real life 80s.

  6. sheila says:

    I know, right? Like … that is a recipe for disaster. I remember well that there were students in charge of racing and picking up donkey poop off the gym floor. For real?

  7. sheila says:

    I wonder if there are pictures of donkey ball in my yearbook. I’ll check and maybe scan one in. Because I too doubt that it actually happened!!

  8. Dan says:

    Where did they get the donkeys? Where – in Rhode Island, of all places – did they order up a baker’s dozen of donkeys to ride indoors while playing basketball. The mind reels.

    And pictures? Oh yes please.

  9. sheila says:

    it is definitely worth looking into. I mean, I grew up surrounded by farmland … plenty of donkeys. but still.

    How horrifying must it have been for those donkeys??

  10. sheila says:

    This CAN’T still exist, can it? I need to look into it.

  11. Dan says:

    I grew up in the N.E. boonies as well. Cows? Yes. Swamp Yankees? Yes. Donkeys? Not so much.

  12. bybee says:

    As recently as the spring of 2003, I went to a Donkey Ball game at the high school where I was teaching English. Intermission was even more hideous because of all the war fervor at the time. Someone came up with the brilliant idea that we should all shout in unison “BOMB IRAQ!” I was feeling the ughness.

  13. Laurie Ritt says:

    Helpful tip:

    Do NOT Google “Donkey Ball” at work.

    That is all.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.