The Sheila Variations

Oct. 18 - My One-Year Blog Anniversary

Okay, so this is weird.

I was just sitting here at my desk, and it floated through my mind: "Hmm. I started my blog in ... late October of last year, I think ... Must be coming up on an anniversary..."

I went to check my old blog - and lo and behold - TOMORROW is my one-year anniversary of being a Blog Goddess.

Hoo-yah!

Setting up my own blog has, I can say without exaggeration, changed my life.

In a bunch of ways which I'm not sure I want to divulge - but suffice it to say that:

Blogging has provided me with an outlet. A space to SHOUT. A space to blab. Whatever. I used to keep intensely detailed journals, which is all well and good. I still journal - but that is an inward pursuit. Journaling is about communicating with my own unconscious, not trying to communicate with anybody else. Blogging has helped me so much, in terms of formulating how I think about things - things I need to learn - issues I need to delve in more. Also - challenging myself to articulate my thoughts, my vague convictions about things, into words. Cold clear words. Awesome practice.

It also has kept me writing. I write every day. In a public way.

Writing every day in a journal is also great - but to write for an audience (even if it's only 30 people) is a different muscle altogether.

I have had a pretty bad last couple of years. From about 1999 on. I won't go into why. But it's not been a good time for me, and I've had a very hard time going on with life, at times. There was a good stretch in 2002 when ... I was beyond language. Anyone who's ever been seriously depressed will know the state of which I speak. I couldn't write in my journal, I couldn't write emails to friends ... I just had no words for how sad I was, how disappointed I was in things.

And then, one morning in October, 2002 - I suddenly DID what I had been musing about for over a year, since September 11, when I discovered Andrew Sullivan, Little Green Footballs, James Lileks, and a host of others - I sat down, got an account with Blog-spot, and created a Blog in the space of one morning.

I don't know why suddenly, on October 18, I decided to get into action. It was not on any To Do List. It was just a vague wish, a vague "I'd like to have one of those" ... And it took me 3 hours (maybe less) to make it into a reality.

Not to get too melodramatic here - I will try to use as plain language as possible -

Blogging has changed my life. The word-less stretch of 2002, when I could no longer communicate, even with myself - feels like it could never happen again. The muscle, the communicative muscle, has been FLEXED. And it feels like it is in for me for good. In this way, blogging has done wonders for my mood, my quality of life.

But that's not the only reason it has changed my life. For me, it may be the most important reason - but it's not the sole reason.

I also have discovered this enormous NOISY community - a community that I LOVE - a community that I cherish being a part of -

I didn't even know all you guys were out there!! But now I do!

And reading such people as:

Michele Catalano - hot, sassy, PISSED, hilarious

Dean Esmay - thought-provoking, has been very generous to me - is responsible for getting me off Blogspot

Asparagirl - her blog had a huge impact on me, and that's all I need to say

Mike Hendrix - what a MAN. Love him. Love the "Tough Chicks" essay - love it all.

Dr. Frank (who was the first blogger EVER to link to me - thanks, man!)

Emily Jones - what a ballsy awesome hilarious woman - I think her "fisks" are my favorite "fisks"

Broom of Anger - a window into Belfast and other worlds - I love her style - she's a recent discovery

Bill McCabe - what can I say - I check his blog every day, he checks mine every day - He is a great person.

Kimberly Swygert - I think of her site as one of the most dangerous and most important sites in the blog world - It's almost radioactive

Stephen Green - classic. Just classic.

Pejman - I mean, I love him for the "Thought of the Day" alone

Iranian Girl - Love her blog. Love her insights. You GO, girl.

Glenn Reynolds - Of course.

James Lileks Of course.

Steve Silver - My Hoboken MAN! His blog, at times, makes me laugh out loud. Great stuff.

Ben Kepple - Ben Kepple is a real idol to me.

Rachel Lucas - Rachel Lucas should be on Mount Rushmore or something.

Sgt. Hook - His site ROCKS. I never ever know what I will find there, and I am always glad I visited.

The Rossi Rant - Man, this chick has heart. That's why life can be so hard for her - I relate. She feels everything - she's a beautiful soul.

Tim Blair - I mean, come ON. The man is brilliant.

Barefoot Kitchen Witch - my old dear friend Jayne - my barefoot kitchen witch Jayne - I've always been a fan of her writing, since she wrote these terrifying Steven King-esque things in high school.

Baldilocks - my new discovery. This woman is amazing.

Patrick Prescott - Another daily read. He's got a wide array of interests - I never know what he's gonna say, or what he will focus on each day - His blog is a constant surprise.

Acidman This man should also be on Mount Rushmore.

Andrea Harris...One of my heroes. What can I say.

I know I am leaving people off - Please forgive ...

But anyway - finding this whole world of voices, chattering, babbling, arguing - was like opening up a genie's bottle. Woah.

It was good to join my voice to the Babel. Good to be there. To be a part of it.

The events of September 11 deeply impacted me, mobilized me, enraged me - as they did most of us. Being able to write it all out, and get into discussions with people - (as opposed to sitting weeping in a coffee shop writing in my journal - see the difference?) is awesome.

Keeping a blog is not all about my own self-improvement - but that is what I am present to at the moment.

Thanks to everybody - all my faithful readers. I love when you comment, I love when you get into discussions - I love that you come here, and thank you!

And thank you as well to all of the people I read. A daily dose of your words enriches my life and expands my brain.

This is a long-winded way of saying Happy Birthday To Me.

So long ... and thanks for the fish!

Posted by sheila