I have to point to a couple of posts - in regards to the Carlie Bruscia murder. A murder of a child is hard to get my head around - my brain refuses to deal with it, or contemplate it in any serious way - and the security camera footage Bruscia being led away is - I just have no words. It is horrible. Horrible. She is going to her death. She looks so docile. That's what strikes me at the core about that footage. She looks so freakin' DOCILE.
This reminds me of one of the first lessons of self-defense - taught to me by cops who came and did a seminar for us in grade-school about stranger-danger:
"People don't want to hurt you at Point A. They want to hurt you at Point B."
Meaning: put up a hell of a fight at Point A. Fight like hell to avoid being moved to a Point B situation. If you're gonna fight for your life, do not wait. Fight immediately. Do not let the perpetrator move you. Die at Point A, if you have to.
Years later, when I took a self-defense course as an adult, the very same lesson was taught - only it was put in blunter terms than when I was a kid - since this was a class taught by tough Chicago cops, and the people in the class were all adult women.
"Girls don't get raped and die at Point A. Girls get raped and die at Point B."
There is only so much you can control - but if you can have the presence of mind to fight like a tiger at Point A - it might save your life.
Carlie Bruscia did put up a fight, apparently, bless her. May she rest in peace. But that fight did not happen at Point A.
The footage is so chilling to me, for that reason. DAMMIT.
Michele has a kick-ass essay up right now, about parenting, driving her kids to school, the dangers facing kids today, and being accused of being an "over-protective" parent, who coddles her kids. Etc. She pulls no punches, and it is a great post.
And Key Monroe also weighs in. (Something's up with her permanent links - scroll down to the post entitled "Infuriating".) Don't miss this post.
Posted by sheilaI don't think andy "stranger danger" lessons my kids have had every put it so succintly as the "Point A Point B" lesson.
I'm going to drill that into their heads when I get home today. And I'll use Carlie Bruscia as an example of that.
Thanks.
Posted by: michele at February 10, 2004 11:00 AMI was 8 years old when I first heard that, Michele, and I have never ever forgotten it.
Posted by: red at February 10, 2004 11:05 AMSheil - Jason Forman....that poor child has been pivitol in how I am raising my kids. I love the point A and B references and they will hear about that tonight. The problem I find in teaching kids is that short of taking them to a morgue (which I would not), they have a hard time wrapping their heads around this information. The more concrete the better - Having had the Jason Forman experience in our little corner of the world tought me both about what I must teach my kids and about the randomness of it all. It sucks.
Posted by: Betsy at February 10, 2004 12:28 PMYes, Betsy - Momentarily I forgot about Jason Foreman. That was certainly a terrible lesson. And we were his same age at the time!
I bet the "point A point B' lecture came in the wake of that.
Terrible.
Posted by: red at February 10, 2004 12:30 PMThey stress this point very well Peace Corps Training programs all over the world. They say something along the lines of, "If your attacker seems intent on moving you to another location, fight like your life depends on it because it does."
Posted by: Nathan at February 10, 2004 12:36 PMVery good point Sheila.
I was doing some research for a bit I'm writing and came across this article:
Violence and Survival: Denial and the Ultimate Threat
It's aimed at mental health professionals, but it shot full of useful information on violent encounters and avoiding/preparing for them.
Red:
I started to respond to this, but the subject is complex so I think I'm going to do a whole post at my own site about it.
The short version is that your point about "fight back at point A" is very good tactics, and has lots of good application. I used to say "he (or she) who hesitates is dead" - it's kind of the same thing.
Posted by: CW at February 10, 2004 8:46 PMI have a tiny, beautiful, 10year old daughter. In addition to teaching her to say "no" and avoid stranger contact I was told to teach my daughter to do the following SPECIFIC things: 1) whip your arms around like a windmill as fast as you can, fall to the ground and kick. 2) throw anything in your hands (like school books, etc) as high as you can to attract attention. 3)Scream "NO, you're NOT my Dad/Mom" so if anyone nearby hears they'll know you're not playing and need help. 4)Grab onto large objects like street/sign posts or if you're on your bicycle DON'T LET GO, an abductor can't get a bicycle into a vehicle easily.
Also, I was told to PRACTICE screaming and fighting with her. I was told that no matter how often you tell a child these things they aren't effective unless you PRACTICE. God willing she will never need these skills, no child should, but if she ever does they could save her life.
My heart goes out to the Bruscia family.
This Point A & Point B message chills me to the core. It is the reason that I, and several other dedicated people, devoted so much time and effort to produce the film, Innocents Betrayed.
The video footage we've all seen shows Carlie so docile, being led to her death. Americans, people everywhere, must never be so docile in resisting evil. We must fight at Point A -- and that Point A is the point at which we are being *rendered powerless* to resist.
That is the message of Innocents Betrayed. E-mail me if you need more info. See the clip on-line. Never let anybody set you or your children up to be powerless and dependent solely upon others for protection.
Posted by: Richard Stevens at March 16, 2004 3:30 PM