February 11, 2004

Quote

"You mean to tell me they can find Saddam Hussein in a fucking hole, but you can’t tell me who shot Tupac?"

-- Chris Rock

Posted by sheila
Comments

Even better Chris Rock quote:

"Al Sharpton is a Reverend like Colonel Sanders is a war hero."

Posted by: Dave J at February 11, 2004 3:31 PM

Oh God, that is so funny. He's brilliant.

I especially liked his argument for allowing gays in the military:

"Let 'em fight! Let 'em fight! Cause I ain't fighting. I don't care if I see a Russian tank on Flatbush Avenue ... I ain't fighting."

Posted by: red at February 11, 2004 3:46 PM

"Who has it better than gays? Can't go to war, can't get married."

Don't listen to him in the car, I nearly lost control during his "n------ vs. black people" routine.

Posted by: Bill McCabe at February 11, 2004 4:27 PM

watch. osama gets "caught" right before the election. WATCH.

Posted by: the mighty jimbo at February 11, 2004 6:20 PM

Does anybody else remember when he used to do "Nat X" on Saturday Night Live? God, he was funny.

Posted by: Emily at February 11, 2004 6:45 PM

Was that the one with "The Man Cam"?

Posted by: Bill McCabe at February 11, 2004 6:49 PM

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'."

The guy does have a talent.

Posted by: MikeR at February 11, 2004 8:39 PM

"Bush lied to me, man. He said we got to move on Iraq because they're the most dangerous regime on earth.
If they're so dangerous, how come it only took two weeks to take over the whole fucking country?
You couldn't take over the Bronx in two weeks. Youd need a month to get the Grand Concourse, man."

Posted by: Stephen Silver at February 11, 2004 9:32 PM

Tupac lives!

Posted by: Independant George at February 12, 2004 1:26 AM

I also love his scorn for the term 'assassination' when used in conjuction with Biggie and Tupac. As I recall it goes something like this:

"Also - what's this with saying them two were assassinated? Listen - JFK was assassinated. Martin Luther King was assassinated. Them two niggas just got shot! I mean, I love Biggie, I love Tupac, but school will be open on their birthdays!"

Posted by: red at February 12, 2004 10:02 AM

As an utterly northeastern Jew living in the South, I"m particularly fond of this:

"My family's from the South, and people in the South LOOOOOOVE some pork. Even if it's fish: what kind of fish is that? Pork fish.

You know what kind of pork ONLY people in the South like? Pig feet. Yeah, the same damn pig feet be sitting in a jar on a shelf in the store since you was about fourteen years old, in that nasty brown liquid...what the hell is the liquid?! Pig piss?! And the thing is, people actually pick which pig feet they want: no, not that one, the other one. The one with the nail in it."

Posted by: Dave J at February 12, 2004 10:13 AM

When I was in Israel, my friend bought a whole bag of chicken feet, and ate them as he walked down the street.

Posted by: Stephen Silver at February 12, 2004 5:42 PM