For people who do not care about diets, then skip this.
I am on Day 5 of the 2-week "Fat Flush" plan . It is taking all of my strength to STICK WITH THE PLAN. It's not a diet, it is a 2-week detox plan.
It's damn strict - I cleared out my fridge of anything not associated with the "Plan" - (I am a weak woman ... if there is a Wheat Thin in a 5-mile radius, I will not be able to resist).
You eat a lot, actually, on the plan - but you up the water intake, you take vitamins - you take GLA supplements of evening primrose oil and L- carnitine - you drink unsweetened cranberry juice -
No carbs. Nothing processed. No sugar. No dairy. No spices of any kind. No alcohol. No pornography. (Just kidding).
I ACHE FOR A PIECE OF BREAD.
But what the hell. It's only 2 weeks.
And here's the main benefit:
By cutting out carbs, and upping the protein (it's the way a body-builder eats, while in training) - it seems to me that my metabolism has speeded way up. I can almost feel it working. It's like little lightning-bugs zipping around inside me. Or that could just be the shock of withdrawal from all carbohydrates of any kind.
The other benefit is that weight just dissolves off of you. I know it's just water-weight - but whatEVER. It's a good jumping-off place.
Going out for drinks tonight with co-workers. Which should be interesting.
"Yes, could I have a vodka and unsweetened cranberry? Only leave out the vodka..."
I know this kind of shit is HIGHLY uninteresting, but someone just walked around my office with a box of cookies, passing them out to all and sundry co-workers - and I felt my willpower shivering, teetering ...
Must. Stay. Strong.
Day 5.
Posted by sheilaNo alcohol? What do you do when you get thirsty?
Posted by: Emily at February 13, 2004 05:19 PMMore water. More water. More water.
Isn't that a line from Kubla Khan ... "water water everywhere, and not enough to drink..."
Posted by: red at February 13, 2004 05:20 PMI suppose I could justify a scotch, or vodka ... what is the lowest-carb alcohol? And the alcohol with the lowest sugar-content?
(I bet a man has NEVER ever said that sentence ... but it is a common topic amongst my female friends...)
Beer is out. Wine is way out.
Posted by: red at February 13, 2004 05:22 PMThis diet would kill me.
Posted by: Dan at February 13, 2004 05:29 PMMy problem isn't what I eat so much as lack of adequate exercise. I haven't really gained weight as I've gotten older - it's just that the ratio of muscle to flab keeps creeping slowly down. If I can ever get all the crap cleaned out of my back bedroom, I think I'm gonna buy a home gym to put back there. I already have a stationary apparatus for my bicycle - it's buried in the same room. Though by now, the tires have probably rotted away...
Posted by: MikeR at February 13, 2004 05:31 PMDan -
Actually, I already am unable to do the diet to the letter because you are not supposed to have any caffeine - but my morning cup of coffee is NON-negotiable.
I must have it. Life is not worth living without that cup of coffee. So - I'm already cheating.
Posted by: red at February 13, 2004 05:36 PMBut - here's the good news in my crazy world: I drink my coffee black, so there's no dairy.
Posted by: red at February 13, 2004 05:37 PMI've done Atkins for the last month and I've felt similar effects- I have more energy than before, though I've cut out coffee completely. Drinking is allowed, but only low-carb beer...
Posted by: Stephen Silver at February 13, 2004 05:47 PMSteve...have any plans for the non low-carb beer in your fridge? Because I'd be glad to take it off your hands.
Posted by: Bill McCabe at February 13, 2004 05:51 PMI was very proud: I went to the movies last night, and I drank about a gallon of water and had, as a snack, apple slices and celery sticks. Munched on very very very quietly in the darkness.
Like a lunatic.
Posted by: red at February 13, 2004 05:58 PMAnd Steve -
are you as much of a coffee addict as I am? I find it incomprehensible to think of living without coffee ... which shows you how addicted I am. It's only one cup in the morning, but I refuse to give it up.
How did you do it? Did you have any side effects?
Posted by: red at February 13, 2004 05:59 PMLow carb beer. I am deeply offended. No, make that profoundly offended. You might have possibly spoiled my entire weekend.
Posted by: Emily at February 13, 2004 06:11 PMWe'll have to make up for them by drinking twice as much beer.
Posted by: Bill McCabe at February 13, 2004 06:23 PMEmily + Words = LOL.
Sheil- I am doing South Beach.You aren't supposed to drink alcohol the first two weeks, but I went to Cape Cod with the swim team last weekend, and ended up drinking four glasses of wine. Then puking my guts out. My children learned a valuable lesson, let me tell you. And I had to eat humble pie, although sugar and carbs aren't on my diet....
Posted by: Beth at February 13, 2004 06:43 PMheh, heh, heh ...
Posted by: Jim at February 13, 2004 06:46 PMYou are a @#$%ing genius, McCabe. Care to make a contest of it?
Posted by: Emily at February 13, 2004 06:47 PMAbsolutely. First one to pass out or hurl, loses!
No low carb crap, let the Bass, Harp, Sam Adams and Guinness flow.
Posted by: Bill McCabe at February 13, 2004 07:18 PMI'm suddenly recalling the last words of Dylan Thomas.
Posted by: Emily at February 13, 2004 07:19 PMWhat's the matter, chicken?
Posted by: Bill McCabe at February 13, 2004 07:29 PMI know a great deal about diets like this.
I mean, a very great deal. Like, two years of studying them.
This is not a dangerous diet. But it will cause you to lose--hmm, how tall are you anyway?--maybe 5 pounds in less than a week. It's partly water, and partly glycogen from your muscles and liver. Very little of it is fat, I'm sorry to tell you. This does not mean it's a bullshit diet, because it can be useful possibly as a "cleanout" and also may reduce your appetite. It's not going to help you much long-term if you don't use it to transition into something relatively low-carb long-term.
Write me or give me a call if you want and I'll talk to you more about it. Trust me, Red, I could write a book on this shit, and I won't give you any hippy-dippy bullshit.
Posted by: Dean Esmay at February 13, 2004 07:57 PMHydrate or die - that is my motto.
But any plan that precludes scotch is RIGHT OUT.
BTW: coffee has no effect of any kind (black anyway) except for the caffeine.
Beer, on the other hand, is food.
Coffee, scotch, beer, water - that would be my diet.
Posted by: CW at February 13, 2004 09:44 PMBring it, McCabe. I'm not chicken, I'm just part Welsh, and part smart.
Posted by: Emily at February 13, 2004 10:55 PMNo coffee is intolerable. I am savage without my coffee - savage.
Clearly this diet and I would be a public safety issue.
Thankfully it'll never hapen.
Posted by: Dan at February 13, 2004 11:49 PMNo coffee is intolerable. I am savage without my coffee - savage.
Clearly this diet and I would be a public safety issue.
Thankfully it'll never hapen.
Posted by: Dan at February 13, 2004 11:49 PMOr happen.
Posted by: Dan at February 13, 2004 11:50 PMDon't worry, Emily. I'll look out for you after you drink too much.
Posted by: Bill McCabe at February 14, 2004 04:55 AMHey. McCabe. Jones. I'll drink you both under the table. Choose your poison, you wussies.
Posted by: Dean Esmay at February 14, 2004 11:01 AMYou have no idea who you're dealing with, Esmay. I'll mop the floor with your stumble-arse before I even cop a buzz.
Posted by: Emily at February 14, 2004 11:41 AMI've heard Emily can drink many a man under the table, but I've yet to see it.
Posted by: Bill McCabe at February 14, 2004 12:03 PMEmily drunk under the table? I have to see this!!!
Btw, how many carbs in Grand Marnier?
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/diet.htm
It's suddenly occured to me that being able to digest extortionate amounts of alcohol isn't really what one might consider a proud acheivement, i.e. "hey, Grandma, you're not going to believe how much whiskey I had over the weekend!"
Posted by: Emily at February 14, 2004 02:21 PMWell, it isn't something you would tell your grandmother. But achievements are given different weight in different circles.
Posted by: Bill McCabe at February 14, 2004 03:02 PMBill, Emily and Dean!
I am a grandmother and believe me this is the sort of things you tell a "Hip Grandma", especially me, nice- sexy young and beautiful & they call me...JAJA! Look out RED! Drink your coffee and call Dean, he KNOWS that diet stuff!
Bring on the Beer kids!
Posted by: Janelle at February 14, 2004 04:48 PMWell, just so everyone knows I'm not an idiot (and I know that there is some doubt on that score) this is not a "diet", technically. It's a detox. A "flush". It's not meant to be a weight loss tool, at all.
I love how Dean leapt right into the fray with his "I'll drink you under the table, you wussies". That made me laugh.
Seeing as it's Valentine's Day - I'm gonna go rent some porn now. Just to piss the Pure Restoration people off.
They'll get pissed off and I will get off. All's right with the world.
Posted by: red at February 14, 2004 04:52 PMRent it? You need broadband, lol.
Posted by: Bill McCabe at February 14, 2004 07:22 PMA plus of the Atkins diet- porn is still allowed. And you don't have to check it for carbs...
Posted by: Stephen Silver at February 15, 2004 09:34 PMThat's it. I'm coming to New York and kicking Emily's poetry-loving ass.
Now I just have to figure out how to afford it.
Posted by: Dean Esmay at February 16, 2004 11:17 AMBest of luck to you, Dean, considering I live in Los Angeles.
Posted by: Emily at February 16, 2004 11:37 AMRegardless, I shall meet you in New York City and hurt you. ;-)