The Sheila Variations

Dude, that guy looks like he's only a wife-beater away from trailer dwelling. And what's with the Hobbit hair?

Oh, no, to me he looks like a jocky soccer player. Or a beer-drinking rugby player.

I'm not wacky about the hair, I admit it. But I love the face. The meathead face.

Er ...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Does that work in this case? Or ... "there's no accounting for taste"...How 'bout that?

Perhaps I could shave his head in the night as he slumbered.

But I wouldn't change his mug.

Oh, and one last thing - this Hobbit-type is indicative of the fact that although I do find Orlando Bloom attractive, the sexiest person in the Ring Trilogy (for me) was Boromir. Scruffy semi-aloof tortured Boromir.

Boromir was hot.

He probably leaves crushed cans of Budweiser all around the trailer.

All right, you two. You suffer through that horrid quiz and see what prizes YOU all get.

And at least he CRUSHES the cans, so that beer can't really spill out onto my shag carpet.

I SO see this guy as a rugby player. Not a trailer-park guy.

Again: take the quiz and see what you get before you judge!

Shag carpet...do you guys have the astroturf lawn and the cable connection stolen from the neighboring trailer?

I went through the quiz, but my browser screwed up and crashed at the end. You want me to go through it again?

Boromir was sexy, wasn't he? Orlando Bloom's a little too "delicate" for my tastes. Plus, he's prettier than me. I hate that.

My browser crapped out, too - and it kept crapping out on the question where I had to list my race. I began to think it was a conspiracy - like if I had picked a minority race I would have been ushered right through.

Taking the quiz was a pain in the ass, to tell you the truth, and I wouldn't recommend going through it again - if your browser gave you trouble.

Also - it told me nothing I didn't already know.

I know what I like.

Emily -

Exactly. Elvin charm is all well and good - but gimme a guy with a sword and a shield who runs through the woods and is filled with emotional torment any day. hahaha

Sex appeal doesn't have much to do with looks anyhow.

At least, not for me.

Hence, my attraction to beer-can-crushing Hobbit-head over there.

Bill -

We have a couple pink plastic flamingoes too.

He desperately needs a name, Sheila.

That guy reminds me of the guys that went to my high school, who spent lunch hour revving up their muscled out cars and trucks (in a special section of the parking lot we called "power alley"), drinking mountain dew, and with profound oil stains on their hands. The scary thing, I dated that very type for 2 years after high school, and ended up marrying somebody on the opposite side of the spectrum. Weird, weird, weird.

Wow.

I just do not get oil-stained muscle car man from that picture. I get jock, of the soccer player variety.

Confession: He looks like a jock to me too, I just picked up on Emily's take for the sake of having a little fun.

So I went through the whole blinking-clicking thing, and when I got to the end, I was trapped in a "upgrade your flash player" loop, despite the fact that I already have the latest flash player. So I have no idea what the program says my type is. All I got was "Can you see this logo, if so your flash player is OK".

I thought that was a near perfect metaphor for my real-life experience with this sort of thing.

Red I think your guy is a seriously typical stereotype...

horrible hair and wearing the mask-of-stupidity-date-rape-is-fun look to boot.

On the other hand, I'll take the quiz tomorrow and the dear knows what the mirror will fling back at me.

Sheila, can we talk?! Oy! Ahem...

Sheila, can we talk?! Oy! Ahem...

Is anyone else besides CW having interminable Flash problems getting this thing to run?

CW - I love the stereotype. I am attracted to the stereotype. Any man who has ever been in my life has looked a bit like that stereotype.

I suppose it's chemistry. Pheromonal chemistry.

And to EVERYONE who wants to take the quiz:

Yes, the flash is a pain in the ass. My computer struggled with itself - as I tried to take the quiz. It seems to have a couple bugs ... very annoying

I can't ever make it past the first section of pictures without Flash freezing up. FWIW, I've sent an e-mail to Match.com's technical support to try to get them to fix it, since the glitches have gone and got me obsessed with this stupid thing and IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. Don't even try, Match.com, don't even try... :-P

Dave J-

HAHAHAHAHA I am so sorry.

I got far enough into the quiz each time before the thing crapped out that I was DETERMINED to finish the damn thing.

Maybe they built the bugs into the quiz, so that people will go out of their minds trying to take it.

I took the quiz, and though they worded it as nicely as possible, the basic message seems to be that my chances of finding even a mutual physical attraction are essentially non-existent. When you add in all the critical non-physical factors they ignored in the quiz, well, the phrase "better chance of being struck by lightning" comes readily to mind.

Thanks for depressing the hell out of me, red.
;-)

I can't comment on this guy. The Damage has been done.

I ran across the word 'Hobbit' and I started desperately clutching for my inhaler.

All I can say is that CAN'T be his hair. It doesn't look real at ALL!

He'd look more realistic if he had Dreadlocks, for fulk's sake.

It's not even a 'wet look' from the 80's.

It's more of an emotionally disturbed middle sibling that had to move back home, and refuses to cut it off.

I hope I'm not being too hard on your man, Red. I mean, he's almost got the 'Martin Riggs' look going, except that he didn't have enough $$$ for the full job at the salon, so he had to settle for some 'Lorenzo Llamas' look, and thus, no cool points.

....Yeesh. I'm off to go surf for some boobies...

:: queues up google image search...keyword "Lisa Nicole Carson" ::

I finaly got it to work, dammit....and now I'm not sure whether that's good or bad. ;-)

Mike R -

Uh ... you're welcome??

Eek.

Let's face it: the quiz sucks. But still - I like my Hobbit soccer man.

I love Boromir as an outstanding character of LOTR. Those who don’t like him don’t know him – just visit http://www.lord-of-the-rings.org/books/boromir.html .