Senseless

One of my childhood friends was murdered and then decapitated on Monday, February 16, 2004, in Pasadena.

I can’t get my mind around it. It is so senseless, so horrible. I’m so angry.

I hadn’t seen her in years. We knew each other from grade school, and church – and then she went to a girl’s Catholic high school, and she and I lost touch.

But my memories of her as a little girl are strong. We used to be unable to sit near one another in church because we would go into complete hysterics throughout the entire mass. Or, let me put it this way: We still sat with each other, despite the danger of laughing all the way through. We would sit there, shaking with hysterics over God knows what, tears of laughter pouring down our faces, our stomachs HURTING with suppressing the guffaws.

It was apparently a murder-suicide. Her boyfriend murdered her, cut off her fucking head, and then walked out onto the Interstate and was killed himself.

I just don’t understand it. I am angry. I am upset. It’s so unfair.

I remember the laughing face of my 9 year old friend.

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20 Responses to Senseless

  1. Ken Hall says:

    I’m terribly sorry. Critical Mass mentioned the incident in passing, but only that.

  2. red says:

    I’m an idiot – what’s Critical Mass?

  3. Mr. Lion says:

    I can certainly empathise, and I’m sorry to hear about your friend.

    What the hell is it with February and dead friends?

  4. Emily says:

    That’s terrible Sheila. I am so sorry.

  5. Ken Hall says:

    An idiot, never…I, however, am prone to being excessively cryptic.

    Critical Mass is an academic blog (http://www.erinoconnor.org). I teach business part-time at Cleveland State — and am thinking seriously about getting my doctorate — so I read an academic blog or two.

  6. Dave J says:

    I don’t have any idea what to say. Every response I think of sounds trite, and insufficient. Sometimes I really don’t know what to think of humanity, that people could do such awful things.

  7. Dan says:

    I’m sorry. Words fail.

  8. Eric says:

    I am truly and deeply sorry.

  9. Laura says:

    Oh God, Sheila how awful, I’m so sorry.

  10. toddk says:

    I’m so sorry.

  11. Bill McCabe says:

    Jesus, that is horrible. I’m so sorry, Sheila.

  12. Jim says:

    A big hug, feel the feelings, don’t look for a reason now, remember your friend and grieve.

  13. MikeR says:

    I’m sorry, Sheila.
    Wish I had words that could help…

  14. red says:

    Thanks, everyone.

    I feel a bit odd – I haven’t seen her since I was 10 or 11 … but still. To know that someone I once knew and loved had such a horrible end … It’s chilling.

    My prayers go out to her family, her friends. I can’t imagine the pain they must be going thru.

  15. j Swift says:

    I have been lucky that I have not suffered the loss of any of my close childhood friends. I have had two occasions where people I worked with were killed and have lost a few of my high school classmates. While I did not know these people particularly well, in the case of the co-workers, and did not know the people my classmates had become, we had shared some conversations, a laugh here and there, and disagreements.

    The thing that struck me most about their deaths was the sudden finality of their absence and, as you said Red, the senselessness of it. The hand of fate touched them and took them. I know I have lived through a few instances in my life where I could have just as easily been killed. The mystery of that is so stunning that it led me and leads me to think of our purpose for being.

    While I hear and read about people who are a waste of the air they breath I take comfort in the fact that I have not known anyone who I felt was not worthy of living their life.

    Keep your friend in your memory as someone who was worth knowing.

    My condolences

  16. red says:

    j swift –

    Thank you so much.

  17. Patrick says:

    Sorry to hear about this Sheila. So senseless.

  18. Jayne says:

    Sheila, how horrible. I am so very sorry….

  19. michele says:

    How awful. I’m so sorry.

  20. michelec says:

    Shiela:
    I have those similar memories at Christ the King…her mother actually forbid us sitting together…but, we would sneak up into the balcony and our silly laughs would ring out over the congregation…good thing we weren’t there at the same time….it was enough behind the puppet stage(!) As I grew, I stayed close to G. and had the honor of serving as her matron of honor when she married. No matter how much time or distance passed between us, there was no lapse when we reunited several times a year…sound familiar? And our mutual memories of coming of age in Kingston were universal to us all.
    My understanding of the monster that killed her was- there was no mutual relationship, rather a one sided fixation from a man with a history of violence and explosive uncontrollable rage. How he ever slipped through the hiring process as CalStateLA is beyond me.
    In memorium, I (and we collectively of those who knew her from 6 to 36 years of age) will deeply mourn the passing of one of the most beautiful people who have graced this earth. A woman of remarkable intelligence, wit, compassion and true gentleness of being. Her untimely death enrages me and I am fortunate that the son of a bitch who took her life is dead…so I don’t have to go to California, hunt him down and shower him the most painful death ever bestowed upon another human being. Dying like road kill infront of a semi-tractor was just too good. In my opinion,sick or not, he didn’t suffer enough.

    I will be sure to relate the condolences on your board to her family.
    PS I love you!

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