... for the umpteenth time.
"And stop calling me Shirley."
"I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."
"Stewardess? I speak jive."
Oh, and there are so so so much more.
Jen and I commented on the fact that we couldn't even LAUGH during the "jive-translation" scene, because it is too funny. We could only laugh once it was over.
Things I had forgotten:
-- Leslie Nielsen giving a random Pap smear in the middle of the airplane
-- How funny Lloyd Bridges' disintegration of personality is
-- the RIDICULOUS disco dancing scene in the bar "during the war" - Er - what war would that be? Jen and I were laughing so hard we were crying. I said at one point, "Look at the extras. It's a mixture of pirates and disco dancers."
-- the automatic pilot never fails to reduce me into a puddle of laughter
-- Leslie Nielsen is brilliant. How in the world did he not laugh. How????
-- the stewardess who knocks out the IV with her guitar. What struck me as so freakin' funny during THIS viewing was how HARD she sings that song. She is BELTING out those notes. Jen and I were howling.
-- the arguing announcers at the airport. Heh heh heh
-- the man in the turban who douses himself with gasoline rather than listen to his seatmate's long long LONG stories about the "war". What struck me was this: There he is, pouring gasoline over his body - Then: he lights a match. At that moment, the stewardess comes over, and a long conversation ensues, where she tries to convince him he has to take over as pilot. During that entire conversation, the turbaned-man sits, watching, holding up this lit match ... as it burns down to the end. He never turns to look at the match, or blow it out - He is frozen. Hilarious.
So much more.
This movie is sheer liquid joy.
"Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?..."
From Hitchens to Policy Review to "Airplane" - is there any better description of why this is the greatest site in world?
Posted by: Jeff at August 9, 2004 2:11 PM"Hey Larry, you seen the forklift?"
"Forklift? It's over there by the baggage-loader."
Those two ground controllers steering a 747 to nose its way through the terminal windows were the directors, the Zucker brothers, making their cameo.
---
"...that's when my drinking problem started."
---
DR. RUMACK: How much longer until we can land?
TED STRIKER: I can't tell.
RUMACK: You can tell me, I'm a doctor.
STRIKER: I mean, I don't know.
RUMACK: Can you take a guess?
STRIKER: Well, not for a couple more hours.
RUMACK: You can't even take a guess for a couple more hours?
DaveJ:
That last exchange absolutely kills me. It's perfect.
"You can't take a guess for a couple more hours?"
heh heh heh
Posted by: red at August 9, 2004 2:13 PMOh, and have you noticed that all the locations in "the War" are named after drinks? E.g., "we were stationed in Drambuie...we'll be raiding the enemy positions at Daquiri," etc.
Posted by: Dave J at August 9, 2004 2:17 PMStationed in Drambuie ... hahaha
We also were laughing at her pristine and gorgeous dress she wore while she was in the Peace Corps
So much humor.
Posted by: red at August 9, 2004 2:24 PMLeslie Nielsen=comedic genius. I loved not only 'Airplane' but 'The Naked Gun.'
Posted by: Dan at August 9, 2004 2:36 PM"...start from the beginning."
"Well, in the beginning the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they all got too big and fat, and so they died and turned into oil. And then the Arabs came and bought Mercedes-Benzes. And then Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di's clothes. It was horrible."
---
JIMMY: Hey, I know you! You're Kareem Abdul-Jabbar! You play for the Los Angeles Lakers!
MURDOCK: I don't know what you're talking about, kid. My name is Roger Murdock. I'm the co-pilot.
JIMMY: I think you're the greatest...but my dad says you're not all that hot, and that you don't even really try, except in the playoffs.
MURDOCK: THE HELL I DON'T!
I confess to having a slight prejudice against this movie, primarily because I have a coworker who, when I use the word "surely" in a sentence, responds, "Don't call me Shirley." This becomes annoying quickly. Darn it, Lesley Nielsen, you're responsible for this!
I also have the great misfortune of being responsible for sending out every Friday the, no joke, TPS report for our company. I was given this task before I had seen "Office Space," and I have had to deal with rebukes about not using the new cover sheet ever since.
Posted by: Bryan at August 9, 2004 2:57 PMAlso, Jen and I were snorting with laughter about the ridiculous depiction of the Peace Corps. hahaha
Posted by: red at August 9, 2004 2:57 PMI have found it to be nearly impossible to NOT say "Stop calling me Shirley" when someone uses the word "surely". I just ... I cannot hold it back.
Posted by: red at August 9, 2004 2:58 PMIf this gets through, the problem I reported Friday is fixed.
Oh, and "Airplane!" is so funny that I laugh when I see the name in print. Even that explanation point cracks me up.
See, now I'll have to rent the movie because I haven't seen it for so long and my son hasn't seen it yet in his life. Last week I rented "Young Frankenstein" for the same reason - a mention here that reminded me that his life had thus far been bereft of seeing it.
Smart kid - he recognized that Marty Feldman was truly excellent as Igor. He made me rewind several great Igor scenes.
OK, I'm going to hit submit now. Keep your fingers crossed...
Posted by: Ash at August 9, 2004 3:01 PMThat should have been "exclamation point". (What would an "explanation point" look like? Perhaps someone should design one...)
Posted by: Ash at August 9, 2004 3:03 PMAsh - I figured out what the problem was. You are fine, now. It was a glitch in MT Blacklist
Posted by: red at August 9, 2004 3:04 PMRobert Stack beating the crap out of the airport religious nuts:
"We'd like you to accept this flower on behalf of the Church of Religious Consciousness. AAAAaaaahh!!!"
"Read about Jehovah's Witness?"
"Jews for Jesus?"
"How about Buddhism?"
"Reverend Moon?"
"Scientologyeeeeeeeeeee??!!!!"
Posted by: Dave J at August 9, 2004 3:07 PMGreat comedy is one of the hardest things in the world to achieve (how else could someone as truly brilliant as Mel Brooks have made un-funny movies?). But when it is really great, it never gets old. Airplane is definitely one of those...
Posted by: MikeR at August 9, 2004 3:45 PMThose Hare Krishnas crack me UP
Posted by: red at August 9, 2004 3:47 PMI try to work "Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes" into conversation every chance I get.
I need a life...
Has anybody listened to the commentary track on the DVD? Good stuff - not laugh-out-loud funny, but there are some good insights.
Posted by: Mr. Z at August 9, 2004 4:06 PM"Nervous?"
"A little"
"First time?"
"No, I"ve been nervous lots of times."
One really funny part is the kid wooing the young girl, and how he's a doctor or something, and she's a teacher, and he's offering her tea. Just so bizarre it's hilarious.
Posted by: Steve at August 9, 2004 5:17 PMSteve:
"Cream or sugar?"
"No, thank you, I take it black. Like my man."
The nun singing the Acoustic Guitar version of "Respect" nearly killed me. It's not necessarily the joke that gets you at first, so much as it's the second or third time you hear it after you've seen the film.
Also...'She's beginning to shake!' 'She's beginning to shimmy!'
Posted by: Wutzizname at August 9, 2004 6:41 PMOh, and have you noticed that all the locations in "the War" are named after drinks? E.g., "we were stationed in Drambuie...we'll be raiding the enemy positions at Daquiri," etc.
Even Macho Grande? "No, I'll never get over Macho Grande..."
Posted by: Patrick Chester at August 9, 2004 8:35 PMPatrick, I'm fairly sure Macho Grande was in Airplane 2, which was OK, but nowhere near as good as the first one.
Posted by: Dave J at August 9, 2004 8:44 PM"Well, I'll give him another 20 minutes, but that's it."
Posted by: dorkafork at August 10, 2004 9:41 AMPure. Comedic. Genius. There is nothing that comes close.
Wait...just the other day, it occurred to me that "Top Secret" may - MAY - be on a par with "Airplane!" I'll have to watch both of them about three dozen more times to decide.
And Red, the Pap smear -- priceless -- the look on Nielsen's face when he is called away is perfect.
The one sour note for me in the movie -- the ONLY sour note -- is, believe it or not, that damned Otto The Autopilot. Wait, one other -- the "Air Israel" joke is too lame for inclusion in this masterpiece.
"Chump don't want da help, chump don't get da help."
Oh. So many cherished memories. If there is a movie heaven, this film should be playing 24/7.
Thanks, Red, for giving us all a chance to air our favorite parts.
And one more thing: I just want to say good luck - we're all counting on you.
Posted by: david at August 10, 2004 12:05 PM"chump don't want da help"
HAHAHA Oh God. Sheer joy.
Oh and speaking of Top Secret: I saw that movie in the theatres, in high school, on my first date ever. Therefore, I have no memory of it. I should see it again, yes?
Posted by: red at August 10, 2004 12:12 PMVal Kilmer as teen pop heartthrob Nick Rivers?! I've already told you should see Top Secret again, but it bears repeating. Again. Repeatedely. And so should I; it's definitely been too long.
---
"When Kramer hears about this, the shit's really gonna' hit the fan."
---
"Loneliness, that's the bottom line. I was never happy as a child...Christmas, Ted, what does that mean to you? It was a living hell. Do you know what it's like falling in the mud and getting kicked, in the head, with an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does, that never happens. Sorry Ted, that's a dumb question."
From Top Secret:
"But things change...People change...Hairstyles change."
Ok, I motion that we go for a session of 'Name that classic comedy parody movie quote'. There are far too many going around to not have a session.
And referring to an earlier comment in this section. Those of you who simply cannot stop giggling about 'Airplane' Should really look at 'Kentucky Fried Movie'. It's the first one they did after 'Airplane!' and it included simply the funniest parody of 'Enter The Dragon' you'll ever see.
Posted by: Wutzizname at August 10, 2004 4:55 PMWe were on vacation when this movie came out and my mom hated it -- so she said. As we were leaving the theatre we were passing streams of people coming to the next showing. They were of course asking those leaving what they'd thought of it. Here's my mom, "Oh, it's horrible, it's the worst movie I have ever seen, don't go see it" and she starts explaining some of the things in it that illustrate why she thought it was so bad. Only as she's describing it, she starts cracking up. She get to the point where tears are streaming down her face, and she can't even talk anymore she's laughing so hard. A bit of a delayed reaction, I reckon, but I'll never forget the change in her face as she was telling people how she hated it to the amazed giggles that started coming out of her. She loved it. One of my favorite memories of my mom.
Posted by: Carrie at August 10, 2004 5:13 PMExcuse me, stewardess? I speak jive.
Posted by: doug at August 10, 2004 8:44 PMRed: GO - NOW - to rent or purchase "Top Secret!" You will not be disappointed.
Heh..."Skeet Surfing"
Heh...the difference between 110 and 220 electrical outlets.
Heh...and so on.
Posted by: david at August 10, 2004 8:52 PMYes, see Top Secret!
German General:
(talking to someone on the phone) Well, let me know if there is any change in his condition. (then to the people in the room) He's dead.
Wutzizname:
"Twy again. This is not a chawade." ;-)
Posted by: Dave J at August 10, 2004 9:20 PMLOL!!
Good one!!
"Dis time...wif feeeewing."
Posted by: Wutzizname at August 11, 2004 10:05 PM