November 3, 2004

Phew!

Just so you know - the main headline on my Yahoo Home Page right now is:

"Simpson, Lachey report their marriage is happy."

Thank God. Thank GOD. I have been so worried.

Must be a slow news day. Yeah, that's it. Nothin' else going on today.

Posted by sheila
Comments

who and who?

the only "Simpsons" that even make an impression on my grey matter have yellow skin and four digits.

And Lahey? Is that Ken Lay's new alias? Or is it that guy who writes those scary apocalyptic books?

I'm trying to figure out the possible permutations here: Lisa is too young to marry, and Bart is too young, and male (which at least rules him out from marrying the Left Behind guy), and Abe's probably too bitter, and Marge's sisters aren't Simpsons, they're Bouviers....

did Marge and Homer divorce? Oh my gosh! And she's got a new man, now. And he's either Ken-Lay-in-hiding or he's a scary evangelical author!


wow, that beats the results of the presidential election all hollow.

Posted by: ricki at November 3, 2004 1:34 PM

Oops. I left out a very crucial "c" in the second name. "Lachey."

Sadly, I know all about these people.

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey.

Posted by: red at November 3, 2004 1:37 PM

Has she figured out what species tuna fish comes from yet? It's tricky, I know.

Posted by: Linus at November 3, 2004 1:49 PM

What about 'Cagney and Lacey?' I thought that went off the air years ago.

Posted by: Dan at November 3, 2004 1:51 PM

I'm glad you directed us to this, Sheila. I was really starting to worry there for a while. The wonder has haunted me for weeks. Weeks.

Posted by: Emily at November 3, 2004 2:15 PM

Emily -

I know. Really, I have been able to think of little else. Now we finally have light from the caves.

Posted by: red at November 3, 2004 2:21 PM

They are in utter denial. Anytime someone announces something of this sort it means their marriage is just about down the crapper. Last flailing spasms.

Posted by: Steve at November 3, 2004 3:45 PM

I've been on the edge of my seat, wondering what would happen with this. Now that it looks like things are all right, I'll just tear up this note and put away my gun.

Posted by: Bill McCabe at November 3, 2004 3:53 PM

I personally am far more concerned about Jessica's sister Ashlee's public meltdown.

By "concerned", I mean: "ghoulishly gleeful"

Posted by: red at November 3, 2004 3:54 PM

This just in: I'm still full from lunch. I'll be issuing hourly updates until the situation changes.

Posted by: Mark at November 3, 2004 4:51 PM

Mark:

BWAHAHA

Now ... did you eat Chicken of the Sea for lunch? Or was that tuna?

Posted by: red at November 3, 2004 4:56 PM

Probably buffalo wings. Made from buffalos.

Posted by: Emily at November 3, 2004 6:21 PM

It's so sad that buffalo wings are so popular, seeing as they are made from slaughtering an endangered species. So sad.

Posted by: red at November 3, 2004 7:12 PM

Damn. I had fully intended to come back here and post before I had dinner, thus making the gag even more hilarious. It completely slipped my mind.

Posted by: Mark at November 4, 2004 10:42 AM