Must be the jet-lag

Came home last night. I bought a copy of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I saw it 5 times in the theatre, so that gives you some idea of my response to it. I basically know the movie by heart. So I saw a copy of it at my video store on sale, bought it, and came home to watch.

Curled up in my chair, I was feeling very odd, very … woozy … but not sleepy. And at the end of the movie, when the two of them are basically trying to re-enact their first meeting, on the beach in Montauk, their first conversation … and yet they’re commenting on their own behavior at the same time … They are re-living a memory together, a precious memory. Anyway, in the middle of their little re-enactment, a look of incredible sadness comes over Kate Winslet’s beautiful face, and she breaks out of the re-enactment, and says to him, “It’s almost over, Joel.” Meaning: they are drawing near to the end of the memory. They can’t hold onto it anymore. It moved by quickly … and now it will be gone … in a flash.

I’ve seen the scene 5 times.

It didn’t matter. I burst into mushy sloppy girlie tears. I literally *burst* out crying. Couldn’t watch the rest of the movie because of it. I then proceeded to stagger around my apartment, washing face, brushing teeth, tears rolling down my face in a non-stop flood.

I have no idea what I was crying about. And I didn’t feel all that sad or anything. It was just a crack in the veneer, and out streamed tears. For only about 10 minutes, and then I went to bed. And fell asleep almost instantly.

Must be the jet-lag. Coming back has been a bitch.

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26 Responses to Must be the jet-lag

  1. Emily says:

    I’m glad to hear you made it home safe. Don’t despair, Red. You’ll settle back in quick and have a lifetime of great memories. Those of us in the US who love ya are glad to have you back. Welcome home.

  2. red says:

    Holding up cookie, squealing with glee. :)

    Thanks, Emily.

  3. I watched that movie on the plane last week- so brilliant.

  4. red says:

    It’s so so good. And I’ve found it gets better with each viewing. The first viewing you spend most of it a bit baffled – trying to figure out where in time they are, blah blah … and then, after repeated viewings, it all starts to make sense, you see the underlying pattern …

    And Jim Carrey is wonderful. The most honest I have ever seen him.

  5. Allison says:

    sheila,
    i felt the same inexplicable need to cry on monday…our first day back. i am kind of in mourning for ireland…..it’s just not the same here. i want the smiling construction workers (all four million of them) and the rolling green and the endless kindness of total strangers. surprisingly, i felt at home there….when will new york feel like home again?

    me.

  6. peteb says:

    Ireland isn’t disappearing off anywhere, you know.

    and I’m ignoring the 4 million construction workers comment ;)

  7. Allison says:

    i know, i know. just being sentimental. by the way the four million construction workers comment referred to the fact that it seems like the entire country is under construction….i’ve never seen so many roads being worked on or so much construction work underway…..sheila and i found this to be a constant source of amusement. we’d be driving along and another sign would say “serious road work ahead” and we’d laugh and say “well, that’s a shocker.”

  8. Allison says:

    oh, and i didn’t mean i WANT them…yikes, i didn’t realize how that sounded. they were just a part of the experience that i miss.

  9. red says:

    hahahaha

    “I want to have 4 million construction workers”. heh heh heh heh

    I truly was crying because of the sad look of loss on Kate Winslet’s face. But I did feel a bit ridiculous: “Ehm, Sheila, you’ve seen this movie a gazillion times … you knew it was coming … what’s UP, woman??”

  10. red says:

    peteb:

    I’ll be back in your ‘hood before ya know it. :)

  11. peteb says:

    A little too much protesting going on there, Allison?

    and, while the whole road network may seem to be under construction, there’s only actually 50 construction workers on the job.. ermm.. working on that construction.

  12. peteb says:

    *running around with a cookie etc etc* :)

  13. Allison says:

    oh, well i can handle 50….4 million would be a tad overwhelming.

  14. red says:

    “Running around with a cookie” is quickly becoming shorthand. I love it.

  15. beth says:

    if i may don my amateur psychologist cap for a moment…it’s totally understandable to me that you would cry at this viewing, and not previous ones, of that particular scene because it reminded you this time of how you’ve left ireland and it’s over. it was an experience, and now it’s a memory, and that can be a loss. just my perspective on it, anyway.

    also the jet lag.

  16. Carrie says:

    Tell the truth, Sheila, you’ll cry at the drop of a hat. Some little boy shows his shock and delight at seeing his daddy come home unexpectedly from Iraq and off you go! ;-)

  17. dad says:

    Dearest: welcome back. Here you’re viewing a movie dozens of times, and I’ve never heard of it. I should get a life before it’s too late. I never fretted that I do not have a good memory, or that I can’t recall with precision past moments. Others remind me of the details. I look forward to the new moments more than the memories of old. Glad you’re back, and hope to celebrate your birthday with you soon. love, dad

  18. red says:

    Carrie:

    I cry at movies. And TV commercials. And the little crying boy clinging to his father home from Iraq … gimme a break! I cry at that!! And certain melancholy songs. Yes. You have me pegged. (In the same way when you laughed in my face when I informed you that I was “serious and shy” – hahahaha!)

  19. Carrie says:

    Yes, you are the most serious and shy woman I have ever met. In my life. NOT. (Is that still done? Probably as often as being ferklempt -snicker). What can I say, I am a sucker for tearjerkers too. Remember that Lifesavers commercial? ‘Do it again, Daddy’. Gets me everytime. Pass the kleenex.

  20. red says:

    dad:

    “I look forward to new moments more than the memories of the old”. That’s why I love you and you’re a great dad.

    Tears again.

    I gotta get some sleep.

  21. DeAnna says:

    God! I have to comment on so many things in this post and in the comments.
    Ok, I haven’t seen the movie and I want to but I’m already so freaking sad, I’m afraid that if I watch more sad stuff I’ll break apart into a million pieces.
    I DO cry at the drop of a hat though. I don’t listen to country but somehow, one day, I ran across that song by Tim McGraw called Don’t Take the Girl. This is such a cheesy song but I nearly had to pull over on the side of the road by the end of it, I was crying so hard. WTF?

    Funny story about that “Do it again Daddy” commercial. You’re talking about the car wash one, right?
    Well, I don’t have kids and don’t expect to ever but I do have dogs and one day I had the dogs in the car with me and needed to get gas. I also decided I needed a car wash and thought, hey! I have the dogs with me. This could be a special moment where they gaze out of the window in amazement as the jets spray soap and water all over the car as if it were magic.
    Well, they weren’t so much amazed as they were terrified. Both of them started shaking and both wanted into my lap. It was like they wanted to crawl into my skin until the horror was over.
    Zoe started whining and crying and peed a little in the backseat. It was awful.
    So much for our touching moment.
    Shit! I just realized I should be posting this on my own blog! LOL

  22. mitch says:

    “May you be three days in Hoboken before the Devil knows you’re in Jersey…”

    Or something like that.

    Welcome back!

  23. red says:

    DeAnna:

    “This could be a special moment where they gaze out of the window in
    amazement as the jets spray soap and water all over the car as if it
    were magic.”

    This made me laugh out loud. Especially in light of what ended up happening. Not to laugh at your dog’s terror … but still … you painted quite a picture.

    If it’s any consolation, DeAnna – and I do gather from your blog that you’re having a bit of a bumpy road right now – the movie has a lot of humor, and it is actually a very hopeful view of things. Very. It’s not dark or bleak or hopeless at ALL. It just hits me right between the eyes.

    Hang in there. :)

  24. beth says:

    *pouts*

    so my tremendous psychological insights warrant no reply?

    thats ok, i’m just glad you’re back, red, if only because it makes me believe that if i close my eyes and click my heels together and wish really, REALLY hard…you might ever email me again.

    or should i be getting a hint…?

  25. red says:

    beth –

    Please attribute any and all of my rudeness to jet-lag right now. There are no hints. I’m just out of it. :)

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