Okay, so here's the deal:
I came across this meme over at Baboon Pirates:
If Cost Was No Object ... what 5 things would you buy?
And ... I feel like such a loser. I am drawing a blank. Is it that I just can't conceive of ever having money, so ... I don't dream about having a Lear Jet all to myself? Or ... what? I'm not big on 'gadgets' anyway (OBVIOUSLY! I still listen to CASSETTE TAPES!!) - I mean, I'm sure iPods are awesome, everyone loves them, it's just that I've never been feverish for the latest thing. But look at what El Capitan would buy:
A U-Boat.
The Astrodome
I mean, awesome, right?
I haven't had a car in so long, but when I did have a car, it was a Honda Civic, and I honestly feel like even if I were a millionaire, I would want to have a Honda Civic. I loved that car. Am I nuts? What is my problem? Should I get a Jaguar?
The first thing that comes to mind when I think about spending a chunk of money has to do with my family (vacations for all, buying houses for all siblings, setting up trust fund for Cashel) ... Not one OBJECT comes to mind. And then, vaguely, when "objects" do come into mind, what are they?
Books. Sigh. I can't help it.
I am now DETERMINED to complete this meme. And I have had to make my own rigid rules: Leave my family out of it. This is a fantasy world, you don't have to share. LET YOURSELF BE MATERIALISTIC. Don't just think about books.
My brain hurts. Okay. So let's give it a shot.
What 5 things would I like to have - if cost were no object?
1. A cozy castle in Ireland. Preferably on the West Coast, with a view of the Atlantic.
2. In the castle, I would like a full-blown movie-screening room. Like the one in The Aviator. And an awesome movie library to go with it. A HUGE movie library. (Does this count? Even though it's included WITHIN the castle?) Oh forget it - of course it counts. I'm having enough trouble with this meme as it is.
3. A private jet and my own pilot. "Take me to Chicago for the weekend!" "Fly me to Los Angeles!" Etc. (I think I'm getting the hang of this. I need to think in terms of POSSIBILITIES.)
Honestly - I feel like I can't think of anymore. Oh no wait, yes I can:
4. A Steinway Grand piano Now THAT would be great. I would love to play the piano every day.
5. The castle must have a reading room that looks like the bottom photo here. (Thanks, Emily, for the reminder.)
I would build a library reading room like the one you linked to last week and fill it with every book ever written.
Posted by: Emily at March 9, 2005 4:36 PMOh! Excellent! My castle must have one of those!!
Posted by: red at March 9, 2005 4:37 PMI guess that luxury should be preceded by the purchase of an actual house first. I don't think the managers of my apartment building would allow for the construction.
Posted by: Emily at March 9, 2005 4:41 PMAm I nuts?
Completely. Buying a Honda is like ordering a plain cheese pizza. It gets the job done, but not in a memorable fashion.
Think vintage Ferrari.
Posted by: Mr. Lion at March 9, 2005 4:42 PMMr. Lion - HA! You know, it's weird - believe me or not - but when I posted that question, I actually was posting it to you!!
Okay, so if this happens, you'll have to take me car shopping, cause I don't know shit.
Although I also would like to have a big ol fin-tailed American Grafitti type classic 1950s car, too. With leather seats. A real teenage make-out car.
Any suggestions would be welcome.
Posted by: red at March 9, 2005 4:43 PMI would import a Ford Prefect and get it all fixed up.
Posted by: Emily at March 9, 2005 4:46 PM1. Luxury Box at Fenway Park.
2. Borders Books. The whole chain. I mean fuck it, I've always wanted to own a bookstore.
3. The rights to the Beatles music - needs to be rescued from MJ.
4. Stone farmhouse in Vermont w. GIANT library
5. Pied a terre in Boston. Near Fenway of course.
Near Fenway? Why not Fenway, Dan? ;)
Money no object... hmmm..
1. A suitably sized island.
2. A suitably sized castle.
3. A suitably quick tranportation of castle to island (completely renovated of course - library wing, movie theatre, etc etc).
4. A suitably sized yacht.
5. A suitably sized fleet of aircraft (helicopter for island hopping/jet for further afield)
Can I have another pick? :)
Posted by: peteb at March 9, 2005 5:12 PMSuitably sized? What does that MEAN??
Posted by: red at March 9, 2005 5:13 PMOh and Dan: I absolutely LOVE you for the Beatles idea. What an awesome plan. Wish I had thought of it.
Posted by: red at March 9, 2005 5:14 PMWell, the first suitably sized would be an indicator for the others - although the location of the island may play a factor too.
But, off the top of my head.. Hawaii-sized.
Posted by: peteb at March 9, 2005 5:17 PMSheila, I saw a safety orange-lacquered player concert grand last weekend. It was custom ordered, but rejected by the purchasers as being the "wrong" safety orange. It retails for $36,000 and is on sale for $16,000 - should I place a hold on it for you, dear?
Posted by: Stevie at March 9, 2005 5:22 PMI'm dying to know what the "right" safety orange looks like.
Posted by: red at March 9, 2005 5:23 PMpeteb: I particularly liked the "suitably sized fleet of aircraft".
Posted by: red at March 9, 2005 5:24 PM//Oh and Dan: I absolutely LOVE you for the Beatles idea. What an awesome plan. Wish I had thought of it.//
Ah, no big thing - the good of the people and all that.
Posted by: Dan at March 9, 2005 5:27 PMhe he he he - me, too. I thought safety orange was safety orange. How off could the color be? And if it doesn't exactly match the wallpaper or whatever, then for goodness' sake, change the effing wallpaper! Design clients can be fun.
Posted by: Stevie at March 9, 2005 5:27 PMIt sounds like an orange grand piano would only fit in at Versailles or something.
Posted by: red at March 9, 2005 5:28 PMI'm intrigued to find out at what point the purchasers rejected the orange concert grand.. Surely they picked the colour?
And I'm starting to think my island should be Ireland-sized...
Posted by: peteb at March 9, 2005 5:35 PM1. A movie studio - "The Popskull Production Company" - with a sick prop department
2. A lot of authentic movie costumes, so I could shoot bootleg spinoffs from all of my favorite films - starring ME!
3. All of Mohonk Mountain with every structure on it.
4. A Tucker Torpedo
5. The contents of the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum.
Posted by: popskull at March 9, 2005 5:43 PMThere are blimps in the Smithsonian, right? Or Zeppelins?
If not, since money is no object, I could buy a sixth item, right?
Posted by: popskull at March 9, 2005 5:45 PMYes, the clients specified the safety orange color of the concert grand. They selected it from a paint chip. I thought it would look fabulous in Elton John's retro room, sitting on a flokati and surrounded by Barcelona chairs! Maybe iridescent blue/green glass tile curved walls? So the piano looked like a koi fish in a pond.
Posted by: Stevie at March 9, 2005 6:14 PMpeteb, the clients rejected the piano on their first viewing. Yes, they had selected the color, but gave the usual caveat of "What if we don't like it?" to which I suppose the designer said, "Oh, it's no problem, you don't have to take it if you don't love, but I'm sure you'll love it." I personally would not have allowed the piano to be ordered without the clients agreeing to take it no matter what. I'm a ballsy, no-nonsense designer in that regard. I guess their designer was "nicer," which comes to grief 99.9% of the time, I find.
Posted by: Stevie at March 9, 2005 6:18 PMPopskull...no blimps or zeppelins in the Smithsonian, just models & such...guess they wouldn't fit. But if you want to buy a zeppelin, here's the ordering information:
http://photoncourier.blogspot.com/2005_03_01_photoncourier_archive.html#111012916261360227
"nicer" is a very diplomatic way of putting it, Stevie.
Stupider would be a less tactful way.
Posted by: peteb at March 9, 2005 6:37 PMI just thought of something else I would buy: gigolos. Lots and lots of gigolos.
Posted by: Emily at March 9, 2005 6:40 PMDavid F,
That's awesome. Now if only money really were no object...
Posted by: popskull at March 9, 2005 7:28 PMP.S. First post attempt blocked due to my email domain of msn -dot- com
A mint and a casino, for 1 and 2. A waterfront real estate development might be no. 3. Perhaps a stock exchange for no. 4?
No 5 would be an airplane. I'm leaning towards one of the couple of Lockheed 1649 Starliners, because there literally aren't any adequately special flying boats on the market. (Although if I could get the Hawaii Mars or Phillipine Mars, that would be it.)
Posted by: CW at March 10, 2005 12:38 AMMy 6th choice would be, if money were no object, to commission Slartibartfast to design and build a new planet... with "a lovely baroque feel".
Posted by: peteb at March 10, 2005 6:57 AMTook me a while to think, too. Too many years as an impoverished grad student, I guess. (I was going towards the hopelessly mundane...new vacuum cleaner, stuff like that).
So, ok.
1. Buy/build some kind of v. large structure in my town and outfit it as a sort of personal comfort zone. A sauna. A giant reading room - all for me. There would also be acoustically-perfect concert hall. And a place where I can work out without being leered at. And a pool - again, all for me.
2. Hire a good orchestra or chamber group to play, at my request, in the acoustically-perfect concert hall described above. Maybe even some of them would be willing to give me piano or cellor or violin lessons. I've always wanted to learn cello or violin.
3. Hire my own personal secretary/bodyguard to answer the phone, run errands, and most importantly, keep annoying people at a distance. ("I'm sorry, ricki is currently engaged. Let me show you to the door."). I picture this person as being a blend of Jeeves, the Rock, and Arnold Schwartzenegger.
4. Hire a personal chef. (An addition to my pleasure-dome above: a well-appointed kitchen and handsome dining area.)
5. A floor loom, and an instructor to teach me how to use it. Call me crazy but ever since I saw someone operating one at Hale Farm when I was a wee small child, I've wanted to learn to weave - there seems to be something so comforting and elementally *right* about the rhythm of a floor loom operated by someone who knows how.
Posted by: ricki at March 10, 2005 8:29 AM1. A home in Illinois (to visit my family), in Arkansas (to visit D's family), somewhere in New England (for autumn), somewhere in Hawaii (for winter), somewhere in the West (for summer and for Christmas), and in NYC (for entertainment).
2. Clothing to fully stock each of those homes so that I never have to pack again.
3. A private jet to get to said homes.
4. Season tickets to Cameron Indoor Stadium.
5. A luxury box at Wrigley Field.
Posted by: Lisa at March 10, 2005 9:08 AMThese are all incredibly terrific. They're very revealing about who you all are - and I love that. They have also sparked some more choices from myself.
I must have my own personal masseuse - at my beck and call at all times. With a great masseuse room, which I already have designed in my head. So I suppose I need a good and sensitive designer (uhm - Stevie?) who can help make my "dream massage room" a reality.
Posted by: red at March 10, 2005 9:50 AMI'm on it!
Posted by: Stevie at March 10, 2005 10:22 AMred, I let you play my piano if I can borrow your masseuse.
Posted by: Scott Janssens at March 10, 2005 10:34 AMOnly five, eh?
1. A combination farm and boatyard. The farm would have an orchard with a market/bakery/pick-your-own/pumpkin patch operation, big stone farmhouse, nice big outbuildings. The boatyard would specialize in wooden boat construction and repair, but would also fix frozen snot (fiberglass) boats without making fun of the owners. And a really big library. ;-)
2. A schooner: Baltimore clipper or Tancook whaler hull form in wood, plank-on-frame (mahogany, teak, white oak, or longleaf yellow pine on oak frames), gaff-rigged, square tops'l. Say about 70' waterline length. To be christened Vengeance.
3. A restored P-40 Tomahawk with American Volunteer Group markings. Keep your nassssty private jetssses. ;-)
4. Cheap Trick: on retainer, so they could play parties for my wife (think big barn dances on the farm--you'd all be invited) three or four times a year.
5. USS Iowa, fully operational (w/crew).
Next on the list would be Hogwarts, complete with faculty (and if I can't get that I'll settle for Hampton Court Palace), and the Galactica, complete with crew and air group.
Posted by: Ken Hall at March 10, 2005 10:36 AMKen -
I have to say that "Cheap Trick on retainer" may be my favorite one of all.
Posted by: red at March 10, 2005 10:37 AMIf money were no object, I would ...
1. Aquire the Phipps family broodmare band. I could so upgrade the progeny of that group with more imaginative stallion choices.
2. Purchase a home adjacent to The Curragh so i could walk to the races.
3. Buy a home in Saratoga for the same reason, and so I could walk home after a night at The Parting Glass.
4. Own a Constable, any Constable.
5. Cure Alzheimer's.
Posted by: michael at March 10, 2005 10:42 AMAnother thing - buy plane tickets for me and all of my friends to go to Tomatina in Bunol, Spain. I have always wanted to do that.
Posted by: Emily at March 10, 2005 11:08 AMA life-sized replica of Han Solo encased in carbonite, which I would hang on my living room wall. When these first went on sale a couple years ago at a couple grand a pop, I remember thinking, "This is the sort of thing I'd blow my money on if I were rich."
The other items would probably be along similar lines:
-The plane from Fantasy Island that was for sale on eBay last year
-Funding to jumpstart research into flying car technology
-My own cable channel that consists solely of NEW episodes of excellent shows that were canceled before their time. (Tonight's line-up includes Freaks and Geeks, Angel and Firefly, with a slot reserved for Arrested Development.)
-Hits on Paris Hilton, Carrot Top, Adam Sandler and anyone who ever appeared on American Idol (including the judges). And when I say "hit" I'm not taking about the Top 40 chart. Number one with a bullet indeed.
Posted by: Mark at March 10, 2005 3:28 PM"3. A restored P-40 Tomahawk with American Volunteer Group markings. Keep your nassssty private jetssses. ;-)"
Ha ha, awesome choice of plane.
Posted by: popskull at March 10, 2005 4:33 PMWell, if you want to go 'mericin, I'd have to suggest a 66-67 Olds 442 convertible. Or, if you're feeling saucy, a '66 Shelby Cobra 427 S/C.
But I still say if I got you into something like a Ferrari 250 GT Spyder, you'd fall in love in about half a second.
Posted by: Mr. Lion at March 10, 2005 10:52 PM1.An island with a huge house with an even huger deck, so all my friends and family could come at any time, but there would be enough space so we wouldn't fight or argue with each other. Maybe a Kennedy Compound-esque kinda thing
2. James Taylor. He could be my personal assistant guy, or my friend. Either way, we would sit around, drink beer, and he would sing cause he wanted to, and help me with anything I wanted. But he would love his job.
3.All the books in the world, and I would share them with kids who never get a chance to have their own books. There is nothing greater than owning a great book, reading it and re-reading it and weaving it into part of your life. All kids should have that.
4.Money for everyone, so no one should have to worry about health insurance, or where their rent money is coming from, or food. All basic needs should be met. I truly feel if basic needs are met, you can get to know a person on a completly different level. Gone are the instincts of survival, and you get to know the "real"person. The world would be a better place.
5. A home on the Aran Islands. I have seen them, but never been. It is a magical, mystical, legendary place in my family's history. I don't even need to see it to know I need to live there. I feel it inside me.
1. Unlimited access to a beach (warm of course) I have unlimited access to a beach now, but I'm talking tropical. Instant flight, instant beach chair.
Posted by: jean at March 11, 2005 11:29 AM