The Sheila Variations

You may not be saying "that she's NOT a quiet shy homebody."

But I will.

I mean - "It took Reid several moments to realize her boob had popped out--she continued waving to fans and photographers until her publicist came to her rescue."

Trashed I tell ya.. trashed.

How can one not know that one's boob is completely revealed? Have you seen the photo of that moment? It wasn't a wee flashing side-of-boob glimpse, where it's conceivable that she might not have known what she was showing. This was full-throttle "here is my boob".

I mean ... Tara. PLEASE!

Nope.. I haven't seen ANY photos of that moment.. none at all.

The description, though, is enough to convince me that:

a) she WAS trashed.
b) it was, probably, accidental - in that she really didn't know... see a).

That's why, IMHO, she's determined to convince otherwise.

Sheila, I think we can rest easy in the knowledge that try as she might, Tara Reid's act will never be cleaned up. We can poke fun of her trash for a long time to come. I mean, you can take the girl outta Jersey and stash the Yaffa blocks for the In Style photo shoot but she'll forever remain a cheesy Jersey Girl.

Um, as someone whose sensitive artistic sensibilities were ridiculed by the likes of Tara Reid in my Jersey-reared childhood, I have permission to be catty without a speck of guilt.

"And she's worried people will now perceive her as less than chaste."

Now?

peteb:

Oh, you have to see the picture. She's not even flustered. She's standing there, in the middle of a red carpet situation, smiling openly at the camera, and there is her boob. But her FACE is what makes the whole thing so amusing.

curly:

"yaffa blocks" hahahaha

heh heh

Trashed I tell ya.. trashed.

Let's not forget that Ms. Reid got gigantic breast implants right before the slippage incident. Perhaps it was the post-op lack of sensitivity that caused her to not notice a breeze on her massive breast.

Or, she could have just been trashed.

Nevermind her comments of denial. The headline of the story says it all.

"Tara Lets Lawsuit Hang Out"

I feel that there will be a celebrity that will abandon their mainstream career and turn to hardcore Porn. I'm not saying it's Her, (in fact I was hoping it'd be Jennifer Love Hewitt) but Tara's got tendencies of someone who will eventually resort to either Skinemax post 10:30 PM friday night fapp-flicks, or all the way hardcore with Mr. Marcus and Lex Steele.

...not that I know anything about that sort of thing...

As long as it's not Paris Hilton. Guehhhh.

Or maybe, Jess, it was on a more primal level - like: "Hey, people, look at my new boobs!"

Wutzizname, don't say that. I don't want Tara Reid ruining my Cinemax After Dark.

"How can one not know that one's boob is completely revealed?"

Red, That girl was higher than a Giraffe's ass that night. Look at the picture again. Can you SEE how inflamed her nostrils were in that picture? She was up on SOMETHING so well, she didn't care what was happening down there.

...although I wouldn't put it above a publicity stunt. I mean, look at the Super bowl :)

wutzizname:

Yeah, the glassy eyes. I'm telling you: that photo is HIGH COMEDY.

Here is your task, you Baltimore Boy. Find that photo. And put a link to it here. I need Pete to see it.

Jess, Tell me she isn't the next Shannon Tweed. Look at her. She did an action flick with Christian Slater and Steven Dorff.

Based on a particularly lame videogame.

...and it wasn't even that accurate to the game. it was just some crap that someone threw 125K at, and said 'We're going to be rich!'

Cop Rock was on the air longer than that thing was in theaters....

She's no Shannon Tweed. I see her more in hordcore porn. And here's the pic, from Awful Plastic Surgery...

http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/005461.html

I didn't know about the implants angle, Jess..

OK here's the new scenario.. She intended to let the shoulder strap slip.. slightly.. but she'd catch in time.. but not before the salivating shutterbugs had all taken many many photos.. she waves at them.. laughs and wanders inside..

Except.. she forgot to catch the shoulder strap in time.. because she was TRASHED.

I adore Cop Rock put-downs. That show was the Ishtar of TV. I haven't seen either but I know fine well that they both sucked. Pooh-poohing these projects without ever having seen them is like a cultural more or something.

and yep.. judging from the actual photo (thanks Jess, I think)..

Trashed.

I think "trashed" is a given when it comes to Ms. Reid. She was probably trashed during the photo shoot for In Style too

Yeah, I think she pretty much defaults to "trash".

First of all I will NOT be a party to laying FLAT one of the greatest Camp TV shows to ever get produced. "Cop Rock" was pure, ultimate, and sweet, sweet genius. Ah. Better.

But back to Tara, did you read at the very bottom of the article that Fox has a "comedy Telvision vehicle" planned for her? A Vehicle?! What in the name of GOD is happening??

Alex:

haha Yeah, really. Good luck out there in Hollywood, Alex. :)

Ermm... doesn't that 'vehicle' undermine the basis of her lawsuit.. that she "has suffered injury to her business in that she has lost value of her reputation"?

See Sheila, I got it all planned out.

First, I get dressed in a small, stripped, way-too-small halter so my tits can hang out the bottom. I put on some skin tight, vagina showing hip hugger blue jeans, and some sling back sandals. I then boof my air out,spray it to filth and back, drink about a gallon of Vodka, pop some Meth in my pockets and I head down to Sunset and Vine.

I shake it a bit up and down the strip, and I get noticed by two horny middle aged producers with bad wigs on, driving their mid life crisis red sports car with the top down.

They offer me a TV deal in which I have complete and total creative control, with the one, tiny, minor exception: it must co star Shelly Hack, because she's tired of doing Depends commercials.

I say yes.

I win an Emmy.

My career is made.

I'm fine Sheila, don't you worry about me one bit.

Alex - if we were in the same room, I would throw something at you for saying the words "Shelly Hack" on my blog.

Other than that, sounds like an awesome plan.

Another theory for the Tara Reid boob incident is suggested at Awful Plastic Surgery: she's obviously had implants inserted through the nipple, and a common side effect is loss of sensation. That's why she didn't know that her dress had slipped.

That, and plenty of liquid anaesthetic.

BEAVIS: Whoa, check it out! It's Cop Rock!

BUTTHEAD: This is the one where they sing in court?

BEAVIS: No, it's the one where they sing in the locker room.

BUTTHEAD: That's the same show, dumbass. There only ever was one show.