The Sheila Variations

Haven't noticed them, but they probably don't hang where I do.

In Europe they used to use devastatingly cute girls to get you to do the questionnaire. Do they do that here as well?

No. It's mostly Bill Gates-looking type guys. They have clipboards. It really looks like a medical display, rather than Scientology. There are no words saying "Scientology" - although "Dianetics" is seen everywhere. Unless you know the connection, you could be duped. And then of course there are the L Ron Hubbard books. But still: you'd have to know the history of Scientology to know what one has to do with the other, and I'm sure a lot of people don't. So they sit down thinking they're just having a stress test, and meanwhile ... they are getting sucked into the vortex.

This is a warning: if any of these people approach me while I'm in town, I'm going to kick their ass. I am the girl who vomited on the steps of their precious shrine on Hollywood Blvd. when I was 15 years old. On purpose. My feelings about this "religion" bring entirely new depths to the word contempt.

I have been seeing the Scientology folks more. I've also seen a lot more of the "Hipsters Recruiting for Jesus," young, Williamsburg-looking types urging you to let the Lord into your life which will, presumably, make you cooler.

Whenever the world's pains are as obvious as they are currently, you get the self-appointed fishers of men setting up shop more visibly.

I did one of their stress test things once upon a time, for shits and giggles. They looked at me like a bomb with one second left on the clock afterwards, for some strange reason.

'course, I didn't skew the results or anything. Because that would be naughty.

Mr. Lion - did they ask for personal information?

They used to always be on the streets, but i think I read something about Bloomberg kicking them off the sidewalks, so now they're in the subway stations, Times Square primarily.

I'm with Emily on the Scientologists.

Did you know that L. Ron started Scientology because of a bet at a poker game with Jerry Pournelle and Robert Heinlein. L. Ron bet them he could start a religion, and make up the most ridiculous, stupid, idiotic stuff he could think of, and people would join it and pay him large sums of money. He won the bet.

Also, ever been to Clearwater, Florida? Known as "occupied Clearwater" to the locals because of the huge Scientology presence in the downtown area? They wear their "navy" uniforms there. The first time I saw them I thought they were a Junior Navy ROTC unit on a field trip.

CW - Scientologists are scary, and they're con artists, on a global scale. Doesn't mean they're not fascinating. I'm fascinated by cults.

Check this out:

http://www.xenu.net/archive/photoalbum/

Also have you ever heard the story behind their religion? That all humans are infested with the damned souls of space aliens nuked by the evil alien warlord Xenu? (hence xenu.net)

CW - Yeah, I know all about the religion and the aliens, and the "getting to clear" and all their weird shit. I was obsessed with it for a while -Like my obsession with the Manson murders or totalitarian regimes.

My interest in it isn't endorsement of their ideas and lunacy. Sheesh.

Rick Ross (the cult-buster extraordinaire) has one of the most extensive archives of stuff on Scientologists - and Clearwater - I have gotten completely lost in that archive, reading all the stuff. It's so AWFUL. Ross has been constantly harassed and audited since he set up shop. But he keeps going, fighting them, exposing them, etc.

For whatever reason, they seem to be everywhere these days. I used to work right across from their building and gift shop - up on 51st street - so I would see them all the time - but now, they seem to be everywhere.

And yeah - Steve, I have seen them mostly in Times Square and Port Authority recently.

Xenu ... hahaha It's all so ludicrous.

Weird, too - when I posted all those bad reviews of Battlefield Earth on my old blog - within a couple of days I started receiving hostile weird emails from some random person I never heard of before. I was new to blogging at the time, so it took me longer than it should have to figure out he was a lunatic, and not interested in my blog or anything: he was a Scientologist, had tripped over that post, and it PISSED HIM OFF.

But it was within 48 hours of me posting it. It was kind of creepy.

Tentacles.

I, too, went through a "cult obsession" phase. The Scientologists are about the worst. One thing about bogus made-up cult religions, however: they are WAY profitable.

Right - you need to keep spending more and more money in order to achieve "clear". It's so bold-faced, so apparent ... and the stories of what happens when people try to get out of Scientology are really frightening.

It seems to be the most corporate of cults. Like: they punish you for disobedience through ruining your credit, and stuff like that. Not just by saying: "If you leave, you will burn in the fiery flames of hell." That's nothing compared to the long-term damage Scientology can do to you just because they have all of your financial and identity information on file.

Yeah - I would kind of like to talk to some of their people, as a kind of an experiment. But it's too dangerous. If they get any idea of your name, address, etc, they will literally destroy your life to extort more and more money. They are so rich and powerful that the only way to "trick" them is with institutional assistance.

Not even institutions are above these people, CW. These are the folks who broke the balls of the IRS, for Christ's sake.

Yup. No way to get close - you can't even have a meet-and-greet without them getting their tentacles on you. When I worked across the street, I would see people coming and going, and I SO wanted to go in there and say, "Hi, I'm interested in Scientology, can you give me some more information?" - but thanks to Rick Ross, I knew that they didn't go for that. But I just wanted to hear them talk about their wacky views.

When Time magazine did that enormous cover story about them - maybe 10 years ago? - the woman who did the article is still being harassed today, but she describes her experience walking into some Scientology HQ and how impossible it was to get even just a PAMPHLET from them. Nope. Anything you get from them, you have to pay for. And before you pay, you have to give them your social security number, and they probably make you pay with a credit card - and then you are FUCKED.

Emily - right. Exactly. It's really extraordinary the power they wield. It seems unbeatable.

I have seen these people, they were running the stress test out of the PATH station this weekend. I laugh at them, and revel in my religon free time.

Emily is also correct that the IRS has been cowering in fear of them for the last 10 years - although I thought the Scientologists must have bought some politicians (more than the Utah ones they already own) for that deal.

Look what I found.

I knew there seemed to be more of them than usual out and about.

I'm a lunatic - but here's a WSJ piece from 1997 about the massive settlement suit between the IRS and Scientology.

its very curious that so many of the "celebs" who are Scientology happy are also rumored to be hiding a big secret. Tom Cruise? John Travolta? Kirstie Alley? Parker Stevenson? Hmmm..any link? A friend in LA told me that her dad joined because one of their missions is to "cure" homos...does the list of clebs make more sense??

Mitchell - there actually is a lot of information pointing to John Travolta wanting to leave Scientology but he can't - because of all they know about him, and also how they could ruin him financially.

And yes - they say they can cure homosexuality. I guess if you go into a sweat lodge for 3 days, and drink their special water, you are "cured".

And then they own you for life.

fucked up!!! Its like a pact with the devil..they protect you and you pay and can't leave...why did Travolta make that movie??? Did he think it would appease them and they would let him go and be a pole-smoker like he was in the seventies?

There are a couple of articles about Travolta and the making of that movie in the cult-database archive I linked to up there in the comments section - if you're interested, Mitchell.

It made me feel really BAD for him. I mean, whatever - the guy's got a great career and everything, but it's like they have this hold over him. And it's not just an imaginary hold, like some vegan commune in the desert - it's a monetary hold, and it's an identity hold - like they could ruin everything.

he always seems sad to me ..on talk shows and stuff...he seems so obsequious..like he has no self...also if i see this supposed str8 guy do his imitations of Barbra and Bette Davis one more time...i mean..c'mon..once again i invoke stereotypes..but even the most evolved str8 guys who are my best friends wouldnt be able to name a Bette Davis movie..never mind do an imitation!!

And his wife protests too much - have you ever seen her in interviews? On a red carpet somewhere: "So how's the marriage?" She always says something like: "We still have the hottest sex every single day." Uhm ... thanks for sharing so inappropriately. Why do you need to tell us how much sex you have?

I'll see if I can't dig up some of those pieces on Travolta's struggles with scientology - and how he tried to distance himself from the organization (as opposed to Tom Cruise, who is basically evangelical about it.)

From what I've read about how Scientology can strong-arm you, once they've got you ... it's infuriating to contemplate. LIke there's no way out.

by the way..i'd like to talk to you about a new group ive joined..can i have your social security number? No biggie..its just for info purposes..maybe when i come to town we can discuss it?

...oy the wife...there is always an issue when your defending your sex life to people who didn't ask.

In re: the IRS and Scientology

I'm sure there's been a similar dispute between some nation states in Europe and Scientologists relating to the same tax issue.. in most [all ?] EU states 'religions' get a favourable - or perhaps even zero? - tax rating.

I had forgotten this story, but I believe what happened was that Scientology got some of their celebrity cultists to use some influence with the Clintons, who instructed their IRS Chief, Goldberg, to give Scientology everything they wanted. There were some really strange rumblings around Washington at the time about it, but it was lost in the noise of all the other Clinton scandals.

Oops - I was partially wrong in the last post. Fred Goldberg was the IRS Director in the 1st Bush administration and people at IRS at the time thought he was blackmailed. He resigned a couple of months after his mysterious meeting with the Scientology goons.

But the Scientology settlement didn't actually come until October 1993 and there was a lot of talk about Scientology influence with the Clintons, especially Hillary, who had (and has) several very close friends who are highly-placed celebrity Scientologists.

peteb: I think there was an enormous scandal about it in ... Belgium? Like they said: GO THE FECK AWAY, we don't want you here. Let me look it up. It was over the same issue.

I know the Germans have a big problem with Scientology.

Mitchell -

My friend and sometimes-boyfriend during grad school Wade (member him? you met him) was in Hysterical Blindness - great HBO movie. He was in all the pool hall scenes and spent a lot of time in between takes hanging out with Juliette Lewis who is a Scientologist. He said she was really cool, really nice ... but in typical Wade fashion, really non-threatening and non-judgmental, asked her to talk about Scientology and what she got out of it and she went OFF, giving him all this information about the sweat lodges and the stress things and how she is reaching enlightenment and how it helped her. He said she was totally wacky, but nice.

wow...the list of celebs certainly includes "cool" people..that's what weird about the whole thing.

Did you see that movie, mitchell? wasn't it kick-ass and almost unwatchably painful at times? Juliette Lewis is amazing. But they're all amazing in it.

i loved the movie..Jim and i watched together on Grennview...we cried..Gena Rowlands!