I read two reviews today that made me laugh out loud, both in The New York Times.
First one: the review of the upcoming TV movie "Riding the Bus with my Sister" - which sounds like the most condescending wrong-headed but well-intentioned project since "The Other Sister". I am about to be extremely obnoxious and offensive. Rosie ODonnell stars as a "mentally disabled" women. Apparently, that means that she wears different colored sneakers and extra-large T shirts. Also, because this is Hollywood, it means that she has all the secrets to life. It doesn't matter that her brain flickers like a dim bulb. She is a GENIUS when it comes to "the important things". She is here to show us the right way to live. Anyway, the review in the Times is one of the funniest things I have read all day - and I am TOTALLY going to watch the movie. Because hell ... it's been a while since I saw Rainman! I need another moron to tell me the Meaning of Life.
What is it with this formula? Who came up with this formula? I don't get it. Mental illness or mental disability isn't cute or funny to those who have to deal with it on an every day basis. It's hard, it's a lot of work ... So this formula seems so weird to me, and I don't get it. I mean, I do ... on some level ... and sometimes it works (a lot of people loved Forrest Gump - I happen to have despised that movie so much I wanted to drive a stake through the movie screen - but millions of people can't be wrong.) Also Rainman - I enjoyed that film. The good thing about that character was that he seemed REALLY disabled - not just kind of cute and enlightened in a really simplistic way. Member Benny and Joon? Another example. I liked that movie, kind of ... but again, what exactly was her problem? Was she disabled? Did she have a mental illness? Or was her "disability" just a plot device to show the rest of us how stiffly and rigidly we live our lives?
The most EGREGIOUS example of this formula was the incredibly annoying kid that they threw into Gigli for ... no reason whatsoever. He started out extremely retarded, barely verbal ... and by the end of the movie, he was spouting pearls of wisdom, and dancing with a bunch of extras on Baywatch. I'm not kidding. The movie ends with this dim-bulb-kid dancing with Baywatch extras. And ... we're supposed to feel what about this? That ... it's a triumph? Are we supposed to look at one another, teary-eyed, all choked up that the retard realized his goal of Baywatch-babes? I'm serious - I really think that the director thought that THAT would be our response. I found that portrayal of a mentally disabled person so arbitrary, so offensive, and also - so gratuitous - like: what the hell was he doing in that movie?
Obviously to show the two leads what is really important in life ... and to show them how to laugh in stressful moments ... to show them how beautiful life really is ...
It was SO EMBARRASSING to watch. Never mind the awful-ness of Bennifer. Never mind the toe-cringingly bad "yoga scene". Never mind the embarrassing-ness of the worst sex scene ever filmed in American movie history. (I still have nightmares about the expression on Ben Affleck's face when J-Lo got on top.) All of that wasn't awful enough. They just HAD to throw a retarded kid into the mix, to try to teach us all some ... vague ... lesson ...
Anyway, Rosie O'Donnell's project is the latest in this genre which I truly believe needs to be put to BED. FOREVER.
But the review byVIRGINIA HEFFERNAN nails it. I was laughing out loud reading it:
As a character, she doesn't make sense: she's socially awkward, but not consistently disabled. She's less poignant or tragic than merely clamorous and bothersome.But if she bugs you, it's your problem. This underhanded movie makes Ms. O'Donnell into an appalling cartoon only to pretend innocence - or, no, moral superiority - when the viewer is appalled. Is Beth's voice deafening on your television set? Is her lumpy form in a Tweety Bird T-shirt depressing? Is her nascent sexuality hard to contemplate? You must have no heart. And you will have to come around to her innocent wonders.
"come around to her innocent wonders ..."
There's a reason I love bad mean reviews. They're usually so much better written than the good ones, because the reviewer has her dander up.
It just gets bitchier:
A hotshot fashion photographer who lives in an overdesigned apartment in New York with her boyfriend, with whom she doesn't have time to have children, this devil-woman is very vulnerable to a Hallmark turnaround, and sure enough, she gets one when her father dies and she's stuck taking care of Beth.At first Rachel is mad, but she gets used to it, even the constant bus-riding that occupies her sister's days; after some setbacks, she sees what a bad, bad workaholic she is, and learns about love.
holy crap, I have to see this.
Listen to how the review ends:
This is a deeply - even thrillingly - embarrassing movie.
HAHA
I love that! I'm totally going to have to watch a little bit of it, because I love to be deeply - and yet thrillingly - embarrassed.
Update: Another post on this topic. Fake compassion, indeed.
Posted by sheilaWhen "The Other Sister" came out, I said, "Oh, my. Is this what we've come to? Making fun of the RETARDED?" But then I realized it was SERIOUS. Ye gods.
Posted by: Lisa at April 29, 2005 3:59 PMHave you seen Rosie's blog?
Posted by: skillzy at April 29, 2005 4:00 PMOh, of course. I read it every day.
Posted by: red at April 29, 2005 4:01 PMDamn. I already fell prey to the moral superiority device - just from watching the promos. Every time I see one, I want to say something really ugly, but have held my tongue. (So unlike me) In fact, my partner worries that I'll be a shoe-in for hell because of the "mean" things I say.
Well, now that I feel duped...oh honey...is she ever going to get an earful this weekend!!!
Posted by: syd at April 29, 2005 4:10 PMOMG, I saw an ad in a magazine for this movie and haven't stopped thinking about it since. As much as I detest Rosie, I MUST watch it. I stared at that ad for like 20 minutes. My range of emotions went from disbelief to irritation to agitation to disgust and then back to agitation again. She is such a tool. And oh my God, have you seen her artwork?!?! She decoupages the shit out of magazines and passes it off as "art." I hope she has a freak accident with a hot glue gun one of these days.
Um, sorry. This took a rather violent, off-topic turn. As I was saying, I cannot wait to watch this movie. I will no doubt tear it asunder. Stay tuned for my review.
Posted by: curly mcdimple at April 29, 2005 4:30 PMcurly - I have to watch it. I can't wait for your review.
And thank you for using the words "tear it asunder" on my blog ... in regards to a TV MOVIE.
Posted by: red at April 29, 2005 4:31 PMIt's already programmed into Tivo. The movie that has always cracked me up is "Regarding Henry" where it takes a bullet in the head and a catastrophic brain injury to turn Harrison Ford's Henry the lawyer into a good father, husband and person. I will watch it whenever it's on and marvel at the underlying message.
Posted by: susie at April 29, 2005 4:38 PMI love me some Harrison Ford but that movie was a shameless attempt (as are most in this genre) at an award nomination. Tres embarrassing for all involved.
My favorite part: After learning how to read again, he jumps with relative ease from "Are You My Mother?" to really complicated legal briefs. Miraculous, I tell you!
Posted by: curly mcdimple at April 29, 2005 4:46 PMRight! Regarding Henry! I forgot about that one. hahaha with the quick learning curve on the reading. heh heh heh
Posted by: red at April 29, 2005 4:53 PMThe stereotype you refer to (which I call 'the Magic Retard) is one of my least favorites, second only to The Magic Negro. Both the Magic Retard and the Magic Negro are presumed to be possessed of great wisdom and mystic truths(plus innocence and moral superiority) by virtue of being mentally disabled or having a different skin color.
I think the intent is to exalt these people; ironically what it does is reduce them to caricatures and steal their humanity.
Posted by: Dan at April 29, 2005 5:06 PMDon't forget Sean Penn in "I Am Sam."
Posted by: Rachel at April 29, 2005 6:32 PMJust watching the promo was painful - I can't even imagine the horror of trying to sit through the entire movie...
Posted by: MikeR at April 29, 2005 11:25 PMThe idea of Rosie O'Donnell speaking LOUDER THAN NORMAL as part of her portrayal, it just somehow rips a hole through my frickin temple.
Posted by: Stevie at April 30, 2005 12:33 AM
Sheila -
Don't know if you read Ace of Spades HQ (what with all the time it must take you to read through Rosie's blog every day), but he plans on live blogging the event.
Dan - so is the movie "Radio" a two-fer? (Or does this not count 'cus it's BASED on a true story? The "real" Radio does live that far from me as it turns out)
Posted by: JFH at April 30, 2005 5:30 PMI felt this way about "Ten Things I Learned from Bill Porter" which was later made into a cringeworthy TV-movie.
Here's my bad review of it:
http://recommendedread.blogspot.com/2002/05/ten-things-i-learned-from-bill-porter.html
Oh, my gosh. I thought I was the only person who hated, HATED, the formula of "here is this disabled person but they're really somehow superior to the rest of us because they are the only ones who can see clearly the important things in life." HATED "Forrest Gump." I actually got into arguments with friends who were trying to evangelize me into the wonders that they saw in Gump.
My few experiences in dealing with the disabled have been, I'm sorry to say, more frustrating and uncomfortable for me, and (Ok, maybe I'm going to Hell for this) I've been frankly relieved when the interaction ended.
And I loathe Rosie O'Donnell's acting. She just seems like the kind of person who'd consume all the oxygen in the room if you were with her, she's just so OVERBLOWN in her persona and voice and just EVERYTHING.
(And can I say how much it bugs me that playing some kind of a disabled character is often seen as a shoo-in for some kind of award? It's almost like the awarding group is patting itself on the back, saying "look how enlightened we are! We recognize there are disabled people in the world! And we're giving this highly paid actor an award for portraying one of them!")
Posted by: ricki at May 1, 2005 2:12 PM