The Sheila Variations

My sister-in-law was at Target with three of her six children and she was hurrying through to the check out because the kids were beginning to act up and a lady in line looked at her and the kids and asked, "Are they all yours? Sweetheart don't you know what causes that?" No, "bless your heart." No, "can I help you unload your cart." No words of encouragement. Just a bitchy comment.

The nerve.

Ah, yes, the dreaded Mommy Drive-By. How I've missed them. (They tend to stop when the child reaches school age.)

Remind me sometime to post my Breastfeeding Nazi story. It's a beaut.

hahahaha

Can't wait!

This one is really getting to me. I can’t stop thinking about it, because as one of thirteen children I had to deal with these sorts of idiots my entire life. People who think that it is perfectly acceptable to ask questions like, “didn’t your parents have a television?” of a ten year old. The same sister-in-law I mentioned above was at the doctor’s office and dragged four of the kids along because she figured she might as well have the doctor take a look at all of them while she was there. A lady in the waiting room leaned down to my niece - my sweet, heart-breakingly innocent four year old niece - and said, “tell your mommy you don’t want any more brothers and sisters.” So niece says, “No way! I want a little sister!” Smack down, bitch.

This stuff makes me so irate. I’ll stop now and go make an appointment with my therapist.

I took both my kids out into the big bad world within less than a week of each of their births. I was at the grocery store with my second, maybe 3 days after she was born, and throughout the store a number of little old ladies (don't mean to target a specific group, but hey, that's who it was) peered into the carrier at my sleeping HEALTHY AND JUST FINE daughter, asked how old she was, and when I told them, they looked at me like I'd just told them I let her roll around on the highway to encourage her survival instincts to kick in. They'd shake their heads and look judgemental and concerned and disapproving and the happy little moments just popped. So GOOD for that father for speaking up. If you can't say something nice (or make a nice face), then please go away.

When my daughter was four months old we took her out to dinner with another couple. We lived in Maine, and it was a beautiful (but chilly) spring evening. I figured since we were heading from the front row parking space into the warm restaurant about 3 yards away she didn't need a hat. Some old biddy literally STOPPED HER CAR to stick her cottonball head out the window to chastise me for making said judgement call. Luckily, my friend Rick (member him, Jayne??) just half turned around and sneered at her, "Stuff a sock in it, you old bag!" ha haha!!

Beth! I remember Rick - good for him.

"Cottonball head" - hahahaha!

Gee, and your daughter is so weak and frail as a result of that early hatlessness, too...

Not only was Hayden the hottest-natured baby ever born, he was born in August. In Arkansas. Shoes and/or socks never touched his wee toes, nor hats his wee head, for the first eight weeks of his life.

But you would've thought I was carrying him naked through the Artic, occasionally dragging his wee tootsies through the odd snowbank, the way people stopped and asked me where his socks were and why didn't that baby have a blanket or at LEAST a hat?

I asked one drive-byer where HER socks were and she said, "Well, it's too hot!" And I said, "Exactly."

If you can't say anything nice, my mom used to say. . .

"None of your beeswax, beeyotch" is also an appropriate response.

God. People are just RUDE. They have nothing better to do than be superior little busybodies about everybody else's business.

Massive unknown kudos to the dad in the story.

I have to do a post someday about all the crap I've gotten from people over the years; people just ASSUME that fathers have no idea what they're doing when it comes to babies and children.

Can you imagine if I called an elderly senior citizen Mainer "beeyotch"????????? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhahahhahaha!