The Sheila Variations

Ack!

Ooh, ooh! Have you seen this one? You may be upset to learn that...
"Oscar-winning actress Renee Zellweger and country singer Kenny Chesney are seeking an annulment after four months of marriage."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/4251388.stm

Haha Julia, when I saw that late last night I though "oh shit, Sheila's gonna love that"

I think the second guy on the left did my last pedicure.

Well, my day is now ruined. Geez, just when I was recovering from the sad news about Kenny and Renee, you and Alex bring this into my home office!

Think of the children!!

JFH - I know, I know. I deeply apologize. I jsut felt I needed to share that image ... so I wouldn't feel so alone.

Oh, and about Miss Z and her hubby - I know!! who-hoo! This is who I have become. I cheer when other people get divorced. I don't care. She's such a jagoff, and a phony.

What's this about "fraud" - she listed that as the reason for annulment? Fraud?

There have been rumors around the country music world that Mr. Chesney plays for the other team, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

Yes, Lisa. I know what you mean. hahahaha

I had not heard the rumor, however ... because I do my best to block that pucker-faced phony out of my mind completely.

Hmmmm. I suppose that's what you get when you marry someone merely because you bond over the horror of a tsunami.

I'm not sure what that link you posted is since work is filtering it out BUT... I give you... more Yatta!

http://www.verylowsodium.com/fanimutation/exuberance.php

I think she got mad because he's skinnier than she is.

"You said you'd get fat so that I would look ALL THE MORE SKINNY! Fraud!"

Ms.Z (Mizzy?) claimed fraud as grounds for divorce? How odd. If Lisa is right about Mr.K, then Mizzy enters the pantheon of showbiz beards, a place in Twinkletown she's actually earned. Did you see Down with Love, Red? Her big speech toward the end where she explains everything to Ewan was so bad, so spine-tinglingly excruciating that I had to pause the DVD, walk outside and hose myself off just to stop twitching.

stevie - hahahaha I think you and I have discussed the atrocious nature of her acting in that monologue before. hahahaha

I never saw that movie, since the previews ALONE made me barf.

Plus she need never again sully Ewan with her presence.

Oh right! She's like a soggy tostada in that scene - limp, cheesy and guaranteed to produce acid reflux. She's the refried beans of showbiz.

He's great in it. She stinks. I mean, she stinks as though she's in an elementary acting class. It's that bad.

And yet - she gets a pass on it. NObody really calls her on her bullshit.

Drives me nuts.

Wait, we're doing silly videos now? I wish I knew; Yatta has been confounding me for years. Of course, the Japanese have no shortage of weirdness.

In Japan, the hand can be used like a knife and Panasonic apparently runs some sort of Internet service called Hi-HO! The commercials feature some little Powerpuff Girls-esque kids running around naked except for their space helmets, touting the amazing services of Hi-HO! At least, that's what I was able to gather from them.

And the song is catchy as hell.

If you have Shockwave installed (and I think most people do nowadays), check out these little gems:
One of the Kaiser's boys goes ice fishing.
Beware the Fugu.
Don't hurt the squirrel!
Giant purple teddy bears giving autographs
Something about a giant tyrannical coin purse....
Sharks and Jedi training, I think.
Rabbits and the dancing Kaiser.
Fishing and a near-death experience.
The legend of Sir George and the Dragon as retold by Hi-HO!
Merry Christmas from Annual Gift Man.

And on the non-Shockwave side of things, a classic from a couple years ago, The Star Wars Kid AND The Remix With Special Effects.

"She is the refried beans of showbiz."

Stevie. You are my hero.

:) thanks! Just thinking about her in that movie makes me grind my teeth. Her performance is such an insult to Doris Day. Doris was so smart and funny and appealing in Pillow Talk, not fake in any way. Mizzy was false throughout, ickypoo coy, and as appealing as a Hello Kitty toilet seat cover.

I guess for every yin you must have yang.

Renee and Kenny must be serving as antithesis to the Paisleys, who had a pretty odd "getting to know you story."

http://abc.go.com/primetime/accordingtojim/bios/kimberly_williams-paisley.html

http://www.bradpaisley.com

Okay, these things cannot be repeated enough:

"Pucker-faced phoney."

"Refried beans of showbiz."

"As appealing as a Hello Kitty toilet seat cover."

Gawd, Renee would commit suicide if she ever read this blog.

WHat the hell is YATTA? I need an explanation. PLEASE!!! HELP ME UNDERSTAND!

"the refried beans of showbiz"

as someone who lives in the Southwest, allow me to say that that's an insult....to the refried beans.

when I heard the item on the radio this morning, I immediately thought "I wonder what Sheila is going to have to say about this?" hahahahaha.

I was wondering about the "fraud" bit too..."plays for the other team" makes some sense, but I was really hoping it was something more astounding and bizarre than that.

First:

"Yatta"

I now feel as though something profound has changed in me after watching that video. If you go the link, Mark has left the english translation. Apparently, the fig leaves have something to do with going to college.

Second:

Renne Zelwegger is an ass.

First, let me say that at first I really liked "the refried beans of showbiz". But after Ricki's comment, I had to reconsider. Refried beans are often much better than the original beans were; I don't think anyone is suggesting that about Ms.Z.

So, let me suggest a few alternatives:

"the overcooked carrots of showbiz"

"the limp broccoli of the silver screen" (Hmm, I don't think that has quite the right connotation.)

"the pureed prunes of Hollywood" (No, I'm pretty sure that's Ed Asner.)

I think this may require further consideration.

Good ones, Doug! You definitely get my drift :)

What's this about "fraud" - she listed that as the reason for annulment? Fraud?

Kenny Chesney: Muscle bound, sleeveless shirts, attractive young men in his vidoes, mentioning "Abercrombie clothes" in a song, butching it up in vidoes where some gay men think it is butch, like at the beach. All the signs are there.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here, and be as tacful as I can, and believe me when I say, I mean this with all the respect I can muster:

The guy's a flaming Homo.

From the Chicago Tribune:

"...Later Friday, "Entertainment Tonight" said a joint statement from the couple said "the miscommunication of the objective of their marriage at the start is the only reason for this annulment..."

Uh...OK.

"I need an explanation. PLEASE!!! HELP ME UNDERSTAND!"

I honestly don't know if there IS any possible understanding of Yatta, or any of a whole host of similar...um...grasping for a word here...stuff. I have a particular fondness for most things Japanese, yet notwithstanding, all I know how to do in reaction is simply to invoke the immortal words of Crow T. Robot from MST3K:

"Scientists labor to discover what the hell is the deal with Japan."

jeff - what??? Okay, we have truly lost the plot here.

I don't even know what that means.

I know I'm old-fashioned and everything, but I still think that "til death do us part" is a pretty good objective to start with ... I mean, what other objective could you have???

dave j - hahahahahaha that's hilarious

Well, all I know for sure is that the statement makes me shiver in anticipation of what might be forthcoming from the Cruise/Holmes annulment.

I believe TomKat are traveling to Japan to seek out a way to become molecularly bonded.

That was disturbing.

Pucker Face probably felt frauded because Kenny finally took his hat off!

You don't share something like "Yatta" so that you won't feel alone--you do it because it's the only way to purge the images and sounds from your OWN mind. Like when you have an annoying song or jingle rattling around in your head, the only way to get it out is to curse someone else with it.

I was highly disturbed by Yatta, until I sent it to several other people; Now I am able to laugh once more and enjoy my life.

Belinda- your comment rubs me the wrong way. Guess I don't like it when a stranger corrects my subjective experience. I know it's stupid and it's YATTA, for God's sake, but i don't appreciate it anyway.

"You don't share Yatta because of what YOU said ... you share Yatta because of what I say"

Buzz off.

Besides, everybody knows Sheila only shared YATTA with the rest of us because her thetans ordered her to, damn un-clear suppressive.

I did a niacin blast at lunch. I'm hoping that will get me clear-er.

Chesney is musclebound!? since when. ? hes a skinny runt

Tony - The "muscle bound" comment was about the people who appear in Chesney's videos, not about Chesney himself.

Did you even read the comment? Go back, read it again. You'll see what I mean.