that today is National Porn Sunday.
And so it is only fitting that Cullen - guest-blogging at Wunderkraut (although, I don't know, his posts have been so great I'm thinking he should set up shop for himself) has a post today dedicated to guitar porn.
I know I'm tempting the Google gods with writing down that word in full, but oh well. Writing down "porn" is nothing compared to the traffic I get to a certian post written 3 years ago about the daughter of a certain grunge rock star who shot himself in the head ... a little girl named for a certain doomed movie star who was given a lobotomy ... I am still bombarded with traffic to that post. My mistake was writing down her name in full. You would not believe how often people Google her name. You would not believe it. Probably 30% of my traffic in full is to that post. Grrrrrrr. Although, there's a good tip. If you want a steady flow of traffic and you don't want to have to work for it: write a piece where that little girl's name is the title of the post. You'll be all set.
Anyway - Cullen's post - about the guitarists who inspire him, who blow him away - is not to be missed. I love it when people write knowledgably and with passion about the things they love. It is always interesting to read.
Posted by sheilaOh, man. Thank you so much Sheila.
And, I probably also should have gone pron or p0rn or something.
Posted by: Cullen at October 9, 2005 2:11 PMhahaha Yeah, it'll be interesting to see what Google hits your post gets.
Really really nice post, though. Much fun to read. It must have taken a lot of work.
Posted by: red at October 9, 2005 2:14 PMYears of practice. I used to write weekly commentaries for some of my newspapers. Of course, the thing that always gets put off to the last minute is the thing you can do any time.
So, I'm pretty practiced at coming up with an idea and writing stream of consciousness.
Posted by: Cullen at October 9, 2005 2:20 PMIt will serve you well when you get your own blog.
hint hint
:)
Posted by: red at October 9, 2005 2:25 PMMan, if I could figure out how to incorporate little FBC's name into a post about interior design, I'd go for it - I need more traffic to my website!
Posted by: Stevie at October 9, 2005 3:44 PMI'm tellin' ya, Stevie, it would be worth your while to work it in ... Of course the people who will get to your site will be crazy Nirvana fans (you wouldn't believe the letters I get ... "Courtney killed him! I hate that bitch!" uhm ... thanks for telling me that. I wrote the post in 2003 ... but thanks for sharing) ...
If you don't mind dealing with wackos ... putting her name on your site is a surefire traffic driver!
Posted by: red at October 9, 2005 3:53 PMHehe. I'll keep that in mind. I think you've broken me down. I'll let you know when I get something stood up.
Posted by: Cullen at October 9, 2005 4:13 PMIf you don't already have it on file, Cullen.. here's some specialist p*rn - via Crooks and Liars
Direct link - Wish You Where Here - Live 8[QuickTime file] 6.95Mb
[Hopefully the link still works]
Posted by: peteb at October 9, 2005 5:20 PMThanks Pete. That was great! Brought a tear to my eye.
Posted by: Cullen at October 9, 2005 9:40 PMpeteb always has the BEST links. I'm serious, peteb. thank you for always being there with the best link. whether it's a live8 clip or a clip of the giant squid - you are there!!! :)
Posted by: red at October 9, 2005 10:15 PMI'm gonna take your advice, Red - maybe I can do a story on "Crime and Design" and include relevant examples - you know, a checklist:
1) Work with what you have - scatter rust-colored pillows all around to incorporate the blood stains into the color scheme, then think sage for a great accent color!
2) Select venetian blinds the same width and tint as the tape police used to outline the body.
3) Include black lights in the lighting plan for a fun night time change of mood - all those fingerprint dustings will glow like stars!
4) Blow up the most relevant sentence from the suicide note and have it written in script by a muralist all around the top of the room. A fabulous trompe loeil effect - make the words look like they're crying tears of blood!
5) Fill a huge bowl with potpourri the scent of teen spirit.
6) Mount a plasma screen askew and have the following movies constantly loop - Girl Interrupted, Bad Seed, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, and Helter Skelter.
7) Cover two ottomans with stringy golden hair. Call the brash one "Mummie" and the greasy one "Daddy."
8) For major upholstered pieces, choose a scratchy fabric with a sallow background and embroider various bruise-like shapes using lavendar, charcoal and urea. Trim with googly eyes.
9) Have a local craftsman create a three-tier chandelier out of syringes filled with faux horse. Suspend it from the ceiling using a golden rubber hose.
Posted by: Stevie at October 10, 2005 12:19 AMBut not the speeded-up footage of The Clash of the Sea Anemones, Sheila... not yet, that is. :)
Posted by: peteb at October 10, 2005 6:19 AM