October 13, 2005

defensive fashion

This is so damn funny. Just the whole thing. Read the whole thing.

Somewhere around sentence 3 I started laughing, and I am still laughing.

You see, I'm sure when other Scientologists mistakenly believe you are a super prominent Scientologist, they probably come up to you all the time and start yapping about clams and Thetans and Xenu and blah blah blah blah blah.

It's a rainy day. I'm so busy that even my eyelids are stressed out. I needed that laugh.

Posted by sheila
Comments

"...then they are totally going to try to suck you in and make you a zombie incubator for the offspring of one of their high-ranking actor members..."

Posted by: Emily at October 13, 2005 5:28 PM

I love Kelly Lynch.

And that was funny.

Posted by: Cullen at October 13, 2005 5:29 PM

"defensive fashion"

hahahahaha

There's no way anyone could get a fix on that pattern.

Posted by: peteb at October 13, 2005 5:38 PM

Kelly Lynch is successful 'cus she follows 3 simple rules:

One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice.

Okay, beside Roadhouse rules, the easy difference between the two Kelly's (besides the number of thetans in their respective bodies) is that while both seem like wholesome girls which guys THINK they can approach, Preston would rip your heart out once you got into a close personal conversation with (see her "acting" her real personality in Jerry Maguire... the other girl in the movie that plays Tom Cruise's other love interest; now, THERE IS A ACTRESS!!)... Lynch would let you down easy.

Posted by: JFH at October 13, 2005 9:12 PM

I just read up on 'silent birth'. I'm so totally disgusted with all things Scientology. I'm starting my new religion, however. It is called Cupcakology. I am building a space ship to take all my followers to Cupcasia where we'll live in bliss forever. However, it's going to take earth money to build my spaceship, the Homeward Cupcake. Please send checks to:

Agent Cupcake
100 Cupcake Lane
Cupcake Lake, AC.

Posted by: Agent Cupcake at October 13, 2005 10:32 PM

Cupcakology sounds cool, but Pastafarianism promises beer volcanoes and a stripper factory in the afterlife. I'm torn.

Posted by: Cullen at October 14, 2005 6:52 AM

I thought you were an Appliantologist, Cullen?

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at October 14, 2005 8:03 AM

Only on Tuesdays, Bing.

Posted by: Cullen at October 14, 2005 8:39 AM