If I ever say the words "verbal judo" without irony - if I ever say it and think it's actually clever and cool - please shoot me.
Read Zach's latest. It's grotesque. It actually kind of makes me angry.
But Zach, as usual, skewers the lucky pair.
Favorite moments:
They spent the next few months in a courtship that involved an inordinate amount of trust at one moment and outrageously coy cat-and-mouse games at the next.Again, I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. In fact, this sentence describes a courtship so harrowing and repulsive that I won't address it.
hahahahaha
Yeah - the line about the "inordinate amount of trust" stuck out to me. What is an "inordinate" amount of trust? What does that look like? She let him read her diary? He told her inappropriate secrets? Why not say "trust"? What about their level of trust was "inordinate"?
Also, Zach is so SPOT ON about the whole "uptown/downtown" dynamic of 9/11. I can't explain it better than he did. But he's right. So right.
And the pictures are nauseating.
Love Zach!!
Posted by sheilaYou used like twenty multisyllabic words in this post. You be smart.
Posted by: Emily at November 11, 2005 3:29 PMHey, you're the one who said you wanted a worthy opponent...or did you mean actual, as opposed to verbal, judo? Or maybe parcheesi (verbal or actual), as an alternative.
Sorry, just couldn't help myself.
Posted by: Ken Hall at November 11, 2005 3:46 PMwow, ken. I believe I made that comment over 2 years ago. Your memory scares me a little bit. I don't think I said "opponent" though. That doesn't sound right. I think I might said "worthy foe". Not sure.
Of course I want someone who I can spar with. I love the art of conversation. It is an art, you know!
But still: If i ever do meet a worthy foe, and I describe our conversatoins as "verbal judo" - I still give you permission to kill me on the spot.
I remember pretty much every embarrassing or stupid thing I've ever done--in excruciating detail.
That, and random blog posts.
Posted by: Ken Hall at November 11, 2005 4:00 PMAll baloney aside, I do have a pretty good memory.
Posted by: Ken Hall at November 11, 2005 4:01 PMhahahaha
Man, so if I ever can't track down a post I should come to you?? "Ken - what was that really witty thing I said about David Cassidy circa April 2004?" hahahaha
I swear, sometimes I can't even remember what I wrote last week. Or I'll think: "oh ho ho, I haven't told THIS story on the blog yet" - only to find that I actually HAVE told the story.
Posted by: red at November 11, 2005 4:03 PMRemember when you asked us all to write about the park, the lake, and the gravel path (I think it was)? Went looking for that post the other day and couldn't find it.
Figures.
Posted by: Ken Hall at November 11, 2005 4:05 PMken -
oh yeah! and a murder had happened, right??
that was SO cool - the things people came up with!!! I will find it. Hang on.
Posted by: red at November 11, 2005 4:07 PMOr did I imagine the murder?
Hmmmm ... I can't find it. I totally remember it now though. Some of the things people wrote were just amazing.
Posted by: red at November 11, 2005 4:16 PMWhen Chrisanne and I renew our vows, we're going to do it in a dark, dank,hovel located on the side of a cliff in the Hopi desert/ It will be decorated with pink and black knives hanging from the ceiling,and paper mache along the wet, moist walls. I'm going to read my vows from an aged scroll and Chrisanne will be dressed like the Jack of Spades. I will be wearing a black sequined bikini and a bright red funny hat. Our wedding cake will be a three tiered cheese cake, made with real gorgonzola, and a whipped cream topping which we will throw at all the guests after the ceremony. Water balloons will be filled with Wesson Oil and small torn pieces of paper with Sheakespeare quotes scrawled on them.
Our wedding will be presided by a guy dressed as John Gacy and all the guests must come in comstume, all dressed as various victims from mass murders of the 20th Century.
I am the walruss. Coo-coo-cu-choo.
Posted by: Alex at November 11, 2005 5:05 PM"Chrisanne will be dressed like the Jack of Spades"
My question is: how on earth will you get her to agree to that??
I better be invited. I will come as Sharon Tate.
Posted by: red at November 11, 2005 5:08 PMShe will do what I tell her. We are unique. We are trendy. We both like The Simpsons as well as Picasso.
Please come as Sharon Tate. Either that, or a housewife blown up by a stray bomb in WW2.
Posted by: Alex at November 11, 2005 5:11 PMOh, the choices!
Posted by: red at November 11, 2005 5:12 PMWhy would you even want to have something as pretentious as an Anti Wedding???? And what the hell does that mean anyway? ANTI wedding????? So, it's NOT a wedding. But...you're getting married. So, in order to be as "different" as possible, you've decided to get married but......not.
You're an ashole. I hate you.
Posted by: Alex at November 11, 2005 5:45 PMOooo! I will be Abigail Folger, and I will sprawl myself in the aisle in my blood-soaked nightgown.
And you can step on my back, because that's how WACKY AND SUBVERSIVE we are! Rawk!
Posted by: Lisa at November 12, 2005 9:21 AM