The Sheila Variations

Oh man, I recently rewatched this movie and I was furious by the time it was over. It appealed to me 10 years ago but I cannnot relate at all now.

I kinda like Winona Ryder. I can't help it. Although, when she uttered the following line, I wanted to die of embarrassment for her and Ben Stiller (since he wrote it):

"Aand whether you know it or not, you're on the inside track to Loserville, U.S.A..."

Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. This movie has not aged well at all.

Despite my love for pretty much everyone in this film, I have always hated it. It falls into the "asshole gets the girl" category for me. It's also why I hated "High Fidelity," which I get a ton of flack for (both for hating it and for putting it in that category). Movies where assholes get the girls in the end make me furious.

JESUS CHRIST HAS REMOVED HIS BLESSING FROM AMERICA BECAUSE OF THE AMERINAZIS. THIS HAPPENS WHEN A COUNTRY BECOMES SO THOROUGHLY CORRUPT THAT IT BEGINS VIOLATING THE LORD'S LAWS FLAGRANTLY. AMERICA'S LAST HALF DOZEN WARS HAVE BEEN WAGED PRIMARILY TO BOOST A PRESIDENT'S APPROVAL RATINGS. THOSE ARE UNJUST WARS, AND EVERYBODY KILLED IN THEM IS A MURDER VICTIM. PLUS, LOOK AT WHAT A DEN OF THIEVES THE AMERICAN MARKETPLACE HAS BECOME. AMERICA IS SOON TO BE TOPPLED, MUCH THE SAME AS THE FIRST NAZI NATION, GERMANY, WAS WHEN THEY WENT TOO FAR. MARK MY WORDS. http://www.mixposure.com/song.php?songid=14027.

AND BE A MAN. POST THIS COMMENT.

Dude,

Dean Berry, or whoever you are. You are a total tool.

Oh, and Sheila, you are not a man so you don't have to post that jack-ass comment.

It never ceases to amaze me that there are people that think like this REAL AMERICAN. Just goes to show you that there is a small percentage of people in great need of eating a knuckle sandwich. MARK MY WORDS DEAN BERRY!

Funny, I was just thinking about Reality Bites, and wondering if I would like it if I watched it now. I saw it when it came out, as a college senior, and loved it. But at that time I wasn't tuned in to the b.s. message-y stuff you're talking about, i.e. money is bad, "authority" is baaaad, man, etc. I mean, I got that that was what was going on in the movie, but it wasn't a message that spoke to or persuaded me ... or didn't; I just didn't care about that level.

Actually, I have to say now that I'm thinking about it, that in fact it totally backfired on me: I loved the Ben Stiller character, found him endearing and appealing and not at all tool-y, and recall being extremely pissed that he didn't get her in the end. Like, why would you pick slacker loser Ethan Hawke over him? Didn't get it. Then again, I had a mad, passionate crush on Alex P. Keaton growing up and have since married an academic version of same, so I dig capitalists (practicing or simply pro) as a rule, I guess.

How do you feel about the soundtrack? I have it somewhere and must get it out. It got a lot of airtime in my dorm room that year, but at the moment the only track I can remember is that Lisa Loeb tune. Which I still like.

Dean Berry: wait, whaaaaaaaa????? What is that, someone who sends some sort of broadcast thing to a bunch of places, or did he actually select your blog to comment on? Eeek. A scary thing to encounter at 6:20 in the morning.

P.S. Have your read, in one of Dooce's "L.A." posts, that she met Ben Stiller and that he is awful and mean? Noooooooo!!! I completely reject that information.

We Southerners can't win. We're either a bunch of welfare-cheatin', tobacco spittin' rednecks, or a bunch of evil Kentucky bluebloods, depending on the movie. My Southern accent has evened out over years of living abraod, but I like to turn it up a notch in Manhattan, just so people understimate me.

Strangely enough - Dean Berry's comment did not show up in my email. All comments are emailed to me, but his was not.

I'm just gonna leave it there because I find it amusing and pathetic. Just the kind of thing I want to read at 7 am.

curly - yeah, a lot of the lines are very bad. You're right - it hasn't aged well.

I still wish I had the kind of bone structure that would look good with Janeane Garofalo's Bettie Page bangs.

Sheila -

Yeah, like the scene where Ben Stiller and Ethan Hawke have it out - and Ben Stiller's character is all inartriculate (saying "what is your GLITCH?") - I was TOTALLY rooting for Ben Stiller's character because I just could not STAND the arrogance of Ethan Hawke's character. Ew. I know people like that guy and they are only bearable for 1.2 seconds.

Also, what's with the random URL in Dean's stupid comment? Uhm - looks like spam URL to me.

Be a man, Dean. Don't be spammer scum!

I HATED the story line even the first time I watched it. Then again I was 25 years old and working in a nuclear submarine so I doubt I was the target audience. I saw my 18 year-old brother in the Ethan Hawke character, and thought, "Great, a movie that validates his lifestyle choice"... At least at that time, we all grow up eventually (at least most of us do)

sheila - I love the music in the film, actually. It's all very nostalgic - the stuff I grew up with.

er ... obviously not The Clancy Brothers, though. :)

I remember going out to dinner with my bride and a friend of hers from grad school whose husband was a student at Princeton Seminary. A very sweet couple. We were at a very nice italian restaurant in Collingswood and, several bottles of wine into the meal, starting chatting about recent movies, and I asked if they had seen the new movie "Reality Sucks"...

Oops.

I think everybody's right saying this film hasn't aged well - I liked it at the time, too, but now just find it annoying. That whole "I'm soooo cool I reserve the right to condescend to everyone and treat them like crap for not being as hip as me" makes me want to KILL now. If I recall, Ethan Hawke's character even had all the correct props - the Charles Bukowski book in hand to show how tortured and misunderstood he was, the unkempt slob look, etc.

Random: what kind of an idiot names their band "Hey That's My Bike"?

I remember Ebert's review, though I didn't read it until I was older and you're right, Sheila - he NAILED it. Stiller's character, the only one with a real job with a promising future, was painted as the "loser" because he didn't wear the right clothes or quote the right poets or feel like his genius was being repressed by the Man. Whatever. But like you said, it was written by a young man with a youthful world view. Naturally, the parents are stupid. Of course anyone who wears a suit to work and actually put their degree to use has sold out.

I also absolutely hate that scene where Winona Ryder throws the cigarette butt into Stiller's car, as if that's something he deserved for, again, by their standards, not being cool enough. Hello. You could have KILLED not only him, but yourselves and anyone else on the road. And then we're supposed to feel sorry for her because she doesn't have the money to pay for the damages? Screw her.

One more thing about Ryder - I think she pulled off the whole "angst-ridden teenager" thing pretty well because she was one herself at the time. When she graduated to more mature roles, she just couldn't pull it off. She was HORRIBLE in Dracula and Age of Innocence. I think it was only a combination of having friends in the business and a big enough name from her early work that carried her career so long.

But Janeane Garofalo's "you are IN THE BELL JAR" speech was brilliant.

I love that bell jar speech!!!

I liked Winona Ryder when she was a kid - I loved her in Lucas, and in Heathers - awesome. But ... ick. She got more and more unconvincing as the years went on - and I didn't understand why she kept getting great jobs. Obviously, "reality" has caught up with her now. Her career is pretty much over.

Oooh, but how awesome would it have been if the Clancy Brothers HAD been a part of the Reality Bites soundtrack?!

Hey, did you ever hear the CB's version of "Finnegan's Wake" where one of the Clancys reads an excerpt from the novel as the lead-in to the song? Amazing!

who is jay? his comment made me laugh so hard. "dean or whoever you are you are a total tool." jay's response was hysterical. Dean needs to take a breather from the ALL CAPS

I would also appreciate it if he would explain what an "Amerinazi" is. I've never heard of them.

I own this movie, but now, as is the theme here, can't stand it any more either.

I will always have a soft spot for Winona because of Heathers. Anyone involved in that movie gets a lot of leeway from me.

I liked Garofalo in this movie and in several others. But I liked her a lot more then than now and it's hard for me to watch her. Although, I agree about the Betty Page bangs, nice.

When is Steve Zahn not good? He has the added bonus of reminding me of a very good friend of mine. Same kind of facial expressions and everything. He can crack me up just by making a face (Zahn, that is).

While we're on the subject of disaffected grunge-era kids, how do you think Singles has aged?

siobhan -

Jay is hilarious, you are correct. hahahaha

cullen -

I love to meet people who actually know who Steve Zahn is and also recognize how amazing he is.

Have you seen Happy Texas?? SUCH a silly movie but so so funny. There's a scene where he, an inarticulate escaped convict with about 20 words in his vocabulary, finds himself having to randomly teach a small group of little girls a dance routine - You'll have to see the movie to find out why he is in that situation but I cry with laughter every time I see it. He has no idea what he is doing, and he is a big scary convict, but he is TERRIFIED of those little 6 year old girls.

Reality bites - I have only a vague recollection of watching the movie. I do remember being annoyed at it, I mean I always thought the point of getting a job was to be able to feed and clothe yourself and that was a good thing. I was only a couple years out of college at this point, I had a kid so I guess I wasn't the demographic. Not self involved enough I guess. Winona Ryder- is she on anyones list? Jeanine Garafolo has gone around the bend in the last couple of years, but she is consistently good in her movies. Ethan - how can you let Uma go, Dude you are not doing any better than her.

Singles - was that Bridget Fonda, Matt Dillon and Eddie Vedder? Again vaguely remember that one - I guess I don't have that slacker vibe

Emily - I wonder if he thinks I'm an Amerinazi?

Or - sorry - an AMERINAZI

kevin -

I know - I thought it was so awesome that right when that breakup with Ethan happened, Kill Bill Vol. 2 came out and I thought: well, she may be really bummed out right now, in her real life - but what GREAT REVENGE to have THAT movie come out at THAT time in her life. Where she's such a total gorgeous bad-ass!!

I own Happy Texas.

And Zahn is the second reason to watch Sahara (Penelope Cruz, of course, being the first). Otherwise, that movie stunk.

He's in so many things. What did you think of him in Shattered Glass?

Oh - he was great in that! I forgot about him in that!!! Yeah - the web editor that brought down The New Republic! I loved that movie.

His tour de force is in Driving In cars with boys - or whatever it was called. Not a great movie - but he is AMAZING in it.

I own Happy Texas as well. Love it. When they realize that they have to impersonate gay men ... it's just so damn hilarious. And Willian Macy as the bad-ass sheriff - weeping in his squad car - GENIUS!

I almost see the film as a nostalgia piece now, even though I'm pretty sure i'm still in the target demographic.

I totally agree, Stiller's character gets a raw deal in this film. He's lame and fumbling and kind of a tool, yes. Yet, I think in some way, he is vindicated. His last speech, in the street with Troy (Hawke), about the court jester, is great. "If everyone dies alone, who are you looking for out here?" Troy gets smacked upside the head by the hypocrisy of his own easy cynicism. And in the final scene, it's interesting that Troy's in a suit. He dresses to the occasion (his father's funeral), as an adult would. He grows up a little bit.

I kind of see this movie as being about growing up and realizing, hey, getting a job and not being broke are maybe good things. Garafalo's character certainly exemplifies this. She works at the Gap, for pete's sake--a hipster's nightmare. A balance can be struck. I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into the film, which could be as bad as so many folks think. But that's kind of how I see it.

One of the reasons I enjoy and defend the film is that it was filmed (and by all appearances, set) in my hometown of Houston. Which explains the disparity of accents, to some degree. Houston is the type of town where you have the hardcore southern folks with the heavy drawl, and the metropolitan/urban types with no noticeable accent. Hard to believe for you Northerners, I know, but we don't all ride horses and live in Southfork. ;- )

So there you go, my sixteen cents. Sorry, I ramble.

"You don't know what it's like having all these kids look at you expecting you to...know stuff."

William H. Macy is firmly in my top 10 actors of all time. I am unabashadly a fan of the movie Mystery Men and think his performance in that is hilarious and great.

I don't think I've seen Driving in Cars..., not my kind of flick. But I may watch it now, knowing that Zahn's in it. Last night About a Boy was on USA and I watched the last bit of it. I can't stand Grant, but I saw that Rachel Weiss was in it and I love her, soooo ...

Upcoming project with Zahn (according to IMDb) is Bandidas starring him, Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek. Methinks it'll be a hit.

by the by, well done on the appreciation of Steve Zahn (have you seen "That Thing You Do"? He's so great in that movie!), William H. Macy, and "Shattered Glass".

And Cullen, I think I would walk barefoot on a mile of broken glass for Rachel Weisz. No, seriously, I think I would. Would certainly consider it.

Teacher Dave - That's why I think that scene with Ethan Hawke on the sidewalk is so effective. He has been chastened - as we all need to be (just a little bit) if we want to grow up.

Also, Dave - I can't stand the stereotype that us Northerners have you all down there as stereotypes. That's too easy as well, and as intellectually lazy as the other kind of stereotyping. It's a different kind of elitism but it sure exists - I've experienced a ton of it on my blog, from Southerners who make all these assumptions about me because of the region of the country I am from.

My point is: Winona doesn't even sound like she comes from the same FAMILY. Maybe she worked hard to rid herself of the accent - but that was never made clear if that was the case.

I think the parents were given over-blown Southern accents as a telegram to the audience: "These people are BAD".

But I like your thoughts on the movie - I can certainly see that. We all go through (or many of us go through) a kind of flailing about after college - especially if you want to be something creative, or artistic. It's hard to find your way. The high-flying idealistic bubble of college is broken. Like - I was a theatre major in college. I spent 24 hours of every day in the theatre, working, acting, talking about acting, practicing my craft, learning, rehearsing ... The real world, where I had to actually slog around looking for a job, was quite a dash of cold water!! We all have to find our way through that transition time.

Dave - God - That Thing You do - of course!!! Another one I forgot he was in!! I love that movie!

Cullen -

Yeah, Riding in Cars with Boys is such a chick flick that ... even I had a hard time getting through it!!!

But he gives an unbelievable performance - completely under-rated - He transforms. It's not one of his comedic roles. So so good - you'd never know it was the same guy in all his other movies.

I looooooove About a Boy. I think it's Hugh Grant's best work.

What about Toni Colette as the suicidal hippie mom? So good!!

Not being an artistic type - the transition was just as shocking - I mean if beer drinking was a marketable skill, then I was prepared but actual work experience - egads, real world skills - nope. Luckily you get points for showing up everyday in the real world - I do miss the drinking in college - it was so cheap - $2 pitchers, $10 bucks and you were set, now I pay $4 a beer. Yikes I am Tool

Cullen -

I am in complete agreement wiht you about William Macy.

I think his performance in Fargo is up there with Marlon Brando's performance as Stanely Kowalski in terms of its iconic status - and it's ... I think it's one of those very rare high-water marks for other actors.

It throws down a challenge. Can you top this??

Kevin -

HAHAHAHAHA

Emily - just noticed your line from Happy Texas and burst into laughter -

How about when Jeremy Northam comes home from his "date" with "Chappy" - and Steve Zahn is slogging over the sewing machine like a begrieved housewife ...

hahahahahahahaha

I love William Macy - he is always so good. My problem is I don't get to see enough movies - he was even good in Jurassic Park 3 (as was Tea Leoni - who is very reliable though I think she is playing herself a lot - though I could be wrong).

Tea Leoni - love her. She has a new movie coming out with Jim Carrey - haven't heard any advance word about it, which might be a bad sign!

"...the outcome will be a surprise to anyone who has never seen a movie before."

While I hardly always agree with him, sometimes Ebert's writing is just absolutely UNTOUCHABLE. I can't even say how much I love this one line.

And, embarassment to Gen X though I may be to say so, I've still never even seen this movie, but the overall impression that I'm getting is that, for the most part, Reality Bites bites.

dave j - hahahaha that is a great line from Ebert!!

Best "flailing about after college" movie: "Kicking and Screaming".

Chris Eigeman ... LOOOOOOVE!!!

"What about Toni Colette as the suicidal hippie mom? So good!!"

That's Miss Granola Suicide to you...

And what about Steve Zahn's character in Happy Texas being named "Wayne Wayne Wayne Junior"? WTF?

And once he starts getting into the paegent...strutting around in those high-heeled shoes..."because I've got my weight in my hip...my hip!"

Sheila - And let's not forget St. Elmo's Fire!!! Classic cheesy post-college angst.

"Let's talk about ... your ... extracurricular ... lovelife."

Speaking of offensive stereotypes: I wrote about this before, but I was a 21 year old virgin when I saw that film - and I was PISSED that the virgin in the film dressed like a Mennonite. I was quite fashionable, and dressed very well, and I was like: So ... she's a virgin, so that means she doesn't have access to fashion magazines?

Another kind of obnoxious shorthand.

Virgin = wool stockings and long Amish skirts.

Of course.

emily - I am shaking with laughter.

HAHAHAHAHAHA Yes - I just love how he ends up getting SO committed to those little girls. hahahahahahahahahaha

And as he's dragged off to jail, he's still yelling out instructions on the choreography - So funny!!!!

And back to About a Boy - I love when Hugh Grant calls her a "daft fucking hippie" in the restaurant - hahahaha

Tea Leoni, Rachel Weisz, Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek all mentioned in the same thread. I think we have acheived some kind of commenting Nirvana.

Sheila, funny thing about Fargo, I hated it. I love like EVERY actor in the movie, thought the performances were amazing, but there was just nothing there to latch on to for me.

I tell you the Macy performance I adore, is the made-for-TV Hallmark flick he did Door to Door. Amazing. And The Cooler. Wow. With Maria Bello (we've now reached the heights of Olympus in Nirvana).

Or when he's giving Jeremy Northam's character the abandoned wife speech about how he's out every night, dancing with the Sheriff, while poor Wayne's left at home trying to figure out which stitch is best to sew on sparkly hearts...I really think this is one of the most under-appreciated comedies ever.

I think that restaurant scene is one of the best in About a Boy

"I'm bloody Ibiza!"

cullen -

Oh my God. Door to Door. Holy shit - isn't that a GREAT movie????? I have tears in my eyes.

You know who also kills me in that movie - besides Helen Mirren? Kathy Baker. What a lovely sad-eyed actress.

I'm all teary-eyed now. What a wonderful movie.

St. Elmo's fire - our generations Big Chill - spare me - I mean the best part of the movie the mother of Mare Winningham - whispering cancer. That Rob Lowe gives her a mercy F***. I mean what was she thinking - as Britney is finding out, if he already has children by another woman that he's not married - he is not a keeper. Not to mention what disease he may or may not be sharing. the whole Judd nelson over acting and Andrew McCarthy underacting - and Emilio - after Repo Man his charm was???? Demi Moore mystifies me and Ally Sheedy - she is nice enough but 2 guys lusting after her - I don't see it.

I found The Cooler to be even more amazing because, story-wise, there isn't a ton there, but the amazing performances fill up the screen and as the credits roll, you're left wanting more. I even liked Alec Baldwin in it and I've grown to despise him.

Also in The Cooler, Paul Sorvino ... wow! When does Paul Sorvino not deliver? Which makes me think about Mira Sorvina ... what the hell is she doing now?

I think she's given up acting. I read that somewhere.

Kevin -

I don't think she slept with him because she thought he would marry her. I didn't see it as a mercy Fuck at all. She got to lose her virginity with someone she loved, and someone who she felt a connection with. He gave her a gift. She'll never forget it - it will always be a good memory for her.

Her other path in life was the passionless path provided by that other "boyfriend" - the one set up for her by her parents. It would have been a sterile life for her - through her connection with wild-boy Rob Lowe (in his ridiculous leg warmers) she got to break free of a life that doesn't suit her. She is a repressed scared woman. He ushers her into womanhood - not to be goofy, but that's what I got out of it.

I don't know - I thought it was great.

I mean, honestly: the movie is cheesy beyond belief. But it is one of my guiltiest pleasures. The clothes!!!! Rob Lowe's clothes and hair! Delicious!

Emily -

totally under-rated comedy. I couldn't believe it when I first rented it - I was like: this is absolutely HILARIOUS.

How about Ileana Douglas? hahahaha And his kind of blasphemous prayer before the competition? And she's looking at him, and she's kind of shocked, but also turned on ...

So funny!

Okay, according to IMDb, Mrs. Sorvino has some projects coming up and has done some stuff recently, just nothing I've seen. Pity, 'cause she's cool.

I love how there are some really heavy things going on in the world right now, but I can't pull myself away from commenting on how cool and underrated Steve Zahn is and how much I miss watching movies with Mira Sorvino in them and how much Reality Bites.

I have a shameful admission, I have never seen St. Elmo's Fire.

However, Kevin mentions Repo Man and that is one of my all-time favorites.

cullen -

It is nice to escape for a while, isn't it, and discuss St. Elmo's Fire as though it is IMPORTANT?

It is SUCH a guilty pleasure - the clothes alone are worth the price of admission.

But I maintain my annoyance that the virgin had to be so badly dressed. I remember being all huffy about it with my friends when we saw it (and I was the only virgin in the bunch). "I'm a virgin and I don't dress like I'm Amish -what is her PROBLEM??"

Well if you look at it that way..... then it makes sense and is probably what was happening.

It was a movie that tried very hard to make a statment and it fell short, but they all had great clothes and hair (Accept Mare) and were still living the college life but with actual money (until the end where they all grew up)

so maybe it made a statement - you have to grow up (unless your Rob Lowe - they you can remain a kid and will always be forgiven)

Kevin - yes, you will always be forgiven, because you wear leg warmers and one earring and play saxophone in a cheesy bar band ... hahahaha it's so RIDICULOUS!!!

Ally Sheedy's multiple strands of pearls threaten to overwhelm the whole film.

Emily -

Also from About a Boy:

Toni Colette and Hugh Grant are in the car racing to the concert.

She's upset. "Will ... am I a bad mother?"

He, annoyed, "No, no. You're not a bad mother." Pause. "You're just a barking lunatic."

so Rob gets on the bus, moves to new york because there are not enough Sax players with earings and leg warmers (god they were the rage for a minute) and realizes that hey I suck. Goes to Law school and ends up in the West Wing. Now Aaron Sorkin or whoever does the west wing now, should have had Judd Nelson do one of those cameos as chief of staff or something and Andrew McCarthy be a reporter, just to close the Temporal disturbance caused by Rob Lowe. Just a thought.

I miss the Lair of the White Worm-era Hugh Grant.

this is my sister's second favorite movie, behind Dirty Dancing. this fact alone has made me question whether we're actually related.

beth - hahahahahaha

Nobody puts Baby in a corner, and that's all I will say on that matter.

Sheila,
And after the granola suicide attempt, when he's driving the kid to the hospital. "It was horrible. HORRIBLE." And you think for a moment, the guy might really have a soul. Then he says "but getting to drive fast behind the ambulance was really cool!"

And I don't know if you've seen it from the deleted scenes on the DVD, but there's this one part they cut out, and I have NO IDEA why, because it's one of the funniest moments in the film. When Will is going to buy the car seat for "Ned" and he's sort of looking over the different types, a sales clerk comes up to help him and explain the different models and their safety features and he says "oh, safety is no object. I just want the cheapest one" and she gives him this look like he's the most terrible human that has ever lived. It was hysterical. I will never understand directors and the things they throw away.

"safety's no object" - hahahahahahahahahahahaha

I only have the VHS - I'll have to check out the DVD - There's just something about that movie. I just really like it.

The kid's silly rainbow knit sweater - you just know he's doomed!

emily - right - hahahahahaha

But yeah - the look on Hugh Grant's face when he sees her all passed out - and he says, "Where's a phone, Marcus" - and he's all urgent - and yet gentle - it's just a FLASH of his humanity -

Kinda just GETS ya.

But then too how he makes the inappropriate joke in the emergency room about having a sleepover wiht the hot single mum - hahaha - and everyone looks really uncomfortable -

And I love Marcus' "girlfriend". hahaha The scary girl with the mohawk who ends up being kind of sweet.

And Rachel's son, when he freaks out "She's not keen on him! She's only keen on MEEEEEEEE!"

Oh God, that kid is so good. He is truly DEVASTATED about his mother dating. hahahahaha

Believe it or not - that Marcus kid has grown up to be a pretty adorable teenager. He was in The Weatherman and I couldn't believe it - he's very cute!

Uh...WOWZAAA!

U guyz = teh cradle robbers.

Hey, I didn't say I wanted to do him or anything. Just that he's shaping up so that I might want to do him in ten years time or so.

you know that line- "you're on the fast track to loserville usa just like him"?... um, who's "him"?