Here is yet another one of the old "expert essays" I received the last time I did this. (If you feel like you're an expert in anything, and if any of these essays spark up some ideas - send them on to me at redhead2@sheilaomalley.com. Description of the project here)
This one makes me laugh.
EXPERT ESSAY: Hey-the-Irish-Relatives-Are-In-Town tour of New York City,
by Anne
My Irish relatives come to visit me from time to time, and I have, through trial and error, established a plan of attack for the city. This tour is really geared toward Irish people, who have certain things they need to do and see in New York, many of them involving the Kennedys, but it may work for others as well.
These are the highlights:
1) The "You're in New York now, baby" opening move. I always get tickets for some shocking play or other, often involving nakedness. This makes the Irish relatives feel like they've really left their small town behind. I took one batch or other to the Vagina Monologues (back when they were new), and I remember going to some show or other about a very large woman who posed as an artist's model, who was naked onstage for most of the performance.
2) The Jackie O mini-tour, in which I point out her apartment building at 1040 Fifth Avenue; pass by Loyola and/or St Thomas More, the Kennedy family churches; duck into the park to give them a brief glance at the Reservoir, where she used to run every morning (adding that hey, I used to run there too, in high school); and show them the apartment building where I once ran into her in 1982.
3) The John Jr mini-tour, usually involving brunch at Bubby's and tales of my many sightings of him. I also breathlessly recount the one time I spoke to him on the phone.
4) The obligatory St Patrick's Cathedral visit.
5) The Tenement Museum and/or Ellis Island, so we get to see how much it sucked to be an immigrant.
6) The Woodside/Sunnyside pub crawl, always featuring a stop at The Kilmegan on Roosevelt Avenue, where they invariably run into people who know my uncle Owen.
7) A visit to my favorite non-Irish bar, where they will buy everyone drinks, making themselves and me very popular for years to come.
8) At least one restaurant with really spicy food, so they can say, "I didn't know food could be this hot."
And, tacked on at the end, everything else you're supposed to do as a tourist in NYC.
--- by Anne C