The Sheila Variations

http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2006/01/gfy_breast_poli.html

I think the second paragraph has just about made my week. That is all I have to say.

Oh, man, sorry Sheila.

There is such amazing empowerment when you just click "Delete"!! Ahhh. I started to argue with one of them and then realized: Uhm. Life is WAY too short. Delete!!

I don't understand how I didn't realize that our conversation about Drew's boobs would cause this kind of result.

And - if you recall - I was very PRO Drew's boobs. we have the same body type, the same body issues, and I am more likely to see beauty in her - because of my own issues. I was PRO Drew's boobs and here I get lectured by these jagoffs about how shallow I am.

Idiots.

Cullen - i know, right?? hahahahah totally wacky. It's always something really weird that brings people to my site. I wrote a piece about Kurt Cobain's daughter back in July of 2003 - It still gets traffic, maybe 10 or 20 clicks A DAY ... and I still get CRAZY emails from CRAZY people insisting that Courtney killed Kurt and yadda yadda. It's like ... I wish my founding fathers stuff got this much traffic!!

"I wish my founding fathers stuff got this much traffic!!"

And they accuse you of being shallow? Crazy world. Crazy, crazy world.

I dunno - I have problems with people who slag on others' blogs anyway - I mean, it's not like anyone's holding a gun to their heads and insisting they read it, and it's not even like they're paying for the content.

BTW, I loved the "Archie Leach Day" posts...I must rent the Cary Grant movies I've not seen yet.

Did you get my e-mail? The Fug Girls are ON IT.

I especially love the people who come in and decide on the basis of one friggin' blog entry that they have deep insight into your entire persona. Dude, the whole blog represents 1% of my life. Imagine how much one entry means.

I really wish you would have left them though, Sheila. It would have been fun giving them hell.;)

Yes, it would have potentiall been fun. We could have, perhaps, started a whole "Drew Barrymore's Boobs ... FECK YEAH!" thing. That'd show 'em. I wallow in my multifaceted shallowness.

Leaving the "y" off of potentially ... FECK YEAH!

Another thing - the best thing about Eurosnobbery? They (and I mean EuroSNOBS not all Europeans) usually don't get the ironic hypocrisy. They'll draw all these generalizations about Americans based on what they've learned from "I Love Lucy" re-runs and then call US ignorant.

It's like the time one of my step-mother's friends that was visiting from Bonn kept going on about how "unsophisticated" Americans and their ways were. Um, isn't visiting another country and complaining that the culture and customs are different from where you come from just about the most bloody unsophisticated thing you can do?

obviously she doesn't need my back-up...but...my dear friend Sheila(20 years and running) is probably the smartest, most intuitive and genuinely interesting, fascinating person in this often bleak and beige-colored world..and if she feels like standing up for Drew's boobs...then I for one can't wait to take that trolley to Shallow-land...because i promise you, its never really a shallow place at all...its a launching pad to any number of juicy HUMAN topics and an invitation for other smart and funny people to exchange ideas, theories and the occasional hilarious quip. Okay..my rant is over...good morning to all the amazing people that Sheila's aura has brought together.

Emily - I remember you telling that story. Man ... so obnoxious!

And yeah - ignorant!!

Also: they ASSUMED I was American. I didn't write that Golden Globes post saying: "Hi, I'm an American and here are my thoughts on the Golden Globes".

They assumed that all my commenters were American, too -

"To all you Americans in these comments ..."

etc.

Mitchell - my favorite moment from our phone conversation last night was you saying, with such conviction: "DON'T Google me from Ghana."

Oh, and thanks for your lovely words, dear friend. Much much love to you.

ha..or if u are gonna google me from Ghana(i love illiteration)..then be NICE about it...beyotch!

I DON'T need a lecture from someone in Chad!

Another thing that bugs me is people that assume just because you take an interest in shallow things like Tom Cruise making an enormous ass of himself means that you are entirely shallow as a whole. Sure, I had fun watching Couchman and the Apeshit World Tour, but I also went home and read some Thomas Hardy and watched a documentary about George III, m'kay?

teehee...maybe not... but how about a spanking from someone named Chad??!!! oh lard...i'm projecting again...oops/

Well, Chad Lowe IS single now so maybe it could happen!!

Emily - hahahaha

That's like the infamous moment when someone got mad at me for writing about James Joyce in the middle of Abu Gharib.

They thought I didn't give a shit about Abu Gharib because I wrote about Joyce.

People are so WEIRD. I would just ... NEVER do that to another blogger. So so bizarre.

You assume my blog is my entire life????? How WEIRD!!

Emily..its back to my biggest pet peeve!!! The type of person who says thing like "i dont even own a tv". These people mostly live in VT..well not Montpelier..but i digress. Well...sister..i DO own a tv and I watch A LOT of it and im still better read, better socialized and a more charming dinner party guest than you and ur birkenstocks(which i own as well)and unkempt hair and unfortunately hairy upper lip will ever be...so there! wow...im a little keyed up this morning.

Mitchell, I love it when you go off on the sanctimonious Vermont-living ex-hippies who give you shit.

I have loved Chad Lowe since Sandi and I used to huddle under a blanket on wintry Rhode Island Sundays and weep copiously at the family trials and tribulations on Life Goes On. Oh Becca..we hardly knew ye...o-blah-dee o-blah-dah indeed.

Way crazier than ex-hippies are those who never stopped being hippies and raised hippy offspring in their own little village.

oy..they make me nuts..just because u dropped out of civilization in the 70's..doesnt mean that the culture stopped at the point where u checked out...of course there is lots of crazy shite going on..but also amazing things tos ee and experience every day...that said ive spent the last 3 summers traveling all over that beautiful part of the country..i love it..but lay off me when i go to pary at St. Arbucks in Burlington!!!

Oh gawd, the TV snobs. "I only watch PBS." Whatever. I hate people that brag that they don't need silly distractions to escape every now and then - it's a perfectly healthy normal human condition to want to forget about the more profound burdens of life and just watch Johnny Depp swing on a rope while trying to escape from the Royal Navy. I LIKE to laugh. I like to forget for a couple of hours, pretentious, poncy jerk off.

is it wrong to want a little of both? I want Dels' lemonade(ask a Rhode Islander) on Narragansett beach in my cut-off jean shorts AND a fabulous triple dirty Martini at the W hotel lounge on Lake Shore Drive with my Prada shoes...sue me.

Wow, Mitchell - your Life Goes On memory pre-dates your move to Chicago. Jackie and I would have these Sunday night Life Goes On rituals ... we would go eat at My Pie, and then go back to her place and watch, and cry, and laugh, and talk. GREAT SHOW.

sing it sister Emily!!!

Well said, Emily. But anything shallow can just as easily not be. I mean, everything's the human condition in one way or another. Something doesn't have to try to be poignant to be meaningful.

Sheila, why don't you post of few of their lame comments and let us rip them apart? I mean, just in one or two posts. Come on, do it for the team!

On second thought, why not start a separate blog on which you post their comments and then we can all have fun with them? I am more than willing to be the ugly American if that is what my nation is calling me to do.

Then again, we might ask ourselves, WWBFD? (What Would Ben Franklin Do?)

when Jesse was dealing with AIDS...well...im crying now...in fact i think he won aan Emmy?

Patrick..that is funny!! Like a feeding frenzy.

Patrick - No. Because here's the deal: I try to cultivate an atmosphere here. I don't like people to pick on each other, or attack each other ... I delete comments of people I LIKE, for God's sake. I have seen what happens when blogs get overrun by stuff like that - and maybe for some bloggers it's not a big deal - but for me it is.

If the VIBE on a blog is a generally open-season all bets are off vibe, full of snark and attacks ... then it would become that much more difficult to control the atmosphere when I post my more personal stuff.

I will say this, though:

One of the Euro-Turds had, as his screenname: "Natural Lover".

That pretty much says it all.

Mitchell - I remember one fantastic episode when Becca really let loose and went out and did a turkey bowl?? do you remember that???

I think Chad Lowe did win an Emmy. He was just fantastic in that part.

//just because u dropped out of civilization in the 70's..doesnt mean that the culture stopped at the point where u checked out//

hahahahaha

That is so spot on!!

oh my..yes i do! Do u remember Kenny B.'s hilarious imitation of Corky?????????

Chad and Hill are trying to work it out, so you might wanna back off there, Mitchell. Don't be like Jerry and Elaine trying to break up Debra Messing and Cary Elwes. ;)

TV snobs don't bug me as bad as parenting snobs. I mentioned to my friend that Hayden was wanting a certain hoodie from Abercrombie for Christmas and she IMMEDIATELY went into this DIATRIBE about how "materialistic" kids are today and ISN'T IT HORRIBLE how SOME parents will sacrifice PARENTING for PURCHASING, blah blah blah.

I bought him two.

I totally understand, Sheila.

"Natural Lover" haha. Yeah, I guess no more needs to be said.

Oh Lisa. Wow. That is just ... I have heard parenting stories like that from my friends who are parents and it always just BLOWS ME AWAY.

Such nosy busybodies! Who elected them God of Parenting??

Patrick - right? LIke - only a JACKASS would have a screenname like that. It's like: his condescension is IN his screen name.

Ew.

"Natural Lover". What does that MEAN? That you only have sex in hay and don't bathe afterwards?

I'm confused.

Lisa..i know..my sister gets shit because her son loves Disney movies and wrestling...sorry..he loves them...he also loves to dance and listen to class 70's soul music..he's six..give them both a break!! The whole debate about when and how long to let baby's cry..i think its Ferber-izing?? or something..thats a topic thats gets the parenting snobs in a panty-twist!! People NEED their method to be validated about everything or the whole thing tumbles like a house of cards!!! How strong can a belief be if my diagreeing or behaving in a contrary manner threatens it sooooo much???? oy..gay marriage anyone???

Lisa - I have no idea. Some condescending bull crap!!

how did i go from Disney movies to gay marriage??? i need to get out of the house!

I love when Sheila's comment threads get like this.

Mitchell - a blogger named Vodka Pundit just had a baby with his wife.

They had the baby in early December, I guess. First of all, the announcment post of the birth was filled with comments of unasked for advice.

Second of all - on New Year's Eve, he posted a picture of his gorgeous wife, and she was holding a glass of wine.

The OUTRAGE that she would be drinking ... so soon after the birth ...

I couldn't even read the comments. Maybe she chose not to breastfeed? Maybe she pumped her milk that day?

Lastly: IT'S NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS, people.

Unbelievable.

It comes out of insecurity or something - people NEED to have their own lifestyle choices validated by everybody - but it's only because they are insecure. It's like they look at someone doing something differently and they don't have the self-awareness to say, "Huh. I don't do it that way." They say: "WHY AREN'T YOU DOING IT THE WAY I DO IT????"

or does "Natural Lover" imply that he's (or she's) a "natural" at the love making process..in that case...ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww...altho come to think of it..didnt "natural" mean "retarded"(literally) in Shakespeare's time??? even better!!!

Mitchell,

You're so shallow.

Just like all Americans.

I think it's perfect to go from Disney to gay marriage - seeing as how Disney is so pro-gay.

/sarcasm

his condescension is IN his screen name.

bwahahahah! That is fantastic. I'm going to change my screen name to Shallow Hal and ask questions like: Why aren't you watching American Idol, Dave?

the pressure that pregnant women and new moms are under from self righteous bitches is out of control!!! ladies..ladies..be kind to each other..the species has lasted for many a millenia..a glass of wine is not going to bring down human evolution in one sip!!! Let the poor woman get her drink on!

You know, normally I wouldn't spend that much on a hoodie, considering he's 12 and grows right before your very eyes.

But he's 12 and just like when we ALL were 12, we want what everybody else has. He wanted this sweatshirt, and I bought it for him. It didn't break us. As far as I know, no Cambodian children's fingers didn't fall off from sewing it. So what business was it of hers?

Parenting snobs are the worst. I liked to tweak them when the boys were little, saying stuff like, "Oh, I don't know if he wakes up in the night. I sleep with earplugs in and the door shut." or "I bottle-feed so I can drink."

cullen - hahahahahaha

Lisa - hahahaha

Member that awesome post on Chez Miscarriage (I miss her!) about "mommy drive-bys"?

im glad to be shallow...i have the depth of an envelope...i make Tara Reid look like Desmond Tutu!! Hooray!

I miss her too. Some days I want to send her a little whispering e-mail, "I miiiissss youuuuu."

But she might have me arrested.

Sheila,
I remember those photos at Vodkapundit. She looked beaming and beautiful...and who the eff said she got bombed on wine? Did anyone ever consider that was like...the one and only glass she had that night? Doctors tell women that are pregnant that it's okay to drink a glass of wine from time to time.

And the unsolicited advice - er, don't give it if they don't ask for it. Stephen and his wife are smart enough people. I imagine they looked into the whole parenting thing before the baby was born.

Lisa - hahaha. I remember when I was a kid and we were living in Germany, the local AFN radio station would run news at the top of every hour. They had beeps that corresponded with the time. At night, there would be this announcement: "At the sound of the last tone, it will be ten o'clock in Central Europe. Do you know where your children are?"

Huh? Oh yeah, they're down at the local bar getting wasted with some smelly guys that just escaped from East Germany.

Lisa..that is freakin' brilliant! Ive been a troupe director for a large touring youth circus for three years...i love when people tell me how to do it... i say things like..."by the way..do u know where the twins are?? I havent seen them since Newport"...or" i sent little Timmy out to get me cigs."

Mitchell - BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh man, Emily ... we had this great "do you know where your kids are" commercial in Okinawa. These two teens were out drinking a girl and a guy. The girl hears something and turns to the guy and says, "Run John! It's the Japanese police!" A Japanese police officer shows up and says in horribly broken Engrish, "Do ... your parlents ... know ... where ... you are?"

Nobody who lived in Okinawa forgets "Run John!"

smoke 'em if u got 'em kids..now GET on that trapeze and SWING!!!!!!

I completely agree with you, Sheila, and would like to add that I think "Euro-Turds" is my new favorite phrase. Well done.

It was a toss-up between Euro-turd and Euro-TARD. I went with turd.

Wouldn't that be Euro-Tahd?

hahahahahaha In Rhode Island, it most definitely would be "tahd"

What am I, the 70th comment?

All this about Boobs, Tits, and Drew Barrymore, and whatnot, and I'm around # 70?!!

Dammit..I've become responsible...what is this 'work' thing supposed to be, anyway??

-Wuuut

P.S. Boobies. Gotta love boobies. :P

I was wondering when you would show up!!

Always remember, you can't have responsiblity without boobies.

can i be gay and love boobies??? I do..i love them..i love boobies!

Mitchell, I think EVERYONE should be able to appreciate Boobies. They're like Pan Fried Dumplings from the Chinese Joint. You can't think of a SINGLE thing that you can regret when eating them. At least, I know I can't.

Red: Sorry I'm late. I'm amused at the thought of a Wutzizname summoning...an altar piled high with pan Fried dumplings...scores of topless women all hopping on their tippy-toes in Private school plaid, Nurse's Outfits, and French Maid outfits chanting my name over and over, with high priestesses dressed like Rachel True, Lisa Nicole Carson, and...Princess Ardala...

...I think I need a glass of water....s'cuse me folks...

thanks for the permission,man! now i can enjoy my naked pics of Steve McQueen AND Scarlett Johanssen at pretty much every Hollywood event! She's racktastic!

I will never EVER forgive you for introducing the word "racktastic" on my blog.

Damn you.

She's also melonriffic.

dont wanna embarrass u Red...but ur pretty racktastic urself!!!! NOTE...this comment was written by a very dear homosexual friend of our lovely webhost and has no lecherous or misogynist over or under tones! So relax boys ( and girls)!!

melonriffic is bullshit!!! oh btw...in my world.."Bullshit" is the highest compliment of one's comic output.

It can't compete with racktastic, but one tries.

mitchell,

Here's one of my favorite memories of all time.

Before performing at Summer Fest. We all gathered in a little circle backstage at the massive Miller Lite arena ... and, kind of joking around, we did a little prayer in a circle - like Madonna does before every show.

Now - I couldn't help myself - but I said my prayer a little bit seriously.

"God ... thank you so much for this opporutnity ... we are all having so much fun ... and thank you to Pat McCurdy the man who made it all possi---"

Pat interrupted me, and stated bluntly, "Sheila, you are stacked."

He hadn't been listening to a word I said!

I still laugh when I think of that.

OH and yes. Mitchell and I have a secret language.

Briefly:

"bullshit" means "genius!"

"You are SUCH an asshole" means (in certain contexts) "You are so funny that I don't know what to do with myself."

Basically, if we berate you after you make a joke - we think you're funny!!!

a small anecdote re: the euro-turd/tard contingent:

a good friend of mine was at a rooftop brooklyn 4th of july party. this will be important later.

being a cosmopolitan crowd, there were a couple of english fellas there, and this was when the euro was still being tossed about, before it had been adopted.

remember, this is the 4th of july.

he was asked his opinion about the economic repurcussions and he said disinterestedly, "ah, we rule the world, we don't deal with local skirmishes like that."

Pat is so good with words! and yes..thanks Sheila for clarifying to Cullen my appreciative use of bullshit!

hahahaha I remember that story - was that Liam??

no, matt harris, an absolutely hilarious guy who was at liam's birthday party last year.

OH, I remember him. That is so funny how he just blew off the whole euro controversy - hahahahahahaha

hey bren..sorry to talk about ur sister's boobies!

well, gay people are traditionally very shallow mitchell, so i forgive you.

just to shift gears ENTIRELY...would the world be in such an uproar about brokeback mountain if it was rupert everett and alan cumming in those roles? or do you have to be straight to get huge props for playing gay?

Of course not. The big deal is that two huge straight movie stars would risk their reputations to have gay sex on screen.

However: Alan Cumming couldn't play a grizzled taciturn cowboy if he tried.

Actually, I'd like to see him try. It might be pretty funny.

Thank you!!! Its the old thing about playing murderers and facists being okay but if u play gay... somehow its brave!!! that said...Allen Cummings isnt necessarily someone who the general public projects sexual feelings towards..while "str8" Hlooywood hunks are velcro for the American public...Rupert Everett..now he can do anything he wants! raaawwwrrr!

Rupert Everett can do whatever he wants, except I must insist that he never act with Madonna again.

i think Brendan and Wentworh Miller should have been cast...actaully that would be hot! FYI...Brendan is a fox!

If Madonna's acting was banned in as many states in this country as gay marriage...we'd be closer to Utopia than Armegeddon!

thank you mitchell. as far as rupert goes, i think he should have been the next bond. that would be hilarious. and i also find the madonna movie to be the most embarassing thing...wow. i sort of hated her from that moment on. i was always on the fence but i hiddly-ate her now.

she's looks so desperate..her new video is beautifully shot and cool but genuch is genuch...we KNOW! U have a tight ass at 132 years old!! We get it. Its like Jane Fonda in the eighties..before she "retired".

not ashamed to admit that i laughed when i found out she broke her collarbone falling off a horse. what an idiot. she probably had on a stupid round pointy horse riding hat and was carried to a table shaded by a parasol to drink some spirits. "guy, i need a biscuit and some jam, i've broken my arm! alert the media!"

as far as me being in brokeback mountain, would a potbelly have ruined it for you?

for me? definitely..but not for a large chunk of the gay population..they would think its hot!

shallow is as shallow does

now i can enjoy my naked pics of Steve McQueen

Where did you get those?

Brendan,
Hahahaha. That's hilarious. I can even hear her saying it with that annoying fake accent.

OK was WONDERING why my filter wouldn't let me to your site. Dirty girl, or rather Dirty and hypocritical searchers! I still don't know what you said about Drew.

Will investigate.

well, i only care about you so i'll start working out for the sequel "hoof prints on my favorite shirt"

Patrick..a friend gave me a cool photo book of Steve McQueen...a str8 guy friend...i really like Mc Queen's movies and he knew it..so im flipping thru and there is a pic of McQueen holding his doodad...well,dude..thats a gay homerun!

thanks Bren! Ill make u into a gay icon..we are very loyal..we love Teddy Thompson..he's cute, talented and loves the gay..just like u!!!

crimminy..im gonna shut up..i swear im gay gay gay today!!!!!

I will never get the phrase and there is a pic of McQueen holding his doodad out of my mind. I believe I will use it to fill uncomfortable silences in conversation.

"Well, um... so..."

"Well, there is a pic of McQueen holding his doodad."

DAMN. IT. I got to lunch and we're on Brokeback Mountain? AND boobies? I weep.

I heart Rupert Everett, but I think he's had some work done. He's looking a little "alert" these days.

Mitchell, I need to have that book.

lisa - hahahaha "alert" Yup. That's the first sign. Perpetual alertness.

it urs babe..and its hot!!! I dont care what ones sexual preference is to date...McQueen with his weiner out is universally exciting!

i do love the gays. how great are gay people? every single one of them. i'm running for president on the "straights for gays" platform. sort of like "jews for jesus" only...

ok, i have to stop.

ahahahahahahhaa!!!!! oh dont get me started on the jews for jesus..ur an asshole!!!

That group is freaky. A freaky cult.

Thx Mitchell.

Brendan, wouldn't it be great to have a "gentiles for everybody" platform.

as long as it's not "enemy of the people"-just-spent-9-months-smoking-maryjane-eating-kitkats-dipped-in-marshmallow-fluff-not-shaving-ranting-about-conspiracy-theories-while-talking-a-mile-a-minute-how-i-used-to-be-able-to-ride-my-motorbike-real-fast-like-but-it-broke-the-last-time-i-sat-on-it mcqueen. i don't want to see that guy's doodad. now, bullitt, ok.

oh no..he's young and cute..having it ALL!

So this was before or after he forced Ali McGraw to descend into house-bound love-slave status? Or whatever the hell was going on there?

Love McQueen.

Changed your comment. Hilarious.

Didn't he like chain her up in a house or something like that?

I have no idea. My knowledge of Steve McQueen encompasses his movies and that he was a student of Bruce Lee, briefly.

I didn't know that about Bruce Lee! Cool!

Oh man, Bruce Lee was, for a time, THE hollywood martial arts instructor. The most famous student to seriously pursue martial arts (to the point of becoming a recognized Jeet Kune Do expert) from Bruce Lee was Kareem Abdul Jabar.

Ok, in my head, Sheryl Crow is screaming, "Like STEVE. . .McQUEEN. . ."

Please make it stop.

I wrote a thing on Steve McQueen. Of course I did. Here it is.

That's why Kareem was cast in one of his movies. Although he looked kind of awkward in that fight scene. Too bad Inosanto never became a star.

From Drew's boobs to Kareem Abdul Jabar.

awwwwwwwwesome.

Without one mention of a John Hughes movie, though. We're slipping.

Game of Death was originally meant to be the most direct film application of Lee's personal martial arts philosophy. The idea was to progressively fight stronger villians -- and by stronger, Lee meant those who are not too rooted in form and style. That's why Jabar's fight scene was longer and the fight more difficult for Lee.

It was supposed to culminate in a fight between another of Lee's students. There is cut footage. If you buy the Bruce Lee boxed set, there is a documentary with a lot of the clips.

The finished Game of Death is now almost a parody of what the movie was supposed to be. A Lee look-alike was hired to do all the acting. Any fight scene with him in a helmet wasn't him. Only the fight scenes in the tower are really Bruce.

Cullen, I had almost forgotten about that fight scene with Kareem. It did look pretty strange, but I remember being fascinated that the movie showed Lee's character having a lot of trouble overcoming Kareem.

Btw, Sheila, I really regret having been away from your blog for a few days. I stop reading temporarily and I almost miss a conversation about my favorite topic after James Joyce, viz. boobs. That'll teach me. I know I'm late to the conversation and that the topic has long since passed, but I'm personally shocked that Europeans, of all people, would consider your remarks on Drew's boobs shallow. I mean, when I went to visit Germany, almost as soon as I got off the plane there was a magazine on display for sale at the newstand entitled "Busen", and I was thinking, "Now this is my kind of country." ;)

From boobs to Kareem and back again...

The boobs were never forgetten. Only temporarily set aside for small talk.

As I recall, Bruce was a pretty big fan of boobies.

I didn't know that about the movie. But Kareem just didn't look as if he had full control of those long legs and arms of his, to use them naturally. I hate hate hate fighting tall bastards like that, because I'm a little 5'7" pissant who has to rely on agility. And I've seen a few tall skinny ones who really do look comfortable in their skin, and able to smack you in the back of the head while staring you in the face.

It could have been the choreography of the fight and his relative newness to film, John. Jabar is one of the few "original school" Jeet Kune Do masters.

Bryan -

The Euro-tard population is so certain that we are all morons over here that they completely miss their own hypocrisy. Very strange!!!

DELETE!!

Could be. Choreographing a fight is not easy. Showing up Euro Tards, on the other hand...

Depends on the Euro Tard ;) Ray Park is a badass.

He may be a Euro, but I don't think he's a Tard.

from eurotards to Drew Barrymore's rack to "Brokeback Mountain" to Steve McQueen to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Hahahahahahahaha.

I swan, this is better than that Six Degrees of Separation (or Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon) game.

there should be a Sheila Variations drinking game...like every time a particular topic or celebrity comes up in the comments WHEN THEY WEREN'T MENTIONED IN THE POST TO WHICH THE COMMENT PERTAINS, you get to take a drink.

I vote for Steve McQueen for the first one.

i find the character of "julie mccoy" and the actess who played her to be very annoying. and yet, as a teenager, i was strangely drawn to her. but not as much to wonder woman.

everybody drink!

Oh, there are some other obvious ones: John Travolta, Breakfast Club, Tom Cruise and the entire Co$ evil-doing clan, Alexander Hamilton ...

Christ, ricki. My liver couldn't afford it.

...and now we're talking about Bruce Lee? WT Flying F?

I LOVE you guys!!!

Yes, It's terrible that Game of Death didn't finish production. The scene in the locker room was particularly ass-tastic (meaning bad, in geek-ese, as opposed to positive description of a woman who is simply gluteally endowed, where the connotation would be...obvious) as they used interior footage from Return of the Dragon with the stunt double.

uh oh...work's coming...

Debra Winger..now drink.

How 'bout Leif Garrett being busted for heroin possession?

DRINK!

Wutz, any time I have the opportunity to make a Bruce Lee or guitar/guitarist reference, I'm going to drop it faster than Barrymore's cleavage.

btw, the actress is lauren tewes.

lorenzo lamas!

i have to have my stomach pumped.

Barbara Walters once reached out and touched my friend's cleavage on The View and referred to it as a "lovely poitrine" What the balls????

Tewes was a coke head at one point i believe.

Don't know about Tewes, but I'm pretty sure Julie McCoy was a lesbian...

BTW, brendan, I thought you'd be too young to remember Julie as a teenager.

"Poitrine" - now that's a word one doesn't ordinarily encounter outside of Voltaire and French pornographic novels. Wow.

My brother and I are of the same generation.

I adore French pornographic novels.

"i adore anyone who adores anyone who adores Emerson..your turn."

Sheila,

So far, I haven't found many instances of the genre that appeal to my own prurient interests. Those French authors just don't seem to be as fixated on "frippons" as I am. ;)

"Bannister, she's a delight. And you're a lucky dog. ADMIT IT. YOU'RE A LUCKY DOG!"

"luv ur hair"

"And the flex valve refused to disconnect ... Meanwhile, the other pilot had fainted from an oversupply of fear ..."

" i dont HAVE a badge for a Eunic Burns"
"thats because miss burns is already at her table"
"THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS"

"Stop saying that. Make him stop SAYING that!"

" ahhh..my list...miiichael?"

"Oh ho ho, and goodness me, a Chinese dragon!"

"I know how you feel, mister. I hate it when my igneous rocks are even touched."

hahahahahaha!!!!! The genius that is Mrs. Von Hoskins!!!

And the spiral of a long thread always ends up at What's Up Doc...

From Drew Barrymore's boobs to Kareem Abdul Jabbar's fighting style against Bruce Lee to What's Up Doc lines...

I love Sheila!!!

"Oversimplify?? YOU ACCUSE ME OF OVERSIMPLIFYING? I NEVER OVERSIMPLIFY!"

"There is no Franz. There is only I. Fritz."
"Ohhh, what a shame."

V.R.U.S.P.

Where is Jean????? We need her!!

Oh, that's right. She ... uhm ... HAS A LIFE.

and then she calls him Hans!!!

right - hahahaha she hasn't heard a word he said.

Mabel Albertson..the sister of Grandpa from Willy Wonka and Chico and the Man

Snakes, as you know, live in mortal fear of...tile.

haha...
"They tried to molest me."
"That's.....unbelievable"

"It was NOTHING ... Nothing, really ... it was just a little classroom ... and it sort of ... burned down ..."
"Burned down??"
"Well, blew up, actually."
"Political activism?"
"Chemistry major."
"Ah."

"How much is it without the Bufferin?"

"THIEVES! ROBBERS! THIEVES! ROooo.......bers."

How dare you strike that brave unbalanced woman!

That has to be my favorite line from the movie, bren.

"WHO CARES WHO SHE IS? VE'RE GOINK TO BE KILLED!"

"I work for the United States government."
"God bless it!!"
"Oh, shut up."

alex - hahahahaha

She's freaking out until she realizes, slowly, that nobody cares. hahahaha

Cullen - I loved that Game of Death stuff when I saw the documentary on cable. I wish he'd finished it, truly intriguing, though the dialogue is unintentionally funny as hell: "Me too, baby." Of course, I'd lose a fight with Bruce NOW, and he's been gone for 30 years.

Lee was almost like something straight from the movies himself: charismatic, a natural performer, amazing martial artist, very hard worker. Totally screwed over when they developed "Kung Fu" and then didn't cast him when it was mostly his idea to start with. Of course, his early death and the supposed curse against his family only makes it more fascinating.

"Good morning."
Pause.
"No ... I don't think so."

"My fiance Miss Sleep is still burning." Long long pause. "I mean, Miss Burns is still sleeping."

(I'm kind of unable to stop this quote fest right now)

i've never seen her before in my life.

"I ... relate ... primarily ... to feldspar."

"Judy. I can't see!" She puts his glasses on. He looks. "Oh God, I can see." He throws the glasses out the window.

The way he throws the glasses out the window? You know how he does it? With that clean swipe of his hand, staring ahead in flat distress? He completely steals that gesture from Cary Grant in Bringing Up Baby - Grant and Hepburn trip into a ravine and end up piled on top of each other. He breaks his glasses. He picks them up, looks at them flatly, and with one clean disgusted sweep of the hand, tosses them away. The two moments are mirror images of each other. I love that!!!!

From Drew's boobs to Kareem Abdul Jabar.

"Hey, I know you: you're Kareem Abdul Jabar! YOu play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, kid. My name is Roger Murdock; I'm the copilot.

"I think you're the greatest. But...my dad says you're not so hot...and that you usually don't even try, except in the playoffs."

"THE HELL I DON'T!"

Without one mention of a John Hughes movie, though. We're slipping.

Sorry I got here so late, as I'm sure I would've remedied that. Drew's boobs make me think of Claire's "talent" from The Breakfast Club...happy now, Lisa? ;-)

"I'm NOT repeating myself, I'm NOT repeating myself, oh god I'm repeating myself."

MY GOD PEOPLE. this comments thread is a masterpiece.

Klaatu Barada Nikto.

DRINK!

fnord, Cullen.

so, in thumbing back through this long chain, i realized that something subtly offensive is going on.

which leads me to ask, was Corky from 'life goes on' a tard or a turd? or both?

Bren:

"I'm not repeating myself..."

One of my favorites!!!!!!!

"I'm a doctor of music."

"Can you fix a Hi Fi?"

"No."

"Then shut up."

Just doing my bit as a shallow American to contribute a substance-free post in an effort to get this thread to 200 comments.

Thankfully, Cullen has saved us from Earth's sure distruction with his timely words, BUT... the most important question is:

What is the name of the PhD that the "Hugh" plagerized his research from?

Shouldn't that be "tit-tastic" and "rackalicious"?

Because Drew is, you know.

Oh, my poor liver..

I demand a warning before these drinking threads commence.

*hic*

Brendan, your rooftop party story reminded me of one of my favorite euro moments.

This was also a 4th of July party, at my grandmother's house. Some very good friends of ours were invited as well. The husband is a Brit.

So we're all standing around, BSing and grilling things, when into the yard he walks. Chin up. Head high. With airs about him.

I say, "Hey, Happy 4th of July."

He stopped, gave me a little smirk, and shook hands with me.

"Happy Insurrection Day," he replied.

This is a record for me. Over 200 comments.

Sheila bows, humbly, and yet also with deep deep arrogance.

One last one, surprisingly on topic, before I call it quits. A quote from the show biz queen of cleavage:

I have got little feet because nothing grows in the shade.
- Dolly Parton

This is like a Little Green Footballs comment thread, except mostly friendly and no mention of Islamofascism.

//no mention of Islamofascism//

Until now!

Honestly, Drew's boobs and Islamofascism go hand in hand, if you think about it.

Here we go...

I'm gettin' it from all sides. I got a red state-tard in the post above this one.

I honestly don't know why these right-wing ignoramuses even read me. They can't spell, they hold views I find universally hostile and offensive, and they have ZERO sense of humor. I wish John Hawkins would take me off his blog roll. I don't read him, I don't like him... and I am convinced that the ASSHOLES who randomly show up and make ignorant offensive comments are from him.

Do not get it.

I have some conservative viewpoints - and the right-wing blog cabal all LOVE me for that - but i'll tell ya - they'd turn on me in a second if they really knew me. If they knew what I REALLY thought.

Ignorant asswipe. I need to let it go. Where do these people come from?

Breathe ....

I just read his comment, Sheila. What a dick.

You know, I used to be more like that guy so I should probably have some patience and give him some room to "grow." But I don't.

He's an idiot. He spelled witch "which". That's pretty much final, in my book!

Back to boobs and Steve McQueen!!

I'm all for boobs AND Steve McQueen. Carry on.

JFH - OH I SHOULD KNOW THAT!!

Findelmeyer. Findelmeyer. Is it Findelmayer?

"Yes! The Findelmeyer Proposition! Of course! No wonder it sounds so familiar!"

OMG, I just had the most terrible dream...it had Steve McQueen in it, and he had the nicest Rack I've ever seen...

Now I can't go back to bed.

"I have some conservative viewpoints - and the right-wing blog cabal all LOVE me for that - but i'll tell ya - they'd turn on me in a second if they really knew me."

Nah.

Mitch
Right Wing Conspirator

(215 comments? Holy cow...)

I can't believe it myself.

Well, I am a member of the vast right wing consipracy, but I love your blog specifically because we don't discuss politics here. There are too many other places on the web that do that.

I appreciate that we discuss world views and personal feelings within the context of pop culture.

(217!)

Yes, it's a consipracy, dammit!

I feel like what I said in that comment has already happened on a higher level with the last election. You keep harping on about gay marriage and family values you'll never get my vote again.

Not you guys, personally. But the political party of which I am speaking.

Nobody should have to stand up for Drew Barrymore's boobs. It is up to them to stand up, or not stand up, for themselves.