Scott Hamilton: The Sketch Comedian

I am cringing. Literally cringing watching Scott Hamilton’s pre-“show” banter. Why does he think he’s a master at improv? He’s doing all this improv stuff with his co-commentator – she’s pretending she doesn’t know about skating, he’s pretending to be all silently insulted … and it is bad. Why does he think this is a chance to show that he’s good at doing SKITS?? You’re a SKATER. Not a comic. To quote Mitchell: “Leave the comedy to the professionals.”

Don’t “act” little moments … don’t “pretend” anything … don’t you DARE improv unless you know what you’re doing. Those of us who are, you know, ACTORS … know how to do that shit – just like you know how to skate. I don’t go out onto the ice and pretend that I know how to do a triple sow-cow just because I can act. It goes both ways. You SKATE. Just because you SKATE doesn’t mean that you can do witty little skit-like banter about “cappuchino double lutzes” … not to mention his cutesy introduction to the horrific and mind-bogglingly stupid Moskvina Minute.

Leave the acting to the professionals, dude.

Just comment on the SKATING.

God, and ice skaters wonder why their sport gets such a cheesy bad rap. It’s because of crap like I just witnessed.

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27 Responses to Scott Hamilton: The Sketch Comedian

  1. tracey says:

    What IS a cappuccino double lutz?? What does that actually MEAN??

    Me no unnerstan’.

  2. red says:

    Oh it was just a dumb skit they did. His co-commentator was pretending that she didn’t know about skating and so was describing the ice skating moves as though they were Starbucks orders … “So … was that a vente double lutz? Or a capputcino triple sow-cow grande?” While Scott Hamilton, seasonsed actor, smouldered in anger.

    It was so dumb that I felt like committing suicide. Thankfully, I have recovered.

  3. tracey says:

    Uh … how embarrassing, for everyone.

    Less skiting, more SKATING! Dumprats!!

  4. red says:

    tracey – you have brought in a Diary Friday word to this post … and I LOVE YOU FOR THAT. What IS a dumprat????

  5. tracey says:

    Has anyone else noticed the Olympic medals look EXACTLY like DVDs? They’re huge and weird!

  6. tracey says:

    I was hoping YOU’D know the whole dumprat thing. I’d never heard of it until Diary Friday.

    I just like the way it sounds.

  7. red says:

    I’d never heard of it before or since. It was obviously a DW phrase. hahahahaha

  8. PatrickP says:

    You guys are actually watching the Olympics? I’m just glad they’re on NBC, because if they had to preempt Grey’s Anatomy for some lame-o skit like the one described in this post I’D be suicidal.

  9. tracey says:

    How awful that we’ll never know for sure! Is it wrong to use it in utter ignorance then?

  10. red says:

    Patrick – why on earth are you surprised that we’re watching the Olympics? After my last couple days of posts about Michelle Kwan, you’re surprised that I’m tuning in? Good lord. I’m a total Winter Olympics bitch – and have been for many many years. I clear my schedule. So please. No more “shock” that this is what I’m focusing on.

  11. red says:

    Okay – we’re 20 minutes in to the first event and already the words “She is watching her hopes be dashed for the Olympic Gold …” have already been said.

    hannah Kearney. In her Olympic debut. A rough start. These ski events amaze me. It’s like they’re flying.

  12. tracey says:

    We are pathetic and we are HAPPY!!!

  13. PatrickP says:

    Ok, I was just being like one of those people who say, “I don’t even own a television.

  14. red says:

    Yes, you were Patrick. PLEASE DON’T BE THAT PERSON.

    hahahahahahahahaha

  15. PatrickP says:

    Btw, I just re-read the title of this post and am now cracking up.

  16. red says:

    It’s so mean. I shouldn’t make a joke about it. I do not mean to joke at other people’s illnesses. The Olympics brings out the meanie in me.

  17. PatrickP says:

    It’s ok. He apparently has earned your scorn. Enjoy the Games. I’ll check in later before I go to bed to see what you’ve gotten yourself into.

  18. red says:

    A commentator just said about Hannah Kearney (who will not go to the finals now because of her poor showing):

    “Coming into this Olympics, I wondered what color medal she would get.” Closeup of Hannah crying. The commentator adds, sensitively, “No medal now. Only tears.”

  19. red says:

    I love the luge.

    It’s so BIZARRE. I would love to GO on a luge ride actually.

  20. red says:

    Oooh … now we’re going to hear about the new scoring system for skating.

  21. red says:

    Bode Miller is so much a PIONEER. heh heh heh The way people talk about him … it’s like his skiing is the equivalent of discovering a polio vaccine.

  22. red says:

    I am literally talking to MYSELF right now.

    And that’s fine. It’s what I would be doing ANYWAY, so I might as well do it on the Internet!

    Up next? The pairs competition continues!!!

  23. Just1Beth says:

    FYI- “Dumprats” was a total S.K. lingo kinda thing. They were the kids who hung out in the commons, sucking down cigarettes between classes. They were the ones who you KNEW would never gradutate, would be on welfare and have 800 kids each by the time we were twenty. Basically, they were the “burnouts” of our town. Dumprats.

  24. michael says:

    I laughed out loud at the Headline on this one, and roflmao after reading the entire post….thanks. It’s snowing like crazy here….just GREAT. To have the Olympics as a background for this N’easter is just perfect, and your commentary is like having a REAL commentator right beside you…..thanks…m

  25. Just1Beth says:

    I am re-reading this comment and realize that, 26 years later, I am still jaded by the dumprats. Much like our conversation with DW in the hall (when I sidle away)I have a “Don’t even try, CHIPS” attitude towards them. Hmmm…maybe I need to examine my attitude…

  26. Neil says:

    It was truly awful. But let’s blame the real culprits — the writers and producers who wrote that crap. Scott Hamilton and that annoying co-host were obviously reading this like presenters at the Oscars reading from the teleprompter. NBC is so worried that you might turn off the tube that they have to “entertain” you every second of the Olympics (and focus only on American stories).

  27. red says:

    beth “still jaded by the dumprats”

    hahahahahahahahaha

    I know what you mean!!

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