Had an eye appointment today. I get all stressed out for eye appointments, due to the bad-ness of my eyes. Going to the eye doctor for me is like going to a dentist is for others.
I love my doctor, though. He’s cool, he makes me relaxed, and he EXPLAINS TO ME what is going on with my eyes. No eye doctor has ever actually taken the time to TALK TO ME ABOUT MY DAMN EYES. What is happening with the itty bitty muscles, how my eyes are changing, what’s going ON … Information is not only power, but it is CALMING. My whole relationship to my eyes has always been one of pretty much intense fear … just hoping against hope that they don’t get worse, I don’t lose my sight – but he actually talks to me about my eyes, and I find myself feeling like … Wow. Maybe things aren’t so bad. No eye doctor has EVER made me feel that way before. EVER.
I feel lucky I found this dude.
He had me take my contact lenses out. I did. Feeling, as always, suddenly vulnerable with a capital V. I sat there in the chair. Blind as a bat. I even can’t HEAR properly without some kind of corrective lens – the world becomes a complete and utter blur. It stresses me out, and upsets me.
We continued to talk, though, about my eyes – I did my best to hear him, even though I couldn’t see.
I said at one point, “See, I sit here and become completely aware of how bad my eyes are … Like, you are totally blurry right now.”
He said, “Oh, no, I’m just that way already.”
I burst out laughing. “You’re blurry?”
“Yeah. That’s just me.”
I love this man.
I even can’t HEAR properly without some kind of corrective lens
That was a fantastic line.
Having worn glasses since 6th grade, I totally know what you’re saying here. There is such a vulnerability.
In Army basic training, you are issued glasses and inserts for your protective (gas) mask. No one, at least none of our drill sergeants, showed us how to put them in our masks. But then it comes time to do training with the mask and if your inserts aren’t in, you are without corrected vision. You have to shoot, move, communitcate all under this high-stress environment without being able to see. Absolute worst part of basic for me.
Your doc sounds great. His bit about being blurry reminds me of Robin Williams in Deconstructing Harry.
cullen – yes! He’s GOT to have seen that film, right??
Glad to know I’m not the only one who can’t HEAR when I don’t have my glasses on. At home – someone will start to speak to me, when I’m in bed, or whatever – and my first response is invariably, “Hang on – let me put my glasses on.” Because if you try to talk to me while I am BLIND, I will miss it!!!
i’m like that half the time; the other half, i hear *better* BECAUSE i don’t have glasses on. weird, huh?
i’ve had glasses since 2nd grade. eyes are worse than mom’s, though not quite to dad’s level yet — i’m so very blind without them. no contacts, either — also something i inherited from dear old dad.
The worst is needing your glasses to FIND your glasses. I have a nervous breakdown when that happens.
This is why I bit the bullet about 6 months ago and had Lasik (the new kind, WAVE technology)… It was worth it! Unfortunately, both the opthomaligist and I agreed that one eye was “over corrected” for a stigmatism so I got go back to correct the 20/25 eye; but it’s covered by the contract.
How ’bout a fund raising drive to “fix” Shiela’s eyesight! I’d contribute…
JFH – argh. I’m too scared. The very thought of it gives me the heebie-jeebies.
But … you’re happy with it?? How bad was your vision before?
Well, you know me and eyes. Kinda like you and “S’s”. I would love lasik, but I am so a-scared of it!!!!! I think my eye fear dates back to the fact that I was in elementary school, and the school nurse hated me. (Probably cus I was in her office every day. I was a whiner and a faker…)So, she never believed me during those eye test things. I finally got sent to an eye dr. when I was in 5th grade and I freaked out when he put drops in my eyes and tried to hold my eyes open. He actually told me to SHUT UP!!! Needless to say, I hate eyes now. But I must wear my glasses or contacts at all waking moments. PS I get your deafness without glasses comment, too! Tom laughs at me when I say that!! It’s like when you are lost and need to turn down the radio.
Beth – well, let’s just thank goodness that eyeglass styles have moved beyond the upside down swoopy Gloria Steinmem ones that we both had. I mean, seroiusly!!
And yeah – my main fear about Lasik is – well, I have soooo many. But mainly:
1. That it will be a botched operation. I just can’t have it.
2. The procedure itself scares me – having to keep my eyes open – I just … don’t know if I could get thru it. Without a couple stiff shots of whiskey
In general, I am “a-scared”.
My boss had the kind of lasik where they let the membrane grow back instead of just doing the cut. He said it hurt, but it’s the best kind to get. It’s the only kind that special operations will take.
I kind of have some fear, but I haven’t done it mainly because I can’t afford it.
My vision dropped from 20/20 when I entered the Naval Academy to 20/30 when I left (for a guy that wanted to be a pilot like his father this was devistating) to 20/200 by age 30 to 20/250 by age 40.
Post Lasik (and just 24 hours later) I had 20/20 vision in both eyes (unfortunately, as I stated, I lost it in the right eye after a week or so).
Sheila, you’re an actor, you could easily will yourself to be a touch person for that 30-60 secs per eye! BTW, the advantage of doing it now is that the procedure is so much more full proof than it was a couple of years ago… AND much better. My much richer in-law relatives did the procedure over 2 years ago when the procedure had problems with night vision. So I actually have better vision for far cheaper than they do/did.
Trust me, it’s worth it… How many times have you been out and accidentally lose a contact? How ’bout going away for a weekend and forget your “back-up contacts”. Ruins the entire time, right?!
Oh JFH. Your words fill me with such unbelievable longing. You totally get it … how much freedom it would be to just fall asleep and wake up and be able to see!!!! Ahhh! I cannot even imagine.
Like Cullen – I can’t afford it – but everyone I have spoken to about it (like you) raves about what it has provided them – the bad stories are probably really rare now – It just freaks me OUT.
But someday …
I recommend you have it if and when you can, for whatever that’s worth.
I don’t know what I am in 20/xxx terms any more, but I was 20/200 when I was nine years old and my current prescription is something like -6.25 or -6.5. I’m going to have the surgery when I can write a check to pay for it. I’ll still need reading glasses, being north of 40, but I really don’t care. I went nearsighted sometime during the summer between third and fourth grade. Went back to school, spent a few weeks thinking “Man, it’s dark up by the chalkboard, I can hardly read it,” then we did the whole-class eye exam bit, and guess what? Found out I couldn’t see so hot any more.
I’m with JFH on losing stuff. Last July I managed to lose my glasses in the surf within 3 hours of getting to the Outer Banks. I was wearing them because I was nervous: surf-kayaking for the first time, my six-year-old son in the boat, and it was breaking pretty big (“The sea was angry that day, my friends: like an old man, trying to send back soup in a deli”).
I picked the spot where we would go back in through the surf, stuck my glasses in the pocket of my swim trunks (for safekeeping, he says, ever the optimist), and rowed for shore. We made it back in okay, but I pitched backwards out of the kayak when I dismounted, and when I stood up, them specs was gone, R-U-N-N-O-F-T.
Turns out there are quite a few opticians in Corolla, NC with same-day service, so I had new glasses by lunchtime the next day (lost ’em on Sunday). They call people like me “ocean donors.”
Don’t blame you a bit for being nervous about LASIK, though. I’m nervous about it too.
I fear them messing up and being REALLY blind. I mean, I don’t like being dependent on glasses/contacts, but I would literally die if I could not see for real. With my luck, they would mess up.
I concur with Red and Beth.
I don’t think I could do Lasik either.
But for those who need an eye exam that will
require dilation of the pupils…
do this at xmas time. The lights
are FANTASTIC!!
Regards.
I have big eye worries too – all of the people on my mom’s side of the family (so far) who have lived long enough, have developed macular degeneration and/or glaucoma. (So far, thank God, my mom doesn’t show any signs of it).
I like going to the eye doctor – it’s the only medical appointment I don’t look forward to with fear and loathing. (Part of it is because my eye doctor is about my age and VERY handsome. Married, alas, but still fun to look at). Part of it is I feel like there’s not too much bad that can happen to me – at least during a checkup.
I’ve had glasses since I was 13. I have too many environmental allergies for contacts, and frankly, at this point in my life, the glasses have become sort of a “prop” – I’d feel not quite myself without them.
As for Lasik, I couldn’t do it. I’d be too afraid of a botched operation. And the whole having to WATCH what’s going on as they do it to you – that makes my stomach want to crawl up through my throat and come out my mouth. (I have to look away when I’m getting a *vaccination* for goodness sake.)
I’m the lucky one here, I guess. 20/15 in one eye, 20/30 in the other. Beyond some depth-perception porblems with fast-moving objects, I’m in good shape, don’t even need glasses. So what do I do in my spare time? Play hockey – as a GOALIE – and deal constantly with fast-moving objects launched at my FACE.