The Books: “The Book of Abigail and John”

US history shelf:

1555535224.jpgNext book in my American history section is the massive The Book of Abigail and John: Selected Letters of the Adams Family: 1762-1784.

My grandmother (dad’s mother) used to say that my grandfather was cheating on her. With Abigail Adams.

I grew up in that kind of environment as well. It was all about John Adams. Maybe it was something to do with the fact that my parents grew up around Boston … so Adams was everywhere. Maybe it was something to do with the fact that my uncle lives in Quincy – so every time we went there for Thanksgiving we drove by the Adams family house. Or maybe it was because 1776 was a HUGE musical in our house. I don’t know what it is – I just remember being aware of John and Abigail Adams from a very very young age. I feel like there was never not a time when I did not know about them. Same with George Washington, too. I don’t remember the moment when I learned about Washington although there had to have been a first time I heard his name. He was just always there. The other founding fathers came later. I learned about them in the normal way, in classes at school, and during the Bicentennial Blitzkrieg which took over the entire nation during my childhood. It was all American History all the time.

My parents were both so into John and Abigail Adams that it rubbed off on me – and also – I saw a production of 1776 during (of course) that Bicentennial year which comPLETELY turned me on. I was the same girl then that I am now. Only I was 4 feet tall, with bug bites on my legs, and funny glasses that looked too big for my face. So I read the collected letters of John and Abigail – I think I took it out from the library.

Since that time – I’ve read this book countless times. I don’t know – I probably read it once every other year, if I had to guess. It’s also something I dip into, for inspiration, all the time. I should put together a daily calendar of quotes from those letters. They are just so so so extraordinary. I never quite get over the fact that we are so BLESSED to have such letters in our public record!!

So what to choose, what to choose.

I decided to go with one of Abigail’s letters. And I decided to go with a really personal one. Because the volume is so rich – and because they were apart for the majority of their marriage – they discussed everything in their letters. Abigail ran the farm for the years he was gone. She was quite an astute manager and businesswoman – he might have been totally ruined when it came time for him to retire – if he hadn’t had Abigail. So there are letters about seed and planting crops and animals and hired hands. There are AMAZING letters during 1775 – 1776 – I mean, you just read them in awe – the sense of urgency, and mission, and uplift, and fear …

Then came the long long years when Adams was away in France and the Netherlands … and it took weeks for letters to arrive – They continued to just write, regardless of lack of response … Sometimes letters were lost at sea. Sometimes letters were intercepted.

The two of them never really got accustomed to the whole being-apart thing – although they were two strong people, and they managed. But their letters are filled with yearning. Or sometimes the whole letter will be businesslike, filled with surface updates about events … and then the last paragraph will suddenly open wide, showing the loneliness, the aching for the other …

They are so so romantic. “My dearest Friend …”

So I decided to go with one of Abigail’s sadder letters, when she let her loneliness be expressed. Both of them were strong people, they bore up well … but they were intimate with one another. These were letters from one soul to another. You can sense that.

This letter always just tears at my heart. It’s become quite famous now – one of her more well-known letters … but in the moment she wrote it she could have no way of knowing that. She just was missing her “dearest friend”.

It’s from 1778. Oh, and “Portia” was what Adams called her – it dated from their courtship when they would write these steamy letters to each other, using the names Portia and Lysander. Taking on fake names from the “olden days” freed them up from their more restricted present … those early letters are awesome.

But the nicknames stuck.


From The Book of Abigail and John: Selected Letters of the Adams Family: 1762-1784.

ABIGAIL TO JOHN

Sunday Evening December 27 1778

How lonely are my days? How solitary are my Nights? Secluded from all Society but my two Little Boys, and my domesticks, by the Mountains of snow which surround me I could almost fancy myself in Greenland. We have had four of the coldest Days I ever knew, and they were followed by the severest snow storm I ever remember, the wind blowing like a Hurricane for 15 or 20 hours renderd it impossible for Man or Beast to live abroad, and has blocked up the roads so that they are impassible.

A week ago I parted with my Daughter at the request of our P[lymout]h Friends to spend a month with them, so that I am solitary indeed.

Can the best of Friends recollect that for 14 years past, I have not spent a whole winter alone. Some part of the Dismal Season has heretofore been Mitigated and Softned by the Social converse and participation of the Friend of my youth.

How insupportable the Idea that 3000 leigues, and the vast ocean now devide us — but devide only our persons for the Heart of my Friend is in the Bosom of his partner. More than half a score years has so rivetted it there, that the Fabrick which contains it must crumble into Dust, e’er the particles can be seperated.

“For in one fate, our Hearts our fortunes
And our Beings blend.”

I cannot discribe to you How much I was affected the other day with a Scotch song which was sung to me by a young Lady in order to divert a Melancholy hour, but it had quite a different Effect, and the Native Simplicity of it, had all the power of a well wrought Tragidy. When I could conquer my Sensibility I beg’d the song, and Master Charles has learnt it and consoles his Mamms by singing it to her. I will enclose it to you. It has Beauties in it to me, which an indifferent person would not feel perhaps —

His very foot has Musick in’t,
As he comes up the stairs.

How oft has my Heart danced to the sound of that Musick?

And shall I see his face again?
And shall I hear him speak?

Gracious Heaven hear and answer my daily petition, “by banishing all my Grief.”

I am sometimes quite discouraged from writing. So many vessels are taken, that there is Little chance of a Letters reaching your Hands. That I meet with so few returns is a circumstance that lies heavy on my Heart. If this finds its way to you, it will go by the Alliance. By her I have wrote before, she has not yet saild, and I love to amuse myself with my pen, and pour out some of the tender sentiments of a Heart over flowing with affection, not for the Eye of a cruel Enemy who no doubt would ridicule every Humane and Social Sentiment long ago grown Callous to the finer sensibilities — but for the sympathetick Heart that beats in unison with

Portia

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2 Responses to The Books: “The Book of Abigail and John”

  1. Linda F says:

    Yes, yes – I’ve been reading the same book this winter. My husband and I use our cell phones to keep in touch, as we’ve been separated due to work since August – with some very brief visits at the holidays.

    We are getting quite impatient with the distance between us. I can’t imagine enduring the separation for much longer.

    How did they manage to keep such a vibrant relationship alive all that time?

  2. red says:

    Linda – I know – and the TIME that had to go by in between letters – there was absolutely NO instant gratification. They had to wait. Months!!

    Some of my favorite (and most heart-achey quotes) from the letters are:

    “I am warm enough at night, but cannot sleep since I left you.” – John

    “Years subdue the ardor of passion but in lieu thereof friendship and affection deep-rooted subsists which defies the ravages of time, and whilst the vital flame exists.” – Abigail

    And this one is my absolute favorite:

    “Your letter is like laudanum.” – John

    Oh man. So romantic.

    Linda, it must be hard to be apart from your mate – I totally sympathize. And with all the military families as well – having to go months, or years, without being together … I so appreciate that sacrifice – because it’s gotta be rough!

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