This post made me laugh out loud:
Some Hypothetical Instances In Which Women I Date Should Know That They’re On Their Own
The first paragraph ends with this:
One girl I dated refused to talk to clowns, but if there were ever a situation in which talking to a clown had been absolutely necessary and unavoidable, I would�ve had no problem. I�ve looked into it, and most non-movie clowns are not supernaturally evil.
Seriously though. Funny funny stuff.
If, perhaps, you somehow find yourself dangling precariously by one hand from a window ledge of a skyscraper (or above any deep chasm, really), I�m not going to try to pull you back up. I�ll sit ten to twenty feet away and give you moral support, but mostly I�ll just wait until help arrives.
Oh sure, it’s funny to you, but those for those of us with coulrophobia, it’s no laughing matter. I mean, we all know that MOST non-movie clowns are not supernaturally evil, but that still leaves a large population of clowns that are just “naturally” evil. Why do they wear all that disguising makeup if they have nothing to hide?!!
Oh please. You have no argument from me. I am the chick who thinks that mimes are inherently evil.
Mimes aren’t inherently evil?
Ya know, Cullen, the only thing MORE scary than evil mimes are evil mimes with baseball bats… worse yet, in Yankee pinstripes!!:
Baseball Furies
Dang, screwed up the link:
Baseball Furies
Arggh, I give up:
http://www.fringeunderground.com/images/fringefeatures/features/issue001/thewarriors/fury.jpg
You DO realize, that I am kinda a mime these days. Which really pisses me off. Cause I hate mimes. Ewww.
Yes, but, are you afraid of yourself?
Quite possibly. I haven’t really thought of that. I had to have surgery on my vocal cords and literally can’t talk for a few weeks. All that comes out is a teeny, tiny whisper. I have found myself pantomiming things at my friends and family when I don’t feel like writing something down. The other night at dinner my father was like, “She wants you to move over one seat” and my daughter was all like, “No, she wants the gravy!!” I just wanted a napkin!! Clearly, my calling as a mime will not pay the bills!!
Oh Beth!!!! (Miming sympathy in your general direction)
I literally cannot imagine you not talking.
JFH: That was the scariest picture I’ve ever seen. Thanks for the nightmares man.
I don’t know, JFH, a mime ministry is awfully scary.
umm..mime ministry? What kind of sick, fucked up person thinks that shit up?? Weirdos.hahahahahahaha!
One of my greatest heroes is Opus, aka, The Olive Loaf Vigilante
And then of course – there is the real-live story of Jess’ unwitting participation in something called the clown ministry.
Kinda not to be missed.
Thanks for linking to that, Sheila. What a great read!
JFH-
Oh my GAWWWDD…Opus on trial for bitch slappin’ a mime to death with an olive loaf. One of the best stories ever in Bloom County!! Well, that and the many deaths of Bill the Cat. Thhppfft!
Late to the party as usual, trying to hijack back to topic as usual, and being contrary as usual…
(hey! hat trick)
…I dunno, I’m going with “try to pull you back up.” I go with Cyrano de Bergerac on this one:
“It is but a little thing to die, but never to see her again…that is terrible.”
I suppose one could incorporate a first-date or at least a first-date-not-going-so-hot qualifier, though.