The Sheila Variations

The 2996 Project: Michael J. Pascuma

2,996 is a tribute to the victims of the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001.

Each of us who signed up for the 2,996 Project will pay tribute to a single victim- we were assigned a name, randomly. (List of victim names and participants here. You can click through and read the other tributes.) I have post-dated my post - so that it will stay at the top through Sept. 12, 2006. (Apparently the volume of traffic has been way too high so you cannot access the original site at this moment - Here is the mirror site. Even though it's difficult, I HIGHLY recommend clicking through and reading as many tributes as you can. Eventually, as I read them all, through my tears, all I became aware of was a blinding white light of love.)

I am paying tribute to Michael J. Pascuma.

Update: I had been unable to find a photograph of Mr. Pascuma online, although I did look. I have since come across this article about him - and here is a picture of the entire Pascuma family:

Michael Pascuma, Jr., center, with his family on a recent vacation. Left to right are his son Michael, wife Linda, daughter Melissa, and son Christopher.

It has been quite an experience spending the last couple of days researching this man. I cannot even pretend to know him - it feels so presumptuous - and in some ways, even writing this tribute has felt presumptuous. I did not know this man - and I can't even comprenend the loss that family feels (look at that photo - can't you feel the threads of connection between all of them?) - but I will say this: I can't imagine that another September 11 will go by without me thinking, specifically, of Michael J. Pascuma - and Linda Pascuma - and Michael, Melissa, and Christopher Pascuma.

If any of you ever come across this post - please know that I did my best. And also know that it was truly an honor to 'get to know' Michael, even in this small way.

Newsday article:
Michael J. Pascuma
Broker didn't sweat 'the small things'
April 19, 2002

Every Tuesday morning, Michael J. Pascuma Jr. of Massapequa Park would take a short stroll from the American Stock Exchange to meet colleagues for a breakfast conference at Windows on the World atop the World Trade Center.

"They would conduct business and maybe later tell a few jokes,” recalled his daughter, Melissa Pascuma, a fourth-grade teacher at the Shaw Avenue Elementary School in Valley Stream.

Pascuma, 50, worked as an independent stock trader with his father at their firm, MJP Securities. Both held seats on the exchange. The senior Pascuma, 93, still works as a trader at the exchange. Shortly before the terrorist attack. MJP merged with another firm and is now called Harvey, Young & Yurman.

Pascuma's daughter said that immediately after the first plane struck the north tower, her brother, Michael, reached their father by cell phone. "I have to get out of here. There's a fire,” were the last words he said to his family. The trendy restaurant was located on the 107th floor of Tower One. Pascuma's remains were discovered shortly after the disaster, and a memorial service was held at St. Rose of Lima Church in Massapequa.

"My father had the most amazing sense of humor,” said Melissa Pascuma. "He thoroughly loved telling jokes to the family and his friends. He was constantly generous with everyone around him, and he enjoyed every single day of his life.”

She said her father was fond of chatting online with friends and was an avid golfer. "He never worried about the small things. He knew what mattered,” she said.

Pascuma's wife, Linda, said, "My husband was a wonderful family man who was very much loved and appreciated by everyone.”

The couple would have been married 27 years on Sept. 21. Linda Pascuma called the entire family "Disney-O-Philes.” "For the past seven years at Easter time, we'd all go to Disney World for 10 days,” she said. A friend served as travel agent and also went along on the trips. The annual event also included her sister's family, bringing the fun-seeking entourage up to about a dozen members, recalled Linda Pascuma.

"Sometimes when my husband got a little bored with things, he'd go off to play golf while we went on the rides and things,” she said. "But it always was a trip we'd talk about all year.”

Pascuma, who grew up in Richmond Hill, never attended college but as a young man learned the ins and outs of stock trading from his father, still a well-known figure in financial circles who remembers the stock market crash of 1929.

Besides his wife and daughter, both of Massapequa Park, Pascuma is survived by his sons, Michael, a college student at Sacred Heart University in Fairfield, Conn.; Christopher, a Massapequa High School student; and his parents, Michael and Ada, of Richmond Hill.

--Bill Kaufman (Newsday)

"He knew what mattered."

As I did my research on this man - one of the things that kept coming up was how he didn't sweat the small stuff, he was all about appreciating what he did have, "he knew what mattered". I went to the memorial sites where people who knew the victims could leave tributes and I came across the following message:

You will be missed. Thank you for all of your kindness. I will miss being your customer. Anne Boudreaux (New Orleans, LA )

There were many messages I found from family members, childhood friends ... but this one, from a customer, struck me: "I will miss being your customer." How many businessmen can say that there will be those left behind who will say, "I will miss being your customer."? That is integrity.

Other people from Mr. Pascuma's life left tributes (some on this site and some on others) - and here are some personal memories of him:

Childhood friend Al Husni:

"I will always remember growing up with Michael. Playing ball, hanging out at PS66 with Michael, Chris, Latz, and the rest of the gang. His sense of humor, his gentleness, will never be forgotten by myself or those who knew him."

Childhood friend Robert A. Maltempo:

"I grew up across the street from Michael, moving away from Richmond Hill at the age of twelve. I will always remember the good times we had and what a wonderful father Michael had (he treated me like his son). I remember playing ring-a-leevio until dark, seemingly every evening, at P.S. 66. I remember Billy Speckman and also another friend of mine and Mikes, named Michael (I'm butchering his last name) Krachunis) who lived next door to Michael. Had many, many wonderful times growing up with Michael...his basement that was full of miniature/toy construction equipment, the NY ranger games his family took us to, a row boat trip with Michael's father singing "Michael Row the Boat to Shore" while Mike and I struggled with the oars.

George Moeser tells some really beautiful stories about Michael Pascuma:

I met Michael Pascuma through my sister Jean Barone back in the 1980's when my (now) ex-wife and I visited her and her (now) ex husband Tommy Barone during a Christmas holiday. We attended a party hosted by the family that owned the Mermaid Restaurant. Of all the people we met at that party in Massapequa Park, Michael was the standout. He was and still remains one of the nicest most genuine people I have met in this life. His warmth, demure and canny sense of humor along with that winning smile of his were a true reflection of great soul, something that can not be faked, learned or acquired. Ias I said, I grew up in the City, the street smart He was the kind of rarity that

He and his wife opened his home to us as if he had known us all his life. I met his father and talked about his horses. His wife Linda and Bianca became friends. Later that week we met him for a visit to the exchange where he worked, but I didn’t know there was the dress code and said he could take Bianca inside and I would wait. Michael thought for a moment then said, “Come on in with me, it will does these guys good to shake them up a little bit.” As we went on to the floor, all three of us were pelted with spit-balls and hoots laughter from the men and women working there, all in good natured fun. One of the keenest impressions I got about Michael was that you could sense the friendship and admiration his coworkers felt for him. He later told me, to his knowledge I was the only person in the history of NYSE to walk the floor in a cowboy hat and blue jeans.

The irony for me in learning of his tragic and untimely death was that he took Bianca and I to the Windows on the World Restaurant for lunch that day. I still have the photo Bicana and myself with the Manhattan backdrop taken by Michael. I have another of him and I on the train with him pretending to pick my pocket in an exaggerated pose, this great smile stealing the scene. Later in the week he met us for lunch again, this time to the Carnegie Deli. He didn’t want us to miss what he called the best corn beef sandwich on the planet—It was.

When we returned to Tucson, he would sometimes call the Boss Shears, the hair salon Bianca and I owned. Pretending to be a first time customer, he would ask if we took late appointments, saying he would have to fly in from New York. The receptionist would ask Bianca and I if we wanted a late appointment. And one or the other of us would ask what time. Then Michael would ask to speak to one of us, and I would recognize his voice instantly. He would laugh and say he might be able to catch the red-eye, get his haircut and fly back in time for work, but would bring two corn beef sandwiches from Carnegie as a tip for staying late.

Over the years we would fly back to New York on the holidays or a family function. Each time Michael and I saw each other again, it wasn’t as if years had past but only days since our last laugh, shared antidote or exchange of impressions.

Years later I was divorce, my sister was also divorced, and had moved to Brooklyn. She and I became estranged and I lost contact with her friends from Massapequa Park. My ex wife kept in touch with my sister Jean and Bianca continued to exchange Christmas card with the Pascuma family, but I lost touch. It was years later when I asked how he was doing that I learned he had died in the 9/11 attack on the Twin Towers. That he died at the very same place where he and I had shared laughter over a meal was deeply moving to me. My eyes filled with tears and I prayed the Lord to bless him and keep him in all his ways. I still do.

On April 22, 2005, Michael Pascuma's daughter Melissa had a baby girl whom they named Madison Michael. It would have been Michael Pascuma's first grandchild. Imagine what a grandfather this man would have been.

Melissa wrote to her father on Sept. 12, 2005:

Daddy, I miss you more and more each day, month and year. I would do anything to get a tight hug from you, hear your laugh, or hear one of your jokes. There are very few children in this world that have an amazingly exceptional father. I am so thankful I happen to be one of them. You held our family together and were the kindest, most generous human being that lived. You did not deserve this. You are a grandpa now. She carries the name of a hero, Madison Michael. Love you endlessly, Your princess

That's the thing that gets you about these horrible losses. The loss itself is horrific - but as life moves on, the loss continues to reverberate in those who are left behind. Madison Michael will not know her grandfather.

Michael Pascuma's son Michael (on this page) wrote:

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and will be Madison's first. You should be here sharing this with us in more than just spirit. I wish there was something I could do because I would in a second! There is so much that we never got to do or say and I would do anything for 1 more minute. I was in Miami this past weekend and saw more Ferraris than ever before and I didn't have you to call. For a split second I thought call Dad and then realied that can never happen again. I will never forget all the times we did share and will cheerish those forever. I miss all the things we used to do together and wish we could play one more round of golf. I would even take just being able to hear one more joke and hear your laugh. I miss and love you so much and I'm getting to upset to continue writing.

"I didn't have you to call." I am so so sorry.

Here is the NY Times Portraits of Grief piece on Michael J. Pascuma:

Golf was Michael J. Pascuma Jr.'s consuming passion. He played every Saturday with a group of friends from work, at courses all over Long Island. He watched golf endlessly on television.

Michael, 50, immersed himself in everything, whether it was golf, his family in Massapequa Park or his work as a stockbroker on the American Stock Exchange. Work and family were entwined: he and his 92- year-old father, Michael J. Pascuma Sr., possibly the oldest broker in the United States, had their own firm, M.J.P. Securities, which recently merged with Harvey, Young & Yurman.

"You would think it was a stressful job, but he was never stressed," said his 23-year- old daughter, Melissa Pascuma, whom he called his little princess. He also had two sons, ages 20 and 17. "As soon as he came home, he detached from it and his family was No. 1."

Michael's wife Linda:

My husband, Michael J. Pascuma, Jr., was an only child. Michael worked with his father on the American Stock Exchange. His father is still employed there at 93 years old. His mother is 89.

He was very well liked and a very respected Stockbroker. He was a very fair and honest person. He had a great sense of humor. He loved telling jokes or playing pranks at work.

He also loved playing golf. He played every Saturday with friends. He had started to travel a little to play on different courses.

Most importantly, Michael was a great father. He had three children, a daughter and two sons. His children loved him. He never fought or got mad at them. He would do anything for them. His sons enjoyed playing golf with him. He never worried about the small things. He loved life and appreciated everything he had. He knew what was important. If they made a mistake or if there was a problem he would always say it didn't matter as long as everyone was healthy.

We struggle every day without him and he is truly missed by his family, friends and co-workers.

He sounds like an amazing man, with a heart as big as the ocean. A laughing kind hard-working family man. Someone I would have loved to get to know.

Rest in peace, Michael J. Pascuma - and my sincerest condolences to the Pascuma family.

Posted by sheila