November 28, 2006

New addiction

This blog: e-closure.

People email in their stories of horrible breakups. They email in their entire break-up correspondences. I can't stop reading it.

Here's a good story to start with.

Watch it degenerate. Well, it doesn't start at a very high level but it plummets downhill fast. The wording is classic. The hatred is palpable.

There are gems like this:

I can't kiss your stuffed animals goodnight anymore. I don't like apple picking. I don't like bike rides. I enjoy farting in bed.

We move on (in the same email) to this:

I'm sorry, but I would rather eat my own leg than continue being your boyfriend.

Follow the trainwreck. And those two only dated for 5 months!!

I'm addicted.

Posted by sheila
Comments

"3.) Die."

HAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAA! And. . .

"IT IS SMALL. I LIED."

Hilarious.

Posted by: Lisa at November 28, 2006 4:45 PM

How about: "Being with you is like dating a catatonic invalid."

HA! Like - uhm, tell us how you REALLY feel!!

Posted by: red at November 28, 2006 4:47 PM

"The memories of gagging on your unnaturally hairy chest alone give me nightmares."

I have actually told someone something very similar to this. I was engaged in college (for, like, a nanosecond) and when we broke up I told him his chest hair made me think his mom had had sex with Sasquatch.

(Seriously. On his stomach, you couldn't even SEE HIS SKIN for all the hair. It even laid down flat, like DOG HAIR. Ack.)

Posted by: Lisa at November 28, 2006 4:54 PM

Sasquatch! ha!!

I love how they're using this kind of formal language but they're saying the most horrible things!!!

//So, in summation, I hope you make 30k for the rest of your life as you get pummeled by spitballs in that inner city hell they call a school.//

Posted by: red at November 28, 2006 4:56 PM

thanks for getting my roommate and i addicted to yet another [albeit wonderful] site. you're crazy ^_^

Posted by: amelie / rae at November 28, 2006 6:27 PM

LOL!!!

OMG, Red! THANK YOU! I CRACKED UP reading that. It was like reading a good book, with each email a new chapter exposing some new secret.

HA!

Posted by: Jon F. at November 29, 2006 12:23 AM

I love that if you'd just glanced at the emails you'd see something that looks really professional and adult... but good lordy to read it??? Funny.

Posted by: alli at November 29, 2006 11:48 AM

Just when I thought THAT torment was gone from my life! I guess it's funnier this way.

I told my buddy about this site and he directed me to http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ which is less funny and just as addicting. MMMmmm... the secret/private/personal lives of others... *drools*

Posted by: Rick at November 30, 2006 8:10 AM