The Sheila Variations

"It all started with these big fat Puerto Rican lesbians living next door to me, when they got all high or something and tried to burn our apartment building down. "

Patrick Hughes' latest:

A small excerpt but then go over there and read.

But anyway the two big fat Puerto Rican lesbians living next door skipped softball practice to fry up a bunch of coconuts and bananas, I guess, and I suspect they got all high at some point and forgot about the hot grease and shit caught on fire.

I don’t know for sure if they were high. I mean, I didn’t think to ask them for a blood sample. In fact, I was kind of out of it myself when it all went down, drifting off to sleep by spacing out to a preposterous CD full of electronic drones and bleeps and blips. But even in this drowsy state, I noticed a particularly shrill bleep continuing between tracks. Eventually, smelling smoke, I realized I had been nodding off to the relaxing sound of a fire alarm.

Also: “Dark oblivion, where is thy sweet midnight caress?” what??? hahahahaha

Here's the whole sad story. (Speaking of Patrick, I'm bringing his book on vacation with me, and can't wait to read it. He's one of my favorite writers on the web.)