The Sheila Variations

Under-rated movies series, plus some mustard

I am about done with my 16th "under-rated movie" review (the other 15 are here) - I just have to put the finishing touches on the latest and upload the photos and crap like that. I love talking about why I appreciate a film or a certain actor, trying to get my thoughts together, and put it into words. It's my favorite kind of writing to do, I think. Well, and I like to write about boys I've kissed and bedroom windows and stuff like that, too. Look for the under-rated movie review later tonight.

For now, I have to go get my haircut, buy a spring coat, have some lunch, see my sister, buy the next in line in the Master & Commander series - because I'm almost done with Desolation Island and I MUST HAVE THE NEXT ONE READY TO GO SHOULD I WANT TO PICK IT UP IMMEDIATELY.

Oh, and yesterday I bought a table. I am strangely thrilled about my table. It makes me want to jump up and down. I do not have a huge house - as a matter of fact I have a ROOM ... and recently I got rid of a desk because it had just become a storage unit and it was driving me insane. I never sat at it. But I have this big open window - measuring about 10 or 12 feet across - it's a big window - that looks out onto the yard in back - and I recently moved some crap around so that now that entire window is empty underneath. And the thought of sitting at a table/desk while looking outside - is pleasingly feng shui-ish and makes me REALLY happy. I went to my furniture store, where I always go, and talked to Chris, who I always talk to, found something in my price range and arranged to have it delivered next week. Why am I so excited? Why do I feel like my whole life will change? I don't know, but I just do. I get so excited about the littlest things.

Another thing that excites me to no end: My favorite mustard of all time is difficult to find - and for the last year or so I was under the impression that that flavor had been discontinued. The company still made OTHER mustards - but they were NOT what I wanted. I like my mustard to be sweet AND hot, thankyouverymuch ... not just sweet, and not just hot. So suddenly - the sweet AND hot mustard disappeared from every condiment shelf in America. Not that I checked, but you know. Okay, fine, it disappeared from the shelves of the Pathmark down the street from me, and also disappeared from the other Pathmarks in surrounding towns (because yes, I went on pilgrimages to check, because mustard is important to me - right Meredith?? grey Poupon?? - and getting just the right mustard is no easy thing for a picky eater such as myself.) Anyway. That mustard was gone. I have been slogging along in doom and gloom using other mustards for over a year now. And yesterday, after going to see the Trinidadian (yes, he has a name - I just like calling him that ... I call him that to his face, too - so it's not like I'm being sneaky) - I stopped off at a tiny deli near his apartment. A deli run by a stoic Chinese family who are ALWAYS there. I browsed, to get some fixins for dinner - and holy shit - a whole shelf of my mustard!

My dear sweet AND hot mustard
How I have missed thee!!!

I bought the entire shelf, I don't mind telling you. I'm not taking any chances. I need to stock up. I bought 8 jars of the mustard. And, I got so excited about it that I accidentally knocked over a nearby display of soup packets. I actually got flustered at the sight of the mustard, and went ballistic, swooping them all into my basket with one gesture. I made a racket. I knocked shit over. It is a very small deli. I need to calm down. And I stalked up to the cash register, almost afraid that, I don't know, the KGB of sweet and hot mustard would suddenly swoop down and demand to see my permission slip that says, "I am allowed to buy 8 jars of mustard." But no! Success!! I now have more mustard than I know what to do with. Enough to last me at LEAST until 2009. And I have a new table coming. Which will change my life in some indefinable way.

I write about this because I am noticing everything these days. Everything. It exhausts me. And I notice, in almost a detached manner, how I am still capable of excitement over tiny things. Even though I occasionally wreak havoc in small Chinese delis. And for that I am grateful. Also proud. It's not easy to hold on to the ability to have joy in simple things. I am barely aware of it myself. Anyway.

Master & Commander.
Table.
Haircut. (Mohammed? Are you there?)
Sister.
Coat.
New under-rated movie review....
With extra mustard.

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