June 13, 2008
The shallow part of "shallow elitism"
So after two elitist posts (if by "elitist" you mean "talking about books" and making declarations that some things are better than others. If that is your criteria, I am one HELL of an elitist and proud of it!) - I figured I'd throw a bone to the shallow crowd, of which I am also a proud member.
(New readers, a word of explanation: A couple years ago, in one week alone, I got two bitchy emails - one from some jagoff ranting about how "elitist" I was because - well, basically because I wrote about things that HE didn't care about ... and the second email was from some snot ranting about how "shallow" I was because I was obsessed with Project Runway. There was something so FREEING in that one week of emails because I realized, head on, that I cannot please everyone. How on earth can one be a shallow elitist?? I don't know - but I know that I am!! The Sheila Variations: Bringing you Shallow Elitist content since 2002).
Here are some observations I have made of late:
-- 
Sometimes I listen to songs by "My Chemical Romance" (and I like a lot of them), and my overriding feeling is: "Boys. Please. Calm the hell down. Take a deep breath, and CHILLAX."
-- I have a huge crush on Padma Lakshmi. Oh, and come to think of it, I have a crush on Tom Colicchio too. But Padma actually makes me nervous.
-- I am pretty bummed that Pacifica French Lilac Body Butter is so hard to find. My Whole Foods has their whole line of products - but not that one particular lotion. I am resisting buying it online because they charge 15 dollars shipping and handling or something like that.
-- I love Angelina Jolie and I wonder if we could be friends. I really hope so. I'm psyched to see Wanted. I love her as an actress but I am particularly in love with her in action films. Mr. and Mrs. Smith was a BLAST. She's one of the only actresses out there where I can pretty much believe that it is her doing all that crap - not a stunt woman. She's a lot of fun.
-- I want Kathy Griffin's Life on the D-List show to go on forever. If she ever becomes an A-list actress, I will be devastated because there goes that series, and I love every second of it.
-- I beg of you: follow the link and click through. What???
-- I will always, and I mean always, look back fondly on the first season of Rock of Love. Television just doesn't get any better than that. I mean, seriously. What I love best about the image below is that there is no irony in it. It is earnest. And deeply crazy. And I wish more people on the planet were deeply openly crazy, so I wouldn't feel so left out.
Gorgeous.
-- Recently re-watched Eyes of Laura Mars and reveled in the sight of Tommy Lee Jones in bell bottom jeans, a black turtleneck and long hair.
-- The Real Housewives of New York City cannot hold a candle to the GLORY of Real Housewives of Orange County. It just doesn't have the botox and fake boobs that made the Orange County version so awesome.
-- Speaking of Real Housewives of Orange County, I wonder how Lauri and George are doing. I actually have moments where the couple pops into my mind, and I think, "I hope they're happy together."
-- You know what movie I saw recently and loved? Dan In Real Life. I think that might have to go on my Under-rated Movies List because (along with the incorrect marketing theme today) it was marketed wrong - it was marketed like a wacky 40 Year Old Virgin sequel - which made me not want to see it (as much as I loved 40 Year Old Virgin) - but what a pleasant surprise: it's a sweet well-written funny and poignant family drama - and I LOVED it. I'll do a review of it when I get out from underneath the pile of the project I am working on. Dane Cook was great, too - he belongs in an ensemble piece at this point in his career - he's not confident enough (as an actor, I mean) to carry a movie (yet), but he was terrific here. Everyone was.
You get a pass on the elitism of the book post because you brought up American Pie 2 in it.
Posted by: Emily at June 13, 2008 11:58 AMAck, I knew it was a mistake to click that link!
Did you see that interview Kathy Griffin did with Larry King? The poor guy couldn't have been any worse off if she had been speaking Russian. :-)
Posted by: miker at June 13, 2008 12:11 PMEmily - hahahahahahaha
It's true I can't ever be a real elitist because my shallowness has a way of alwyas peeking thru.
Posted by: red at June 13, 2008 12:24 PMYes, but *real* elitists know the difference between "criterion" (singular) and "criteria" (plural)! ; )
Posted by: cremedelacreme at June 13, 2008 1:16 PMcremedela Jagoff:
See that's why the folks who call me elitist have no idea what they're talking about. I also don't know how to spell "embarrassed" or "recommendation" without spellcheck.
Mike - I didn't see the interview with Larry King! Let me see if it's on Youtube - that woman just makes me laugh!
Posted by: red at June 13, 2008 1:20 PMI love the use of "Jagoff" it's a Chicago thing! (does that make it/me elitist?)
My Jagoff stoty:
A few years back, in L.A. I was riding my motorcycle Down Ventura boulevard. a BMW came out of the thrifty parking lot, the driver either did not see me or did not care. This was in the pre cell phone era so he was not distracted he was creeping out to try and turn left and he just stopped in front of me. I had to lock up the brakes I slid sideways and came to a skillful halt right at the guys front window. I yelled right at him "YOU FUCKING JAGOFF!" The guy was startled and obviously apologetic. He emphasized his apology by using the universal in- traffic "I'm sorry" gesture of lifting your hands up off the steering wheel, shrugging, and Squinting. then after a second he tilted his head back and seemed to chuckle. The guy rolled his window down and said, "What part of Chicago are you from?" I paused for a second and said, "west of the city, Maywood". He nodded and said, "No one says Jagoff out here... Sorry man I had my head up my ass,... southside, Bridgeport". This totally disarmed me. One second I wanted to kill this JAGOFF the next we were acouplea guys from backhome. All we needed was an Old Style beer! Thanks for the memoty Sheila!
Phil - HAHAHAHA I love that story!!! Totally disarming!
And Jagoff is my favorite insult ever - I also like to shorten it to "Jag" which just increases the contempt!
"Man, he's such a jag ..."
Kinda says it all.
Posted by: red at June 13, 2008 1:24 PMFora while, in highschool, we said "Jag-Stick".
"hey Jag-stick..."
Posted by: Phil at June 13, 2008 1:37 PMJag-Stick is brilliant. I am going to have to appropriate that.
Posted by: red at June 13, 2008 1:43 PMSheila, the shallow elitism has been great, but when are you going to get around to deep universalism? That's what I've been waiting for since 2004.
(joking, of course)
Posted by: Jeff at June 13, 2008 1:52 PMJeff - hahahahaha
I know! I really have to be more universal, and you have been SO patient!!
Posted by: red at June 13, 2008 1:56 PMWhat you said...scary how I was mentally agreeing...I think we could be friends :)
Except for Griffin part, but only because I haven't seen it.
Posted by: This Book For Free at June 13, 2008 2:06 PMBook for free :
I am a late convert to the Griffin bandwagon!! When she did the red carpet at the Oscars a couple years ago (with Star Jones) I despised her!! It was the gig she was fired from. I'm not even sure why she rubbed me the wrong way, come to think of it - because now I am a HUGE fan.
Posted by: red at June 13, 2008 2:10 PMI relate in a hyper-internal dynamic to your shallow-elitist paradigm, insofar as my counterintuitive kneejerk antidisestablishmentarianism will allow such pedantry to gain the most modest of toeholds.
In short, I don't get Angelina Jolie.
Posted by: Brendan at June 13, 2008 2:12 PMBren - hahahaha Very nice!! I especially like "counterintuitive kneejerk antidisestablishmentarianism" - that's a bit brill.
Posted by: red at June 13, 2008 2:18 PMmelody and i have long arguments about kathy griffin...i am most decidedly not a fan. i find her to be fascinating though because of the STARK lines drawn. people either LOVE her or HATE her. there aren't too many people who are all 'take it or leave it' about her.
anyhoo...
Posted by: Brendan at June 13, 2008 2:26 PMShe is polarizing - you're right! And I totally switched sides, which is very unlike me!
Posted by: red at June 13, 2008 2:39 PMI linked here from Pioneer Woman's blog, and all I can say is wow! do I ever love your blog! (well that's not all I can say, obv). Reading and movies and shallow elitism :) I've hit the trifecta!
I know exactly what you mean about Rock of Love. I feel the same way about preppy dweebs who wear two polo shirts AND POP THE COLLARS. Sometimes I see someone who does it, and it's clear that there is no irony in what he is doing, that he really thinks he is cool and to me, it's just the most beautiful thing. I tried to explain it to my bf just last week, and he clearly thought I was a total wacko. :-)
Posted by: Tina at June 13, 2008 5:27 PMTina - hahahahaha Exactly!! You totally get it!
Someone who does something like that is totally being himself and it's truly awesome.
Bless your heart for mentioning "The Eyes of Laura Mars." Another wonderful forgotten John Carpenter gem. I, too, am looking forward to "Wanted" but am usually too embarrassed to admit it. There's something about Angelina Jolie in an action movie that brings out the pubescent Junior High-Schooler in me. AJ and her eyepatch were the 2 best things about "Sky Captain..."
Can't comment on the Real Housewives of NYC since mine died in my arms a few years ago. (I've got that option for a Lifetime series covered in perpetuity.)
Hey Red, I've always wondered how many books you read a week and fast do you read?
B
Posted by: Westside B at June 13, 2008 9:52 PM//And I wish more people on the planet were deeply openly crazy, so I wouldn't feel so left out.//
I try, but I think I'm more of the quiet-obsessive type who reads the T and thinks of ways to re-arrange the refrigerator, much to his fiance's amusement.
Lovely stuff as always, especially the Yeats post.
Posted by: Dan at June 14, 2008 9:35 AM