A fragmentary tour …

… of my wee darling abode. A lot has changed since I took these, but what the hell.

This is to make the “TMI” brigade even more insane and to also show that just because you rent an apartment doesn’t mean you don’t think of it as home.

It’s also because I am going to move. I don’t know where yet, although the wheels are in motion. So one day I will be glad I have all these random photos.

There are places I have lived in my life where I have almost no proof that I once lived there. Not that they were awesome places, far from it, but I’m all about proof. I love to have something tangible to look at. People say I have a good memory, but that’s not really true. It’s just that I’m obsessed with documenting things, so that I can look things up if I have to, about my own life.

I have to laugh when I think of Ree’s “peeks” into the Lodge she just refurbished on her ranch. That’s not even their main house – it’s a SECOND house. First of all, it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen in my life and I want to spend a winter there writing my second book (Ree? Can we make that happen?) – and second of all, if I look at THAT and compare it to MY offering below … all kinds of things can start happening to me. Shame, for one. That I still live in such a small place. Well, shame about all kinds of things. Hesitance to let people in, to see where I live … BECAUSE of that shame. Etc. And believe me, this is the Internet – if you feel shame about something, there will always be some jagoff who feels it his duty to tell you, “Well, you probably SHOULD feel shame about that! The way you live is indicative of everything that is wrong with America” or whatever the problem is with me. But then, even after perusing Ree’s beautiful photos about her new Lodge, I think: But … but … that’s MY problem if I judge what I have against what she has. That’s not her problem or anyone else’s. Her life is her life, and I love to peek in on it, and my life is my life, and she peeks in on mine as well. It’s cool, actually. Because not all lives are the same. Not all stages of life are the same. If I constantly compare where I am at with those who are my age or whatever, I might throw up my hands in despair. This must not happen. I cannot afford to let that mindset into my life. At all anymore.

I am proud of my little apartment, eensy-weensy as it is, and it has been a really wonderful move for me. I am certainly ready to move on, and spread out more – but for now, here are some glimpses.


Front door to apartment building.

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My actual street.

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And, of course, this is the view at the end of my street. When I move, it will be this that I miss most. As a matter of fact, I think one of the reasons I haven’t moved, despite my space challenges, is because I am so addicted to my view.

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Grimy urban mailboxes. You can see why no one can send me a package to my home. My mailbox is big enough for two envelopes and that’s about it.

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The mysterious door to my bathroom. I love my apartment because it has all these strange individual details – like frosted warped glass in the bathroom door. Very strange and distinct.

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Towel hanging on hook on strange bathroom door.

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Bathroom in miniature.

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Some things I have on my bathroom wall.

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Kitchen (before the re-org). Some people may just see clutter. I see things that I love EVERYWHERE.

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For example:

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(I’m vaguely superstitious about drinking out of the same coffee cup two days in a row. This comes from a conversation I had with my godmother YEARS ago, as well as some interview I read with Tina Turner, where she said the same thing. I see it as symbolic. I love my coffee cups. I have each one for a reason. Oh, and I stole one of them.)

My bedroom has completely changed now. Everything shifted, bed moved, desk moved, barrister bookcase moved … but here’s a glimpse.

Corner of my bedroom. I was just talking to my mother the other day and I mentioned how “susceptible” I am to environments. Like, I don’t get “over” things. I am not “over” the beauty of such corners in my apartment, even though I have lived here for almost 7 years now. I look at something like that and feel totally satisfied.

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My window in my bedroom.

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Mitchell gave me that piece of stained glass years ago. I am so amazed that it has survived all of my moves. I cherish it.

Desk

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My glorious bookcase (which has now been moved)

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Again, everywhere I look in my main room I see objects that I love, that have traveled with me, that have stories attached to them, memories, connections.

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I try to keep the home fires burning for myself.

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And then, naturally, the main event in my apartment, besides Hope and myself.

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31 Responses to A fragmentary tour …

  1. Stevie says:

    Well, it’s just absolutely beautiful, thasall, because it so eloquently reflects the beauteous you. How I miss having tons of books around; a lifetime collection was flung to the winds by necessity during a move a few years ago, and now I rely on the library. But it ain’t the same. Sigh.

  2. Kristin says:

    Ooohhhh! I LOVE the glass front book shelf. FABULOUS!

  3. red says:

    Stevie – thank you! I’ve been very happy here! I love all my little objects.

  4. red says:

    Kristin – I know, isn’t it magnificent?? Its in pieces, you have to stack them on top of each other … so well made. My parents gave it to me and I am so so proud of it.

  5. jayne says:

    Sheila – I nearly ran upstairs to make sure my barrister bookcase was still there. It looks to be the same style and vintage as yours…Mere has one, too – hers is shorter but wider. They were our grandfather’s.

    I love your wee apartment. And yes – about what some would see as clutter but you see as things you love – I know what you mean.

  6. red says:

    Jayne – The barrister bookcase is just fantastic and I kind of want another one! Beth drove the pieces down to me in her car – bless her heart! Each one wrapped in a towel – because even though it is SO well-made, that glass could shatter!

    I’m not sure if yours is in pieces – but mine has six shelves – three “tall” shelves that have to go on the bottom, and then three “short” shelves for the top. Then there is a “cap” that goes on the top – AND the bottom piece is a little drawer.

    I just love the whole damn thing.

  7. Ceci says:

    Speaking of corners, I can’t get over the beauty of your new desk, with that fabulous lamp (I COVET it, haha) and the stained glass at the window…
    Also: I love your having a bookshelf right beside your fridge! I would have never thought to put one there, but it looks great, indeed! I love finding new places to put books!
    Loved the little tour around your apartment… it looks terrific, very cozy, I understand why you stayed so long, in spite of the lack of space.

  8. red says:

    Ceci – That bookcase there was my friend Jen’s idea. I never would have thought of it either – but there was a little space there, with room for something small … it doesnt stick out into the doorway or anything. I also am so challenged, in terms of counter and cupboard space – I put my oil and vinegar and most-used spices on the top of that little bookshelf. Must be creative!!

  9. Cullen says:

    That view! I understand why you’d find it hard to move.

  10. red says:

    I know, right?? It’s like The Greatest Show On Earth every day at the end of my street!

  11. Lisa says:

    I need to read that Ernie O’Malley book. Have you seen “The Wind That Shakes the Barley” yet?

  12. red says:

    Lisa – No, I haven’t seen it yet. I will!

    My dad said that one of the things that elevates Ernie O’Malley’s book over other IRA memoirs is the strength of the writing.

    My dad said, and I quote, “Most IRA memoirs read like, ‘And then we hid in the bushes after we blew up all the lorries.‘” Terrible.

    But O’Malley’s book is literature.

  13. Lisa says:

    Well, have a wad of Kleenex ready, or maybe a hand towel, because the last fifteen minutes is as gut-wrenching as any you’ll ever watch. I mean, I *know* I’m a big crier, but this went beyond tears.

  14. roo says:

    When I look at the pictures of your apartment,
    I understand on a whole new level why I feel
    sympatico with your blog.

    Looks a lot like my old place.

    The cool thing is,
    wherever you move, you’ll be able to
    build your pretty corners.
    And you’ll have the fun of assembling
    your things in new, satisfying configurations.

    Home isn’t so much the space you live in.
    It’s the stuff you like having around you.
    Like George Carlin said…

  15. melissa says:

    What a wonderful home!

  16. Jayne says:

    Sheila – yes! Mine’s in pieces. Five shelf sections, plus the top and bottom pieces. EXTREMELY fragile – I’m amazed it’s survived so many moves over the years – both mine and my grandparents’! They’re gorgeous – I hope when you move you can get another one!

  17. nightfly says:

    Knowing what I know of you from your writing, this looks like exactly your space – it is just an extension of your personality into your living. Wherever else you go I’m sure you’ll do the same thing, even if you miss the old place from time to time.

  18. Glenn says:

    With my Skyward mission accomplished, I now find myself attracted to your daily posts. It was fun seeing the place where the DVDs now reside!

  19. nightfly says:

    PS – actually, you know what this post kind of reminds me of? Your ideal library from the book meme post. Of course you have a little less space currently, but both your real space and your dream space definitely come from the same heart.

  20. Ken says:

    I think it’s neat to use a small living space efficiently, and square footage and pride are orthogonal in any case.

    Back before I met my wife, I was giving a fair bit of thought to buying this 37′ Stonington motorsailer that was sitting on the hard at the marina in Fairport Harbor. It belonged to the local Sea Scouts outfit. They were asking $1500; I was thinking more like $500. I’d have restored her and lived aboard. I even had a name picked out: Thomas Paine. :-)

  21. Therese says:

    I miss the nun on the fiver.

  22. red says:

    Therese – ha! Me too. I snagged that fiver my last time there because I knew its days were numbered.

  23. red says:

    //The cool thing is,
    wherever you move, you’ll be able to
    build your pretty corners.//

    That’s a very comforting thought!

  24. red says:

    Glenn – ha! It’s been all-Skyward all-the-time around here, thanks to you! I think I told you that the three of us are getting together on Saturday for a screening.

    I still can’t believe it’s all happened!

    And yup – this is where I live! Skyward and Skyward Christmas now sit in their cases on my desk, waiting patiently to be viewed.

  25. Mr. Bingley says:

    The frosted glass doors, the crown moulding; god, older apartment buildings just have such character that these newer soulless places can never attain. I could just curl up with a bottle of shiraz in darn near any corner of that place and never feel a desire to move.

  26. just1beth says:

    It’s funny how we judge our OWN places and spaces, and yet thoroughly let ourselves revel in others. I have ALWAYS loved your home, Sheila, and in some of my darkest moments, THAT is where I imagine myself living. It represents SOOO much too me, and I often envy you a bit. Strange how you were having some of the same feelings about Ree, when I have been having the same feelings about you! Anyhow, I agree with the above comments-no matter where you go, you will “make it homey and beautiful”. It’s who you are. Love you.
    PS Tom and I will be at the dog show TUESDAY (bwa hahaha)arriving in the early afternoon. Any chance you might be available for a drink? We will be leaving at 10pm to head back home…

  27. red says:

    Bingley – it is definitely those details that really help make the place. I love the old-fashionedness of it all, the strangeness of some of its qualities.

    I also love the image of me coming home and seeing you curled up in a corner with a bottle of shiraz for the third week in a row. “Don’t mind me, Sheila, I’m just going to be staying here for a while, mkay?”

  28. Mr. Bingley says:

    Hehehe, don’t worry, I’ll bring at least a case or three!

  29. Jen W. says:

    Sheila- have you ever read T.C. Boyle’s Budding Prospects? There is a secondary character in it who documents everything in his life and had since childhood. The main character Felix would be having a panic attack and would call his best friend (the one who recorded his life) and would listen to him read his journals. It was a lot of mundane things, like what the score was of their junior high basketball game, or something, but them there would be special moments as well- something no one wants to forget. There was just something about the ritual of recording, of keeping it, being able to look back at it, that was essential to both of them. I thought it was a fascinating part of the book, and it really reminded me of you. I wish I had the ability and patience to remember and record like you do!

  30. red says:

    Jen – I have not read that book, but my friends do that to me all the time – have me either cross-reference things or refresh their memories, using my journals.

    Mitchell calls me “the Homer in our group of friends”.

  31. De says:

    I always have this insatiable curiosity about other people’s spaces. When I walk the dogs at night around my apartment complex, I always strain to catch a glimpse in through someone’s window. I’m not trying to sneak a glance at their nakedness (unless they’re HOT) or at how clean/dirty their apartment may be…I just enjoying seeing where others call home.
    I like how you said others may see clutter but you see everything you love.
    I feel the same way about my tiny space in the world.
    It’s small but it’s mine.
    Anyway, thanks for the tour. :)

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