Supernatural: Season 2, Episode 17: “Heart”

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Directed by Kim Manners
Written by Sera Gamble

“Heart” has an insistent rhythm, like a heartbeat: The moon rises, sets. The sun rises, sets. The cycle repeats. Despite the urban setting, the rhythm of the natural world is explicit. The mood is watchful, anxious, and emotionally fraught. Like the electrical tension in the air broken by a huge summer storm. That electrical tension has been building through episodes. “Roadkill,” with its dark wet gloom, its themes of mortality/loss/letting go, was one of the best stand-alones in Season 2 (thus far), but it was also a perfect emotional launching-pad for “Heart”. If “Tall Tales” had come before “Heart,” we’d have a very different Arc, wouldn’t we? That final moment in “Roadkill,” with Sam’s anxious glance down the road, leads us to “Heart” effortlessly.

We’re past the season mid-point. We are about to go into the season’s final stretch, the episodes of which are a mix of silly/tragic/burlesque/poignancy that has rarely been reached in the show again, at least not at such a sustained level. You’re amazed the show can actually take it. A lot of that success depends on the depth reached in “Roadkill” and “Heart.”

“Heart” brings together all of the themes that have been worrying/nagging the show since Season 2 began (and some go back to Season 1):

1. Sam’s worry about what he will become, and – connected to that – his growing sympathy with “monsters”.

2. Dean’s worry about Sam, and his commitment to protect Sam and look out for Sam.

3. Their growing understanding of what it means to be a hunter. As long as they can assure themselves that they are helping people, maybe the sacrifices will be worth it. But now they are starting to really feel the cost. This is more noticeable in Sam, since he always had one foot outside of the Winchester family business. There are some lines Sam has in “Heart” that are tragic, because you can tell he has succumbed to the darkness of The Life. He gets it now.
3a. Dean, who has always been more cut-and-dry about the whole thing, keeping Sam on course, arguing about what their job actually is, feels the cost in a primal way in “Heart,” because of #2 on this list. He’s somewhat unconcerned about himself. It’s too late for him to go back. (Motel room conversation in “Shadow.” These are long emotional arcs.) But he “accepts” that. Interestingly and beautifully, that will all topple with “What Is and What Should Never Be,” not only one of the best episodes of Season 2 but one of the best episodes in the show entire. I’ll have more to say about that when the time comes, but suffice it to say: Dean’s Burlesque is so strong that even he is fooled by it. And that’s the POINT of the Burlesque, make no mistake. Don’t knock it til you need it. Sam and Dean are Gen-X, a tough skeptical independent generation (the last to be raised without bike helmets and seatbelts) and were brought up in a warrior tradition (a tradition, by the way, that has thousands of years of evolution behind it, much stronger than the current trend of sensitivity-prized-above-all-else.) Dean’s Burlesque is a survival technique, one that he needs as much as food/sleep/sex. I’ve talked about this before. Studies have been done showing that repression/redirection, as opposed to constant Expression, is often very effective in dealing with trauma. Talking about your trauma is also important, but it is not the only way. The theory that wearing your emotions on your sleeve as the Ultimate in Healthy is an extremely recent mindset. So something horrible happens, a person throws himself into his work/hobbies/personal life, and someone will say he is “in denial” as opposed to surviving. (There was a great op-ed column in the New York Times post-911 about all of this and I felt vindicated by it since repression/redirection is how I have survived. Or I like to call it sublimation, because I have always remembered something one of my great acting teachers once said. His definition of “sublimation” was: “You take your pain and you make it sublime.”) In our current self-help culture (much of which has not been backed by scientific peer review) saying that is a no-no. And listen, I need my therapist. Therapy is amazing. She’s saved my LIFE over the past three years. Probably literally. Her cognitive shit WORKS. But, at the same time, human beings have survived BECAUSE of their ability to repress. Dean’s Burlesque Act (in high gear in “Heart”) helps him survive his own life and make room for fun/pleasure – because ultimately, unlike Sam, he is a pleasure-hound. He wants to impart some of that to Sam, he wants Sam to have a piece of it too since it works so well for him. But with “What Is and What Should Never Be,” Dean is deprived of that Burlesque, it is ripped away from him. He will never fully recover.
3b. Sam is different: He lacks Dean’s Burlesque. His only bulwark against the horrible-ness of his life is his thoughtfulness. Throughout Season 2, especially after learning about John’s death-bed whisper, Sam has been doing his best to keep a steady course, and to see his job through the filter of “At Least I’m Doing Good In the World.” Sam cares about his own inner life in a way that Dean doesn’t. (That will change: but Dean will always be more interested in what is going on out there in the world rather than in his own heart. It’s too dangerous otherwise: he senses he could not bear it.) But Sam experiences the violence and then tries to react in a thoughtful way. He wants to do what he does in a conscious way, a reaction to his childhood where he was looped into this lunacy before he got to CHOOSE it. Sam knows now that he has chosen this. He’s trying to be okay with it. He’s not passive-aggressive or “you dragged me into this, Dean …” He’s a man, he takes responsibility for himself. But in “Heart,” he sees his life for what it really is, a bombed-out lunar landscape with no hope for anything to blossom. He’s, what, 25 years old? Jess might as well belong in another universe considering how far he has moved away from those dreams. Madison resurrects those dreams. Not just because of the sex: the resurrection happens before they take off their clothes. In her presence, Sam feels those yearnings again, for companionship, for a smart woman, for something outside of himself and hunting to take up his time. He lives in the hope of that for one cycle-of-the-earth only, before he has to give it up again. And this time he gives it up consciously, aware of WHAT he is giving up, and it’s almost too much to bear. It’s too much for Dean to bear, having to witness it (see #2 again).

4. Sam’s celibacy. “Provenance” started to tip-toe, in a friendly humorous way, into that territory, with Dean as the worried guide. Sam is a young man. He loved once, and lost big. The celibacy was part of the year-long grieving process. Getting out there again, even just pursuing sex, would feel like a betrayal. Talk about an electrical-feeling in the air of tension, of something huge approaching. When Sam goes for it, he goes for it.

These are all very long Arcs, and they are Arcs the show is still exploring. I’d say they are the core Arcs. Sometimes these themes lead them to do good. Sometimes these themes lead them to fuck up. They betray one another. They betray their goals and their core beliefs because of all of these themes. Sometimes one surges forward as THE theme, and then it subsides, allowing another theme to rise.

This is just good television, of course, especially if you’re in it for the long haul, as Supernatural clearly is (and was: in Season 2, more than Season 1, you can feel them putting all of their cards on the table). But it’s also Like Life. We all have Themes that work on us, that make us do what we do. It’s different for everyone. If you have siblings, that impacts who you are in the world. If you’ve lost a parent, you act out of that situation, and it changes the course of your life. If you had a bad childhood, that shadow lasts forever. How we react depends on the circumstance, but we all have about 2 or 3 things that define us.

“Heart” puts them all in one place.

Teaser

Like “Nightshifter,” like “Roadkill,” “Heart” depends on its main guest star to do the majority of the heavy lifting on the episode. If you don’t have an effective or believable Madison, you don’t have “Heart.” Jared Padalecki cannot act in a vacuum. Similar to the advent of Cassie in “Racist Monster Truck” in Season 1. Who Cassie is, and what the actress brings to it (over-complicated teapot behavior and all) not only adds a welcome female element to this macho show, BUT it helps us understand who DEAN is, which was really the point of that mostly ridiculous episode. Let’s delve into who Dean is (and, yeah, let’s do it using the history of racism in America. What?). And to do that, Cassie needs to be great, defy our expectations/assumptions, surprise us as much as she surprises Sam.

Of course we all know this from life too. Who someone “picks” is eloquent of who they are. We all have preferences. We are drawn to certain things, pheromenally and emotionally. Both Sam and Dean respond to substantial women. Supernatural is very good at setting up a character (especially in these teasers and one-offs) in one or two well-placed details. The Teaser shows us what Madison’s life is like, but more importantly, it shows us her character. And Emmanuelle Vaugier “brings it.”

So what do we get in the Teaser?

1. Swooping panning shot through a crowded bar, with swirling extras, waitresses and patrons, swooping through and moving on, as the camera zooms in on Madison having drinks with friends, and giggling. They’re all cute women, and they’re good friends. Hence: Madison is the kind of person who nurtures her friendships and likes to have fun. This will be important information, a counter-balance to all of the grim things in her life.

2. Her boss comes over to her, and, in front of the group of friends, asks Madison to come back to the office to go over some things. It is a brazen come-on. But what is important is not the workplace sexual harassment, at least not in this moment. What is important is Madison’s reaction to it. She laughs, almost patiently, like, “I know, I know, you can’t help yourself,” and says she will call him a cab. All of her friends look on, watching Madison handle this man, with grace. Naturally, all of this will be undercut by what goes on after the sun goes down, but this is Madison’s conscious and aware self in operation. The werewolf is her subconscious. So. Her conscious self does not shiver with horror, she does not race home and write an outraged op-ed for Jezebel. She handles him. She hands him his hat, gets rid of him, and she does so without compromising her own power. What this says to me (and this will become clear when she opens up to Sam on the couch later) is that Madison has made a choice of who she wants to be in the world – despite her circumstances (which are terrible, once we get a glimpse of them). She lives with this bozo on a day to day basis: it’s like Mad Men at her office. I would not say that the end of the teaser and what it implies discounts what we see in this earlier moment at the bar, especially once we learn more about Madison’s history with men. She is used to this bullshit and she has found a way to survive it that works for her. This is the part of Madison that Sam really responds to. Again: don’t knock it till you need it. This is the Howard Hawks Woman thing I discussed in the “No Exit” re-cap. It’s not that there isn’t a place in the world for sensitive women, for shy women, for serious women, etc. I want us all to be happy. But in the world of Supernatural, in this particular genre, only a Howard Hawks woman has a chance of survival (and keeping Sam and Dean’s interest. This will be true of all of the women who come into their lives. Jo, Ellen, Pamela, Lisa, Amelia, Charlie, and all the one-offs, including my favorite one, Melanie the psychic. To stick with the genre trappings, I see Sheriff Jodie as not a Howard Hawks woman so much as a cheerful Can-Do Doris Day type: Underestimate her, and Doris Day, at your peril.)

3. Once she diffuses the sexual-harassment bomb of her boss (and he takes it – they’ve been over this territory before), she catches a glimpse of a gloomy-looking guy sitting across the bar, staring at her. You can see her stomach drop to her feet, you can see the blood drain from her face. This is not akin to the humorous swipe she gives her boss. This is fear and dread. One of her friends asks her what’s wrong, and when she glances back, the gloomy guy is gone. We learn later that this is her stalker ex-boyfriend. However, in this moment, not even knowing the full story, we understand she knows him, we understand that this too is familiar territory: she’s been here before, she knows it. Madison is a woman who lives in a world of men who leer at her, and press in on her. They are everywhere. She can’t even enjoy a happy hour with friends without it being ruined. She gets it from all sides. She was able to laugh off her boss’ come-on, but this she can’t laugh off.

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In less than one-minute of screen time we have an entire life, an entire backstory. I’m invested. It’s filmed gorgeously (Kim Manners in a high baroque stage throughout), but why it really works is because of her nuanced performance from the start. That’s a lot to get in in an extremely short amount of time.

ALSO (added later: I didn’t say this originally, even though I thought it, because I thought it might make people mad, but whatever, I’m a realist – the “we deserve to feel safe at every minute of the day” brand of feminist speak seems really unrealistic and also puts women in danger: because you’re living in a Utopia, you need to realize your Utopia does not exist, and you need to be ready to defend/protect yourself. Yes, it’s unfair. But … grow up, I guess? Sorry.): I think it’s okay to talk about personal safety and that women need to be in charge of that for themselves. As much as possible. You’re a grown-up. Learn some tools/techniques for dealing with predators. They actually work. Predators look for victim-like behavior. They can smell it. Years ago, I worked in a security office for about a year in Chicago and all of the cops gave me self-defense lessons on my lunch break, because I was young and wild and dressed like a kinder-whore. If you will remember the term. Answering the phones in my tiny kilt, plastic barrettes, ripped stockings, and combat boots. With a hickey on my neck. I mean, that was my life in my mid-20s. It was a blast. The Chicago cops did not judge my young/wild/kinder-whore self, they did not tell me to stop dressing so provocatively, and not go out by myself at night, but they at least wanted to make sure I had some tips as I navigated by myself. One of the main things I remember is one cop saying to me, after pinning me to the ground in the lunch room (ha!) is: “Don’t ever let someone move you to Point B. Make a big fucking scene at Point A. Girls usually don’t survive Point B. Point B is where girls die. So if there’s going to be an assault, try to keep it at Point A, fight like hell to keep it at Point A, and make as big a scene as you’ve ever made in your life. Because your life depends on it.” Never forgot that. I was assaulted about 3 weeks ago. It was quick and furious and he hurt my breasts, and I screamed in his face and punched his torso. People turned and looked. It was a crowded street. I did not cry. I punched. Now, a real psycho might have dragged me off to Point B, but I took the risk, in the moment, like an animal. I fought back. It was my Point A. It was horrible, but whatever, it’s a horrible fucking world. That’s not the worst that has happened to me, but I have learned my lessons. Thank you, big barrel-chested Chicago-accented policeman so many years ago. This is not to second-guess women’s behavior, all right? Yes, it would be wonderful if we were all safe and could go wherever we want whenever we want, and we could be buck-naked in the streets and nobody would harm us. Nobody DESERVES to be assaulted, come on now, but it certainly FEELS better to know you have at least SOME skills in fighting someone off (don’t go for the nuts. Go for the eyes. And carry pepper spray.) So: She gets up and leaves, knowing her stalker scary boyfriend is probably still close by, and she walks to her car by herself through a dark empty parking lot. Now this is the horror genre, and women are always doing dumb things in the horror genre, isolating themselves when they should cling to being in a group. But I’m just going with what’s onscreen and trying to understand her character. To me, she is smart and independent, but she is also a bit reckless. Understandable – no one WANTS to admit they’re scared – but still: reckless. Unfortunately, this kind of talk gets labeled as “blaming the victim” when I see it as Women need to take charge, as much as possible, and empower themselves in a dangerous world. It HELPS, y’all. She walks through a dangerous neighborhood by herself late at night. She doesn’t say to her friends, “Hey I’m scared, would you guys walk me to my car?” She’s a bit reckless. Predators sense that. She isolates herself, so that Kurt and she are in a private dance. He counts on that. Most stalkers do.

Madison is a woman who attracts predatory men. During the 4 years following my dad’s death, I was vulnerable and messed up. Therefore I attracted full-on sociopaths. I’m still coming out of it now. Madison has probably had a tough life. You don’t get that tough and that capable without experiencing some hard knocks. She thought her boyfriend was nice because he presented as nice in the beginning. They all do. Her boss hits on her every day. If Sam wasn’t who he is, then her experience with him might have been chalked up to just another leering guy who wants to get laid. (Uhm, Dean?)

And when she does “wolf out,” who does she go for? The predatory men. Because at night, when the moon is right, SHE gets to be the predator. But in her waking life, which is no less true, her survival techniques (grace, humor, brushing-things-off, consciously choosing how to react to things) have served her well.

And my final observation about the teaser:

Those kinds of coffee pots do not shatter.

1st scene

The charming scene with the adorable coroner shows a twitchy Sam, holding back some very big aggressive energy. His adrenaline is through the roof. I think it also ties into the Beast he becomes later, the first glimpse of Sam in a SexyPants Situation. I admit, the first time I saw the episode, and that scene, it knocked me flat. I mean, I had been concerned about Sam’s celibacy for some time (because I have no life), but I was super impressed with the Take-Charge He-Man Sam was in the sack. I underestimated him! You go, Sam! He flies solo at the morgue, and he appears almost pissed. (Sexual repression can do that to you.) He’s not pissed, not particularly, but all the shit he’s got going on makes him appear pissed. A werewolf! He KNEW it.

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Meanwhile, back at the China Sea Motel, complete with happy mural of a Chinese fishing village (oh, Jerry Wanek …), Dean cleans his gun in preparation, geeking out at the thought of a werewolf. A werewolf! “We haven’t seen one of them since we were kids!” he gushes.

Sam is the lead on this case, having put together some weird pieces of information connected to the lunar cycle. Dean’s enthusiasm is greeted with Sam’s scorn and practically derision. Dean doesn’t care. Dean is also psyched because, unlike with some of the other monsters they encounter, they already know how to kill a werewolf.

Kim Manners shoots the motel scene in a series of gentle swooping arcs, arcs that go in different directions and then almost meet. I could draw it in a diagram probably. It opens with the camera circling on past Dean’s face, then circles around back to include Sam. There are more. I’ve been watching The X-Files, and Manners did way more episodes there than he did on Supernatural, and I always look for those circular camera moves. They aren’t flashy. You barely notice them. They are usually character-driven as opposed to plot/scenery driven (although he does those too). Two people talking is not necessarily interesting, even with good actors. I just reviewed a terrible movie called Mad Women, made up of a series of interminable scenes featuring two people talking. The director either showed both characters in longish shot, both of them in the frame, with no cuts. Or he showed the person talking in a big closeup, a giant talking head. Boring. You have to somehow create a sense of LIFE with your camera moves, not to mention putting something visually interesting on the screen. People talking, when the script is good and the characters are good, is the most interesting thing in the world: the camera moves should HELP that. Manners is a master at that, one of the best. The scene in the China Sea Motel is a really short one, exposition really, but I love every cut, every closeup, every swooping arc.

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2nd scene

The 2nd scene begins with Madison saying one of my favorite recurring lines on the show: “But I already gave my statement to the police …”

Dean, with a wisecracking shit-eating grin, introduces themselves as Detective Landis and Detective Dante. When I see that smile on Dean’s face, I get nervous, because I know things are about to get awkward. And he has no one but himself to blame. And also: Landis? I mean, who else is named Landis except John Landis? Dean, the movie-fan, has given himself and Sam fake names based on directors who directed werewolf movies. (I’ve seen both, and love both, although my favorite werewolf movie is Werewolf in Washington, starring Dean Stockwell, my favorite living actor. SEE it if you haven’t already. It’s a political satire, made during the Nixon era. Stockwell looks just like John Dean in it, and he lives in the Watergate.)

Brad Dryborough plays Glen, Madison’s neighbor. It’s out of Central Casting. For do-gooder hippie Christian with a crush he doesn’t know how to manage.

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Dean would come right out and make a pass. Glen would love to do that, but can’t, and instead makes casseroles. And the T-shirt … Oh, Supernatural. As Glen goes to leave, Madison says, “Thanks for the casserole.” Dean’s comment: “How thoughtful.” This is gonna be rough. Pretty girls make Dean go into High Burlesque. It’s inevitable.

Once Glen exits, we get another nice swooping-arc of the camera as all three of them sit down at her dining room table. Madison is open and friendly, and you can clock Dean glancing at Sam as they sit. Who will take the lead here? The power-struggle is imminent. Dean just wants to flirt. Nobody’s getting laid enough in Supernatural. It comes out in weird ways.

As they ask her about Nate, her boss, she’s cautiously positive. “He was nice.” Her subtext is eloquent. Sam asks her to elaborate, and she says, “He would hit on anyone in a 5-mile radius, you know the type.” Sam looks appropriately serious, but nodding, like, “Yes, I do know the type” and then glances at Dean, who is laughing, in a practically cuddly way, sycophantic and oblivious, trying to weasel his way into her attention-span but also, totally not recognizing HIMSELF in her words. It’s hysterical.

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Sam, confronted with that familiar Dean spectacle (and it is a spectacle: Dean often makes a total spectacle of himself), says shortly, to her “You know the type” comment, “Yeah. I do, actually.” (ha.) Dean hears the tone, glances at Sam, and pipes down, gets himself together.

Ah, humor. I’ve said before that one of my favorite sibling-dynamic elements in the show is when a woman enters their Monastery of Manliness. We saw it in “Shadow,” with Dean being openly surprised that Meg barely looked at him. But it shows up in other ways. They rarely compete for the same woman (“Heart” is different in that respect), but there’s also a Wingman Dynamic that happens, with Dean playing Wingman to Sam. Sam is a much better Wingman, because he doesn’t make a spectacle of it (as Dean does in “Heart”), but there’s awkwardness there sometimes too (Sam exiting Dean and Jo’s tete-a-tete with, “I’ve gotta go over there … right now …” Smooth.) These two grown guys dealing with women, and coming onto women, and how to negotiate that (especially since they both live in the same motel room), is so funny to me, adding a very human element to a supernatural-inspired show. I like to remember that these two guys did not have normal teenage years. Any normalcy was destroyed by the way John raised them. Dean’s only whiff of normalcy was when he was in the boys’ home, which says a lot. Girls and dating and all that would be a strange thing, and John would probably advise them to remain unattached, due to safety reasons. But here they are, grown men, sans dad, and they have to figure it out on their own. There’s still an adolescent feeling to it, though, which is not a surprise since they never had a proper adolescence. All of that is kicked into high gear in “Heart” when Sam suddenly decides that he is going to go for Madison, and for once he won’t let Dean steal the spotlight. Dean gives in, good-naturedly, because he – like me – thinks Sam should be having more sex. It’s all beautifully human. The show needs that human-ness.

Once Madison reveals that her ex-boyfriend Kurt has been stalking her, the mood changes. Dean drops the Burlesque. He’s in control of it. In that moment, she becomes a person. Sometimes it takes Dean a second: he has to get himself out of the way. Sam’s eyes squint up, briefly, as he listens to her (one of my favorite Jared-Padelecki-thinking behavioral tics). He’s taking it all in, taking her in, in that thoughtful Sam way.

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Once they take off, to go look up Kurt, Madison, with a heavy sigh, putters around in her kitchen, and, in glancing out the window, sees Kurt on the sidewalk staring up at her. It’s horrible. If you’ve been stalked, you know that helpless sinking feeling.

One of the subtle things I love about “Heart” is something I’ve already mentioned: Madison, in her everyday conscious self, has found ways to manage predators, although Kurt is still a problem. She’s doing the best she can. She’s scared but her life continues. But then at night, when she “wolfs out”, who does she go after? These threats. The buried rage of women. Police can’t do anything about casual sexual harassment or stalking. How many stalkers break the restraining orders? Women are not stupid. There’s a reason they try to handle things themselves. Nobody WANTS to be a victim. Madison is not a sweet woman, I wouldn’t characterize her that way. I would says she was smart, capable, and deeply disturbed about Kurt. She has managed herself in the world so well up until this point. But I love that conscious/unconscious split. She’s not going after randoms. She targets the men who scare her.

The final moment of the scene is Madison slowly sitting down by the window, lost in thought. It’s a beautiful close-up with a slow pan in. Her face. What do we see on it?

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Well, that depends. Her expression changes once you know the truth about what happens to her when the moon rises. But it’s a beautifully deep expression.

3rd scene

Damn, who knew body-shop work pays so well? Considering the high-rise swank apartment Kurt lives in (especially in a city ranked as one of the most expensive in America, whose rents rival New York City’s), his body shop must have only high-end clients.

Dean and Sam break in. The colors are dark and silver. Silver photo frames, silver fridge. Dean is seen through some sort of distorted cam across the room, Madison crouching behind the table, a sentient werewolf. Pretty creepy when you think about it. The apartment is pristine. He has “nice” artwork on the walls, what the hell Jerry Wanek with the pointing leg painting?

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A sound brings them both out onto the balcony. Again, Kurt, what’s up, do you have a trust fund? Clearly he had to live high up in order to have the cool effect of claw marks going down the outside wall, but still.

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A helicopter roars by overhead, marking the segue to the scene below, with the poor-bastard-cop-on-the-beat getting eaten by a werewolf (Madison) behind the dumpster. She had been hoping to bust Kurt in his home – but curses, foiled again! The moment is shown from her point of view: very effective.

When the cop’s gun goes off, Sam and Dean hear it … 10 stories up. Again, with all the silver in Kurt’s apartment. It’s great, because the scene is so dark but the silver picks up the gleam of the light sources. The environment looks cold.

Sam and Dean race into the alley to find the heart-less cop, and as they appear, there are some very nice Leg-Moments, people. Legs, legs, legs, long, bow-legged, akimbo, in action.

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3rd scene

In a casually beautiful shot (Sam and Dean dark against Madison’s white door), Sam raps on Madison’s door, as Dean lurks off to the side.

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I love how the power dynamic shifts. Sometimes they argue about who is Top Dog, sometimes it just flows back and forth.

When Glen (wearing the same T-shirt: we get it, dude, you work at a church, enough) opens the door across the way, Sam and Dean turn their faces camera-side, in a classic Supernatural moment. Serge Ladouceur loves their faces and lights them beautifully; Manners loves to highlight them, especially in the same frame.

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Dean tries to shut Glen down, alpha-male-style, and when Madison opens the door there’s a great shot with all four of them in the frame, Glen a worried blur in the background. What’s great about it is this: Glen’s door is white and the interior walls of his apartment are white. He is wearing a white T-shirt. He GLOWS back there, becoming the focal point of the shot. Sam and Dean, the heroes, are – in comparison – dark looming silhouetted figures.

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Supernatural does this all the time: filming the heroes the way villains are usually filmed. It adds depth and texture to what could be an uninteresting (Sam and Dean = good) scenario.

With another huge Pyrex coffee pot, the TEENY-TINY Madison pours the TWO GIGANTIC MEN coffee. I mean, look at the height discrepancy.

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Dean’s just holding out his cup and she has to reach UP to fill it.

I’ll just speak frankly for a second (what a shock): Big strong men have a responsibility to use their strength wisely and strategically. Otherwise they can be very intimidating. This is especially true in a sexual context. One of the pleasures of cinema is watching a big gruff man be gentle with a woman. See: John Wayne. These types reserve their strength for bullies who deserve it. (Heroes do, anyway.) Sam is HUGE, and way more buff than Dean. His biceps have freakin’ veins in them. He could probably kill you with one well-placed punch. And he’s a maniac in the sack, which is awesome (and surprising – I talked about the differences in Dean and Sam’s sexuality in my first post about Supernatural) – but he knows how to use his strength in a way that won’t hurt her. This is very pleasing stuff.

They ask her if she’s seen Kurt and she says, “Not exactly.” Dean says, “What exactly does ‘not exactly’ mean” with a slight laugh in it. Not a mean or contemptuous laugh, although Sam does glance over. It’s a nice human laugh. And when she elaborates, Dean listens seriously. Dean’s a hound-dog but he is not a creeper. He gets a woman on his own steam, never barging his way in where he is clearly not wanted.

However: this vibe is destabilized immediately when he says, “One of us should probably stay here with you …” with a little light in his eyes. Uh-oh. As Madison leaves to get the address of Kurt’s body shop, Sam turns to watch her go, a giant hulking figure in that small kitchen, and Dean, too, turns to give her the once-over. All in one shot. Brothers. Horn-dogs. Fake detectives. All is right with the world. Dean turns to look back up at Sam with a proud “this is gonna be fun” look – BAH! NO! Stop being so open!

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Sam, who has more plausible deniability skills (i.e.: let’s not just be totally transparent about wanting to hang out with a pretty woman – let’s at least pretend that our justifications are airtight, so we can keep our heads up), turns to Dean and says, all-business, “You go. I’ll stay.” Dean nixes it, swaggering and easy (watch that body language, it’s so ridiculous – with the dead smiling eyes – it’s cracking me up), “You go find the creepy ex. I’m gonna hang out here with the hot chick.” This is too much for Sam, who abandons his professionalism/plausible deniability, and becomes 12 years old in an instant: “Dude, why do you always get to hang out with the girls?”

Now watch. Watch Ackles’ line-reading/behavior of the next moment. The line is: “Because I’m older” which is funny, I guess, in a shallow way, but Ackles, with the perfectly-timed sip of coffee, the deep-flat-affect of his tone, and the realistic isn’t-it-obvious eyebrow raise at the end, makes it hilarious. I laugh every time it comes up. Because Ackles does not protect himself, you see? Dean can be a childish moron, and Ackles gravitates towards the moments that show that. I don’t want to overthink it: it’s also just Ackles having a sixth sense for what is funny. But it’s also an appreciation/willingness for the moments when Dean doesn’t have a leg to stand on. He welcomes the opportunity to show that. (Many many actors cannot manage this. They protect themselves throughout.) The apex of this is “Frontierland” where Dean is so needy and vulnerable (and universally unsuccessful in the impression he wants to make) that I can barely watch it, I’m so embarrassed for him.

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Now comes a legendary moment, and represents for me another “hook,” which I’ve gone into before – those moments when the series “got” me. It was a long process, although the hooks came early (the first one being “Phantom Traveler“: it’s the comedy that’s the real hook.) It’s not just that they play rock-paper-scissors to settle the argument. That’s funny, in and of itself, and charming. But it’s Sam’s line: “Dean. ALWAYS with the scissors.” that makes me go CANNAH TAKE IT. Dean always picks scissors.

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They’re both so competitive. It’s great.

Dean is a cunning intelligent man, who is able to improvise in the midst of highly stressful situations, and yet – for his entire life – he cannot stop himself from picking “scissors.” And Sam KNOWS this, so all he has to do is pick something else and he knows he will win. Brilliant. And Dean, embarrassed and revealed, asks to do it again, and AGAIN he picks “scissors” – with an almost mortified look on his face as he does it. A mortified “OMG I can’t stop the scissors” and yet also “take THAT” look, the combination of which makes it even more funny.

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Now comes the awkward montage of Sam hanging out with Madison. Sam and Dean go together, right? They are mostly in scenes together, and so we see them working in tandem, and their personalities adjust to the fact that they are with a sibling. I love the moments when they split up and we get to see who they are without that constant family presence at their side. All kinds of interesting things come up.

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And now, some words on Jared Padalecki:

He’s a hunk. He’s basically a centaur. To “buy” him as an awkward bookish guy, unsure of how to talk to girls, is essential. And that’s on him, as an actor. How many hunks try to play shy and just can’t do it? Perhaps the pinnacle of such a thing is Cary Grant, the most beautiful man who has ever lived, perhaps, playing a bumbling asexual goofball in Bringing Up Baby.

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The big cowboy Gary Cooper also did wonderfully in Ball of Fire, playing a stuffy celibate professor of linguistics (linguistics? Gary Cooper? Ha!) who suddenly finds himself in love with a wise-cracking showgirl (Barbara Stanwyck).

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Henry Fonda also pulled it off, hilariously, in Lady Eve, playing a bumbling awkward nerd, again with Stanwyck as the perfect mate.

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These are leading men, these are Hollywood stars, meaning that the majority of women (and gay) moviegoers, find them attractive and appealing. But somehow you have to buy the fact that Grant/Cooper/Fonda have no luck with women, can’t speak to a woman without stuttering, literally fall down flights of stairs trying to look cool. It works. Perhaps it works because it takes these gorgeous specimens down a peg, and there’s a certain level of hostility towards those Freaks of Nature who are more beautiful than the rest of us. Hitchcock certainly gloried in “dirtying” Cary Grant up.

This is not to say that handsome men don’t have their own problems and issues. We’re all human. But I’m talking about what’s onscreen, the visual information we get, the responses we have to Beauty. Jared Padalecki is gorgeous. His overall persona is thoughtful, and somewhat dry: his humor especially. He can make a joke by lifting an eyebrow. His work is extremely subtle. Like Dean, like John, he doesn’t talk about what’s going on with him all that much. He keeps that private (smart move). He doesn’t WANT to be Dean, Dean’s Dean-ish-ness wouldn’t work for him. But here he is, sitting awkwardly in Madison’s apartment, not knowing how to talk. In a way, that’s good because, yeah, you’re protecting a woman from a stalker. Hitting on her would be pretty bad form, right?

In this opening sequence, as Madison teasingly walks around him, dumping out her underwear on the table right in front of him, Sam is basically wordless. He doesn’t know how to make small talk. He doesn’t know how to flirt. He is awkward and can barely look at her directly. Padalecki, the centaur, makes that believable. Sam is out of practice. Or maybe he never had practice. He hooked up with Jess, and that was it. To contrast, Dean would probably be behaving mortifyingly if he had won the rock-paper-scissors game! And Madison would end up treating him like she treated her drunk boss: “Okay, okay, pallie, settle down.”

And that’s another interesting element of this scene: Madison. When Sam says later, “You’re … unusual.” … by that point, we can see what he means. Sera Gamble’s script is sharp enough and clear enough that we get that.

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… and nobody defines Madison FOR her. We may expect her to be traumatized, and find Sam’s teenage-staring inappropriate or intrusive. Madison is made of stronger stuff than that. Besides, she likes him. She’s ready to trust him. Kurt was nice too, at the start. So she’s willing to take a risk, she’s willing to believe that Sam is nice, and won’t turn on her. It takes a certain kind of person to maintain a core self, despite circumstances.

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Currently, Sam is more afraid of the underwear than he is of monsters.

She notices those looks, the behavior, tries to loosen him up via her silky teensy underwear. Sam stands, “You know what, I think I will sit on the coach,” and off he goes, leaving Madison smiling to herself. When Sam sits down behind her, we get a giant Manners-closeup, with her in the background. He looks terrified and repressed.

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Dean calls, and the Burlesque is strong! He leaps right in: “Lemme guess … you’re sitting on the couch like a stiff trying to think of something to say.” It is both annoying (nobody really wants to be clocked on shit like this – it makes you feel predictable) and charming in its big-brotherly aspect. Sam, unsurprisingly, ignores it and asks about Kurt. Dean is on his way back to the Impala, blabbing about how he’s “really really good” – and it’s fun, because (broken record! Sorry!) – Dean, in a weird way, is excellent company for himself because of his “I Am Starring in An Awesome Movie As Myself And It Is Awesome” thing. He may have lost the rock-paper-scissors game but he is now strutting around through his life, enjoying his own awesome-ness, and – AND – to make it even better, he is headed off to a strip club. Life is good. This part of Dean’s personality has not survived, really: it died in the emotional brutality of Season 9. But it came back as Demon Dean, and it’ll come back again. That attitude is more than just an attitude, it is a personality trait. It’s not just macho swagger braggy stuff. He’s getting a kick out of himself. Consider how much his life sucks. It’s no small thing that he walks around with that kind of core (making him similar to Madison, in a way, although it manifests differently.)

Once Dean lost the game, he’s not bitter. Please. He can get a girl every night of the week. Sammy might need a little push, a little teasing, talk to her, go for it, say something, just start to talk.

“What’s she wearing?”
“Bye, Dean.”

The “Oh, Sammy …”, said by Dean to himself, with an almost fatherly laugh, is so touching to me – because it’s humorous, affectionate, Big Brother.

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Madison comes over to the couch, grabs the remote, sits down and clicks on the TV. Jared Padalecki gives Sam a symphony of silent reactions, all beautiful, all so obvious you want to tell him to get a better game-face! But if he had a better game-face he wouldn’t be as adorable as he is. Padalecki plays it just right. He doesn’t over-play it. He’s not “acting” uncomfortable: he IS uncomfortable. It’s a fine line but it separates amateurish acting from professional acting.

Once the soap opera comes on, Sam cannot contain a little sigh, a glance to the ceiling, full of humor, but natural. He’s sitting here watching a soap opera now. Dean is going to KILL HIM.

Madison clocks the look, and gives Sam the drill. I love her language: “I never get to watch my show.” This is how women talk about “their” soaps. Or at least they did when soaps were still a thing. You had your “show.” Only one. Because all the times conflicted. And if you had to work, you couldn’t watch your show. But I love Sam’s face as she scolds him. The smile. The “okay okay”. He loves it. The vibe, despite the awkwardness, is comfortable to him. He likes her for scolding him. It’s hot. It’s intimate in a domestic way. That’s what Sam wants.

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We get a small time-jump and then hear the ending credits of her show (which is All My Children, by the way. My “show”, when I had a show, was General Hospital) roll. Sam is now sitting all the way forward on the couch, totally engrossed. He’s pissed at one of the characters. He can’t believe the injustice of what just happened on the show. And I am laughing out loud. It’s a lovely moment where the playing-field levels, and the macho-thing (so important to the appeal of the show) is undercut. They both relax. Sam is still overly aware of her presence, which makes him hesitate to speak out, but he knows he wants to talk to her. He feels like he can now.

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During the following conversation when they get to know each other, his closeups are not only to die for, but his acting is natural, nuanced, and filled with thought. Sam doesn’t just blurt things out (like someone else we know). He chooses his words. This is really in evidence here, when 1. he doesn’t want to offend her and 2. he wants to kiss her and 3. he wants to kiss her without offending her. You know, he’s got a lot going on. His interest in her is sincere. Compare to Dean’s “It’s lonely on the road when you’re a G-man” pick-up line. I’m making fun and Dean obviously is capable of being sincere, but at this point, except for Cassie, we haven’t seen it. Therefore: it doesn’t exist. Or it only exists in the most narrow of circumstances, which is a love relationship, which as far as we know at this point, Dean has only had one. I try to go only with what is onscreen, and I try to forget that I know the whole story when doing these re-caps. Maybe that’s a silly challenge to put on myself, but I enjoy it. I always get the sense that when Dean falls, he has to fall ALL the way. His high school girlfriend. Cassie. He can’t date, for God’s sake, because when he gets involved, it’s all the damn way. Who needs that shit? I speak from experience. Sam was able to go through a whole years-long relationship with Jess without divulging who he was and his past. Three weeks into dating Cassie, Dean had to ‘fess up. He couldn’t bear it otherwise. It’s an interesting flip-flop in what we might expect, right? The show is really good at messing with our expectations. But anyway, in the meantime, just for kicks, Dean hits on someone by pretending to be a lonely G-man, and it’s self-dramatizing and bull-shit, and it also looks like Dean is having fun with it, he can barely keep a straight face, but it works, so no harm, no foul. That’s what I see onscreen. I see him fucking around, trying to deal with his boredom, and trying to set up a hook-up. Playing a role. This is just my personal taste, so take it or leave it: a lot of the commentary on Dean is very schmoopy-woopy “poor baby” stuff. Some of the commentary is so sentimental I don’t even recognize the character. Of course if it pleases you to see him that way, then have at it! Schmoopy him up! For me: The man is filled with pain/angst, yes, but he is also a goofball. Who is, on occasion, so awkward I want to hide my eyes. Who loves steam showers and burgers and getting naked. These are not defense mechanisms. These are successful survival techniques. ALSO: at this point in the series, Dean’s pleasure-points are still alive and well. Now? Not so much. I get it, people LOVE Dean and feel protective of him. I love him as a character but also see no need to protect him. It’s more interesting for me that way. Besides, back to the original point, based on what is onscreen Ackles is totally aware of Dean’s crazy quirks and obnoxious behavior, and he doesn’t apologize for them. As a matter of fact, he RUNS towards playing those moments. Who else could make all of these contradictions make sense?)

See how Dean has a way of butting into Sam’s narrative? I take full responsibility for that. Get OUT of here Dean.

As always, what I find so attractive about Padalecki’s acting is how he listens. His listening is outward-focused. He is not acting like he is listening. He is present. So my favorite shots of him are where she is talking to him, off-screen, and we get to watch him listen. This is Padalecki “in the zone.” It’s his sweet spot as an actor.

This scene is important. “Heart” has one of those one-off relationships, contained within an episode. Supernatural doesn’t do that much. Usually, there is some continuity that goes beyond, with the women these guys fall for. Cassie being a notable exception. Jess is mentioned repeatedly. She still is. There’s Lisa. There’s Amelia. Dean has hook-ups, but those aren’t the same thing as what goes on in “Heart”, which is a deep and complete relationship that occurs over a 24-hour period. I actually like that Supernatural doesn’t really do the “I’m in love with this girl in Idaho and then we never see her again” brand of episodic television. It’s more sophisticated than that. But here we are, and “Heart” is a one-off, and it has to land. Madison will be mentioned again so there is continuity there. In order for “Heart” to work, this relationship MUST be real. We have to get it. If we don’t, then the last scene, and Sam’s reaction in particular, will seem overblown. Like, stop crying, what the hell, dude. There must be significance to what happens. And it has to happen fast.

Both actors make it work, through an air of trust, sizzling with attraction, between them. He is asking her to open up. She complies, giving him even more than he asked for. It is a deep conversation about changing your life, about how things take bad turns and you can’t plan for it, how you have to choose who you want to be, and then try to be it. Sam listens to her talk, engrossed, agog practically.

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Obviously, he’s attracted to her, and he likes strong significant women. He has noticed that she has a lot of “great books” which makes me go, “Oh, Sam, I love you!” because that’s the first thing I notice when I go into someone’s apartment too. Their books! It says almost everything I need to know about a person! So he’s clocked her on that. He LIKES that. He brings it up. But there’s more than attraction going on here, at least I see more in how he listens to her, in the words he chooses to describe her: “unusual.” “Impressive.” (And watch Padalecki search for those words, with a residual hint of shyness, because maybe he’s going too far, or maybe she won’t like those words.) But the fact that THESE are the words he comes up with …

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Great script, Gamble. Love you.

So we need to see that, from her. Unusual. Impressive. And we do.

And in that word, “impressive” is the glimpse of something deeper, something that’s certainly been building in Sam for almost 2 seasons now. Madison has a lot of challenges and she circulates in a dangerous world. But she has turned it into something motivational. Being mugged helped her change her life. She broke up with Kurt. She cut that tie. A horrible thing was the inspiration for her to understand who she wanted to be. That, to Sam, is amazing. Could he get a little bit of that philosophy? He needs it. He is impressed with her. She is not taken aback by his clear interest in her. She maintains her control over herself, but she is also open to how he looks at her. Watch how her body language relaxes.

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The way he looks at her, the open accessible way he listens, makes her feel safe. In one reaction shot from him, as she talks about how everything opened up and “blossomed” for her, he nods a little bit, closing his eyes. It’s an expression filled with unsaid things and she picks up on it. “What?”

This is beautiful scene work from these two actors. A great collaboration. It helps make the rest of the episode possible. (Especially since Sam doesn’t make his move until much later. And really, she makes the first move. But once she bridges that gap, Sam lets his own Monster out. He’s been wanting to do that from the get-go.) But Sam has a sense of pacing, and is sensitive to the reality of the moment. It’s not time to move in yet. It’s not just shyness in operation. It’s an awareness of the subtext of the moment, its unique energy. Talking with her, listening to her, is enough.

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Dean calls. When Sam picks up, you can hear the grind of music coming through the phone. He’s at the strip club, seated across from Kurt, and staring up at a stripper, whose legs and glass heels dominate the foreground. He hands her some crumpled-up dollars.

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Listen, I’ve seen Magic Mike XXL 4 times. I don’t judge.

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Moonrise. Sound of crickets. Sam stands watch. Madison says good night. There’s palpable delicious awkwardness. Bed. Right over there. Sam says, straight-up, “If you hear anything, if you wake up, just call out …” and for a second it seems like he will say more, but he leaves it at that. It’s one of my favorite moments. There’s a slight smile on his face, an embarrassment, at her closeness, at his desire for her, at the openness of his words. It’s vulnerable, and she sees it. She sees that look. What a sweet man. Then he says, “Okay …” and watch for the tiny moment of anxiety/confusion. I’m in this thing for the behavior, people. Elia Kazan said that acting was “psychology turned into behavior” and it doesn’t get any more true than that. That’s what’s going on in this tiny moment, why it feels so rich.

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Sam watches her go, his face alight with polite “Good night” stuff, which immediately vanishes once she’s gone. Dammit, you wanted to make a move, why can’t you make a move, what is your problem, you’re gonna hear it from Dean … all of it is in his deadpan face.

Time lapse. Sam’s watching 3:10 to Yuma, a great Western (remade with Russell Crowe and Christian Bale), starring Glenn Ford (yum) and Van Heflin (another yum).

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Of course Sam is watching an old Western. Dean isn’t the only one who was raised on old movies played on local television, complete with fuzzy static. This was how I was introduced to the Old Movie Love myself, in the days before TCM. 3:10 to Yuma tells the tale of a couple of people who witnessed a stagecoach robbing and didn’t do anything about it because they were outnumbered. Interestingly enough, Glenn Ford plays one of the robbers, a tough criminal guy, who, in later scenes, is surprisingly and heart-crackingly tender with a woman he meets (played by Felicia Farr.)

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So, to take this into Supernatural and why it might have been picked for the thing Sam is watching in the dead of night: Glenn Ford’s character is a villain, who lives a bad and violent life. But there is a sweetness to his character that counteracts the villainy and is also sexy. Ford was wonderful at portraying that duality, and the performance is still effective in that “Villains We Love” category. One could see that Sam, who lives a violent life, and who could be seen by Madison (as indeed he is later) as a scary threat to her existence, could be in that bucket as well. This will become explicit in the later scenes, when Sam gives up his desire to be what he WANTS to be to her (a sweet nice guy, a good potential boyfriend) and accepts who he actually IS to her: a bad guy, a nightmare.

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Yay, it’s The Stooges! Iggy Pop, a real life werewolf, screaming and roaring! There’s a gigantic full moon in the sky, dark clouds around it, a huge construction crane stretching across it. It’s a Gothic image, pierced with modernity. Dean, all Burlesqued out from his front-row seat at the strip club, stands in an alley, waiting, outside Kurt’s apartment. Legs.

Dean’s gun behavior is a “thing of beauty and a joy forever.” He clicks the clip against the barrel, jams it in, all shot from below, so he looks like a killer. He is a killer. Engrossed in his physical action, he’s surprised when the sound of breaking class comes from Kurt’s apartment. The Stooges take over, roaring into the foreground, as Dean bursts into the apartment and comes across dead Kurt, with a werewolf hovering over him. A werewolf with long brown hair. Dean stops in his tracks, his face showing surprise, dismay, shock. Dean didn’t expect this one. He was sure it was Kurt. Even in the crisis of the moment, you can see a small flicker of, “Oh no. Sammy …” on his face.

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She roars at him, attacks him, knocking him over, his silver gun goes flying – as their guns always do – and then flees out the window, leaping off the balcony.

Dean is knocked out. For hours. I’m not sure why.

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Sunrise over San Francisco.

Sam stands at Madison’s sink, pouring a glass of water, when Dean calls, still at Kurt’s place, rubbing his head. The room behind Dean is trashed. Paintings askew. I like the detail of all the little model cars on the shelves. Kurt’s life, Kurt’s passion for cars, and … pointed red legs? I’m not sure…

Sam goes to check on Madison, who lies asleep in her bed, with some gigantic blue painting above the headboard. It looks like the painting in “Crossroad Blues.” A figure in white kneeling on a rock surrounded by blue. I’m always peering at the set decorations and missing moments so I have to rewind.

Madison doesn’t seem surprised to see Sam lurking at the door like a human thundercloud. On the contrary, she is cuddly, sleepy, welcoming, with her little, “Good morning …” As she sits up in bed, he sees the cut on her arm. At the same time, she realizes she’s naked and asks him where her pajamas are. So werewolves, when they wolf out, have the where-wolf-withal to take off their pajamas, change into blue jeans for the killing spree, and then, when they return home, take off all their clothes? Is that how it goes? Uh-huh. Okay. Sam doesn’t say a word. Walks away. I love how he doesn’t hesitate. I love how he goes to do what he has to do, no vestige of emotion for her on his face. He was, after all, raised by John Winchester. It is awesome when we get reminders of that.

Imagine what he looks like to Madison, who has no idea what is going on, why he is locking her in.

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She has allowed a monster into her life. AGAIN? Boy, I know that feeling.

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The next scene opens in a frankly phallic way, with Madison in a blur in the background, and a giant gun coming into the frame in the foreground.

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Poor Sam. He had a crush on this woman. Now he has to tie her up and train a gun on her. But when we see Sam, he does not seem upset, or hesitant, or like he’s sorry. He’s furious and cold. He doesn’t yet get that she hasn’t been lying, she truly does not know who she is. So he’s pissed. He had feelings for her. She tricked him. Meanwhile, Madison, too, is realizing she’s been tricked. She feels stupid. She should have known better.

I love the 360-degree circle around their figures. Watch how it flows. It’s almost restless, the camera refuses to stand still, too much is happening onscreen. The camera swoops around her, keeping her in closeup, before swooping around again, to include Sam coming close to her, and demanding to know where she got the cut on her arm. (Sidenote: I adore that he points at the wound with his gun. The gun is a natural extension of his own hand.) I love both of the guys’ gun behavior. For those of you just joining, this is from a woman who thought starting a series on her site called Gun Porn was a good idea. But after just one post (featuring screengrabs from Public Enemies, a great gun-porn movie), I started getting the weirdest Google searches in my search-terms, and thought better of it. Maybe if I named it something else it would be better? But “Gun Porn” had such a nice ring. My next movie on that list was going to be The American which is so delicious in re: the filming of guns that there’s an entire sequence showing George Clooney MAKING a gun. I understand the problem of gun violence. And the laws need to change. The loopholes closed. The situation is out of control. But that doesn’t have much to do with aesthetic appreciation of them as objects.

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Her emotions appear genuine. It’s a bit startling for him, you can see it, because it suggests she truly does not know what she did. Dean’s knock on the door interrupts the moment and Sam seems relieved. Without a word between the brothers (LOVE it), Dean enters the room. Walking at a normal pace, which I think is great. Once the monster reveals herself, he becomes cool as a cucumber: he knows who is/what to do in that scenario. Sam, though, saw something in Madison’s eyes. Dean does a big pantomime of rubbing his head AT Madison.

The hissed conversation in the kitchen between the brothers is almost as important to the whole as the “You’re … unusual” conversation on the couch. It’s the Moral Dilemma Argument. The black-and-white vs. grey-area argument that so often comes up between Sam and Dean. It’s a serious argument. It applies to many situations and is the underpinning conflict in their lives. When they discuss it, it gets heated, but it’s more like a moral debate than anything else. This is one of those “competence” scenes that we all keep talking about. Both men are right in their own ways. Both want to do the right thing. Ultimately, Dean is more right, but what is really striking is that he “gives” because Sam asks him to. And he gives more than he really wants to give. All of his instincts go against Sam’s argument. But watch his face, as he takes in Sam’s impassioned behavior, the fierce reminder that they need to do more research, they can’t kill an innocent woman who has no idea what is happening. This is not who we are.

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There are a couple of simple camera moves – look for them – Manners places these camera moves where there’s a beat-change. Other than that, it’s close-up to close-up time, baby. No one face is prioritized, an essential piece of information. If it was all Sam, then Dean’s argument would have been sidelined to some degree, the scales tipped in Sam’s favor. If it was all Dean, the impression would be the reverse: Sam is out of control, Dean is righteous. (Remember “Roadkill” where Dean was rarely shown in closeup because Dean was not a real part of the subtextual themes of that episode. He was peripheral.) But here: it’s back, forth, back, forth, back, forth.

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Reminiscent of “Croatoan,” and other episodes where Sam’s awareness of his own dark side, his awareness of the fact that he cannot separate himself from monsters with a clear conscience, has changed the battle-lines. Dean is still surprised by it when it comes up, and he’s taken aback here too. When Sam “relates” himself to Madison, Dean can’t even respond. This is what I mean when I say Dean is often more interested about what is going on out in the world as opposed to what’s going on in his heart/soul. He’s GOT a heart/soul, but he successfully contextualizes it so he can bear his own life. For the most part, Dean has honestly has put Sam’s potential evil-ness out of his mind. There are a couple of exceptions (“Born Under a Bad Sign”, of course, and then the explosion in “Houses of the Holy” with the scary tilted close-up), but those just prove the point. With a more talky-talky relationship, Dean would be bringing up the dark-side all the time, checking in with Sam, asking “How are you doing with all that?” That’s not Dean’s way.

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Normally Dean can override Sam. “Because I’m older.” That’s becoming more difficult. Sam is almost more stubborn than Dean is. Much of this is sibling-stuff, how adult siblings perceive each other, trying to let go the little child they once knew. Oh, wait, you’re a man now. That’s right. Watch Dean adjust. It’ll take him the rest of the episode.

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Sam interrogates her about the mugging incident, all as Dean, who suddenly looks short, watches from behind Sam. Sam, considerate (in a way), shows her that he is putting the gun down before coming over to inspect the bite-mark. Dean scoffs that it’s a “love-bite.” (I’m sorry but I have had many a hickey in my day and they never have looked like that.) Shot from below and behind Madison Dean circles around her, looking down. The interrogator. A classic Supernatural shot.

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Back in the kitchen, Sam and Dean have a pow-wow. The argument is still alive. Dean refers to Madison as “Maddy” at one point, casually and automatically. Sam hasn’t called her “Maddy” yet. This is Dean’s initiative. He never once used Molly’s name in “Roadkill.” By becoming a ghost Molly abdicated her right to be called by her own name. Here, though, something new has occurred. Sometimes when Dean uses nicknames, it’s rude, it’s a way to dismiss/diminish whomever he is talking to. Then, of course, there’s the “lady” “sister” thing which is Dean REALLY in rude-mode. But suddenly Madison the Werewolf is “Maddy.” It’s a throw-away line, really, but great because it is clear to everyone, Sam included, that Sam wants to save her – not just because she’s a human being who has no idea she is also a monster, but because he likes her, and feels something for her in his heart and in his jeans. Dean sees that, gets that, and doesn’t judge it. And so she becomes “Maddy.” This is brother’s potential girl. “Maddy” it is. It’s beautiful. To go even further with it, since it is out of character for Dean to throw around nicknames and not be rude about it, it’s almost a “welcome to the family” thing. Nicknames are a big deal in their world, remember. “Only he gets to call me Sammy.” I know that others were annoyed by Cole’s calling Dean “Dino,” but I think the clue to how we should react to that is Dean’s calm acceptance of it. He had seen into Cole’s heart, they had shared something together, he felt responsible for Cole, and Cole earned the right to call him anything he liked. I liked it. So she’s “Maddy” because Sam likes her.

When Sam pleads, “Dean, please. We can save this girl,” watch Ackles’ reaction. It’s layered, improvisational, it doesn’t look like an acting moment. He’s taking in his brother. He’s thinking about his brother. He’s taken aback, but he sees what he sees. This is important to Sam, and so that’s enough for Dean. I’m going on so much about this because the three kitchen-debate scenes are all of a piece. I would imagine they probably filmed all three scenes on the same day. So picture juggling THAT lack of continuity for these actors. Starting off the day with “rock paper scissors” and ending the day in tears. But in a way, filming them all on the same day may have helped enormously. Because really, those three scenes are really just one long scene.

It closes with a huge tormented-Sam profile, a “tick” of Supernatural that somehow never gets old.

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Madison is in tears, and Sam looks torn, hunched in the corner of the room. Now comes the moment that kills me almost as much as that final sequence. It costs Sam to say what he says here. It costs him dearly and it’s even more tragic because later in the episode he is provided a release from what he expresses here, he is given hope. But what he says is true. It will always be true. He understands it now in the deepest way possible, and it hurts him to say, because in this moment, he really leaves the “old Sam” behind, the Sam that Jess looked at with admiration, love, the Sam that was to be trusted. He understands now who he will be to most people, a scary brute they want to forget. This will be his life now. It’s so sad. And Padalecki plays the hell out of it. It is a very big moment for Sam.

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“If this goes the way I pray it does, I’ll walk out that door and I’ll never come back. You’ll live the rest of your life … and I’ll just be a bad memory.”

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Hey, check out that stock-footage helicopter night-shot of the streets of San Francisco! Fancy-schmancy, Supernatural! A hooker in a fur vest struts down an empty street. I was watching this on my vacation, and my sister-in-law Melody, also an actress, observed, “That’s a cold actress. Poor girl.” I love actors. They pick up on shit like that. You can see her breath.

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Back at Madison’s, Maddy wolfs out, right on schedule.

Meanwhile, in Hunter’s Point, the freaked-out hooker starts running. She senses something out there, stalking her. And indeed she’s right, because suddenly we see everything through the Werewolf-Cam. (It’s a great set, that little stretch of road, with the iron stairs, the blue neon sign ROOMS, the dark street, blurry lights. Pretty bleak.)

Meanwhile, Madison-Wolf focuses on Sam. Interesting: as Sam observed before, she goes after men she “perceives as threats.” Sam, gentle centaur, is a threat. This is another bitter pill to swallow, but one cannot deny the truth of it. He still holds on to the Sam he was “before.” Even now.

Meanwhile, in a great and awful shot, the hooker is dragged screaming right off the screen. Suddenly, Dean appears, like Glenn Ford, blowing the werewolf away with three shots through the Church T-shirt. Because naturally it’s Glen. (Melody’s comment: “I knew it.”) This is Dean in Murder Mode and he is hot, with that line of blue neon behind him. Villain/Hero.

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But what is even more striking (and an example of Supernatural‘s brand of emotional genius) is that
1. The hooker runs off, terrified, and he yells after her, “Don’t mention it!” Dean takes a moment to be irritated that he is never thanked. He does this not once, but TWICE, in the episode. Dean, give it a rest.
and
2. When he leans over Glen, Glen has “come out” of it and doesn’t know what happened. He begs Dean to help him. Dean has seen this monster almost kill someone. This monster is responsible for “Maddy’s” predicament. But Dean remembers his own humanity, his usual response to the innocence of victims. And Glen, in his way, is a victim too. “Easy, Glen, take it easy,” soothes Dean. It’s unexpectedly tender. Because he judged the guy earlier for making a casserole and being a Nice Guy(TM). Without putting too obvious a point on it, this reaction to the death of someone who is also a monster, a guy who clocked as kind of silly in the first place, is partially Sam’s influence on Dean.

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Sunrise. Madison feels the light of dawn on her face: Sam has cracked open the door, and he’s shown in a diagonal angle, her perspective since she’s lying down. The best detail is the absolutely insane frenzy of scratches on the door. Think of Sam standing against that door for hours until it subsided. It had to be harrowing. She nearly tore the closet apart. Sam stands at the door, with the light shivering off his hair (how do they get that effect so beautifully? It was there in “Houses of the Holy” too), saying, “It should be over now. You’ll never see me again.” It’s a promise.

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Imagine knowing that that is who you are to someone you like. It’s awful.

Lord knows why she doesn’t fill that empty closet with clothes or luggage or shoes. Well, because we need to see the scratches on the walls, that’s why.

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She remembers none of it.

Sam is already gone. He kept his promise.

Mournful horn music. The Winchester-emotional-drama theme. An echo.

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I adore the next shot: Dean seen in the rear view mirror of the Impala, leaning his head back, sleepily reminiscing about killing Glen the night before. (This show is so absurd.)

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Dean is honest about where he’s at: “It was sort of sad, actually. Glen had no clue what was going on.”

Sam sits there, three nasty-looking scratches on his face. He seems inward-looking, that thoughtful thing again. He’s got a lot going on, a lot he doesn’t want to share. Dean can be nosy. Can be? He IS nosy. I said it before: if you were living with Dean and you kept a journal, you best put that thing under lock and key and bury it in the backyard, otherwise he’d read it cover to cover the second you left the house. As Sam says constantly, and he will say it later in “Heart”, “He means well.” Missouri Mosley was the first one to say that about Dean. It’s a word-choice theme that I love, because it again tells us how Dean is reacted to by those who encounter him. Right? Dean Winchester is not walking around as the star of a TV show, beloved by fans who follow him on Twitter. Dean Winchester is a character who blazes through people’s lives, making jokes that don’t go over well (more often than not), butting himself into conversations, sticking up for himself, flirting with everyone in sight, and wreaking havoc. Understanding that he “means well” is something that only Sam will perceive, or a psychic like Missouri, or the perceptive people – like Ellen, who clocks it immediately. This is a man who needs some mothering. But he “means well.” Many people DON’T think he “means well.” Jo doesn’t at first. Ash holds his cards close to his chest, and is as much of a peacock as Dean is. Lots of people give Dean hostile double-takes, wondering if he’s putting them on, why is he flirting with me, what the fuck does he WANT. So I love the “he means well.” It’s also strangely … pitying. I’ll just leave that there. Dean needs to be graded on a curve, by those who love him. The challenge for those who love Dean is that they must never come off as pitying. They have to just leave him BE with it. (I went into the whole “Leave him BE” thing in “Everybody Loves a Clown.”) Also, and I swear I’m almost done, John Winchester never said about Dean, “He means well.” Never. To John: Who cares if anyone means well? They’re either good at what they do, and loyal, or they are not. John never gave him the benefit of the doubt. So Dean requires indulgence by those who get into his inner circle. Ellen sees it right away. And something about her sharp eyes made Dean push her away, no, get off of me, lady, you see too much. But he comes around. One of Lisa’s finest qualities is how she lets him BE, she always assumes “he means well”, and when people assume Dean “means well” he – a man who never feels safe – starts to feel safe: She demands honesty from him, and she backs off when she feels her son is not safe, but she doesn’t nag him to be something that he is not. She gets it. No wonder he likes/loves her. Bobby cuts him slack, sees what’s underneath, understands. Sam gets it, too. It drives him crazy but he gets it.

Sam, still consumed with his own thoughts, theorizes to Dean that maybe Glen spared Madison in the original attack because “he seemed to have a thing for her.” Dean gets lecherous because he’s now picturing werewolves “breeding” in a dark alley. It’s not an altogether unpleasant image to him.

Dean’s on a roll now. He wants to have some girl-talk. It’s so inappropriate (look at Sam’s gloomy face: is he in the mood for this now?) and yet caring. This is the “Provenance” Dean. The guy not put off by Sam’s resistance. The guy who understands it would be good for Sam to lighten up a little bit. He’s not wrong. But of course, the “you like her, how about her? What do you think?” line of questioning goes over like a lead balloon. Sam almost finds it funny. “Dean, she thought I was a stark raving lunatic.”

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Knock-knock at the window. It is then revealed that they are parked right outside of Madison’s house. Which is SO FUNNY to me. Guys, how ’bout moving down the block just a tiny bit? Also, they’ve been there all day. She’s been glancing out her window at the parked Impala for hours.

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Madison finds it funny too, another example of her “unusual” character. “For a stakeout, your car is kind of conspicuous,” she says, and I love her. Dean is honest with her. “We’re … lurking.”

Madison enters her apartment first, with the two hulking murderers coming in after her. There’s a wary silence. She understands now that she did horrible things. That Sam was not lying or psychotic. Sam throws a glance in Dean’s general direction, but he’s in charge now. It’s his interaction with her, not Dean’s. It’s a little bit vulnerable for him to deal with her openly and gently in front of his brother, but he’s brave about it. He gives it to her straight, with a tenderness that is heart-rending. “You didn’t know.”

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John Wayne often said he was not an actor, he was a RE-actor. His muse/mentor John Ford often prioritized Wayne in reaction shots, giving the best “action” to Wayne’s co-stars, because Ford knew that Wayne reacting to something told the whole story. Wayne’s authority was such that you, the audience, knew how to feel when you saw his face. (The one notable exception to this is the gigantic quick-push-in-to-closeup moment in The Searchers, which would need to be on any list of Best Closeups In Film. Ethan Edwards (Wayne) looks at the women who have been held prisoner, now released, women (and young girls) who have been raped repeatedly for months on end, and have now all gone mad. Before he leaves the room, he turns to look at them. Ford moves in quickly to his face.

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That closeup is so famous, because – unlike a lot of closeups – it does not tell you how to feel. It is 100% entirely ambiguous and what you see in his face depends on how you feel about the story. As Wayne said to Peter Bogdanovich years later, “It’s a helluva shot.”)

And so here, as Sam deals with Madison, it’s beautiful and everything, but it is Dean’s reaction shots that help the scene land. It is Dean realizing that a romance is in the room, that his brother is now not his Little Brother but a Leading Man in a romance that has nothing to do with him, and Sam’s dynamic is deep and gentle and private (it happens in spite of Dean’s presence), and not what HE would do, but Dean recognizes the signs. Mostly he looks up at Sam, with that taken-aback thing going on again, and my favorite reaction moment is Dean going inward for a second, into a place of thought.

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Nothing more interesting to watch than a human being thinking. It is what the camera was made to do. Ackles can be the most obvious spluttering pratfalling actor, but he can also be as subtle as a breath of wind. This is one of those moments.

It’s similar to all of Sam’s reaction shots in “Racist Monster Truck.” Through Sam, taking in not only Cassie, but Dean’s behavior towards Cassie, and also the fact that his whorish brother would fall in love with someone this cool and smart, that we understand what we are seeing. We get the whole history, through the outside perspective.

There are three of these Dean reaction shots. Manners is no dummy. We need them.

Dean breaks the Maddy-Sam staring contest with “Poker anyone?” Nobody smiles. Familiar territory for Dean.

He means well.

12th scene

Sunset behind the Golden Gate Bridge. Moon rising. The cycle of nature. Now it’s Dean’s turn to be a Watcher of the Night, sitting on the couch where Sam was the day before, gun placed on the end table, staring up at the moon.

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There’s a focus-switch, and suddenly there is Madison and Sam, sitting across the room, staring at Dean and the gun. Awk-ward! Nobody speaks.

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It’s like The Quiet Man, where the lovers are expected to conduct a courtship all as a jolly chaperone follows in a horse-drawn wagon. Or Witness, where Kelly McGillis and Alexander Gudonov sit on the porch swing, drinking lemonade, not speaking. It’s a “date” but you can’t be free under such circumstances, to talk, to flirt. Dean senses that absurdity and jokes, “You guys talk …” Like, feel free, pretend I’m not here.

The night passes in pretty much the same way, until the three of them stand at the window, watching the sun rise, the beams hitting their faces. The shot is epic. A movie poster.

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Madison had not become a werewolf. Yay! Relieved, she embraces Sam, saying, “Thank you” and Dean looks on, slightly insulted. So insulted that he clears his throat, breaking the moment, and inserting himself into it. He can’t resist! Madison remembers that he’s there, and concedes, “You too, Dean” as though he’s a child. And Dean, in his most obvious Obvious Mode, laughs and says, “Don’t mention it!” He doesn’t pick up on her tone, and is actually pleased, making the moment all about him. Stop it! Be normal! I’m embarrassed! I love you!

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Then follows a pause, which Ackles really milks. He glances up at Sam, away, back at her, he feels their yearning-sexy vibe, even more than Sam does. Instead of filling the pause with small-talk to make it easier for everyone (although, knowing Dean, he’d probably make it worse) Dean doesn’t speak. Let them SQUIRM with awkwardness because we all KNOW what’s going on here!

Dean then makes his move (finally), backing up, and the camera backs up with him, showing Madison and Sam still standing at the window. It’s a funny camera move (funny ha ha).

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He makes up some excuse for why he’s leaving – Pay Per View calls – which at least is more specific than Sam’s “I’ve got to go … over there … right now.” But he’s over-acting being casual. He’s a “bad actor” right now, on purpose, because he thinks what’s going on is great, and he wants to embarrass Sam. To put a final capper on the moment, as Dean exits he
1. puts his fist in the air, a “Fly, be free” message to Sam. Which of course Madison can also see.
and
2. opens the door, and looks back at the two of them. A stage exit. This is the part of the Awesome Movie In His Mind Where He Is Awesome.

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Madison laughs. Sam feels exposed. He is sensitive to the fact she might be scared of him. It’s not time to pounce. This is a totally new landscape for Sam, who is not as able to compartmentalize/shove-stuff-into-the-closet as Dean is. Dean has a more fractured psyche, anyway, with parts hidden from himself (on purpose, but also unconsciously). (This will change for Dean, and soon, but at this point …) Despite demon blood and all that, Sam exudes a wholeness that his brother does not. Never has, never will. (Again, remember how confident Sam was in “Frontierland”, easily fitting in in the Old West without breaking a sweat, and remember the embarrassment that was Dean, trying to fit in and “act” and all that. That dynamic was so funny because it’s existed, in different forms, all along.) What Sam does, in any moment, needs to make sense to him. He’s not hiding stuff from himself.

He’s thinking back to just yesterday, hanging out with her, talking, watching soap operas. That’s the Heaven that has already passed him by. (And that’s why that earlier scene is so crucial. Otherwise, Sam would seem melodramatic here.) But THEN the coast was clear, they were two people connecting, there was nothing between them. Now, though … He’s aware that a line has been crossed. “We just can’t go back …” he says. “There’s just no way.”

I love Sam’s integrity. Or, at least his attempts at it. I’ve talked about Jensen Ackles’ clear smarts in sticking with this show for 10 years, passing on other opportunities. What other role offered to him could have the sheer depth and complexity of this one role? The same is true for Padalecki. He came from Gilmore Girls, a comedy, and he clearly fits in in comedic environments, despite his hunk-like physique which could have type-cast him as just a Hot Body and nothing else. With Sam Winchester, Jared Padalecki hit paydirt. He is able to express his thoughtfulness, tenderness, and clear intelligence through this part.

In this moment, he gives her an “out” if she wants it. For a second, you think she might take it. “Yes,” she agrees. “There’s no way.”

Then we get a series of close-ups, him, her, him, her. The silence stretches out, taut and electric.

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The proper words have been said. Concessions granted. Now all that is left is for them to walk away. They almost do. But then she can’t take it and launches herself across the space to kiss him. And once she does that, all hell breaks loose.

“Look at You” by Screaming Trees starts up, another musical choice I think is fabulous (“Heart” has a couple of those).

The sex scene that follows is the one of the most graphic Supernatural has ever done. The other one that would compete is the Sam/Ruby sex scene. Dean has a much more promiscuous life, but we’ve never seen him like this. So as I said, as I watched Sam take charge (after the initial moment where she makes the first move) – and as the scene unfolded and I watched for the first time – I remember thinking, “Sam! You’ve been holding out on us!” He’s a maniac! There are close-ups so close you almost can’t tell what is going on. But a couple of shots stand out: her fingers gripping his bare back. Her mouth against his ear. The glimpse of his vein-y bicep.

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They’re all over the place, him on top, her on top, sitting up, him behind her, it’s hot. And brief, but it gives the impression of a vast expanse of time. They’re at it for hours. And then they sleep for a couple of hours. The scene ends with a slow shot from the fire in the fireplace over to the bed, where they lay asleep. Their body language is beautiful. Peaceful. I love her curled-up posture, nestled up against him, facing away (which I like, she’s not curled up over his chest, there’s still that … separateness) and I love the position of his left hand. It’s protective, even in sleep.

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The moon rises. Sam wakes up from a deep sleep, and he’s alone in the bed. Uh-oh. A heavy breath comes from the corner, he looks, and there she is all wolfed out. The primal part of her. He’s still a threat. But instead of attacking him, she flees out the window, gone before he can catch her.

Dude, you just fucked a werewolf. I just need to point that out. It’s pretty naughty.

13th scene

Sam races down the dingy hallway of the China Sea Motel, and bangs on the door. Dean, all Pay-Per-Viewed out, opens the door and Sam is vulnerable when he tells Dean what happened. But even more vulnerable and open is Dean’s reaction. The urgent-single-mindedness will come in a second, but his first reaction is to be gentle. This is his brother. He loves his brother. Whatever has been going down between Sam and Madison over the last 24 hours, Dean can guess, although he wouldn’t want a play-by-play. Despite all the teasing, Dean gets that Sam actually has feelings for this woman/wolf, and so his face goes soft, mushy, the way it does sometimes, and he says, “We’ll find her, Sammy.” Sammy. The nickname is automatic. Caring. And this is the Dean that would be a great father, that is NOT a goofball, that knows how to step up in a crisis and make everyone feel like everything is going to be okay.

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Isn’t that gorgeous?

It’s now morning, somehow, and the two of them hustle down the rickety outdoor stairway on the side of the motel. Where the hell are they staying. I peer at the background like a lunatic.

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They’ve called around, no one has good news, severing the blood-line doesn’t work, Dad’s theory is bunk, they’ve hit a brick wall. They’ve been “at it” for a couple of hours, considering it was the middle of the night when Sam banged on the door. The argument in Madison’s kitchen is now continued, only more intense.

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Dean’s insistence that their choice is clear ratchets up Sam’s personal reaction to the situation (something hinted at in the kitchen argument but now brought out in the open). Sam had also asked Dean to kill him. To not let him become a monster. And there was a similar aspect to that plot-line, with Dean’s refusal to kill his brother, his devotion to trying to “save” him instead: it’s now thrown back in Dean’s face. It startles Dean to silence, a great choice. A lesser script would have had Dean react angrily, point out the differences, argue his case. Instead – we get nothing, just a surprised glance at Sam’s forthright mention of the season-wide Arc that so far they have successfully (for the most part) ignored.

When Madison calls, they hurry off, argument unresolved. The way it will be resolved brings “Heart” into the Tragedy Genre, operatic and emotional: there’s a reason why the final scene is so beloved. I mean, seeing it now, I can see it coming. Sure. Because I’ve seen the damn thing before. But on my first time, I was, frankly, blown away by that final scene. I couldn’t believe how deeply, how completely, the show went there. I’ll talk about that more in a minute.

But one of the reasons that final scene works so well is up until that moment, the process-oriented argument between Sam and Dean has not been settled. Dean has his points, Sam has his.

14th scene

The scene starts with another isolated close-up of the gun (the third in the episode. We get it, guys. Foreshadowing. We get it.) Madison sits, stunned, but also thinking hard. Sam and Dean sit near her, their heights staggered (great placement of all three of them in the room).

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Now we’re back to John Wayne’s RE-actor comment, and it is the re-actions – from all three of these gorgeous actors – that make this extraordinary final scene land. Manners does not skimp on reaction shots. He knows that it is how each character is perceived by the others that will help the sequence reach its powerful apex.

We get
1. Madison’s quiet acceptance of the horror of what she is.
2. Sam, hunched over, staring at her, concerned and devastated.
3. Dean, whose tense argumentative stance back at the hotel, has vanished entirely. He’s soft and gentle and sorry. He constantly glances over at Sam as he talks to Madison.

When Dean tells her what’s what, she glances to Sam and says, “Is he right?” It’s an exact replica of a similar moment in “Roadkill,” when Molly gets the truth from Dean, and then has to turn to Sam to confirm. Dean is the truth-teller but Sam somehow seems more trustworthy. Interesting.

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Madison makes the choice herself, picking up the gun from the table and carrying it over to Sam. Her acting work is superb. She is scared and upset: she was just starting to live on her own terms. She was in the process of getting it all together. And now she has to leave this earth. She doesn’t want to go. But she has killed people – she! A killer! – and she cannot live with that. Dean watches Sam and Madison, quiet and still. It’s almost like he’s standing under the cliff, waiting for Sam to fall, so he will be there to catch him. That’s his job. The Catcher in the Rye. He’s waiting for it.

When she says she’s a “monster” and Sam says, “You don’t have to be,” you don’t have to be a genius to see his own personal stakes. It’s come up before. It will come up again.

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Her language is devastating. “I need you to help me. I want it to be you.” Sam was right: she is unusual and impressive.

“This is the way you can save me. Please. I’m asking you to save me.”

The worst possible words to say to either Winchester. Heartbreaking.

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And that is when Dean quietly gets up, walks over, and takes the gun from Madison. Glancing at Sam over her head as he does it. This is where Queensryche comes in (Melody, watching it with me: “Oh my God! Queensryche!”). Consider the choice of that placement. Everything onscreen represents a choice, by director, actor, editor, whoever. If Queensryche had come in during the small scene with Madison, it would have told us that that romance was the main focus of the scene. And Madison-Sam is a HUGE element, clearly. But the song starts up when Dean enters the scene, gently taking the gun, looking at Sam with compassion, never taking his eyes off of him.

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The poignancy of the final sequence is in the Dean-Sam relationship, brought into stark agonizing relief because of the outsider Madison.

Back into the kitchen. Sam has walked away. Dean follows. We won’t see Madison again, although we feel her presence.

Now. There’s a lot that is magnificent in the final scene. I think it’s important to remember that whatever is good onscreen results from collaboration. When I started getting into the critic-game, coming – as I do – from an acting background – I was, frankly, shocked at how dismissed acting was by most critics, how critics, for the most part, are totally director-focused. If I can add some nuance to that conversation, then I’m happy about it. Anyone who has acted in any way whatsoever, done a play at a community theatre, plays in high school, from acting, directing, building sets, running the follow-spot, knows that nothing happens without collaboration. But the director-focus of so many critics (not all, but so many: and it’s getting worse) blinds them to all of these other possibilities. Maybe because these critics are not artists themselves? They’re writers, and writing is a very solitary pursuit, not collaborative at all (at least not that kind of writing). It is ABSURD to leave acting out of the conversation, and it is ABSURD to not realize that any moment that is good represents a collaboration, and if any element of that collaboration was out of whack, we wouldn’t have this great moment.

Breaking down a scene into its separate components is one of the ways we can see collaboration really at work (and I want to write a piece about one tiny moment in Magic Mike XXL that shows collaboration in action, especially because I’ve seen a lot of stupid “Everything that is good about this movie comes from Soderbergh’s cinematography” commentary, from these dumb critics who do not understand collaboration and cannot – CANNOT – understand that ensemble acting is THE MOST important part of why that movie works. If you didn’t have that, it wouldn’t matter how well it was shot.)

The final scene of “Heart” is a small masterpiece of writing and acting, direction and cinematography. And let’s not forget editing. It’s beautifully edited.

So let’s take each element, one by one.

Writing
It’s beautifully expressive, but not overwritten. Pauses are built into its structure, pauses that are filled with emotion. So that bleeds over into the Actor Credit column. If you didn’t have actors who could pull this kind of scene off, it’d be over-the-top soapy. But Gamble knows these actors and knows their strengths.

Here’s what they say:

Dean: Sam. I’m sorry.
Sam: No, you’re right. She’s right.
Dean: Sammy, I got this one. I’ll do it.
Sam: She asked me to.
Dean: You don’t have to.
Sam: Yes I do. Please. Just wait here.

That’s it. Those are the words. Gamble can write, man. That small exchange is gorgeous, complete, simple and tragic.

Acting
Both actors are asked to “show their stuff” in a way that has not really been required yet. We’ve had intensity, and caring, and bonding. But not like this.

Sam is the focus of the scene (Dean barely blinks once because he is looking at Sam so intently). We can see that from the shot that opens the scene, a circle around Sam, starting off from a bit of a distance, and then moving in very very close to reveal Dean, a blur in the background, looking at Sam.

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(So this bleeds over into the Director/Cinematographer Credit Column, as well as the Editing column.) The camera doesn’t move too much, except for that first circle, and then the slow push-in to Dean’s face that ends the episode. So the scene is book-ended by two camera moves. Other than that, it’s still. What is important, then, is the intimacy between these two men: Manners knows that, Ladouceur knows that, everyone knows it.

Once the tears start down Padalecki’s face, he can’t stop them. By the time he leaves the room, and throws that pleading agonized look back at Dean, he’s a wreck. The brother relationship helps with such scenes. It’s a buddy-show, but the fact that they are related allows for these deep pits of childlike intimacy. It’s almost shocking (grown men, related or not, don’t usually relate to one another this way. I’m not saying that’s right, not at all, just that it’s not common, especially onscreen.) Sam’s emotions go in a progression. He is not crying when Dean walks into the room. It is the brief exchange of words, and what they launch in his heart, that brings him to that later point. Padalecki lets the scene carry him. He is not “in charge” of it: the SCENE is in charge.

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That is why his breakdown does not feel like he’s pushing, or reveling in his tears, or somehow self-focused. Sometimes it’s hard for actors to let go of the reins, but when they do (talented actors, anyway), often this sort of spontaneous filled-with-emotion reaction is the result. It’s incredible work from him. And being this vulnerable is, of course, what the acting gig is all about, but it requires incredible trust. No wonder the gag-reels are so goofy. Everyone needs to let off steam and throw a football around after a scene like this. Ackles is THERE for Padalecki in this scene, as much as Dean is there for Sam. They create it together.

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Underneath Dean’s support, though, and you can see it bubbling up periodically, is Dean’s own emotional response. This is something that has no place in the scene, though, and Dean/Ackles knows that. The moment is not about him. The moment is not a Dean-catharsis. He must be there for Sam. He must hold it together. That’s part of what Love is all about. It’s not about YOU. Watching that struggle in Dean is a huge part of the effectiveness of the scene, because it is both re-active and active.

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We know Dean loves Sam. There are moments, though, where it comes out really clear without all the “I’m older” stuff. The soft moment in “In My Time of Dying,” when he looks down at Sam looking through the journal. His expression is loving, grateful.

The look Padalecki throws Ackles before he leaves the room is some of the most touching work he has ever done. I actually have a hard time looking at it, it is so pained – with that note of pleading underneath it that twists the knife in the heart.

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There’s a very strong sense of unfairness in that look, a “why me” thing, that is understandable but totally outside their code of conduct. Sam has lost so much. He watched his first love burn up on the ceiling. He had to let her go, and he has been working on that. He lost his future. Madison is the first one to get into his heart since then, and look at how it has ended. It’s unbelievable, is what it is.

And then we have the final shot of Dean, after Sam has left the room. The acting is amazing, but much of the success of this final moment also has to do with editing and cinematography which I’ll get to in a second. The moment shows Ackles’ sheer professionalism, his technique. Technique has to be rock-solid, but it also has to be invisible. What that means is: Ackles is aware of his face, his contours, and how it “looks” to others. He works with it. He understands his angles as well as a supermodel does. This is the Actor Consciousness at work, and the great ones all have it. The great ones all understand the relationship to the camera. They are able to be open in the scene as well as utilizing their technique in order to make the scene visible to the camera. You can’t be so aware of what you look like that you always need to look good (although it worked for Claudette Colbert, who was only shot from one side.) Technique means that you understand the nuts-and-bolts of the job and do not make a spectacle of yourself pulling it off. If you need to cry, you have figured out a way, as an actor, for that to be a reliable skill. If you need to be sexual, you can do so with ease. If you need to be quiet and listen, then you know not to move too much while your scene partner is talking. Etc. This is Acting School 101 stuff.

So. The camera pushes in slowly, as Dean waits for the gunshot. When the camera gets close enough, a tear falls down his cheek. The tear doesn’t fall when the camera is too far away for us to perceive it. The tear falls only when the camera gets to a certain point. Guys, do you know how challenging this is? Some actors can’t do it at all, and so the editing choices would have to be different with such an actor. You couldn’t do that one long take of a push-in because the emotion wouldn’t be there when you needed it to be. So the director/editor/cinematographer would need to cut to a close-up in order to see that tear fall. Some actors need prep time to get to the emotion. But Jensen Ackles can do it in real-time, and he also can do it when the camera hits a certain spot. This is world-class. Both emotional and mathematical. Unbelievable.

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Beyond even that, what we get in the final moment is Dean’s love for Sam, as well as a vague sense of failure that he could not protect him from this, as well as an unending sadness that this is their life, that this is what they need to do, these are the choices/sacrifices they are prepared to make. But, as always, Dean prioritizes Sam over himself. HE can have this life. Sammy was never supposed to have this life.

The final button is the gun-shot, and Dean’s quick wince. But he doesn’t close his eyes. If he closed his eyes in pain, it would tip over the edge to “too much.” He has the wherewithal, as an actor, despite his emotion, which is now vibrating off of him in waves of tragedy, to hold something back. Sam is in the other room killing a woman he cares about. Closing his eyes would be an abandonment of his responsibility to Sam, a focus on Self that would be out of character. The Catcher in the Rye can’t close his eyes. Because he might miss someone who needs to be caught.

Dean winces, but those eyes stay open. For Sam.

So this brings us to:

Editing
I mentioned this before. The camera only moves twice, at the beginning and at the end. The first camera move is for Sam, the second is for Dean. In between, are medium shots, and closeups. We do not get a closeup of Dean until the very final moment. All of the closeups are Sam’s. This is important. He is the focus of the scene. Placing Dean as a blur, or just seeing him in medium shot, a couple feet away, with the blur of Sam in the corner, shows Dean’s Sam-focused emotional state. These choices are not just editing choices, these are also Director Choices. Manners understands the build of emotions and how we get to that not just through the acting but from where you place the camera and what you prioritize. By not having the camera be too busy, it pours the focus of the scene into its tense center. There is nothing to distract. Many directors have a style that is distracting, forgetting that if you don’t have the reality of the scene going on in front of you, if you don’t prioritize THAT, then you really have nothing. Pretty pictures and that’s all. So the scene was strongly set up at the get-go, but in the editing room they chose the takes that would support what was already there. I’m sure they filmed closeups on Dean as well, and I would bet they also shot a sequence of Sam killing Madison, just in case they needed it. They ended up going another way. (This is what is meant by “coverage”, you don’t want to leave yourself without having anything to “cut to” in any given scene. In the editing room, you want options. With television, where you’re beholden to the network, coverage is required. What if a network exec, stupid or not, INSISTS that you have a big juicy closeup of Dean listening to Sam, and you haven’t filmed it? You’d be lucky if you got asked back. Proper “coverage” is part of the job in television in a way that isn’t the case in experimental film-making or low-budget film-making where you often just have to “move on” before you get the coverage you want.) They chose correctly, I think: Give us Sam, repeatedly, through the scene, keep us on Sam, in medium-shot, closeup, and then end on Dean.

In other words, how this works is: the energy of the scene flows entirely one way, towards Sam (and, by implication, into the next room, and what he has to do there.), until the final reversal, when the energy swoops around and pours back around to Dean. Whose focus, in any case, is all on Sam.

It’s a simple editing job, really. But beautiful and effective.

And finally:

Direction/Cinematography
I’ll loop those together. I’ve already covered much of it in my remarks about the other elements of the scene (which makes as good a case as any for art like this to be a collaboration. You can’t just have one element in place. You need all of them.)

Manners has placed the two actors a bit apart. They aren’t on top of one another. What Sam is going through is so powerful that Dean gives him space with it, whatever his words might say. It also gives the feeling of tension between them, the BOND between them, so important to the show, and yet often not mentioned explicitly, in language. That space between them shows the attachment. It’s so tense it’s nearly unbearable. But bridging that gap – Dean hugging Sam, for example – would be wrong, it would shatter the tension. The scene needs that taut wire of attention and focus between them.

Of course the most important element of Supernatural, and why we all are still watching, is because of the relationship between these brothers. If you’re watching for the plot, you probably dropped off at around Season 6. But if you’re in it for the operatic melodrama and epically-proportioned sibling relationship, the whole “Beowulf Meets Scooby Doo” thing (thank you Helena) then moments like this are why you stick around. The team holds them back from it mostly, and I’m glad they do. If these guys were crying and talking about their feelings every week, I wouldn’t be watching. Tension doesn’t separate us, it holds us together.

Manners knows how important the scene is to the Arc as a whole. So much, the entire show really, depends on this scene. We will never forget it. We will reference it in our minds. We will not forget what it revealed. Manners films it accordingly.

And finally, and for me it’s almost the most important, because it overlays the sad emotion with an atmosphere of sheer overwhelming beauty, Serge Ladouceur and those lighting choices. He’s a genius. The lighting throughout has been beautiful, reflecting the sun-up-sun-down-moon-rise rhythm of the thing. The light of dawn is warm and red, the moonlight is cold and silvery. There have been three scenes in the kitchen now, but the other two don’t look like this.

For me, why the lighting in the last scene is so unique and beautiful, is the shadows it casts on Dean’s face (from the second he enters the room). Sam’s face is clear and open. We get every bit of him, nothing in shadow, the tears gleaming on his face. It is his experience that is most clear. Dean’s, as always, is more ambiguous. Less able to be put into words. And so Ladouceur places Dean underneath a light, which casts shadows down on his face. His eyes are completely hidden, and yet we get gleams of his lower eyelid (lid? What is that called? Whatever.) It is through that one tiny glimpse of the lower eye that we feel the sheer SIZE of Dean’s emotions.

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Sometimes he goes flat, the feeling is too much, sometimes the sadness comes surging up, only to fall back again because it’s more important that he be there for Sam. The lighting is so gorgeous it tiptoes into abstraction, surreality.

But, and this is important too, the lighting on Dean highlights his beauty, and this is something Ackles participates in, and why it must be so much fun for directors/lighting designers/camera men/cinematographers to work with him. Ackles knows what he has. He’s humble about it, he doesn’t make a big deal out of it, but he knows what he has. He knows what the lighting is doing to his face. So he doesn’t do too much else with it. The lighting does half of the work for him. (Collaboration, again.) His eyelashes cast huge feathery shadows, and his eyeballs are not seen. But look at the expressiveness we get, despite those shadows. It’s not “too much.” It’s just right.

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And that slow slow push-in to his face, as he waits for the sound he knows is coming, his spirit reaching out into the next room, hovering around his brother with the protection of love/sorrow/understanding, we start to see his face more clearly, its strong contours, the expression in his eyes, the tear that trembles, and then falls. Right on cue. But it feels spontaneous to us, and in that moment for Ackles, it is spontaneous, because he’s a genius.

What an ending, that camera move. What a bold bold end.

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273 Responses to Supernatural: Season 2, Episode 17: “Heart”

  1. Helena says:

    So I am most definitely NOT sneakily reading this at work and stifling sniffles …

  2. Jessie says:

    Such a wonderful read and thank you for taking the time with that last sequence. The shadows, the push in, the 300 devastating things. Can’t reply properly at the moment (I need to go away and cry forever) but while it’s in my head the other thing that really kills me is Sam’s last line. Just wait here. I need to go do this on my own, but I am gonna need you here when I get back.

    150% emotion. Talk about straight to the id.

    • sheila says:

      Oh Jessie: “Just wait here.” Yes. I hadn’t even really thought of that, but yes.

      So emotional. Don’t move. I’ll be back, I’ll need you.

      Imagine the scene AFTER the episode goes to black.

      It had to have been so bad that Dean basically forced them to go to Hollywood to lighten the mood. (I love that Hollywood Babylon starts out with a reference to “Madison.” I don’t know why I care about that continuity so much – but I do. “Heart” is a KILLER and it’s right that it would take both of them time to recover.)

      • Jessie says:

        I don’t want to imagine it, it hurts too bad!

        I love the couple of references to Madison that have popped up, in HB and others — there was an episode in S9, the Garth one surely, where I was kind of mad that they didn’t mention her. What was I expecting, Sam to be all like So Nice To See You Garth, Oh Guess What Dean Maybe I Never Had To Kill That Nice Werewolf Lady Madison After All. Ridiculous. But she’s a memorable one to be sure.

        I think my favourite reference is when Sam Wesson tries to call his ex-girlfriend Madison and the number turns out to be an animal shelter….

        • Paula says:

          //What was I expecting, Sam to be all like So Nice To See You Garth, Oh Guess What Dean Maybe I Never Had To Kill That Nice Werewolf Lady Madison After All. Ridiculous// I’m right there with you. All these great mentions of Madison through the show and nothing here? Guess it’s like Adam in hell. It can’t be mentioned.

        • Natalie says:

          //What was I expecting, Sam to be all like So Nice To See You Garth, Oh Guess What Dean Maybe I Never Had To Kill That Nice Werewolf Lady Madison After All//

          I don’t know, I think both of them have kind of accepted at this point that they’re going to learn things that might have changed the course of action that they would have taken in previous cases if they’d known it then. It’s come up other times, like the vampire cure. How many newly-turned vamps could they have saved if they’d known how? If they dwelled on that kind of stuff, though, the guilt would be overwhelming, and they’d have eaten their own guns long before now.

          • Jessie says:

            oh, absolutely! Hell the show’s been running long enough now that every episode could be 90% callbacks like an ouroboros and I still probably wouldn’t be happy!

  3. Lyrie says:

    Oh Sheila. I’ve had a VERY shitty week. I stumbled on this show a year ago, and as I’ve said here before, it wrecked me – and then healed me at the same time. It probably sounds silly and overdramatic to say this about a tv show. But I know you guys know. (And I think by now you know I’m not completely sane.)

    I’ve had a very shitty week and finding your post is like a balm. So I’m going to do a few more chores, and then gratefully dive into your recap. Please accept this humble present as a way to say thank you.

  4. carolyn clarke says:

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I love your recaps. They make so much sense. I’ve seen the recaps on other websites and yours are so much denser and smarter and so much more enjoyable. This show has so many layers when its really working and you get them all. But what I found interesting is that when the episode is really working, it doesn’t seem like I’m watching a TV show. It feels to me that I’m a fly on the wall who is accidently listening in to a private conversation. But the private conversation is oddly familiar because it is dealing with universal truths and sometimes lies. I am a 65 year black woman who grew up in NYC. My life could not possibly be more different that the fictional life of the Winchesters. But I also had an absent father, I am also the oldest in my family and while I like to be in charge, I also hate to be the center of attention. I understand their story and I love the way that the actors, writers, directors, editors and set directors present it in a way that is just this side of believable. It also doesn’t hurt that JA and JP are seriously fine looking men who are a pleasure to look at.

    • sheila says:

      Carolyn – thanks so much for the kind words!

      // universal truths and sometimes lies //

      That’s so true. I think the horror trappings are also well done – but you can just tell that what really matters to everyone is the relationship and the subtleties of it and how it changes, reacts to different things. I think that’s why it hits such a sweet emotional spot with audiences.

      And yeah, the sibling thing. I’m the oldest too – there’s a lot of Dean in me, I think a lot of us can relate to that “I’m older” thing.

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I love hearing from people.

  5. Wren Collins says:

    I love this recap! One of my favourite episodes. Oh, Kim Manners, you are sorely missed.

    • sheila says:

      Thank you, Wren!

      Yes, this is such an amazing episode. It also works really well on repeat viewings. I always get sucked into it.

  6. Jill V says:

    I adore this episode and its brotherly behaviors. Who else but your family can you be as free with your anguish. I sob every time I rewatch this episode and got a little verklempt during your recap. I love that final scene so much. Jared Padalecki just slams it out of the park on this one. That devastation on his face is not acting to me. That is an actor who has become his character 100%. And Dean’s quiet anguish is no less mesmerizing to watch.
    Also: rock, paper, scissors. That symphony of expression on Dean’s face while Sam taunts him. “Dean, always with the scissors.” Such a little brother thing to do, although Dean gets a chance to needle him right back with the sitting on the couch thing. I just love that this show “wastes” time, for lack of a better word, on these little bits and pieces that really show the characters. Most TV is all about the plot, and any backstory or characterization is few and far between. (Although cable TV is a different thing altogether). Most network execs would be calling to trim these scenes for not advancing the plot. That’s what makes Supernatural such an unusual show. A lot of the times, the plot is the backstory and their characters and struggles are at the forefront. You feel like these people are real.

    • Jessie says:

      The rock paper scissors sequence is SO FUNNY and what makes it better is that I can’t see it without thinking of the gag reel too which gives me heart feelings.

      There’s a theory out there or maybe I read it in a fic that Dean always throws scissors because he wants a guaranteed win – ie throwing paper knowing Sam will throw rock – up his sleeve if he ever needs it. It would only ever work once and he wouldn’t waste it on something as comparatively trivial as a night with a hot girl.

      • Jill V says:

        Head canon totally accepted!

      • sheila says:

        Yes, I know – the gag reel. So FUNNY.

        And Ha. That’s a fun theory – but what I see onscreen is Dean frustrated and furious with himself because he can’t stop himself from picking scissors. There’s that other time in the ghoul episode – when (in general) Dean is so out of control that I can’t even STAND it. The emotional drama. And GOD I PICKED SCISSORS AGAIN WHAT IS MY PROBLEM.

        hahahaha I think it’s hilarious that there’s this compulsion to pick scissors. and Sam knows it.

        • Jessie says:

          How long has Dean been compulsively picking scissors that Sam is so sure of himself? ha ha! On purpose or not there’s so much competitive overthinking going into it, it’s so damn silly, I love it.

          • sheila says:

            Yes! And how SERIOUS they are.

            Awesome. Look at Sam glancing down at what Dean picked in that screengrab. Kills me!!

          • Paula says:

            Always with the scissors Dean! is such great writing. Competitive history and sibling bullshit all rolled into five words. Dean always looks so frustrated and Sam always looks down to see what he’s chosen that there is a huge chain of competitive overthinking right before they throw down each time.

          • sheila says:

            I also love the body language from Sam – when he puts the coffee cup down and “gets ready.” And then Dean also “gets ready” – and it’s like life or death to both of them, because of the competitiveness.

            So funny.

          • Jessie says:

            Speaking of body language, another thing that I love that also kills me is hiw quickly Sam walks into the room to shoot Madison after looking back at Dean. The guy doesn’t dawdle or draw it out. I admire that about him.

          • sheila says:

            Yes. It’s a mercy-killing, and those should be done fast.

            Great pacing-switch because everything else – and his emotions – have been lingered on so specifically.

        • Melanie says:

          It’s all comedic genius, but another hilarious possibility is that Dean, realizing his overt efforts to push Sam at the girl as in Hookman and Provenance have failed, plays the Dumb!Dean card, the //GOD I PICKED SCISSORS AGAIN WHAT IS MY PROBLEM// card letting Sam win this one. Of course, Sam is no dummy, about 5 minutes later as he is sitting there very awkwardly, Sam does a mental headslap. Oh, Dean!

    • sheila says:

      Jill –

      // I just love that this show “wastes” time, for lack of a better word, on these little bits and pieces that really show the characters. Most TV is all about the plot, and any backstory or characterization is few and far between. //

      YES. There’s all this “filler” – for lack of a better word – and humor and behavior – and the plot isn’t skimped at all. We still get a nice plot. But who would care if you weren’t investing in the relationship? And it’s “rock paper scissors” that everyone loves to death – it’s one of the gems of the episode!

      “Heart” really really brings home that “brother” thing – which is always there – but not quite as strongly as it is here. And then when you think about how the end of the season goes – I guess “Heart” seems even more important then. It’s so essential that we get this depth of feeling without anything in the way of it. If that makes sense.

      Siblings, in general, don’t go around talking about their feelings – either you don’t want to talk about the past because you share differing interpretations of it – or everything is just a “given” because you share that history. So much of Sam and Dean is in that “given” realm – and it’s just beautiful when it rises to the surface. “Dude, why do you get to hang out with the girls?” ” Because I’m older.” BROTHERS. It’s so great.

      • Helena says:

        re paper scissors etc

        There’s one ep where Dean actually wins and I cannot for the life of me remember which one and this is now driving me nuts.

        • Lyrie says:

          Season 6, episode 17, My Heart Will Go On: Dean still picks scissors, but Sam picks paper. Alternate reality!

        • sheila says:

          Yes! The Titanic episode – not a favorite – although I’m not sure why at this point. Ha.

          Only in an entirely alternate universe does Dean ever win that game. So funny.

          • Helena says:

            //Yes! The Titanic episode – not a favorite – although I’m not sure why at this point. Ha.//

            I love a lot of things IN that episode, without really loving the episode itself.

            One thing that bugs me, and it sounds really nitpicky, but the inclusion of a classical Fate and an angel in the same story line? Obviously these co-exist in Supernatural, but an angel and Atropos actually arguing with each other, hell no.

          • sheila says:

            Oh that’s right – forgot about that.

            I applaud your nitpick.

        • sheila says:

          Oh gosh, I just said exactly what you said further down the thread. I posted my comment before I got to it.

          DOH.

  7. Michelle says:

    I am officially excited now. Haven’t read the recap yet, but knowing that it is here is going to help get me through the rest of the day. I can’t wait to read it. Heart was THE episode for me…the one where it hit me like a lightening bolt just how much this show had gotten to me and how invested I was in it. My standards for television and books are both pretty much the same….for me to truly say that I love a television show or a book they have to have characters that I can connect with….yes a good plot helps, but characters are what win me over every time. I’ve said over the years that if a show or book can make me cry then they have done their job and gotten me invested. Yeah….I was pretty much bawling my eyes out at the end of “Heart”.

    Can’t wait to dive in, but I would be too rushed if I read it now. Sheila’s recaps are meant to be savored slowly like a fine chocolate. Can’t wait!

    • sheila says:

      Michelle –

      // knowing that it is here is going to help get me through the rest of the day. //

      Ha! What a nice thing to say – thank you!! It took me forever to get this one up. But I have a new job – which means 45 hours less a week. :) It was funny – on my family vacation last week I had a lot of work to do for my Ebert gig – two reviews to write, a movie to watch, a newsletter to put out – so I wasn’t really into watching television or anything, outside Red Sox games. But one day, during a slow moment (there were 5 kids under 5 on our vacation – my nieces and nephews) – my sister-in-law Melody and I were lying on the big couches, flipping channels, and suddenly “Heart” was on. We came into it at the moment early on when Madison looks out the window and sees Kurt on the sidewalk. I had already re-watched it and blocked out the re-cap – but there I was, getting sucked in again.

      It was so fun, too, to watch it with someone who had never seen the show before. She loved it.

    • May says:

      //My standards for television and books are both pretty much the same….for me to truly say that I love a television show or a book they have to have characters that I can connect with….yes a good plot helps, but characters are what win me over every time.//

      Michelle, I’m the same! If I can’t connect to, or like, at least one character in a book/show/film I can’t get into it. I may understand or appreciate it intellectually, but I don’t enjoy it. There are so many “good” books/shows/films that I’ve never had any interest in because I don’t like the characters.

      I can’t use making me cry as a judgement, though, because I’m a sap who cries watching and reading tons of things. Cartoons, commercials…even stuff I don’t like very much.

      Though, rather oddly, I can’t remember Supernatural ever making me cry.

      (My sister and I watched The Notebook together years ago. It was her pick. I was a bit scornful of the idea and my opinion didn’t really change after watching it. But at the end of the movie tears were still streaming down my face:

      Sister: Are you blubbering?
      Me: SHUT UP!)

      • sheila says:

        hahahaha!!!

        I cry at trailers. I haven’t even seen the movie. And I weep.

        It’s a problem?

        SPN makes me laugh more than it makes me cry – its main attraction for me – I’m kind of a comedy snob. I don’t laugh at EVERYTHING but when something is truly naturally funny, it has my heart 4eva.

        When SPN does decide to get all emotional, like here, it really does a good job I think.

        • May says:

          SPN’s humour is big for me. Great humour and great sibling dynamic were how it hooked me and are the only things I really need the show to maintain.

          When I started thinking about why I can’t remember it ever making me cry, I initially assumed that was the reason. But then I remembered that at least two (two!) different episodes of Futurama have made me tear up. So that can’t be it.

          I actually think it is because SPN manages to fully engage me when I’m watching (at least it did during the first 5 seasons) and my, sometimes tense, interest in what happens next keeps my weepy-ness in check.

          • sheila says:

            Hmm. Yeah. I would say my general mood watching SPN is tense and interested. Punctuated by guffaws of laughter.

            There are a couple of moments that really get to me in a primal emotional way – Dean smashing the Impala is maybe the main one. But there are a couple others.

  8. Lyrie says:

    Oh hi, hamster-doctor.

    // This is Dean in Murder Mode and he is hot, //
    That, he is.

    // The hooker runs off, terrified, and he yells after her, “Don’t mention it!” Dean takes a moment to be irritated that he is never thanked. //
    Yes. But right after, there’s also on his face “shit, poor girl’s terrified, maybe I shouldn’t have said that… Oh well, too late. Next problem.” It’s funny and moving and lasts a fraction of a second. My god, I love this actor.

    //  “Easy, Glen, take it easy,” soothes Dean. It’s unexpectedly tender. //
    Yes. And that change in him, because that might be something that will happen to little brother someday, breaks my heart.

    // Dude, you just fucked a werewolf. I just need to point that out. It’s pretty naughty. //
    Also: dude, you’re standing naked in front of the window. Hi, neighbors!

    She calls Sam from a payphone. She knows his number by heart already? Did she leave without a cell but with a little address book? Just like the clothing aspects of being a werewolf, I’m not sure I get this. But do we care? No. Because Maddison is much more interesting than the trouts of the beginning of season 10.

    That final scene… I thought « no, that’s okay, I’ve seen this episode at least 4 times, I know what’s coming, I’m not going to cry. I can keep eating my chips ». Well, that was stupid. Wet potato chips are not very good.

    My first time watching Supernatural, I didn’t get how important that episode was. That’s one of the problems of binge-watching – at least for me. Knowing what comes later sheds a completely different light on it, of course. And I love it much more than I did the first time. I love Sera Gamble, I love Manners (Of course. Otherwise he wouldn’t direct my dreams. Come on.) It’s still not one of my favorite, though. I don’t know why – maybe because I do not like to see Padalecki almost naked. Just kidding. Sort of. Or maybe it’s because season 2 is so great they can’t all be favorites!

    • mutecypher says:

      /Oh hi, hamster-doctor./

      Good catch! I just re-watched and was shaking my head, “Who is that?” What was the last thing we knew about Olivette? Was she skillfully hidden somewhere, plotting her revenge in an Amy-The-Rat kind of way?

    • sheila says:

      Lyrie –

      That’s an interesting point about binge-watching. It’s unavoidable but sometimes, yeah, you do miss subtleties. Or you miss the import of one single episode.

      It’s weird – doesn’t the whole “psychic kid” thing feel like it never happened? It’s such a weird plot, and has no traction whatsoever. (I like all of the psychic kids – it’s just that it doesn’t really “stick.”)

      The upcoming sequence of episodes – through the end of Season 2 – is just crazy brilliant.

      What’s your favorite from Season 2?

      I have to go with What is and What blah blah blah … and that’s also in my Top 5 in the whole series.

      But God: Hollywood Babylon, Folsom … What Is … and then those final episodes, the two-parter. SO GOOD. Hilarious, meta, operatic, inventive … each episode works as a stand-alone but they also work together. So impressed!!

      • sheila says:

        Dean with the headset in Hollywood Babylon. Never ever get tired of it.

        “Oh they’re AWARE.”

        • Helena says:

          I love that trio of eps – Hollywood, Folsom and What is … three in a row Dean ‘alternative universe’ episodes .

          Confession – after one watch first time through I never watched it again until recently (and then I watched it three times in a row.) Now I can’t really remember what put me off, except possibly everything was SO operatically proportioned (La Boheme with werewolves, maybe) and off the scale, from the Olympic standard burlesquing to Sam’s emotional journey to AARGH THE FINAL SCENE – it pushed the characters to places I could barely process, and just didn’t want to witness again. It took ages and lots of your recaps and discussions and understanding more about the characters and the arc to feel able to watch it again. I know, I’m a terrible coward, I think.

          • Jessie says:

            oh, confession time.

            I have to look away a at times during Sam and Madison’s sex scene, not because I am freaked out on his behalf like with Dean’s scene with Cassie, but because he is so incredibly ripped and it all feels so WEIRD that I don’t quite know how to function. It’s too much.

          • sheila says:

            Helena – I love to hear all of our initial responses to episodes – it’s so interesting!

            It’s like me being about “The Benders” – eh whatevs, Meh. And then re-visiting it and thinking: WOW THIS IS AMAZING.

            I love that.

            “Heart” definitely gets more powerful the longer you watch, I think – because the relationship just gets more and more epic – “I’m proud of us!” – I mean, really?? And “Heart” really sets that up for us. I’m trying to think of a former episode that really “went there” with their relationship. There has been shadings of it, right? Dean being surprised Sam wants to go back to college. I mean, that’s some deep waters there. But Nothing like this. It really stands out.

          • sheila says:

            Jessie –

            I know. It was the “ripped” quality and how blatantly they featured it and how comfortable Sam was with his “ripped” quality – like – whatever, here’s my hot unbelievable body – that is definitely too much.

            It’s as vulnerable as Dean is sexually but in a different way.

            I’m not sure. The scene is raw and I wasn’t ready for it.

            The one with Ruby later almost makes more sense – it’s a hate-fuck and it’s hot – (I love that scene) … I’m not sure, I have to think more about it.

            As usual, it all comes down to BODIES and how they are portrayed and how we perceive them.

            Supernatural’s team o’ people have GOT to be aware of this. It’s not just an accident.

    • Paula says:

      //She calls Sam from a payphone. She knows his number by heart already?// Thanks Lyrie. I needed that thought to make this episode even more painful. She is also wearing Sam’s button up shirt in the pay phone, right? Even more ingrained girlfriend behavior for a 24-hour relationship.

      //But do we care? No. Because Maddison is much more interesting than the trouts of the beginning of season 10.// The trouts!

  9. Helena says:

    //but because he is so incredibly ripped and it all feels so WEIRD that I don’t quite know how to function. //

    Oh, definitely that too.

    • Helena says:

      And much as we Dean pinned down as the Winchester odalisque it’s Sam who is most frequently depicted in bed with no shirt on. And I can barely look because … that chest seems to go on forever, like the Alps or something.

      On a related note, I am pleased to see recaps are now highlighting Legs Moments. Thank you, Sheila!

      • Helena says:

        Oh dear, grammar/typing fail

      • sheila says:

        Helena: Yes, Legs!! I was always aware of them, of course, but once you zoom in to look for those great Legs Moments, they are everywhere!

        I really like what we’re all talking about here – sex, odalisque, Sam being naked – the way bodies are perceived – Let me try to put my thoughts together.

        And yes: Dean. Odalisque. Dean pinned down by Castiel? Nope. But have at it, if that’s your thing. :)

        Dean is sexual when he buys a candy bar at a gas ‘n’ sip. He exudes it always which is why people find him weird sometimes, like: why are you being all sexual with me when you’re just trying to get into the morgue? And we’ve already talked about his body and how when he gets naked you get kind of concerned for him. It’s vulnerable.

        But Sam? Nope. All-male. In an equally sincere way, right? It’s not a puff-ball peacock thing. It’s a true part of him.

        But he’s so ripped – and in a way – it’s even more objectifying of him than what we get of Dean – and I’m still working out why that might be. Objectifying isn’t necessarily bad. But they sort of pick shots that LINGER on that bicep, and how HUGE it is – and then the infamous “Hi. I’m a centaur” shot. You know?

        It’s the beefcake vs. cheesecake thing.

        More thoughts??

        • sheila says:

          Oh and please, if I miss Legs moments, PLEASE point them out. The one in the “Clue” episode which I totally did not clock originally is now one of my favorite Legs Moment.

          • Helena says:

            And my work here is done.

          • Jessie says:

            So many memorable legs moments this season what with Sam leaning against the Impala liake a hooker in the Dog-Faced Girl episode and then in a later one, running armed and barefoot through the bunker in sleepwear. Hello!

          • sheila says:

            Wait – I totally do not remember Dog Faced Girl. Or the Legs in that moment. What is my problem?

          • Jessie says:

            Dog-Faced Girl is how I cope with remembering large chunks of the Kate Werewolf episode. If I am not careful when I remember it I drift into a trance over my rancid diner coffee while the two hunks in front of me check their watches for the next seven minutes.

            My other coping mechanism is thinking about legs and how great those driving scenes were.

          • sheila says:

            Aha. Got it. I just watched that one last night in my Season 10 re-watch. How could I forget??

            // while the two hunks in front of me check their watches for the next seven minutes. //

            hahahaha Really. That scene is brutal. Whose bright idea was that?

            However – in my re-watch – it wasn’t as bad as I remembered, mainly because, as you say, there are those four huge Sam-Dean conversations. FOUR. I had kind of blocked that out, because all I remembered was that poor actress trying to act and not being able to do so.

          • sheila says:

            and yes: GREAT Sam legs moment.

          • Jessie says:

            The driving scenes were super. Season 10 had its fair share of moments. I think my favourite three second stretch of the entire season was Dean swapping a knife for a hammer. HOLY CRAP.

          • Lyrie says:

            // So many memorable legs moments this season //
            “Keys. Keys now.” So much leg and no verbs. I don’t think any porn could ever do what THAT does to me.

            And let’s not forget Charlie’s thighs around Dean’s neck (the muffled little “crap”! ha!). So sexy.

          • sheila says:

            I’m really excited to watch the rest of Season 10. You guys have such excellent memories!

          • Helena says:

            //I’m really excited to watch the rest of Season 10. You guys have such excellent memories!//

            Watch out for the exploding nuns, though – :-(

          • sheila says:

            The nuns exploding out of one another’s backsides is an image I wish I could erase.

            And yet, I can’t wait to see it again.

            That is probably the most inadvertently funny SPN episode ever. and they’re almost never inadvertently funny!

        • mutecypher says:

          To some degree, I think the beefcake/cheesecake thing is the equivalent of the “To Do/To Be” dichotomy. Sam is what he does. His body is just an instrument he uses to accomplish what he wants to accomplish. So if you get a look at his naked body, you haven’t really seen into who he is. It’s like a shiny thing you get to look at, but it’s just a handsome carapace. “Impenetrable” is the word you used perviously, Sheila.

          Dean also uses his body, but his being is there to be found under all the performance. His being can penetrated. I think that’s part of why he pushes back more often with the “sister,” “lady” stuff. Keep away from my sensitive parts.

          Sam’s being is in his doing, which protects his being. He can “do” things that protect his self. Sam would show his love by fixing the disposal. He would always find an action (non-sexual, ’cause that’s different) to show his love. The Way of The Beefcake.

          Hope that makes some sense. I may have used last night’s bong water to make the coffee this morning.

          • mutecypher says:

            perviously/previously.

            whatever

          • sheila says:

            “Perv”-iously actually goes with this conversation. Ha.

            Yeah, that’s along the lines of what I’m thinking. Dean’s boundaries are fluid, and that’s fun for him on occasion, but it’s also dangerous. Stuff gets in there that he wants to keep out, but he can’t. Sam’s boundaries are rock-solid – he’s strong and whole in a lot of ways – which is interesting considering that he’s already been infiltrated by demon blood.

            The complexity mounts!!

            But yeah: how all of this is reflected in their bodies – sexual or non – is one of those weird subversive “are they really ‘going there'” things about this show.

            Camille Paglia believes that all great stars (or figures from art – like Michelangelo’s David, Nefertiti, and on and on) have an androgynous quality. It is why they are appealing, disturbing, fascinating. They contain ALL of us – rather than lining up on one side of the gender divide or the other. I am sure we could think of some exceptions – although I’m actually coming up blank right now. Most huge macho male movie stars bring a level of sensitivity to their acting that is WHY they are big huge movie stars. Like Harrison Ford or Sean Connery. Stallone. Rocky is the epitome of sensitive. They aren’t just monoliths of strength, as manly as they are.

            Paglia, though, is interested in those really destabilizing figures – like Byron – or Nefertiti – that make us re-think all of our assumptions about gender. Elvis, too.

            For some weird reason, SPN is interested in this. It’s hilarious to me – but also awesome – since I’ve been interested in this kind of thing forEVER.

        • Paula says:

          //when he gets naked you get kind of concerned for him. It’s vulnerable.

          But Sam? Nope. All-male. In an equally sincere way, right? It’s not a puff-ball peacock thing. //

          I feel this way too. When Dean gets naked, I want to cover him up. When Sam gets naked, I’m like, damn it’s about time. You’ve talked about all the reasons for Dean’s vulnerability (thank you John Winchester) but I also wonder if it is that his self-image and pleasure points are so tied to the physical (hunting, fighting, fucking). I don’t mean that he is shallow in any way because of this but that when he displays the core of himself that it is often physical. Sam on the other hand downplays the physical at almost every turn (god, the layers of clothes! and making himself less physically threatening by hunching and sitting). It shines a light on him when he gets physical. Not only THE SEX (which please god let Sam have more of that) but I’m also thinking of scenes like when he confronts and kills Brady in the alleyway back in season five. Big, physical, deadly – so unusual that it grabs your attention.

        • Wren Collins says:

          It’s amazing how fast JP transitions from sex maniac to looking like an eight-year-old kid with tears streaking down his face. The vulnerability in this six-four guy.

  10. Paula says:

    I just glanced at your blog this morning before leaving for a business meeting and am currently making this upset strangled noise. Because priorities – Sheila is writing about Heart!

    You always pull out these amazing moments that I forgot or was so focused that I missed it, like Dean comforting Glen before killing him. I was so dazzled by Sam and Madison having THE SEX that I missed that small important moment.

    //Manners places these camera moves where there’s a beat-change. Other than that, it’s close-up to close-up time, baby. No one face is prioritized, an essential piece of information// Such careful depiction of the power dynamics between characters in every scene Kim Manners did. Madison folding her underwear in front of Sam was such a funny little moment but so well done in how you paint a slip of a girl holding power over a gigantic man.

    I have to go and now you have me all worked up. DARN YOU SHEILA!

    • sheila says:

      // am currently making this upset strangled noise. //

      Ha!!!!

      // so well done in how you paint a slip of a girl holding power over a gigantic man. //

      wonderful, right?

      and yeah: power dynamics, totally – these circling camera moves really helps show that, even though it’s already there in the script and the acting. He just was so good at it (Manners). I’ve been reveling in his X-Files stuff too.

      • carolyn clarke says:

        //Power dynamics – slip of a girl holding power over gigantic man// So true. Madison, Jo, Charlie, Ellen, Ruby. So interesting to me that these women are all very comfortable in their femininity. It’s not particularly overt. Fitted jeans, moderate cleavage but no frills or lace (except for Mom in that white silk nightie that we see over and over again.)

        //Dean is sexual when he buys a candy bar at a gas ‘n’ sip.// I agree absolutely but I think it is because of the physical attributes of JA. You’ve spoken about it before. He’s almost feminine in his beauty. Like Cary Grant or Tyrone Power. Full lips, long eyelashes, fantastic bone structure. JP is more typically male. Strong bone structure like John Wayne or Spencer Tracy. No one would ever mistake him for a woman. It’s like the movie “Some Like It Hot”. IMO, Jack Lemmon was always a guy, couldn’t mistake him for a women in a million years. But Tony Curtis, absolutely. Long eyelashes, full lips.

        • Paula says:

          That’s a great comparison of Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis.

        • sheila says:

          Really interesting, Carolyn!

          I also love the wardrobe choices for the women. It’s different – it’s biker-bar aesthetic. Lisa is more classic and suburban, but her history is wilder, she probably had black leather pants at some point in her life. Yet she’s ladylike too. The women aren’t walking around in tiny skirts and heels (nothing wrong with that – it’s just that not EVERY world is the world of The Bachelor. Picture Jo as a contestant on The Bachelor. Ha!! I like that SPN keeps that aesthetic going – for the most part.)

          I love your thoughts on the feminine beauty – yes! and Tony Curtis. Totally.

        • Jessie says:

          Jumping in here almost arbitrarily re: the beefcake/cheesecake discussion:

          carolyn, love what you say!

          But what’s so weird about JA and DW is that when he gets his shirt off as Tom in My Bloody Valentine or several times as Alec in Dark Angel there’s a completely different and much more traditional beefcake masculinity thing going on.

          Some combination of acting, photography and our attachment to the character is making it different and it’s hard to articulate precisely what that is.

          In one of your first posts Sheila you called out worry as a central emotional dynamic with Dean (diegetically and non-; it has been interesting in the last season to have Dean worry about himself so explicitly). That really connected for me. Worry is a huge part of the show — worrying about all the characters. All the characters worry about Dean’s emotional welfare. All the characters worry about Sam’s potential for darkness. We all sit here in our time off (or even during meeting times Paula you champion!) worrying about our darlings. And the show as an entity too I suppose.

          Like, it’s key that as you mention Sam is somehow whole and inviolable and yet always already violated and he is possessed with disturbing regularity. Dean is not so susceptible to that kind of violation, but he is boundaryless and, like Sam, his self is regularly at stake.

          Erm, this has meandered a little and I don’t have too much more to add — I just want to revel in these oppositional and complementary and complicated and fraught and counter-intuitive character modes that Sam and Dean embody.

          • sheila says:

            // oppositional and complementary and complicated and fraught and counter-intuitive character modes that Sam and Dean embody. //

            It’s so fabulous. I love this level of conversation.

            It is interesting to consider how much everyone is AWARE that that is what they are doing. I mean, they’re aware of wanting to be good actors, and put on a great show, and have it be beautiful and compelling. But are they consciously going for this oppositional thing? Or is it just a natural output of having a really talented team and a great set-up with two great actors?
            I just re-watched “Fan Fiction” last night and it makes me convinced that yes, everyone (at this point anyway) are totally aware of all of this. I think JA was aware from the beginning – as you say, his former roles did not show us THIS. Dean, somehow, set all of his sexual complexity free. Which is not often the case with gorgeous men in Hollywood, right? Dean (or JA – but let’s stick with Dean) is sexually complex. This is one of the hooks. The indiscriminate flirting, the vulnerability of his naked body, his total soft-ness with certain kinds of women, the openness, but then also the swaggering Burlesque.

            That really was all set up in Season 1. JA didn’t have to “grow into that.” It is my feeling that that was what he (and he alone) brought to the role and everyone else – Manners, the writing staff – picked up on it, realized it was gold, and started writing TO that.

            Because consider how Dean was written in the pilot. It was all swagger. It was JA who brought that subtlety and, frankly, that WEIRDNESS (no judgment) to the character.

            This is JA’s major contribution – and everyone is onboard now – which also speaks to the collaborative aspect of the whole thing.

          • Jessie says:

            I think the thing I most treasure Dean for is that he is a GIANT FUCKING WEIRDO.

            In his sexuality and in everything. The next two episodes are basically Dean doing The Dean Show with such force that The Dean Show leaves Dean’s own mind and presses itself upon the fabric of reality.

          • sheila says:

            Totally! Dean in “Look at me starring in an awesome movie” mode.

            And how easily he slides into the PA role and the convict role. And how disturbed Sam is by that. HAHAHA So great.

            If Dean stayed the Dean he was in the pilot, the show wouldn’t have lasted. You know I’d like to talk to a certain somebody about that. DAMMIT.

            It’s so funny to me that Sam – with demon blood – is the more normal one, the one who can actually get by in the world.

            But then – to add that complexity – we have Hollywood Babylon and Folsom Prison – where Dean is such a chameleon that you get the feeling he wouldn’t mind staying in prison. Because he fits in there and his brand of weird-ness is not weird there at all.

            Brill.

          • Jessie says:

            And what’s great about Dean’s performativity in those two episodes is that the roles he plays are diametrically opposed: in HB he’s part of a team, he takes orders and enjoys collaboration and camaraderie. In FPB he’s top dog, a show-off, full of bravado (when he drops it and has that lovely soft conversation with Tiny is another of my favourite S2 moments!).

            JA is so good that after you see these episodes for the first time (and Heart, and all the other beautiful reveals of S1 and S2) you nod and go yeah, of course that also is who Dean is — wait, what? I had NO IDEA that was gonna be who Dean was! That he can bring all this together and make it feel responsive and lived — that it changes across seasons — that it’s often funny and sad at the same time — and all the rest of it — well, JA is incredible.

          • sheila says:

            Jessie – yes!!

            The switch-off from PA to convict is so great – it seems “opposite” – but it all makes sense. Dean – who normally gives the game away in his smirking/awkwardness during initial interviews with victims – suddenly becomes the ultimate chameleon. And it all makes sense. How? His acting! It doesn’t feel like a “bit” – it feels like pieces of Dean are being revealed that were hidden before.

            And then – and THEN – the brilliance of following up those two episodes with What Is and What Should Never Be – which completely rips away all of Dean’s performative stuff – the Burlesque – the survival techniques – and shows us the raw Deal going on beneath – which of course we always knew were there, but as long as Dean was swaggering through situations, adapting, we didn’t get to see it.

            INCREDIBLE.

            Deserves an Emmy. Or an Honorary Award. It’s that good.

          • sheila says:

            One of my favorite moments in Hollywood Babylon is totally peripheral – there’s no close-up to highlight it – it’s just JA being in the zone of the situation.

            When the director finally shuts down production and gives that ridiculous inspiring speech – as though they are working on something as important as King Lear – normally Dean would be eye-rolling it, or scanning the crowd for suspicious activity.

            But there’s a moment – when everyone bursts into applause – and Dean and Sam are shown in the same shot. Sam looks totally skeptical, like, “Really??” and Dean, beside him, is closing his eyes and clapping, like, “Great speech, man … I’m TOTALLY inspired.”

            He’s lost in his role! (Dean is.) HILARIOUS. I laugh every time I see it.

            JA, man. He’s got funny in his bones.

          • Jessie says:

            I know the bit you mean! He’s got a look on him like he just won a free meal at Biggerson’s!

          • Barb says:

            Just to throw another example in–did you have that impulse to have Demon Dean cover up when he was rolling in Crowley’s bed with Anna Marie? I’ve been thinking about it, and there was definitely a different vibe going on in that scene. He didn’t feel vulnerable at all–and of course, I was more worried for the waitress, consorting with a demon.

            On My Bloody Valentine, there was a moment of that sort of naked vulnerability–several, really, in the montage of the masks. So it is something at least in part projected by the actor?

          • Jessie says:

            I absolutely think it is, Barb, because I don’t feel concerned for Dean at all when he’s shirtless in that scene, but I do for the almost identical “lying back in bed” scene with Cassie.

            As a demon or as Tom everything about his shirtlessness is saying No Big Deal. As regular Dean everything is screaming Big Deal!!!!! Big Deal!!! (I can’t really remember the mask montage sorry!)

            That’s performance and camera meeting. Many directors have commented on how precise and intimate JA’s relationship is to the camera — knowing where he is in the frame lines, all of that. And it’s exacerbated by what we bring to it too — a neophyte would probably get a similar sense of unease watching that Cassie scene but a large part of it is our read too.

      • Paula says:

        Ok, I totally ditched my work conference and am sitting in a coffee shop reading the recap…

        • sheila says:

          Omg, that is awesome.

        • mutecypher says:

          Paula, you’re much more pro-social than I am. When I’m at a work conference I usually find a quiet corner and put the Dead Kennedy’s “Holiday In Cambodia” on the headphones.

          “Make me role play and I will kill every f***ing one of you.”

          • Paula says:

            //“Make me role play and I will kill every f***ing one of you.”// I have said this many times. Just ditched a session on Four Pillars of Integrity. Could that be any more of a douchebag title? Paula out!

          • mutecypher says:

            /Four Pillars of Integrity/

            Oh dear god. Run Paula, run. Don’t look back, unless it’s to light the fuse that leads to the keg of gunpowder you left under your table.

        • Helena says:

          //Ok, I totally ditched my work conference and am sitting in a coffee shop reading the recap…//

          Oh Paula, you are just AWESOME.

      • Paula says:

        Speaking of THE SEX, just watched that S1 X-Files episode with The Kindred where Scully comes under the odd-looking Amish man’s sexual force field. When they lay down on the bed together, I was well and truly squicked out.

        • Lyrie says:

          Don’t get me started on the X-Files and sex. This show is so frustrating. I’m trying to keep watching – season 8.

          • sheila says:

            There’s, like, no sex in it. How do these people bear it? Only Walter Skinner is shown having sex. Which is hilarious.

            At this point, if I saw Mulder and Scully in bed together, I’d feel very uncomfortable.

          • Lyrie says:

            // There’s, like, no sex in it.//
            Right? I mean, I’m not as worried about characters’ sex lives as you are, Sheila – I mean, Sam not getting laid for a while did not really bother me. But Mulder and Scully? Are you kidding? I’m frustrated FOR them! It’s funny, because watching a lot of Sons of Anarchy episodes these days, I keep thinking “If Mulder and Scully hugged as often as these bikers, they would have a huge family by now.”

  11. Helena says:

    //More thoughts??//

    Oh wow.

    This reminds me of a recent ill-advised attempt to explain my confused, self-contradictory and Catholic-guilt-infused reaction to the whole Magic Mike and swole male objectified body thing. After several moments of my male friend blinking uncomprehendingly, I opened my computer, and said, This. Picture. Says. It. All.

  12. Lyrie says:

    First, I have to say: Sheila, I love how you talk about sex. I wish everybody had your or Dean’s approach. It makes things very simple, including for people who don’t feel like it or don’t like sex, I think.

    Paula: // THE SEX //
    Ha! If someone hit on me using «I would love to have the sex with you», I would fuck them RIGHT THERE.

    I have to look away too, during that sex scene. I’m not proud of it, but I really have a problem with how JP looks there. I have a similar reaction when soulless Sam is pays the hooker: « Put a fucking shirt on! ». But here, I just can’t watch. This bicep grosses me out. I’m sorry. Try not to judge me.

    Hard to pick a favorite, I can only make a top five. Even if I binge-watched, I will never forget the first time I saw Tall Tales or Hollywood Babylon. I love silly and I love love LOVE meta. (And the fist time I watched The Monster at The End of This Book, I got light-headed because I was YELLING so much. Like Sheila, it’s the comedy that makes me love it so much. It’s the recipe of all my favorite shows : lots of very dramatic stuff, but super funny (even if it’s sometimes dry humour). Can’t get enough of it.

    In My Time Of Dying
    Tall Tales
    Hollywood Babylon
    What Is and What Should Never Be
    Croatoan

    • sheila says:

      Lyrie – you’re great.

      // Try not to judge me. //

      Never!! This is all personal stuff.

      Ooh boy that scene with the hooker. I still can barely watch it. I’ll never forget my first reaction. I HATED IT. It was so shocking. Not that he was with a hooker – although that was shocking – but that body, and doing pull-ups, and being arrogant, and showing himself off – I was like: NO. (Now, Soulless Sam has become one of my favorite Arcs – but at the time, I felt desperate. Please, Sam, come back, come back! Side note: I wish Demon Dean had stuck around for that long. I get why they needed real Dean for the high school musical, but still: I feel like that whole thing was just beginning to be unpacked!!)

      and thanks in re: sex. HA. That feels weird to say.

      Okay, so off the top of my head – favorite Season 2 episodes:

      In My Time of Dying
      Playthings
      Tall Tales
      What Is and What Should Never Be (#1)
      Hollywood Babylon

      Plus “Heart.” Oops.

    • Paula says:

      //If someone hit on me using «I would love to have the sex with you», I would fuck them RIGHT THERE.// hahaha, right?

      • Jessie says:

        I am so anal that “I would love to have the sex with you” really bugs me because it should be “I would love to have SOME sex with you.” Right? Right? Am I taking crazy pills here?

        • sheila says:

          I think the kid is such a virgin that he has no idea what he is talking about or the right terminology. Sex is “THE SEX” because it’s so beyond his wildest dreams – it’s like The Sex(TM).

          • sheila says:

            That episode frustrates me for reasons I can’t really explain.

            Basically – the kid is great, I think. And I like the whole body-swap thing. But I wish they had chosen to show Sam being the kid, rather than have the kid be Sam. Like, the teaser, I mean – I wish the whole thing had more of Sam BEING inhabited by that teenager. More Sam not being Sam, in other words.

            I’m having a hard time explaining myself. The way they did it – with the mirrors showing the reality – was okay – but Sam BEING that teenage kid was so pleasing I wish the whole episode had been set up like that.

    • sheila says:

      // «I would love to have the sex with you» //

      dying.

  13. Lyrie says:

    // Ok, I totally ditched my work conference and am sitting in a coffee shop reading the recap… //
    You guys, Paula is adulting like a boss!

  14. sheila says:

    Everyone else? Favorite Season 2 eps??

    I adore Folsom too. And I am in love with the Gordon episode.

    This really is such a superb season.

    • carolyn clarke says:

      I love the whole season but my favs are:
      In My Time of Dying
      Bloodlust – Love Gordon. Still miss him
      Croatoan –
      Born Under a Bad Sign – my absolute favorite. I’ve watched it at least 10 times. It’s funny and scary at the same time. The jump cuts at the beginning (that you’ve taught me about) are so cool.
      Tall Tales
      AHBL, Pts 1 and 2 – I love these episodes particularly JA’s soliloquy at the beginning of Pt2 and the boys conversation at the end of Pt2 about Sam saving Dean.

      • Paula says:

        These are all so good now that I’m reading everyone’s list. I may have to rerank because Born Under A Bad Sign was so amazing. I too love Gordon! Such a fantastic character to contrast against Sam and Dean. Now I have to add Bloodlust to the list too.

      • sheila says:

        Bloodlust is really so good. I miss Gordon too. He brought something so so great to the show. I love his relationship with Dean. It’s so messed up.

        Love those jump cuts at the start of Born Under a Bad Sign!! I was like, “Wait a second – the whole world is falling apart” when I saw them – which, of course, is just what they wanted me to feel!

    • Lyrie says:

      Yes, Folsom, I really hesitated between this one and Croatoan. I haven’t rewatched Folsom in a while, but it has one of my favorite image in the whole show: Sam and Dean, in their beautiful car, at night, a cemetery, and Alice in Chains. I think I had an orgams (sorry, this whole conversation is too hot. can’t handle it)

    • mutecypher says:

      I love Tricksters, so “Tall Tales.”

      And I love Ronald (and the Styx ending), so “Nightshifter.” I’m sure he won’t die the next time I watch.

    • Paula says:

      Starting with Heart, this is such an amazing run of episodes to the end of S2. What Is and What Will Never Be and the opening to AHBL2 are so compelling.

    • May says:

      Tall Tales (It’s the slow dancing Alien for the win)
      What Is and What Should Never Be (probably my all-time fav)
      Nightshifter (Ronald. The Laser eyes. RENEGADE.)

    • lindah15 says:

      I love Season 2, too, although I think I love Season 4 and parts of Seasons 3 & 5 more.

      At the moment, my favorite Season 2 eps are:

      In My Time of Dying – the show’s story & character potential went **BOOM!!!** for me here.

      Everybody Loves a Clown – c’mon: Ellen, Jo, Ash, the brother fights, the car bashing, and most importantly to me, the serious contemplation of the enormity of grief. Most other shows would have skipped over to Bloodlust (also excellent), where the grief was mostly bubbling under the surface. But in this ep, they dared to show the raw, messy, vicious vulnerability of it out in the open between two close brothers, even as it acknowledged that everyone needs to deal with it in their own way. Unique, IMO.

      Born Under a Bad Sign – the super-exciting possibility of Sam (and the show) seriously going darkside really hit me here.

      What Is And What Should Never Be – oh Dean. Sadness forever. Plus prissy jogging suit Sam, representing comedy & (utter) tragedy in one nuanced package.

      Fifth favorite rotates, usually because I remember moments more than the whole ep. For example, the final scene of Heart (for all the reasons pointed out in Sheila’s analysis), the Rashomon portions of Tall Tales (especially Dean’s versions – “It’s like staring into the sun” and “You’re too precious for this world!”), the sunrise sigh of Roadkill, Dean the PA in Hollywood Babylon, Dean’s “I should have stayed dead” confession in CSPw/DT, Sam’s utterly thrashed hopes in Houses of the Holy (which in my headcanon, is a giant mindfuck aimed at Dean courtesy of Zachariah, because Zach is a smug, manipulative bastard), Sam’s choice to stay true to himself and then his tragic death in Dean’s arms in AHBL 1, Dean’s monologue and Bobby’s concern/consternation/love/despair in AHBL 2… so many more!

      As mutecypher says, it’s a target-rich environment.

      • Helena says:

        Linda, I’d second you for Everybody Loves a Clown as a season favourite – I’d never have picked it after the first watch or too but now it really resonates. The sense of being cut adrift by disorientating grief and having to grab onto things like work and fixing your car, the arguments, Sam’s clown phobia which is a gift which will never stop giving, the appearance of Ellen, Jo and Ash, Sam’s emotional 180 after JW’s death. But what elevates it particularly for me is way the busy circus setting and visual style are used literally as a fun house inverting mirror to emphasis grief, loss, desolation, confusion. The unforgiving sun shining down as the brothers walk through country lanes surrounded by waving grass … love it.

        • Jessie says:

          lindah and Helena, absolutely and well said! Also, finger-banging clowns and Dean acrobatics.

        • sheila says:

          Totally agree with you Helena and Lindah –

          That bright sun shining down. The freckles, the wounds. The two of them walking down the road with the waving wheat. No other episode really looks like that.

      • sheila says:

        // Plus prissy jogging suit Sam, representing comedy & (utter) tragedy in one nuanced package. //

        hahahaha YES.

        I agree with you on the power of Everybody Loves a Clown. And also that they took the time to have that episode – to sort of skimp on the “case” – and focus on the emotions … it’s a special show that way.

        I also love the Wild West feel of it – which really really ties us into the two final episodes, happening in that abandoned Western town.

    • Michelle says:

      I absolutely love season 2….it’s probably my favourite season overall although 3 runs a close second. Favourite episodes:

      Croatoan (one of my all time favourite episodes of the show. Sarge will forever be one of my favourite characters the show has ever created)
      Hunted
      Tall Tales
      Heart
      Hollywood Babylon
      What Is and What Should Never Be (another all time favourite)
      AHBL Parts 1&2

    • Jessie says:

      I agree with most of y’all that seasons 2 and 4 sustain the quality at shockingly high levels. Season 4 is largely made up of absolute stunners, many of which are memorable high-concept episodes. But Season 2, for me, has a tangible kind of molasses beauty housing a clockwork emotional narrative that really gets my motor running. And despite all the shenanigans there is also an everyday-ness to the stakes that make it a very personal season.

      It’s too hard to do a top anything past top three (Playthings, WIAWSNB and Roadkill). There are so many contenders for so many different reasons:
      -Folsom Prison Blues for blowing the beauty out of the water, bad-touching Dean, Randall’s mouth, Green Onions and Rooster.
      -Usual Suspects for the Outsider POV, competence and being so damn memorable
      -Born Under a Bad Sign for panic, performance and queasiness.
      -Croatoan for intensity, solidity, and Dean’s broken heart.
      -Tall Tales for Nurples, Conjoined Twins, Slow-Dancing, and Brave Little Soldiers.
      -Hunted for Ava and “Son of a bitch” / “That’s my mother you’re talking about….anyway.”
      etc etc as you all point out.

      Lindah you’re so right that aside from a few episodes that are in every second untouchable season 2 is I might be able to do my top moments that kind of make me sweat for how much I love them:

      Dean’s deathbed monologue
      Heart push-in
      Renegade montage
      Putting drunk Sam to bed
      Too many caramels
      My Daddy Shot Your Daddy In the Head
      Sunset
      Don’t you get mad at me
      Tricia Helfer’s relief
      Dean, his brother-wife and Gordon at the bar.

      • sheila says:

        Oh, I love your list. It’s so specific.

        Season 4 is a total stunner. And Season 3, too – since it’s shorter, it has much more momentum – a single-mindedness, the feeling of the clock ticking down – Dean’s total denial about death, and finally saying he doesn’t want to die and asking for help. The Christmas episode.

        Seriously.

        I still love the show, but this opening track record has yet to be matched.

        • sheila says:

          “his brother-wife”

          hahahaha

        • Jessie says:

          Season 3 – I would have to watch the whole of it again, I haven’t in a long time, but although it contains A Very Supernatural Christmas which has all of my recommended daily intakes of everything I could ever dream of needing and other stone-cold classics like Jus in Bello and Mystery Spot, but I remember it having a bit of a half-step halting pace with some weaker ones liberally mixed in. Not bad episodes by any means but not the sustained run of greatness that you get in its neighbours.

          • sheila says:

            Definitely true, in re: Season 3.

            Some of my favorite episodes – but yes, surrounded, as it is by Season 2 and Season 4 – what could compete with that?

      • sheila says:

        Top Season 2 moments:

        The 2 final scenes with Tessa, when she’s getting him to accept death
        The look on Dean’s face after his dad whispers in his ear
        Dean smashing Impala
        Dean, brother-wife, Gordon- post-hunt at the bar
        Final long close-up of Dean in “Bloodlust” – lens flare
        Dean handing the Kleenex to the crying friend
        Dean busting Sam watching porn
        The walk-and-talk argument down the green street in Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things
        Dean crying in the sunrise light
        Opening long take through the bar in Simon Said
        “Shoulda cleaned the pipes.”
        POV shift in Usual Suspects – the whole thing, really – Linda Blair: “These guys …”
        Dean and the Crossroads Demon – Dean’s emotional drama – “Shut your mouth, bitch”
        “You have a neighbor named Mr. Rogers?”
        Ava laughing “You’re nuts.”
        Dean-Gordon
        “Lemme guess. Antiquers?”
        Scene with Dean and the butler in Playthings
        Drunk Sam
        “He’s not a mandroid.”
        Styx.
        Magic fingers. Embarrassing.
        Sam’s face: “An avenging angel?”
        Final scene of Houses of the Holy
        Dean taking the candy bar with a “So THERE” look to the cashier
        Sam and Jo
        Jo pulling the bullet out of Dean. “Stop being a baby.”
        Purple Nurples. Looking at the sun. Slow-dancing alien. “we don’t have time for your blah blah blah” – maybe my favorite moment in the entire series?
        Jessie – I love that you put Tricia Helfer’s “relief” – yes, that moment. LOVE that moment.
        Push-in to Dean in “Heart”
        Dean with the head-set on, saying “Oh, they’re AWARE.” “Dean, you realize we don’t actually work here.”
        Dean’s chameleon-like qualities in Folsom. He fits in perfect.
        The look on Dean’s face after he hears Sam is getting married. It makes me cry. That whole episode. Every single moment. And how there’s a slight subterranean roar beneath all of the silences.
        Dean at John’s grave. Seriously, every moment in that episode.
        Dean holding stabbed Sam in the mud, pressing his hand into Sam’s back
        Dean by Sam’s death-bed

        • Jessie says:

          From Lens Flare to Eternity!

          I bet you didn’t even have to look any of these up ha ha. This season is packed to the rafters. Like, every bit of WIAWSNB and Playthings are perfect indelible moments. When Mary touches his face? I just have to say that and all y’all know exactly what I mean. Prepare to have your site crashed when you post the breakdown of that one.

          • sheila says:

            Oh God, the face-touch.

            “You know I get it. Why you’re the one.”

            And shout-out to JP for changing Sam ever so slightly. It was such an interesting spin on it. And the look in his eyes as he is confronted with this new friendly Dean.

            The tenderness Dean shows to the other girl trapped in the djinn’s lair. It’s too much. It’s tenderness for himself.

            And this may be silly but I love how Dean and his fictional girlfriend – I love how their bedroom is a mess. They don’t make the bed. It’s not perfect. They aren’t little perfect happy home-makers. I don’t know why I love that detail. they’re not living in squalor – the living room is nice – but that bedroom! And this is Dean’s FANTASY, right? I love that.

            John Winchester on the baseball team. Route 66 Ballclub.

            Dean’s happiness at Sam’s engagement. That openness. It makes me weep.

            SO GOOD. I love that this was Kripke directing. Amazing.

          • Jessie says:

            There are so many minor gifts and graces in WIAWSNB and one of my favourites is the ambiguity of JP’s Samness at any one time. On one level Sam is always playing the seductress (it’s a great episode to think of in contrast to the siren episode) — but depending on how you focus that level changes all the time.

            At the risk of blowing my wad prematurely so to speak there is a nanosecond of narrowed-eyes reaction when Dean is stealing the silver that is JP listening and responding on all the different levels that it could be and I loooooveeeee itttttt.

            It’s not perfect.
            Those family photos are certainly the stuff of nightmares not fantasy!

            Dean’s tenderness towards the other victim is absolutely a highlight of the episode for me. The actress is great and the whole thing is so horrid; gets me every time when she starts talking about her dad.

          • sheila says:

            // On one level Sam is always playing the seductress (it’s a great episode to think of in contrast to the siren episode) — but depending on how you focus that level changes all the time. //

            Jessie – can you talk more about that?

            Do you mean that he is the “Object That is Desired” – the thing Dean wants – closeness – the relationship – and Sam holds out? Making it even more imperative that Dean “conquer” him?

            JP is really good in this – yes – and it’s sometimes easy to forget that because of the sheer tour de force of JA’s acting.

            I know that the two of them both said that one of the main challenges in that episode was to suddenly NOT be close. it took a real adjustment.

          • sheila says:

            // there is a nanosecond of narrowed-eyes reaction when Dean is stealing the silver that is JP listening and responding on all the different levels that it could be and I loooooveeeee itttttt. //

            Oooh, I’ll look for it next time.

            Great scene. You can see that even though this is Dean’s fantasy – he has created a fantasy where everyone has low expectations for him (except for Carmen – which is interesting).

            Even in the fantasy world, there’s that “I’m a mess” thing – which is Dean’s inner world – normally hidden.

            So when Sam is like, “What did you do now?” – instead of defending himself, Dean sells himself out. “I owe someone money.”

            In that moment, you can really see how families assign “roles” to their kids – to everyone. And it happened in the real Winchester world – but it happens here too. Everyone treats Dean with gentle wary support – he drinks too much, he maybe is too wild – thank goodness he has Carmen, she keeps him steady – and etc.

            Fascinating. Because it’s all in Dean’s head.

          • Jessie says:

            hmm, in terms of seductress (and the label applies also to Mary and Carmen and Jess) I’m not talking anything too splashy, less in terms of character types here and more just the kind of operations of the episode.

            It’s tricky to think of the wish-verse as a fantasy not only because it’s so compromised but also because it doesn’t look like his other fantasy that we know about (picnics with Lisa). The whole wish-verse is balanced between Dean’s brain and desires and the need of the djinn to keep him sedated and placated.

            Dean has built up a life based around the idea that Mary didn’t die — everything else is conjecture. But to what extent is that conjecture influenced by the djinn’s need to invest him in the dream?

            So on one level everything in the wish-verse is to some extent a realistic projection given Dean’s self-understanding, or he would rebel the dream. But on another level everything in the dream is working on him to stay — even (especially) the distance between him and Sam is tantalising because it’s a reason to stay, something to work on, restore, and healthy happy Sam is a sight for Dean to see.

            So Sam is never, ever Sam. He’s a puppet, but who’s pulling the strings? At all times he is operating like any old AU version of Sam as well as something tempting Dean towards death. And as Dean starts to make himself wake, you see bits of the world including Sam start to recalibrate to overcome that.

            The siren episode takes Dean’s desires in a different way again but there’s a lot of road travelled between here and there!

          • sheila says:

            Jessie – thanks. Yes, your analysis of the “wish” and how it is actually some kind of mix of projection/dream/djinn-manipulation makes a lot of sense. It compels Dean BECAUSE of its imperfections. It feels ‘real.’

            // even (especially) the distance between him and Sam is tantalising because it’s a reason to stay, something to work on, restore, and healthy happy Sam is a sight for Dean to see. //

            Yes. That beautiful scene with Carmen – one of my favorites in the episode (although how to choose) – where he is lost in thought, but THERE with her too – which is very rare – often he shuts people out when he’s lost in thought – and opens up about how he doesn’t get along with Sam and he can make it work, make things right.

            What does he say – “make it up to him” – God, such a sad sad line. Like he’s done something wrong, disappointed everyone.

          • lindah15 says:

            Thank you for this discussion of WIAWSNB!

            My way of interpreting the wishverse is to look at it as a battle between the djinn glamor and Dean’s subconscious.

            The djinn presented Dean with the world that he wanted: mom, brother, girlfriend – all alive and happy. Dean’s subconscious tried to communicate with him via apparition. Dean was able to ignore it and blissfully, if awkwardly, mow his mom’s lawn. Score one for the glamor.

            Then along comes jogging suit Sam, the biggest game piece for both sides. Djinn side: Sam was *happy* with Jess and his Stanford life and his shiny hair. Subconscious: Jogging suit Sam is a less exaggerated version of Tall Tales’ We-don’t-have-time-for-your-blah-blah-blah-blah! Sam. Any other version would have tripped Dean’s BS meter, so that’s a big win for Dean’s subconscious.

            The glamor ups the happiness quotient for everyone by announcing Sam’s engagement. Dean’s subconscious tries the apparition again. Dean was still inclined to ignore it, because everyone’s so happy! Score one for the glamor.

            Then Dean’s subconscious and low self-esteem get together to present jogging suit shiny hair yellow tie Sam as someone who would never voluntarily spend time with Dean. Win?

            Well, it was sort of a win because the unhappiness opened up Dean’s mind just enough to slip in reminders of past jobs along with flashes of his current job. And that was enough to make him move towards hunting and the truth. Score one for the subconscious.

            The glamor countered with a huge move: //seductress// Sam as a hunting partner, something even Dean’s low self-esteem couldn’t reject.

            When they finally reached the djinn lair: stalemate! At that point, it became a straight out choice between fantasy and reality. And the glamor still almost wins: “It’s still better than anything you had.” (That was a serious Ouch! Poor Dean.)

            I reserve the right to change my interpretation once Sheila gets her analysis out. I know I overlook things when I impose a structure that was maybe not meant to be there. And the episode is richer in its examination of identity, wants, needs, etc., etc. than the structure above.

            I love this ep. So much.

        • Paula says:

          These list of favorite scenes are great. Maybe that’s why I was having trouble picking the eps because of all the scenes across these eps. Have to add one more to the list:

          Sam and Dean’s lengthy walk and talk along the wheat field at sunrise in Everybody Loves A Clown. So visually beautiful and slow enough to allow time for the characters to open up and react to each other properly about their grief.

          Brother-wife? I may not be able to stop saying this, Jessie.

          • sheila says:

            hahahaha Brother-wife.

            I watched “Paper Moon” last night (or, as Jessie calls it, Dog-Faced Girl) – and it opens with Dean saying “I’m glad we’re having this We Time” and it’s so messed up.

          • Paula says:

            Isn’t Winchester We Time redundant? Isn’t every minute of every day in the same car and motel being less than six feet apart enough?

          • sheila says:

            Seriously – I think the amount of “We Time” is part of the problem, boys.

        • Paula says:

          //the ambiguity of JP’s Samness at any one time. On one level Sam is always playing the seductress// Jessie – Seductress is such a great phrase for this that it took me a minute to soak in the idea. And the idea that the wish in djinn world had to have that element of sedation so it is not fully Dean’s fantasy world. That bleed of Dean’s self loathing and him apologizing for things he never did. Painful.

          Of course, there is //prissy jogging suit Sam// and his shiny, styled hair which really offends me. Sam couldn’t run a brush through his mop of hair the whole season due to grief and guilt, and the need to keep moving, so he looks like a messed up 12 yo boy. Then there’s Shiny Stanford Sam and his biggest problems were whether he packed the Adidas or the Puma running suit for this trip and whether Jessica booked the right rental car at the airport.

          I don’t know if I will survive your recaps of the last three episodes of this season, Sheila. They might kill me.

          • sheila says:

            Paula – this entire paragraph

            // Of course, there is //prissy jogging suit Sam// and his shiny, styled hair which really offends me. Sam couldn’t run a brush through his mop of hair the whole season due to grief and guilt, and the need to keep moving, so he looks like a messed up 12 yo boy. Then there’s Shiny Stanford Sam and his biggest problems were whether he packed the Adidas or the Puma running suit for this trip and whether Jessica booked the right rental car at the airport. //

            is so funny I’m guffawing. You almost feel bad for Jogging Suit Sam. I really like after Dean supposedly “drunk dials” Sam – when he’s first in the djinn-world – and Sam’s like, “Are you drunk?” blah blah blah – and when he hangs up, there’s a slight moment where he looks at the phone, and sort of laughs. You can tell he’s surprised Dean was calling him to talk – but that’s a private moment, the private Sam having an almost affectionate reaction to his brother reaching out. (Why, however, that moment of Sam by himself would be in Dean’s djinn-world is anyone’s guess. Still, I like it.)

            Isn’t he wearing a YELLOW tie at one point? Like – what??

          • Jessie says:

            yeah, Paula, so painful. And relateable. Who among us thinks, in their secret heart, that they could be the hero of a perfect world? While believing all good things should come to those we love?

            Sam’s hair looks as soft as a baby seal’s bottom. We are also going to have to talk about Jessica’s hair when the time comes! It’s like both of them should be wearing tiaras at all times.

          • Paula says:

            Yes, it was a yellow Gordon Gekko Masters of the Universe tie. And yes, Jessie, he and Jess should totally be wearing tiaras.

            Now that I got my vitriol out about Shiny Stanford Sam, it is interesting how the dream adjusts his character/seductress to become the ignorant but helpful little brother Sammy sitting shotgun in the car to lull Dean, to get him to step off his path.

      • lindah15 says:

        OK, just one more thing and I’ll stop (but seriously: “Bless this post” – thanks for that gif May!).

        Everyone’s already mentioned my favorite moments of Season 2, the ones that pass Jessie’s test of //moments that kind of make me sweat for how much I love them//.

        Except I need to add the following:

        2×02: the previouslies set to the Chamber Bros. “Time Has Come Today”, ending with the tick…tock…tick… around the flatline eeeeeee and the announced time of JW’s death, all leading into the red balloon pop set to carnival music. It just really set up one of my favorite episodes in a way that worked for me. (Something about that slowing clock…)

        2×10: Ava saying “I’m awesome!” with an excited smile after helping Sam with his B&E. (Aw, Ava.)

        2×13: The shaky way JA/Dean says “There’s just random unpredictable evil, that comes out of nowhere and rips you to shreds,” when he’s arguing with Sam about the existence of angels.

        2×20: Every moment of prissy-jogging-suit-shiny-haired-yellow-tie-seductress Sam. JP really threaded a needle here, IMO.

        2×22: The Dean & Bobby relationship that emerges full and complete and beautiful because Dean needed it and Bobby loves him and Jim Beaver is the awesomest man to ever awesome.

        Plus everyone else’s choices.

        Damn, this season was great!

    • Barb says:

      How the hell do you chose? It’s like asking me to choose between my kids and then throwing in my cats for good measure!

      I guess, the ones I keep coming back to–

      What is and what shall never be (I’m with you, Sheila, this is one of my favorite episodes of any tv show, ever, period.)
      Hollywood Babylon (Meta-crazy hound that I am. PA!Dean. Gary Cole, “can’t it be a little brighter?” and the scream that always puts me in mind of the beginning of Blow Out.)
      Bloodlust and Hunted (I know, cheating, but Gordon is such a great character!) and I will always watch Hunted for the way Sam gets the better of him, and for Ava (“Screw you, buddy–I’m a secretary from Peoria, and I’m not part of anything!” So strange, by the way, to see the actress in s.2 of Hannibal as such a controlled character.).
      All Hell Breaks Loose 1 and 2. Cheating again, but this is a truly epic finale. I have often shown people Dean’s monologue when I’m trying to explain who JA is.
      Tall Tales. I will never forget my husband and I laughing almost to the point of tears. (“We don’t have time for your blah blah blah. Blah BLAH–“)

      But now I feel bad that I can’t add in Everybody Loves a Clown, Nightshifter, Playthings, Roadkill, Nightshifter……and the devastation that is Heart.

      • Barb says:

        PS. Thank you, Sheila, for this wonderful recap! I’ve had a stressful week, between a job interview and being lead worker on a library program with way too many moving puzzle pieces, among other things. So when I finally got online last night and wandered over here, I was thrilled to see your Viewing Diary AND the link to the recap AND the Foo Fighters video, which I shared with my kids. A box of chocolates to be savored, indeed!

        • sheila says:

          Barb – thank you so much!!

          Re-caps are fun to do mainly because of the conversations that ensue. They really brighten my week as well.

          Blah blah blah blah BLAHHHH

        • mutecypher says:

          /way too many moving puzzle pieces/

          Barb, are you bringing 3D printing to your library? I’ve been reading about how that’s becoming more common for libraries. Way cool.

          And good luck with the job interview.

          • Barb says:

            Thanks for the good wishes, mutecypher! I haven’t heard anything back yet–but I think it went fairly well.

            We already have a 3D printer–and yeah, it is great. When we moved into our new building, we were able to get funding to make a digital learning lab for teens, and the printer was purchased for that. It’s generated a lot of interest, and we’re starting to figure out how to use it for programming–right now, we have used it for some tech programs, and we have decided to let teens reserve time for using it (the printer, that is) for a small hourly fee.

            It was a part of my big puzzle last weekend, though–we staged our second Summer Reading Block Party, and I was lead on that. Lots of moving parts that all had to come together in one whole by 11 AM Saturday morning. I believe it was a success–though next year, we will probably opt to have it in June for the kickoff, instead of in the boiling hot first week of August.

            An SPN aside on this: since I was lead, I had to field a LOT of questions on the day. I couldn’t help but think of a convention video I had seen of JA talking about directing, how all the departments come to the director and ask for decisions. “Do you want this gun or that gun? This filter or that one?” etc, until he just wanted to say “I don’t care!” But he realized that they needed him to make these decisions, in a way to validate their thought processes and skills. So while in my head part of me was shouting, “I don’t care!” I tried to listen and make the final call on all the invariable last minute changes.

            :-) Personal digression over. Thanks, again–if you want to know, I will check in here when I have an answer.

          • mutecypher says:

            Barb, I’d love to hear about the yea or nay.

            You know, I just picture a librarians’ work conference as a much more exciting affair than the Four Pillars of Integrity thing that Paula had to sit through (or not). All of you brainstorming ways to make libraries more useful to the public. If only more public services were like that. I’ll keep my federalism dog in his kennel and not speculate on the whys and wherefores.

            I found this website with a map of libraries with 3D printers, very nice. I’ve wanted to play with one, looks like there are some in my area.

            So, you’re not looking to direct any movies?

          • sheila says:

            Barb –

            // Summer Reading Block Party, //

            How fun!!

            My dad started out as a librarian in 1966. He stayed at the same job until he died. He was a real pioneer in digitizing the library’s contents – old academic journals, literary journals – hard to find stuff – He was not a sentimentalist, like many of his more dinosaur-ish colleagues. He knew a library needed to be useful (especially a university library – mainly used for research). Get it all online! Yes, it will change our roles – but so be it. (He used to joke that he felt like a blacksmith in 1912 – watching as cars whizzed by, knowing he would need to change or become obsolete.)

            I have the utmost admiration/love for librarians everywhere.

          • Barb says:

            mutecypher-//All of you brainstorming ways to make libraries more useful to the public.// LOL, wow! In truth, libraries are absolutely in transition, and we are having to make our case for our continued survival. I think part of that is changing with the times–and equally important, making sure that people know what we offer. Another part is simply getting people in the door–which leads to things like Block Parties. But you also reminded me of the quote from Joe Hill: “No one looks too closely at a librarian. People are afraid of going blind from the glare of ssss-ssso much compressed wisdom.” And that just nuts. :-) As for directing–anything–I have asked my co-workers not to come to me for advice of any kind until at least December.

            Sheila–Thank you so much! Your father sounds like a wonderful man, the more you talk and write about him. I only hope that we can carry on both the tradition and the understanding of the benefits of change as well as he obviously did.

      • Barb says:

        And crap–I’m just scrolling back through the conversation, and realizing I left In My Time of Dying off the list! How could I? And Folsom Prison Blues (“Why are you in here?” “Because I’ve got an idiot for a brother.” “That’ll do it.”) And I know I’m slighting other episodes—

        • sheila says:

          How Dean puts his body out there to be beat up.

          And the sudden soft bonding with Tiny who has self-esteem issues.

          Awesome.

          • Barb says:

            //And the sudden soft bonding with Tiny// Oh, yes, I loved that moment.

            And all the emphasis on eyes throughout, only being able to see so much of the action.

            How about the prison walk to “Green Onions?” Sam and Dean’s choreographed cell assignments, Dean trying to flirt with his cell mate, the turning to look at each other as the doors close at the same time.

            Hmmm–I think I want to change my original answer–

  15. Helena says:

    perviously
    Orgams

    These are now my two favourite words

  16. Lyrie says:

    Re : Sam’s gigantic body. Sure, the way he always downplays it is first practical: as we’ve said before, he knows he looks threatening and he doesn’t want to scare people. I always saw it too like a way to be something else than what John Winchester had taught them to be. Not that John or Dean are not smart men who know how to use a book, but Sam went to college wanting to escape all that shit. He wants to be something else than just a body, a soldier. He will use his force if he has to, but has a last resort, because he doesn’t want to BE that. That’s along the lines of what Mutecypher was saying.

    • mutecypher says:

      Yes (at that point, on the road that far), if Sam does bad things he will become bad – because doing wrong would him bad (in his mind). It might not make other people bad – Maddy didn’t know what she was doing, so she shouldn’t be blamed. That choice/free will thing. And the fear with the demon blood is that it will pollute his choices and make him do bad things.

      Of course, there are more convolutions as the seasons go on.

      Dean (in his mind) can do bad things and be a good person. Because he is a good person and not changed in his being by his actions. As much. Even in seasons 9 and 10, the Mark Of Cain seems more about Dean becoming evil in his person. That he may then do terrible things is understood, but the fear is about his self.

      This reminds me of the famous Chinese painting of The Vinegar Tasters and their comments:

      Confucius: To do is to be.
      Buddha: To be is to do.
      Sinatra: Do-be-do-be-do.

    • sheila says:

      Interesting, yes. If Sam threw his weight around all the time, he’d be terrifying. Instead, for the most part, he’s sweet and thoughtful and smart. Resisting the definitions his dad put on him.

      Also, JP probably has intimate knowledge of what his size does to people, and he is conscious about using it (or not using it) to put people at their ease. He seems like a sweet man – from where I’m standing anyway – another Hunk who knows he’s a hunk, and clearly works on that body like it’s a JOB – but is humble and no-big-deal about it. He’s an athlete.

  17. Paula says:

    //The final scene of “Heart” is a small masterpiece of writing and acting, direction and cinematography. And let’s not forget editing. It’s beautifully edited. // Love the breakdown you give to each of these elements. As a writer, I pay attention to the word choices in the script, which is why I’m fascinated by your recaps often taking an actor’s perspective which is foreign territory for me.

    I’m avoiding talking about JP and JA crying in the final scene. So raw and so memorable. I read somewhere that JP said that Kim Manners talked to him once about reeling in the tears, that it is too much and it is better to show less. Made me think of this scene and the S3 finale. Yes, it is almost too much, the emotion and the tears, but when someone goes big like this and it is unexpected and carries truth, I find it an emotional release. Painful in the moment but so satisfying.

    • sheila says:

      Yes! I love that JP shared that about Manners – I think without a strong hand, JP could go into a Hallmark Movie kind of thing – He himself said something along those lines, which just speaks so well of his humility. He wanted to stop and “have a moment” with his dad before leaving the room in Episode 1, and Manners was like, “No, just leave.” Perfect choice – and removed any possibility of sentimentality, of underlining something, of being “too much”. I think I wrote about that back there, can’t remember.

      So yes, by holding stuff back – when a catharsis does come, it’s really earned. It has a lot behind it. He does such a great job, he’s a very emotional actor.

  18. Helena says:

    //Dean (in his mind) can do bad things and be a good person. //

    I’m not terribly convinced Dean, in his mind, at this stage in his life, thinks he is a good person. I think, in his mind, he can do good things or wish good things for other people, but that’s not quite the same.

    Discuss!

    • mutecypher says:

      I agree that the season 10 Dean no longer thinks of himself as good. Season 2 Dean did. The people around Dean are concerned about his self, who he is. What he does is funny/horrific/noble/mortifying etc, but his being is still the concern.

      He’s not The Joker (an agent of chaos), he’s an Agent Of Saving Sammy. And Mae West – “goodness had nothing to do with it.”

    • sheila says:

      It’s really interesting to see the progression, right? Because yeah, Season 10 Dean is a whole other animal. I think even in Season 9, you could say that Dean still felt he was essentially good, his intentions were good. I mean, that was what all of those Sam-Dean conversations were about, right?

      But Kevin changed all that.

      And Season 10 Dean seems pretty chastened, exhausted. I don’t think he thinks he’s good anymore. But he’s still here, he’s alive, and he may as well do the job he was trained to do. This goes back to the DOING thing we were talking about up above. Doing and Being … very different and it seems both Sam and Dean are now all about the Doing. Being would be way too hard at this point.

      I hope that Season 11 – even with The Darkness – which I already don’t care about – explores this more.

    • lindah15 says:

      OMG. To quote May’s gif: “Bless This Post!” There are so many fun, interesting comments & ideas here!

      OK. Here’s my $.02:

      //I’m not terribly convinced Dean, in his mind, at this stage in his life, thinks he is a good person. I think, in his mind, he can do good things or wish good things for other people, but that’s not quite the same. //

      I agree with Helena.

      I think Season 2 Dean always dodges the question of “Who am I?” along with all the attendant corollaries such as “Am I good/bad?” Instead, he deflects by asking himself “Who does Sam/Dad/the job need me to be?”

      Sheila’s thrilling (I mean that sincerely) analysis of JA’s acting in the final push-in of this episode convinced me that this was central to Dean’s every choice. To me, the hidden cost of those choices is that he avoids all self-reflection.

      The next two episodes demonstrate how completely Dean is able to subsume himself in his chosen roles: awesome PA, top-dog prisoner & underneath it all, supportive big brother.

      And then WIAWSNB explodes with answers and sadness:

      What does Dean want? A living mother, a happy brother, and a respectable, caring girlfriend with low standards.

      Who does Dean think he is? The episode answers obliquely: an aimless drinks-too-much loser.

      How do we see Dean? A hero who sacrifices his own happiness for the welfare of others.

      WIAWSNB lays out for us who Dean is, but Dean does not (will not? cannot?) see it himself. The one mirror moment in the episode is the classic horror ghost-in-the-mirror shot. Dean looks in the mirror, but he’s not looking at himself. He’s looking for the ghost. (IIRC, I don’t think Dean will actually look at himself in a mirror until 4×01. Even in this episode, 2×17 Heart, there’s a rear view mirror shot where we can see Dean’s eyes, but he’s actually looking at Madison’s house. I think all the Dean mirror moments until 4×01 show Dean looking at Sam or a potential monster or something related to the job. Never at himself.)

      It is possible that I have seen WIAWSNB too many times. And also, Sheila’s original post is about 2×17 and not 2×20, which may not be obvious anymore. Oops.

      • Helena says:

        //I agree that the season 10 Dean no longer thinks of himself as good. Season 2 Dean did. //

        I tend to think the opposite. In Season 2, Dean may well have thought of himself as ‘one of the good guys’ or ‘on the side of good’, or even ‘not an actively bad person’ but there is a huge difference between that and actually thinking of yourself as a good person. He’d have to think of himself as a person first, and – I agree with lindah15 here, who has developed my point far more lucidly and economically than I ever could – he doesn’t. He can’t. Instead, it’s all about being a creature of necessity, about what he can do for others and the standard at which he can perform it. Everything he thinks about himself is hopelessly entangled with his father’s value judgements and the roles which have been allotted to him – being a good son, being a good brother, being a good hunter, and Dad has always found him wanting. Going back to Sam’s ‘overcompensating’ comment in Playthings, if Dean is overcompensating for anything in his life, it is for this: the constant sense of falling below the (impossible, unfair, unachievable) standards set by his father.

        • mutecypher says:

          Okay, I need to re-watch WIAWSNB tonight and see if Helena and lindah15 have changed my mind. In my recollection, I had some skepticism about how literally we should take Dean’s time under the djinn as an unambiguous look at his wish-life.

          Right or wrong, pants or no, I see season 2 Dean as the Dr. Badass of his life. Hurt by dad, dealing with grief, conflicted by what’s coming for Sam and how he should deal with it; but the coolest guy he knows.

          But I’ll re-watch with your comments in mind.

          • lindah15 says:

            WIAWSNB is definitely one of those episodes that is more rewarding on re-watch.

            When I first watched it, I remember flailing: What? Who? WHAT!?! and then worrying that Dean would lose his job because he blew it off without notice for the day. (Yeah, priorities, right?)

            Without the flailing, you can start to see the battle lines between the djinn juice and Dean’s subconscious — how happy the djinn could make Dean without tripping his BS meter. Imaginary folks like his mom and Carmen could be supportive despite his flaws. Jogging suit Sam could not. (Sadness forever on what that implies about Dean’s perspective of their relationship.)

            Ahem. It’s possible, I won’t have anything left to say about WIAWSNB when Sheila gets to the ep. Still looking forward to it, though, if only to squee and say Thanks!

          • Helena says:

            /but the coolest guy he knows./

            I’m not really disagreeing with this AT ALL :-). But at the risk of sounding like a broken record, this is not the same as thinking of yourself as a good person.

          • mutecypher says:

            Okay, I’m not ready to abandon my position – but I am really needing to work to convince myself that I’m not completely wrong.

            Thanks for the pushback. It’s nice to have friends who’ll tell you when they think you’re wrong.

          • Melanie says:

            Mutecypher, I don’t necessarily think you are wrong. I mostly think that Dean (all seasons) wants to avoid thinking about himself at all, either good or bad. Sometimes he is forced to consider it as in season 10 finale. It’s kind of like his feelings about not wanting to be on God’s radar or “be singled out at birthday parties.” Dean thinks of himself as a good hunter, usually a good brother, a good lover. These things are enough for Dean. Questions like “Am I a Good man?” are Sam’s way of thinking. I will hold nuances of WIA… for a future post. So I appreciate your willingness to consider other ideas. I, too will strive to be open. This is the attitude that allows people the freedom to express their sometimes wacky thoughts (I speak of my own) on this forum. Thank you, Sheila and all you brilliant, creative, slightly crazy people, for making this such a fun, safe place to come.

          • Melanie says:

            It’s like being a Good Man is too much pressure for Dean.
            “I don’t WANT to be the Michael Sword.”
            “I don’t want to believe in a god that is concerned about me personally.”
            “I don’t want to be the only one who can save the world – AGAIN”

            Yes, he does have self esteem issues. Re the mirror, he is afraid that he might see Bad!Dean there, but if he sees Good!Dean then the weight and responsibility to save humanity might just crush him. Which is worse?

        • lindah15 says:

          //it’s all about being a creature of necessity, about what he can do for others and the standard at which he can perform it.//

          Yes, this is my interpretation of Season 2 Dean, too.

          It’s why, in his deepest, rawest moment of despair (AHBL2), he doesn’t ask Sam’s body “Who am I without you?”, he asks “What am I supposed to do?”

          • lindah15 says:

            Hi Helena!

            I *meant* to say, “Well put, I agree.” (Thank goodness I at least remembered to put in the quote slashes instead of appropriating your words 100%.)

            I got distracted by AHBL2 Dean’s grief-y-ness. (Explanation, not excuse!)

        • Paula says:

          //He’d have to think of himself as a person first// Ouch, that one really hurts. And Linda’s comments about Dean not looking at himself in a mirror until S4? Great discussion. I agree with the view Dean is outwardly focused in S2. He doesn’t spend time thinking about who he is (good or bad), he defines himself only by the actions he takes (right/wrong/necessary) and how they would be viewed in the world according to John Winchester. I don’t think that really changes until S3 Dream A Little Dream when he confronts himself.

    • May says:

      Hmmm. I’ve always thought that Dean hated himself. I’ve mentioned it before, but I think Dean suffers from some form of depression (using my fake degree in armchair psychology to aid in my diagnosis) and that has clouded his view of himself.

      A lot of the discussion above about “What Is and What Should Never Be” covers most what I would say about Dean and how he sees himself. In the early years/seasons Dean thought he was a worthless person who did good things. Not just by saving lives, but also by taking on the necessary evils himself, thus protecting the “purity” and goodness of others.

      Of course, now he just thinks he’s mostly terrible. He adopted Han Solo’s persona, but secretly thinks he’s Vader.

      • Jessie says:

        I could definitely see Dean as Vader.

      • lindah15 says:

        Yeah.

        Every once in a while I wish that Jensen Ackles was a less thoughtful and talented actor because he is able to convey every last scar and broken place that Dean has accumulated in his life. That gives me less and less hope for the character as the series marches on.

        But then Sheila’s SPN posts reconcile me to it because she is able to heighten my appreciation of both JA and JP and their talent, craft, legs and uncanny beauty.

        Thank you, Sheila!

        • May says:

          Yeah, watching Dean’s progression over the seasons has been incredibly impressive and incredibly depressing. Of course, if JA were less talented, we probably wouldn’t care about Dean.

  19. May says:

    RE: THE SEX

    I…pretty much can’t watch any of the sex scenes in SPN. They all make me uncomfortable. But this one was particularly embarrassing. I was sort of like OH I JUST WALKED IN ON A PRIVATE MOMENT PLEASE EXCUSE ME.

    • Helena says:

      I think what tips me over the edge here is Sam smiling. Like, stop looking so goddam happy about this, and oh by the way, hurry up already!

    • Natalie says:

      //OH I JUST WALKED IN ON A PRIVATE MOMENT PLEASE EXCUSE ME.//

      Hmm. I seem to have no problem with that. Apparently SPN brings out my inner voyeur. This is possibly not something I should admit, is it?

      • May says:

        LOL! I say embrace it!

        I’m weird about sex scenes in general. I usually find them pointless and exploitive (as in, they exist just to show a naked/half-naked woman). But in the case of SPN, or other shows/films where I like the characters, I find them embarrassing.

      • mutecypher says:

        This is funny. I thought I was alone in looking away during sex scenes when they’re with characters I care about.

        I’m with you May, it seems like the scenes are usually there just so we get the check out this week’s guest babe.

        A friend asked me to watch Netflix’s streaming Sense8 series. It seemed like they used sex scenes in that show for much the same reasons car chases are used in other shows – the creators ran out of plot/character development and needed to fill the 46 minutes with something. I was hoping I’d enjoy the series The Returned – so I could get my Mark Pellegrino fix until Lucifer returned to SPN. But I had the same feeling with that series, “time to get people naked since we don’t have anything else for them to do.”

      • sheila says:

        Yay, admit it! I have the same thing.

        • sheila says:

          Supernatural definitely skimps on the sex scenes. How many are there, in total? Six? I mean, sex is suggested all the time – but how often do we go into bed with these guys? Dean and Lisa were having sex all along – allegedly – and we never saw it once. Same with Amelia-Sam – we didn’t go into bed with them, we joined up with them after.

          I haven’t counted – but there really aren’t many! Each one stands out, in its own way. They aren’t generic. They’re always contextualized. I think they are anyway. I don’t see them as exploitive – I see them as character-plot driven.

          It takes a lot for Supernatural to decide to go there. I think it’s partially because they like to tease their audience – but I also think it’s because they know, deep down, the show isn’t really about that.

          • May says:

            I don’t think all sex scenes are exploitive (just, you know, a lot of them) and I certainly don’t think the SPN ones are. But, the SPN sex scenes definitely fall under the “characters I care about” banner.

            I guess, for me at least, getting to know and like a fictional character starts to mirror getting to know and like a real person*, which increases my embarrassment.

            (*Disclaimer: May does not believe that fictional characters are real. )

  20. Grean says:

    For me it was all about the boys relationship, which is why I am watching. The ending is almost too much, almost too painful to witness. Sam’s pain for Madison and his loss of a future and yes Dean’s pain because it is all about Sammy for him.
    I think we feel too close to the boys to be entirely comfortable when they are undressed or being intimate with someone. It is like watching your parents or siblings have sex, just No!
    The objective part of me may admire their beauty but the other part is stronger.
    Fabulous review Sheila as always. I have been looking forward to this one. I check in on a regular basis to see what you have been doing and am always so thrilled when you post. Thank you

  21. Natalie says:

    Oh, dear, I’m late to the party ;-)

    This episode did not resonate with me the first time I watched it for some reason. I really couldn’t say why, because it’s magnificent. And that ending? My God. (Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, the ending might be the reason. I wasn’t exactly in the greatest headspace when I started mainlining this show, and that ending may have been a little more trauma than I could handle at the time.)

    I don’t have a whole lot to add here, except that I loved the recap, and thank you again for taking the time to do these, Sheila.

    I do just want to point out, though, when Madison tells Sam that he’s seen her entire underwear collection? That is a bald-faced lie. He’s seen her entire sexy underwear collection. You know she has a drawer full of comfy granny panties hidden in her room somewhere.

    • sheila says:

      Natalie – Hello!!

      // I wasn’t exactly in the greatest headspace when I started mainlining this show, and that ending may have been a little more trauma than I could handle at the time. //

      That makes total sense.

      and ha – totally with the granny panties.

  22. mercedes says:

    hi.
    has any of you take notice of how the camera focus its eye on dean’s hands in those steamy images of his non private moments with girls?
    with sam it always focuses on the biceps and upper torso, like the camera is shooting pics for a body- building magazine.

    madison could pass for a painter’s model, for El Greco, her face with those grey hues, big black eyes and jet black hair.

    • mercedes says:

      well, just as sheila brougth up some comment about “the tea/coffee pot” chapter… i found, to my surprise, the worst piece of acting of JA on the show. could it be that it was the first scenes of the character being intimate with a female?. i am not an expert on acting or non-acting but it was a surprise.

      • sheila says:

        I think he’s wonderful in that episode. The episode is silly, but he’s great in it. So I disagree with you there.

        • mercedes says:

          well, our darling jensen ackles can always COMPENSATE dubious scenes to each and everyone of us by, in this case, bringing the actress that portrayed Cassie in the new seasson to come.

  23. Lyrie says:

    Oh my god, I leave for one day and THAT’s what’s going on around here? You guys are awesome. And now I really have to re-watch the end of season 2. Which makes me realize… I’m actually afraid of re-watching WIAWSNB. And I’m not sure I can handle AHBL.

    // “You know I get it. Why you’re the one.” //
    And then you realize « the one » is booze, and that breaks my heart a little (sure, I’m projecting my own shit there. Still. Very sad.)

    So many interesting thoughts! Jessie, I love how you break down the complexity of the wish-verse. You put words on what I had only sensed and couldn’t articulate properly. Thank god some people here are smart and know how to use words.

    I might try to make a list of my favorite moments of the season 2, too (two, too, ha ha (oh, ok, leave me alone)), just for fun.

    • sheila says:

      Yes, would love to hear. People’s lists are making me remember my favorite moments!

      That scene with Carmen is so beautiful – because – you see him in a working functioning everyday relationship. She listens, she sticks up for him, she lets him talk, she doesn’t try to fix it – and he takes it all in. He has no idea who she is – (hahaha) – but he just accepts, Oh, okay, Me in this world is with this woman, so lemme just talk about my problems to her.

      It’s so vulnerable, God. Another Dean – a more protected Dean – might resist. He yearns for softness so much that he rejects it a lot of the time.

      • Jessie says:

        ah yes, Carmen, nurse of the “hold my scrubs up to my chest to check they haven’t disintegrated overnight” school. Is that how you’re supposed to do it? I just grab my work shirt from where it’s crumpled in the drawer and throw it on seconds before I leave. Sometimes it’s inside out.

        • sheila says:

          // “hold my scrubs up to my chest to check they haven’t disintegrated overnight” school. //

          HA!

        • mercedes says:

          hi jessie, i just wanted all of you to know that there is a real carmen porter person in spain. she is a journalist of the supernatural world and works with his husband in a spanish tv program about supernatural world events ( cuarto milenio) ((fourth milenium).

          i am saying this because the nurse on wiawsnb shares the same name.

  24. Lyrie says:

    My favorite moments of season 2. It’s long, but I really edited it.

    – Dean barefoot in the hospital stairs
    – The conversation via a ouija board
    – Jo being very happy to see Dean (  “I can’t see, I can’t see.”)
    – Ash waking up on the pool table
    – The Impala returns: “Listen to her purr.”
    – Dean sliding on the ground and into zombie girl’s tomb
    – Dr Badass is IN – and naked
    – Dean blurting out the truth to Andy and trying to fight it, and appalled by what he just said about Sam in front of Sam
    – Ellen setting the rules of their relationship and that sinking feeling that something huge is coming (Fell On Black Days)
    – The teaser of Crossroad Blues and the invisible hell hounds
    – The Stephen King-esque atmsophere of Croatoan, the paranoia, the weirdness, the emptiness and all the images of the town
    – “Dude, you’re not gonna poke her with a stick!”
    – Dean following Sam’s lead, and then so disappointed to have crushed Ronald’s spirit
    – “You can go get a doughnut and bang your wife, for all I care.” OK, special agent Henriksen!
    – Little Dean on the phone: “My dad was a hero.”
    – The blond bank employee yelling, then fainting, and these two huge dummies not sure what to do about it.
    – Styx. « We’re so screwed. »
    – Bobby knowing his shit and his boys : « Don’t try to con a con man. »
    – Jared Padalecki mouthing with a smile Dean’s line (about the cigarettes if I remember correctly) as Ackles says it.
    – Rooster, the Impala, a cemetery at night

    Making this list just looking at the titles of the episodes made me realize that I have very little recollection of WIAWSNB and of AHBL. I think I blocked them out. I’m going to re-watch them today. First, Folsom Prison Blues.

    • Paula says:

      Andy and Ash in Simon Says. Double dose of awesome. “He full on Obi Wanned me!” Moby Dick’s bong. “Guess I’ll get my pants then”. “I have an evil twin?” Can’t believe I left this one off my list.

      • Lyrie says:

        Right? I love them both so much. I watched All Hell Breaks Loose today, and I’m just inconsolable.

        • Paula says:

          They died at about the same time. I never thought about that before. Ugh.

          They would have made a great team. Ash all cocky and Andy all sweet. Extreme pot smoking and a tendency not to sleep in real beds. Now this would have made a good spin off.

          • mutecypher says:

            Ash and Andy in a spinoff. I like that. “The Stoned Gunmen.”

            I keep imagining Ash and Charlie tunneling into each other’s heavens and having awesome adventures together. Charlie with a luchador mask…

          • Lyrie says:

            That’s a duo I would have liked to see!

          • Lyrie says:

            I was initially replying to Paula, but Charlie and Ash is also a duo I would have liked to see. Ash would probably be interesting with anyone, anyway.

  25. Wren Collins says:

    Re Sam and the beefcake thing vs. Dean’s sexual openness: I think there’s a shift in the later seasons with how Sam’s perceived. In s9’s First Born, for example, there’s that scene where he takes his jacket off so that Cas can do the grace extraction- and I had the ‘for christ’s sake put something on’ reaction that previously I’d only had to Dean. Same goes for the first bit of Fan Fiction, where they’re standing by the car in a single layer each. It’s not necessarily a sexual thing- more of a general vulnerability. The grace extraction scene, for example, was incredibly vulnerable. Thoughts?

  26. mercedes says:

    I like wendigo.
    A tantalizing display of young males/females in the middle of “woods” for hunters, monsters and viewers to dribble and fest upon.
    A world of hunters turned upside down as they become preys of the “Dark”.
    “Little Red Ridding Hoods” hiking with Hunter and “Hansel and Grettels”, chirping and flirting along the way.
    There is a case and a research; a car, a driver, a road and a new beggining, but do not be mistaken. It is Sam Winchester at the wheel (Jared Padalecki as the star of the show) and Dean Winchester as the shotgun ( Jensen Ackles).

    The missing link? That’s the catch!

    P.D/ Any paralelisms
    between
    Wendigo and The Winchesters
    it is, basically,
    in the eye of the beholder…

  27. Wren Collins says:

    My #1 favourite episode is the season six finale, The Man Who Knew Too Much.

  28. Melanie says:

    I want to comment on the episode before I indulge in my favorite season 2 eps or moments, although you have covered those beautifully as well.

    Firstly let me say that the last scene was so powerful and, Sheila, your exposition is amazing. Thank you. Also, yes, the 3 kitchen scenes, so strong as a group, could they carry the entire story standing alone? Proof again that the show is about these two young men, brothers, not bromance buddies, not werewolves, and not sex.

  29. Melanie says:

    As far as the episode as a whole goes, I have to say it bothered me. It was a really good MOTW episode with a good blend of suspense, gore, humor, drama, action, spookiness, and bonus – sex. The thing that bothered me still sniggles around in my head saying, “What does this say about women, about men, about our society?” After all, isn’t that what all of the old monster books are ultimately about? It’s the Jekyll/Hyde dilema. Before I go on let me say I am not a feminist by the socio/political definition of the word, but I am a woman and the mother of 3 young women, so, yeah. Sheila, you talk about how “impressive and unusual” Madison is, Sam’s words. She’s strong, confidant, in control of her life. This is what attracts Sam to her, probably many of those friends she’s with at the bar, possibly even what is drawing Kurt to stalk this new Madison who is so unlike the woman he bullied in their previous relationship. She sits on the sofa and tells Sam, “I was too insecure”. He can’t believe her. “My life changed, I changed.” That’s it, right there. This is the part that won’t let go of my brain.

    Let me back off that for a second. I knew from the beginning that Kurt was not the WW. The show that gives you Molly’s Roadkill plot twist does not hand you the monster that easy. I also knew something was up with “dude across the hall”. (Completely aside, I would love for Sheila to put together a “dude across the hall” in movies commentary for us. Breakfast at Tiffanys and Ghost Busters jump straight to mind.) As soon as Madison said she had been assaulted a few weeks before I knew she was the WW. Why Sam didn’t immediately pick that up, maybe thinking with his other brain, but that would be sexist of me to say.

    So back to what bothers me.

    //Being mugged helped her change her life. She broke up with Kurt. She cut that tie. A horrible thing was the inspiration for her to understand who she wanted to be.//

    This is not what I heard. I heard “Holy Crap! They are saying a woman has to be a monster, a wolf, a b***h, to be safe in this world, in the workplace, with men, in bed!” Almost everything Sam is attracted to (except the great books) is due to her new WW persona. She does not seem aggressive in a bitchy way, but she does have that quiet, scary look of a resting lioness who knows she is top of the foodchain. (See Sheila’s screengrab above of Madison looking out the window enigmaticly.) Sam and we perceive that in her as self assurance. The recklessness you reference earlier, Sheila, is probably also a factor of her “wolfness”, afterall, it isn’t reckless for the predator to be walking in the alley. The tables have turned for Kurt, boss, even Sam. The hunter becomes the hunted.

    So many of you expressed a discomfort with the sex scene. Sheila described it this way, //So as I said, as I watched Sam take charge (after the initial moment where she makes the first move) – and as the scene unfolded and I watched for the first time – I remember thinking, “Sam! You’ve been holding out on us!” He’s a maniac!// I thought you used the words at one point, “Sam let his inner BEAST out”, but I couldn’t find it. “Maniac” or “beast” you get the point. I was still wrestling with the “What are they trying to say about women” thing when they went THERE with the sex. I don’t think I could have turned away, but I had so many competing thoughts swirling in my head, still do. It was certainly beautiful & erotic, and such a relief for Sam to finally find someone, only… At this point in the episode I new as surely as one knows the red shirt starfleet guy is gonna die that the “cure” was not going to work. So again, what does this “beast enhanced sex” say about Sam or about how our society expects a woman to be sexually? Is this necessarily bad or good? Jury is still out on that in my head.

    So I will jump to the end. Here is what redeems the story and the jarring ideas that offended my inner feminist. When Madison summons her strength and tells Sam, “This is how you can save me.” That is the true Madison, the Madison with the great books. Those strong, aggressive qualities brought to her by the WW may have been attractive to the world like shiny objects, but they would not defeat who she was at her core. Her humanity ultimately triumphs. It proves to be stronger than the amimal/monster instinct to survive.

    It HAS to be Sam. He must learn this gutwrenching lesson before it’s too late. Wierdly, in this story of Sam, Madison’s last act ties her not to Sam, but to Dean. They share this ultimate boundary, MY HUMANITY WILL ALWAYS PREVAIL. (F***ing Faulkner) How appropriate that the camera closes on Dean”s face, his SMT. His offer to take the burden from Sam, of course to save his brother from at least some shred of the pain, but he also feels kindred to Maddie. After all, it is Dean who has been charged with “saving” Sam. Will it come to this between them?

    • mutecypher says:

      //Why Sam didn’t immediately pick that up, maybe thinking with his other brain, but that would be sexist of me to say.//

      Just ’cause it’s ‘sexist’ doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Noticing reality shouldn’t be thwarted by ridiculous dogma.

    • Paula says:

      //attractive to the world like shiny objects// this is beautifully put and I love the thought that at the end we saw the true Madison.

    • lindah15 says:

      //This is not what I heard. I heard “Holy Crap! They are saying a woman has to be a monster, a wolf, a b***h, to be safe in this world, in the workplace, with men, in bed!” Almost everything Sam is attracted to (except the great books) is due to her new WW persona.//

      Hi Melanie!

      Thanks for pointing this aspect of the episode out. I think it’s an interesting issue. I had a think about it overnight. (Why, no, I’m not obsessed with this show at all. At all.)

      To start, though, I think it’s important to acknowledge that what the show intends is sometimes very different from what people see. (As Jeremy Carver is finding out this summer.)

      My $.02:

      I don’t think the show intended to make any sweeping statements about women needing to be part-monster to be safe & attractive. Not as a general principle. For one thing, we never see pre-wolfed Madison, so we only have her post-wolf self-judgement to go by. Since she’s already monster-y her judgement can be treated with a little skepticism.

      But if you as a viewer see the principle there, well, the show didn’t offer any counter-arguments within the episode itself, that I noticed.

      However, over the course of the series, there are *many* female characters that are *not* monsters, and who didn’t need to become monsters to be able to stand up for themselves, or to defend themselves, or to be attractive. (Ellen & Jo are recent examples. Tara Benchley in HB is a non-recurring upcoming example.)

      On the other hand, I think it is fair to say that both the show and Sam hone in on people who are monstrous in some way. At least from this point onwards. For example, I don’t think pre-wolf Madison would have – er – pinged little Sam’s radar at all.

      But the show’s focus on monstrosity (of all sorts, super- or natural) has a purpose. It examines what it costs the characters to struggle against it. And how important the struggle is. And how the cost is even steeper when they stop struggling. I don’t think the show ever makes the “gifts” of monstrosity greater than the costs.

      I mean, IMO, Dean is the scariest creature in this episode, bar none. The main difference between Dean and Madison is that Dean can still control his dark side, the side that allows him to be a great hunter/killer/protector. Plus his human compassion is still very accessible and close to the surface. But the long term toll of it all…wow. All hail JA for his long memory and insistence on character integrity. (Now can we bonk him on the head for a TV-amnesia memory reset so Dean can be happy?)

      As for Sam, I am certain his attraction to Madison, someone with a monstrous side, is a deliberate choice by the writers. It’s a character trait and it’s consistent: Sam is attracted to women he believes are just like him.

      Jess was a regular college girl when Sam was trying to be a regular college guy.

      Provenance Sarah was someone just emerging from a period of grief, just as Sam was.

      Madison is a human with a hidden monster side she couldn’t control.

      Season 4 Ruby will be a seemingly well-meaning powerful demon in a human package. (Oh, Sam.)

      Season 8 Amelia will be a bereaved, damaged runaway.

      (Jeeze. I hope this isn’t exponential sequencing where Sam won’t get another girlfriend until Season 16. It’s kinda scary to think who she’d need to be at that point.)

      Whew! I made it through this comment without once mentioning WIAWSN… oops. (I may still be high from WIAWSNB fumes. Sorry.)

      • mutecypher says:

        lindah15 – It makes me so happy when someone notices geometric progressions! And I hope that’s not the case for Sam. May he find love amidst the Darkness.

        I like that like-seeks-like insight about Sam. Nice. He’s gravitational, not electro-magnetic. Might Kepler’s Three Laws of Planetary Motion apply to Sam?

        1. The path of the planets about the sun is elliptical in shape, with the center of the sun being located at one focus.

        Does that mean it all comes back to Jess, burning brightly above Sam?

        2. An imaginary line drawn from the center of the sun to the center of the planet will sweep out equal areas in equal intervals of time..

        As he gets closer to Stanford (his center) does his romantic life happen faster with more force? It did in San Fran in season two. Not so much in the later seasons.

        3. The ratio of the squares of the periods of any two planets is equal to the ratio of the cubes of their average distances from the sun.

        I got nothing.

        • mutecypher says:

          Perhaps his center moved over time and he’s orbiting elsewhere. Dean, perhaps. Or the Bunker for the last few seasons. Hmm.

          Maybe the third law suggests that as it takes longer for him to find love (the planetary period) he needs to search for it farther from Jess. Or wherever his new center is.

          Reply hazy, try again.

          • Wren Collins says:

            So, lemme just throw in that JP hinted at a love interest for Sam in Season 11. At least, he said they’d be exploring a side of Sam’s character that hasn’t been seen in a couple of years, and of course Amelia was two years ago… I am hopeful.

        • lindah15 says:

          Hah! Maths! (Ack!)

          So, I was going to go all fancy and say that Dean would probably be one of Sam’s loci, the one in the center of the sun. Not for romantic purposes, just as someone who controls his orbit.

          But then I got to thinking that it currently makes more sense for the Winchester Solar System to have Sam & Dean as twin suns rotating around each other, crushing all the puny planetary matter that ventures between them (Ruby, Lisa, Amelia, Benny…)

          The only planets with the smallest chance of survival are the ones that orbit the both of them. (Bobby, Cas, Jody Mills, Garth, Charlie, Kevin, Crowley…)

          Sigh. The show has never depicted a healthy romantic relationship for either brother when both of them are in each others’ orbits. They sort of do OK family-wise, just not romance-wise.

          The maths involved would be kinda complicated, since the suns are in motion and the suns’-center-of-mass-locus would wobble or shift with them…

          (Sorry! My metaphors tend to become heavy, practical and tangible, as opposed to airy & poetic.)

      • Melanie says:

        //I don’t think the show intended to make any sweeping statements about women//

        Hi Linda. Thanks for the thoughtful response. I do agree with you. One of the things I love about the show is that they are not afraid to call out controversial topics, shine a light, and say, “this is a thing.” I am sure this is what’s going on here. The aggressive female is a thing in our society with good and bad and maybe-not-sure-yet consequences of being her or not being enough her. Consider pre-wolf Madison who as you point out, //we only have her post-wolf self-judgement to go by.// She was in an abusive relationship. Surely we can’t say that it is bad that she was able to tap into the subconscious wolf to break free. On the other hand ripping her boss’s heart out on his desk in his office is a pretty unmistakeable metaphor. I just looked back to the top to see who wrote this episode. Sera Gamble, yeah that explains some of this. She certainly succeeded with me in calling out my attitudes and judgements. //After all, isn’t that what all of the old monster books are ultimately about? It’s the Jekyll/Hyde dilema.//
        //But the show’s focus on monstrosity … examines what it costs the characters to struggle against it. And how important the struggle is.// The very existence of “monsters” from folklore to modern media grows out of this struggle against the monstrous in ourselves and our society.

        Your observations about Sam’s parallel choices in women are very thought provoking. So how does screwing the doctor that Dean thought was the siren fit into that picture? Dean even says, What is it with you and screwing monsters?” The fact that she turned out to just be a lonely, bitter, divorcee, alcoholic monster… Oh dear! Lies down on couch while heavily, freudian accentented voice gently asks, “Did Mommy take away your dolly?”

  30. Melanie says:

    You are right, but since I was whining about sexist attitudes towards women I thought I should check myself.

  31. Bernanos says:

    I absolutely loved your breaking the final scene down and analyzing it as a collaboration. I don’t know enough about acting or filming to ever get any of that or notice how the elements work together. I just know intuitively that “that was an awesome scene.” I really appreciate seeing someone deconstruct how it all happened and appreciate someone pointing my attention to how good stuff like this is a collaboration. I feel like I really learned something and I love that.

  32. Li Izumi says:

    A very late comment on this episode, but I just started watching the show a few weeks ago and have been following your summaries religiously since coming across them. First, I LOVE reading your analysis. I love learning of the nuts and bolts of acting and production (its why I get dvds of my favorite shows/movies, for the commentary tracks and behind-the-scene featurettes. I’ve gotten spoiled on some shows that have commentary tracks for every episode and I’m super bummed SPN appears to only have a few per season).

    The final scene of this episode GUTTED me when I watched it, mostly for the sheer, raw pain JP expresses, the acting of both J’s, the music, the direction, everything comes together and it just hurts so much.

    But after the episode ended I was left feeling a bit frustrated, like they really rushed to killing her so quickly! Like, they didn’t fully know how her transformation even worked. Is it only when she goes to sleep during the night? In which case, maybe she becomes nocturnal and sleeps during the day and is perfectly human at night. Or builds herself a secure room and locks herself in at night. Is it every night or just fullmoon or just the few days around full moon? Most lore centers around full moon, though she seemed to be transforming for several nights in a row. It just felt to me they jumped to ‘kill’ much too quickly.

    Yes, SHE asked for Sam to kill her, but she just found out that she was a werewolf and that there is no cure. Just make her take at least a day of thinking if that really is the solution she wants first!

    But reading through your summaries and the wonderful comments others have made, I’ve given it some more thought and came around again to the fact that the boys are still very much in the ‘supernatural being = kill it’ state-of-mind, the vampires earlier this season being an exception rather than the rule, and there is no cure for werewolves that they know. And really, if they let themselves dwell on all the beings they couldn’t save, they’d be non-functional under the weight of all their feelings of guilt, when they’re drowning under all their other guilt as it is.

    • sheila says:

      Thanks for reading and commenting – I love it when people show up having found these older posts. Welcome!

      Reading your reactions to the episode – made me realize yet again how much I actually yearn for the good old days when some things couldn’t be cured, when magic only took you so far, when spells/cures/solutions worked on an earthly gritty level – obeying the laws of physics and our natural world – as opposed to now, when they can just call in Rowena to do some Abracadabra bullshit to defuse the situation. Having a character like Rowena just lessens the tension overall – because what was so great initially is that they are just two human men – skilled, with an arsenal, and Dad’s journal full of tips – but there are still things they do not know, and still things they cannot face or fight. The supernatural will always be one step ahead of them.

      “Heart” is so gutting because of that sense of failure. That there are things they don’t know, that they can’t get around. You lose so much in the show when there’s always an “out”, or an “exception”, or a spell that Rowena can cook up. I like it when there are limits. The show really benefits from limits like that.

      • Aslan'sOwn says:

        I agree about the limits. That’s one of the reasons I’m not a big fan of superhero comics: the consequences are always so temporary. The villain lives to come back and laugh another day. The hero calls on his superpowers to save the day again. It just all seems too easy, too superficial. I know there are exceptions with darker themes in comics now, but in general that’s the image I get from superheroes. I find real humans who struggle and lose and get up to fight again more compelling.

        • sheila says:

          Drama can’t exist without limits and obstacles. You can’t have the catharsis of “Oh my God, we just made it through that” if there isn’t real fear that maybe they WON’T come through.

          Obviously in SPN, we know that Sam and Dean will survive. But as long as the series kept reminding us of their humanity – I mean, that werewolf episode last season!! SO GOOD. I KNEW Sam would pull through but its devotion to his agony – the scene with Dean literally digging inside Sam’s body for the bullet – the absorption in their bodies, in general – reminds us of the stakes, and reminds us that they have limitations.

          It’s KEY.

          When I see them taking down a whole SWAT team … my reaction is: Zzzzzzzzz. This is not who these guys are.

  33. joelle says:

    Amazing review. Came straight here after finishing this episode.

    • sheila says:

      Joelle – thank you so much!

      With the passing of Nicki Aycox – and with your comment and Lyrie’s elsewhere – I think I will do a re-watch of the first two seasons. They are so strange and intense.

      Thanks for stopping by!

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