Things We’ve Watched and Discussed, Part 2

Miley Cyrus and Melanie Safka singing “Look What They’ve Done To My Song.” Now, of course (and if you’re not aware that it’s “of course,” then now you know), Miley had already covered this song by herself in her great Backyard Sessions. Here, in a similar vein, she teams up with Melanie Safka, for the same song. Let’s hear it for the ladies. A cross-generational duet, a mutual respect/admiration society, with two similar voices (strong alto voices) blending together. The whole thing is so beautiful and simple. We are huge Miley Cyrus fans (she’s the real deal), and this is one of our favorites. As Mitchell said to me, “I think the kids are KILLING it now.” (In music.) I agree. Don’t listen to the Baby Boomers. (In general, don’t listen to them.) Miley, with all her cartoon tongue-wagging shenanigans, is having a BLAST, and the more people concern-troll her the more I hope she just keeps on keeping on. So far, she’s not a casualty of being famous so young (a la Lindsay Lohan, et al). I have high hopes for her, and can’t wait to see what she does next. This duet, and who she IS during the duet – not just her singing but her energy – is one of the reasons why.

Monologue about Justin Bieber

Similar to Miley Cyrus, the sneering at Justin Bieber not only seems motivated by a weird “Oh shit I’m old, I don’t ‘get it’ anymore” envy, but by bad-faith sneering at the tastes of little girls. There are a couple of reasons that I’m on Bieber’s side. #1. Any success he has was created by himself. He was not created, manufactured, and processed out. He was not “hired.” He put up Youtube videos of himself singing and playing the piano and here we are today. So, hats off. #2. Yes, he’s kind of an asshole. He is also BARELY an adult yet. Jesus Christ, people. Were you perfectly well-behaved when you were 21, 22 years old? If you say “yes,” then I would respond, “Well, then, that’s pretty sad for you.” OR I would say, “Well, imagine who you would be if you became that famous and that rich before you had even reached legal drinking age.” Oh, yes, of course, I’m sure you would have been a model of rectitude, and a good role model, and you would never have “acted out” ever. And if that’s the case, then I would say, “Well, then, no wonder you’re not a big star.” I’m not saying I think Justin Bieber is a nice person. A. I don’t KNOW the man. And B. Who cares? Lastly: anything that Tween girls love should be paid attention to, as opposed to scorned/dismissed. But alas, we live in a vicious little world where girls’ tastes are ignored and made fun of. But in the history of pop culture, what demographic has ALWAYS been the demographic who noticed cool shit early, and were early adopters of whatever HUGE thing that was going to take over and be THE thing? Yeah. It was teenage girls. Who thrilled to Sinatra, and Rudolph Valentino, and Elvis, and the Beatles, and on and on and fucking ON. So yeah, let’s just keep making fun of 14 year olds who love Taylor Swift. She’s one of the biggest stars in the world. Instead of making fun of teenage girls when they start screaming about something … we should be following that sound, curious about what girls are into now, because maybe – and PROBABLY – those girls are “onto” something. As long as we still live in a world where girls are punished for having sexual feelings (this occurs the SECOND they start HAVING sexual feelings at all), then girls will need to LET IT ALL OUT in a safe non-judgmental environment, like loving a pop star/teen movie star/etc. The power of sex drives pop culture. This is a given with boys. But the entire culture doesn’t rally to make fun of whatever it is that boys love. Maybe boys are concern-trolled when some asshole shoots up a school and has declared that he loves violent video games. But those are isolated incidents. Girls get it from all sides, always. Thankfully, the tweens don’t give a shit and just keep screaming and swooning to their hearts’ content, and buying into Twilight whole-heartedly, and then we get worried op-ed after op-ed (written mostly by women, sadly) about what it all MEANS and “what’s going on with girls” and “how sad it is that girls love such a fucked-up unenlightened love story as Twilight.” People, we’re talking about sexual fantasies. Would your sexual fantasies pass an “Appropriate” checklist? Good for you. But lots of people fantasize about some really fucked-up shit. More power to them. They’re FANTASIES. Girls love to feel their own emotions, love to emote and express – and not only is this NOT anything to be mocked, it represents the best parts of our human race, potentially the most healing – for girls AND boys – and we could use a little MORE of that, in general? Girls, too, are the most loyal fans on the planet. Go and stand in line at Graceland with the geriatric set, and you’ll see what I mean. Being annoyed at Justin Bieber or making fun of him or making fun of the 13-year-old fans who love him (remember: they’re 13 years old. In what civilized universe is it okay to make fun of CHILDREN on any kind of mass-numbers level?) while NOT once investigating his music, or even knowing any of his songs – is rude (and stupid) to the Nth degree. Enjoy your moral superiority over …. 13-year-old girls. Proud of yourself? 13-year-old girls gave us Elvis. I thought the documentary about Justin Bieber’s “Believe” tour was not very good, but I went into all of this in my review. He’s an adorable and enthusiastic performer: he loves his fans, and he gives them a good and happy time. He does not come off as a strutting cock-swinging rock star. He is, believe it or not, “age-appropriate” in his concerts. He also can sing. He also can dance. He doesn’t make fun of or mock his own audience. He gives them what they want. I mean, honestly, I see no problem.

Monologue over.

Mitchell and I were talking about how “the kids” were killing it. And he asked if I had heard Bieber’s new song. I haven’t, so Mitchell played it for me. And now I need to listen to it every day to get it out of my system. The song has that “hook,” the sound that gets in your brain, imprinting itself. The lyrics, too, are pretty great. Bitchy, but SMART. The song is in what I call the “Bad Sport Breakup Song” genre, one of my favorite genres. Most breakup songs are tear-filled mournful screams of loss. Or wistful nostalgic ballads like “ah, I remember the good times and I hope you are happy and well my dearly-loved old friend”. I love it when people are NOT “good sports” about breakups and become vicious childish bad sports, and turn their former loved-one into a villain, an asshole, screaming “I never liked you anyway.” Let’s hear it for NOT being gracious, for allowing yourself a season of Childishness, for refusing to accommodate and forgive. Sure, it might become a toxic attitude, but so might any number of other attitudes. Go for it. Be pissed. Be full of blame. (One of my favorite “bad sport breakup” songs comes from Pink, with the perfect title: “Why Did I Ever Like You?” And instead of castigating herself for her bad taste, she turns it into a diatribe about how awful he is. That’s as valid a catharsis as the other healing/growing/changing kind of catharsis – maybe even more so. Pink says: “It’s hard to believe I laughed at anything you said. Your jokes aren’t funny.”)

So Bieber’s lyrics in the song below are smart and observant, even in their “bad sport-ness”.

Best line is something that perhaps only a young man, closer to the cradle than the grave, would say, but no less true and insightful because of that:

My mama don’t like you
And she likes everyone.

Such a good line. And if you have that kind of relationship with your parents, then your “mama” not liking someone is red flag enough.

We love this song.