Photo of the Day

This is Mitchell and Jackie. Two of my dearest friends. We met in college. We then all ended up in Chicago together. I crashed with Jackie when I first landed in Chicago. Then I got my own place. When Mitchell arrived, he crashed with me. And so it goes. We have seen each other through good times and bad, through exuberant triumphs, through crushing disappointments. Untouchable friendships. I’ve posted about my friends before and I often get responses like “I wish I had friends like that.” I do not mean this in a mean way: but before you wish for friends like that, ask yourself: are YOU a friend like that? Listen, tough truths are sometimes welcome. We WORK on our friendships. We prioritize them. We all have separate lives, and other obligations, but we are devoted to our friendships as well. When I hear people complaining about “emotional labor”, I get it, for the most part. You don’t want to be bogged down by an emotional vampire, someone who takes takes takes and never gives, where you do all the heavy-lifting. Yes. But sometimes “emotional labor” – at least as far as I can tell from the complaints – just means … being a good friend. It does take labor. You have to put in the time. You have to keep showing up when things get bad. You have to forgive when someone isn’t at their best. I mean, we’re talking about lifelong friendships here. These are not casual relationships.

I don’t have a family of my own. I will never have a family of my own. I am blessed with siblings and nieces and nephews. But I have also cultivated – consciously – my friendships over the years. They ARE my family. A huge part of my life is working on being a good friend. It’s emotional labor I take on happily.

I love this picture. I took this in Chicago, back when we all lived there. It was a beautiful summer day, and nobody had anywhere to be, so we sat outside at a cafe, and had endless cups of coffee, and talked, and basked in the sun. People left to go do shit, came back, and we all were still there. I took this with the camera my boyfriend (who was by the time I took this photo, my ex-boyfriend) gave to me for my college graduation. It lasted me for years. I took a lot of great pictures with that thing.

This entry was posted in Personal and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Photo of the Day

  1. Nino says:

    “Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

    No sure if you know, but apparently Tennessee Williams never said or wrote:
    “Life is partly what we make it, and partly what is made by the friends we choose.”


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.