Comedy

1. Alex tells us: “I married MacGyver“.

I married MacGyver. I did. It’s not just that Chrisanne can take a paper clip and create a National Bank with 4 branches; it’s that she can take a paper clip and design the plans, hire the workers, install new carpeting, and THEN create a National Bank with 4 branches. It’s really frightening.

2. Patrick Hughes who I think is one of the funniest blogger I’ve ever read – I started to go back through his archives when I first discovered him and literally could not read it at work, because I got WAY too out of control with the guffawing – describes his encounter with robots at Netflix. It’s just the way he writes – something about it just totally hits the ol’ Sheila funny bone.

Cindy! Thank you, that was very interesting information. You’re a robot too, aren’t you? And a very pretty robot, too, I bet! Not like that dry, distant Steven. I like pretty robots. I like you. Write back soon, OK?

3. More from Tomato Nation, this time on New York delis. Her description of annoying Lottery-ticket buyers is SO spot on. She has captured them perfectly.

The average lottery transaction is conducted in a manner so painstaking, so deliberate, so dogged and inflexible that it suggests a compulsive disorder of some kind — not a gambling addiction. Something more like autism. The lottery customer comes up to the counter, plants feet firmly in front of the machine, and will not move and will not break eye contact with the machine or with its operator, and will not interrupt the recitation of the numbers for any reason, and if the recitation is interrupted, the customer will repeat them and then repeat them again as if it is the incantation that is lucky and not the numbers themselves, to the point where the siren and bellowing horn of a passing fire engine is filling the entire deli with sound and the customer is screaming the numbers over all of that, and then when she gets her tickets she just stands there, entranced by them, counting them, sorting them, reading them with her lips moving, like, you already held up the whole line playing fifty different sets of numbers — now that you’ve completed your transaction, do you think you could get your still-not-rich ass out of the way?

4. Jess writes “An open letter to guys on Nerve Personals who are well out of my age range and live in other states yet still wink at me on a regular basis”