Weekend snapshots

— I got most of my hair chopped off. I love it. It looks great.

— My new bookcase was delivered. I put it up in my main room – which now means that I have four bookcases in that one room. My kitchen has three bookcases. And my foyer has 2 bookcases. WHOO-HOO. But the book situation, even with all the bookshelves, was getting out of control. So I had a glorious time rearranging EVERYTHING. I moved all my fiction into the new bookcase – it just looks wonderful. All of my titles, all of my books – six whole shelves of them – lined up – ducks in a row and all that. I moved other stuff around, too. I put all of the first-person memoirs I have (except for the ones by actors – those I keep in a separate section) on their own shelf – I moved all of my science and religion books to another bookcase – so that I could then have more room for my theatre books. I am very happy with the new arrangement.

— I picked up a painting I had dropped off at he framing store … It’s this old stained drawing of Sarah Bernhardt – my dad gave it to me years ago – it’s black and white, she is sitting in profile – It’s an old and fragile work. It’s been sitting in a big thick cardboard envelope for a couple of years and I finally went and got it framed. I chose a big thick old-fashioned frame – with a kind of silvery sheen to it – which totally brings out the starkness of the black and white drawing … It is GORGEOUS. I am really happy with it. Now I just have to decide where to put it. Running out of wall space.

— I am now at the point where I am bummed if I can’t exercise every day. Breakthrough!! Today it’s rainy so … argh. It means I have to go to the GYM as opposed to running outside, which is my preferred brand of exercise. But I have to go. I can’t tell you how huge this is. I used to be that way – addicted to exercise – Like, I didn’t feel like MYSELF if I didn’t take my 8 mile run every day. I would get … antsy and itchy. So the fact that I woke up early this morning, and heard the rain hitting my window right beside my head, and my first thought was: “Shit. No outdoor running today” is a huge breakthrough. Whoo-hoo!!!

— Yesterday was great. A gorgeous sunny breezy day – like something straight out of heaven.

— And during my haircut yesterday – while she was shampooing my hair – I felt a bolt of something very very familiar. I’m doing my one-woman show tomorrow night – I’ve been working on it, and having – shall we say – a very WEIRD week with it. I won’t go into it. Let’s just say that I’ve had a helluva time even working on this damn thing for various reasons. And so my main feeling about performing tomorrow has been one of nervous-ness. And not the good kind of nervousness. More of a: Oh shit. Fuck. I have to do this. Dammit. I’m not ready. Argh. This is the kind of nervous-ness that can make you choke!! Anyway, I was leaned back with my head in the sink, being shampooed – and out of nowhere – I felt a huge burst of adrenaline – like a cherry tomato exploding in my stomach – hahahaha – and it was the GOOD kind of nervousness. It was adrenaline, feeling pumped, and thinking: “I can’t WAIT to do this. I can’t WAIT to get up there.” Funny: I know my own process well enough now to know that I have a week or so of the bad nervous-ness before the good nervous-ness takes over. It’s always just a matter of time before the cherry tomato explodes. I just have to keep doing my work, and keep in the process.

— I rehearsed on my roof for a couple of hours. A sweeping and windy view of the entire gleaming island of Manhattan … the sounds of kids playing basketball a week away – the hovering traffic helicopters, the buildings across the Hudson catching the gleam – I love my roof because nobody else seems to utilize it. I’m up there all the time. So I rehearsed. If anyone had been watching me, they would have thought I was crazy. A chick with SHORT SHORT HAIR (heh heh) in sweatpants, on the roof, standing and gesturing and making little marks on a huge invisible pad of paper (part of the show). But it was good. I had about 10 run-thrus of the thing.

— Took a run along yesterday at sunset time. The beauty was beyond belief. Everybody was out – families, kids, people walking, running …. The sunset blurring the sky – the tall buildings of Manhattan catching the dying gleams of the sun – and bursting out into gold – the purples, and blues – and the high white moon. This is my new routine, and I am BEYOND attached to it.