Four Things

I can’t remember, first of all, where I found this – and I also can’t remember if I’ve done it or not. Oh well. This blog sucks. But it’s fun.

Four things I f*cking hate:

1. Coconut/applesauce (right, Tom?)

2. Self-righteous rigid idealogues, moral scolds, etc. It’s always just a matter of time before people like that fall (and when those people fall? They CRASH), and I cackle with GLEE when they are inevitably brought down by their own appetites, and ultimately their own hypocrisy. Serves ’em right. People like that bring out my meanest streak and I glory in someone else’s humiliation. You know – like when a member of the God squad is caught with his pants down in a dark alley, smoking a joint with 2 illegal-immigrant Mexican hookers? AWESOME.

3. Traveling on a Friday night before a holiday – by train. There’s this vibe in Penn Station – controlled panic – so many people – they don’t announce the gates until the last minute and then there’s a stampede – Every time I do it, I swear: “this is the LAST TIME”. It’s just an AWFUL vibe.

4. Being LATE! Can’t stand it.

Four things I would do if I were a millionaire:

1. Buy a house/apartment – something cute and cozy.
2. Travel
3. Travel
4. Travel

Four things I would change if I could:
1. I would make it so that civilians could cheaply go up into outer space. Like – you could just book a rocket ride out to the space station and it would be no big deal. I would SO take advantage of such a program. On an almost weekly basis.

2. I would make it so that time travel is a reality. I know there are many complications with such a project, but I don’t care. I want to go back in time.

3. I would bring back the old elegance of air travel.

4. I’d wave a magic wand and make all of my friends who suffer from some disease completely well. Abracadabra.

Four songs I can’t help but sing along to:
1. Summer Lovin’ (from Grease, of course)
2. Magic – (from Xanadu, of course)
3. Somebody to Love – Queen
4. I love rock and roll – Joan Jett

Four movies I would be a different person without:

1. Goofy, I know – but I have to say The Legend of Bagger Vance. It’s a dumb movie – but it affected me so intensely at the time that I had one of the only panic attacks I’ve ever had in my life directly following it. Weeping, literally sobbing – my heart burning out of my chest in a fiery mesh – a CRAZY night. I was out of my mind. Made a lot of changes in my life based on that one film alone.

2. Bless the Beasts and the Children – I saw it when I was WAY too young and it crushed me. Devastated me. I was 12, maybe … but … the ending … it was a TV movie, I think – I have no memory of any of it – but my entire worldview was pretty much rocked after seeing that movie. It was one of those soul-growth moments – and it feckin’ HURT. So so sad, very tough lessons. Like: sometimes things just DON’T. WORK. OUT.

3. Dog Day Afternoon. I covered that here.

4. Candleshoe. Starring Jodie Foster as a youngun. I’ve gotta put this on here because it is, I believe, the first movie I ever saw. Like – in a theatre, etc. The only thing I remember about it is a scene with kids sliding across a slippery floor.

Four of my Favorite Things:
1. The sound of rain outside my window
2. Ocean waves
3. Talking with Cashel about whatever it is that he’s thinking about, or up to, etc.
4. A nice cold beer after a long hot day

Four Reasons I Can’t Stand the Idea of Being A Teenager Again:
1. Sadie Hawkins dances
2. Having to go out with boys who are teenagers as well.
3. In my case – I can’t stand the thought of being so self-conscious again, so worried about belonging, fitting in
4. I can’t stand the idea of being a teenager because back then – the whole contact-lens thing was SUCH an ordeal. You had to put saline tablets into solution – let it dissolve – and then you had to plug the container in – to….what … BAKE the bacteria off the lenses? I LOVE disposable lenses, and how easy it all is now.

Four Songs I’m Putting On Rotate Lately

1. Too Much Love will Kill you – Queen
2. Stars and Planets – Liz Phair (if that’s what “selling out” sounds like – then give me more of it! I love Liz Phair and I’ve loved her since her Exile to Guyville days – and the whole “wah wah she sold out” thing is so predictable and so tiresome. I think Stars and Planets is one of her best songs.)
3. Gone – Kelly Clarkson
4. 21 Things – Alanis Morrisette

Four Things That I Can’t Drive Without
1. First of all, drive?
2. Okay, let me pretend I have a car.
3. Uhm – music.
4. Large iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts

Four Things That Make Me Smile

1. The sound of babies hysterically laughing
2. Being with my friends out in Beth’s backyard, hanging out, being together, kids splashing in the pool … heaven
3. The memory of my brother’s imitation of what it would be like if Helen Keller went camping. I am laughing right now.
4. Any kind of Real World/Road Rules marathon.

Four Things That I Watched and Loved
TV series is how I’m taking it:

1. Cheers
2. Flame Trees of Thika
3. Sesame Street
4. Project Runway

Four Things I Would Do If I Won a Lottery
1. Give a ton of it away to friends, family, etc.
2. Travel to the Caucasus, or to Central Asia
3. Buy a car (so I could drive around drinking iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts)
4. Move

Four of My Most Prominent Heritages
1. Irish
2. Irish
3. Catholic
4. Red Sox

Four Things I Routinely Lie About

I ain’t givin’ away all my secrets now. I lie, but why would I admit that? Sheesh.

Four Things I Wish More People Knew About Me

1. That I love Huey Lewis, and always will
2. That I continue to be baffled at the premature cancellation of Square Pegs
3. That Madeleine L’Engle is one of my idols
4. I was so addicted to General Hospital in high school that I CRIED when my swimming lesson conflicted with the show.

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45 Responses to Four Things

  1. JFH says:

    Hmmm, so who’s your favorite couple in the early 80s:

    Luke and Laura (probably too young to have watched during this time)

    Luke and Holly

    Holly and Scorpio

    Felicia and Frisco

  2. red says:

    heh heh No, I remember Luke and Laura! Laura was from Rhode Island, so I had a special interest in her.

    Felicia and Frisco were a little bit TOO ikky for me.

    I liked Scorpio. with his hot accent and his bad hair.

  3. red says:

    But in all honestly I was a Blackie Parrish girl!

    Your knowledge is so impressive JFH – I had totally forgotten about Frisco.

  4. JFH says:

    Yeah, but I don’t ever remember Blackie having any a steady girlfriend (but DID have a man-crush on first, Luke and then Frisco).

    Do you remember when Blackie was first introduced on the show? Rick Webber of “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV” fame, and his wife Leslie took him in and, I think, adopted him.

  5. red says:

    Yes!! Blackie Parrish broke into the cafe and was caught. It was supposed to only be a day-player part, but so many crazed women wrote in that he made him a regular character. And freakin’ John Stamos has never been out of work since. whoo-hoo!!!

    Now … Frisco was also a singer, right? Am I right??

    I don’t remember Blackie being paired with anyone either which was even MORE devastating in its effectiveness. He was a loner!

  6. siobhan says:

    now you have me laughing about bren doing helen keller. “EAH THAYYY EHHYY BEAYHHHH?”
    (translation: “is that a bear?”)
    him runnign into the window?
    oh my god.

  7. red says:

    And Jean being all “Do you want me to take the picture? Because, uhm, I’m not laughing.”


  8. red says:

    Also: how would Helen see the bear?? I am howling with laughter right now.

  9. siobhan says:

    she was the equivalent of statler and waldorf to brendan’s fozzie bear.
    oh my god–laughign again about “helen” ‘playing the piano”.
    oh my god. tears streaming down my face right now.

  10. red says:

    And then when he appeared at the picture window from out of the darkness ….

  11. siobhan says:

    right!! i was thinking–oh well maybe she heard the bear (i was seriously thinking this) and then realized, hello siobhan, she was deaf, too.

  12. JFH says:

    Yep, Frisco was in a band with Blackie on the drums (obviously… remember that Stamos played the drums for the Beach Boy’s Kokomo, at least on the video version).

    More GH alumni trivia: Not only can “Frisco” sing, but he can also play golf. Jack Wagner is a scratch golfer and winner of several celebrity golf tournments (about the only actor that can complete with the ex-professional athletes). Also while he actually married “Felicia” in real life (still think they’re still married but I know they’ve filed for divorce in real life…

    Okay, maybe “I” have a man-crush on Frisco.

  13. red says:


  14. red says:

    oops – that was for siobhan ….

    Yeah, like was she PETTING the bear? The only thing that feckin’ WORKED for her was her sense of touch.


    Jesus. So stupid. So funny.

  15. JFH says:

    siobhan, maybe she smelled the bear?

  16. red says:

    //remember that Stamos played the drums for the Beach Boy’s Kokomo, at least on the video version//

    I love you, JFH.

    I did not remember that. But I am glad SOMEONE did.

  17. jean says:

    “Do you want ME to take the picture? Because I’m not laughing”….um, Jean? Lighten up…

  18. siobhan says:

    imagine poor helen petting something she deemed to be a pet. then realizing: oh my god. it’s a bear. remember also when we wer eon the beach and i saw that dad with a kid on his shoulders and i thought it was a bear. i think ‘bears’ was the theme that summer on teh cape.

  19. red says:

    What was Jack Wagner’s big song? I am now confusing him with Rex Smith.

    Is Jack Wagner: “Allllll I neeeeeeed …”?

    Yes, that’s it, right?

    Rex Smith was: “Ya take my breath awayyyy, and I don’t know what to sayyy….” (Uhm, if you don’t know what to say, then don’t say it, please.)

  20. red says:

    But you captured the moment, Jean! That picture of Bren as Helen Keller camping (uhm – playing the piano??) will live on forever.

    Jean … in the post below this one Mitchell references your imitation of Joey Lawrence back in his Gimme a Break days.

    hahahahaha I had forgotten about that – member how MAD it would make you?

  21. siobhan says:

    i don’t knwo HOW you did not laugh at that jean….that to me is almost as funny as “helen”.
    sheila and i were literally in pain with laughter and there is jean, sitting htere, stone-faced, looking at bren who is like, rollign his eyes back into his forehead “playing the piano”. sooooo funnnnny

  22. red says:

    Didn’t you see a bear at Glendalough, siobhan?

  23. red says:

    //imagine poor helen petting something she deemed to be a pet. then realizing: oh my god. it’s a bear//

    WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY TO ME? I am literally crying.

  24. JFH says:

    Yep, that was Wagner’s one hit wonder… Interestingly, Dr. Noah Drake (Rick Springfield) was supposed to be the next Bobby Sherman in the early 70s (I know this ‘cus my older sister won a copy of his first, maybe second album, from “Tiger Beat” during this time frame). His career fizzled as a teen pop star (Despite the fact that he wrote his own music unlike Cassidy, Sherman and Osmond), and only made it as a popular singer after his work in GH…

    I’m really starting to scare myself with this knowledge of male actors of GH.

  25. red says:

    I loved Rick Springfield back then – I can still see those crazy “artistic” album covers.

  26. Lisa says:

    I saw Rick Springfield once at the DuQuoin State Fair in Illinois. At the time, it was the most expensive show I’d ever been to — a whole $12 a ticket.

    He was hawt.

  27. red says:

    Lisa – hahahaha

    have you seen the commercial with him in it? It was out last year, not still if it’s still around: He’s playing at a state fair, and these two women DRAG their two young daughters into the tent to see him play – there are shots of the little tween girls rolling their eyes, and then there are these great shots of the 2 mothers holding their cell phones up in the air, so their high school girlfriends can hear, from wherever they are. “GUESS WHO WE’RE LOOKING AT RIGHT NOW!!”

  28. siobhan says:

    not at glendalough…good memory though! hunter, james and i saw one sitting with his head in his hands, just so casual. we were at the skyline drive in teh blue ridge mountains. that bear scared the crap out of us!

  29. jean says:

    First of all – it was me who thought I saw a bear at Glendalough, but it was only a cow – what the hell was a lone cow doing haging out in the trees in the woods on a lonely hill?
    How about Helen Keller watching the baseball game? (Facing the stands…)
    Now I really can’t remember why I didn’t think it was funny – maybe I was aggravated with my own life?

  30. Lisa says:


    Back when I worked at the law firm, all the secretaries were about my age. One of them, Renee, got tickets to see Rick at a casino in Mississippi, and when she told us, we ALL, to a WOMAN, squealed like little girls, “OHMIGOD! RICK SPRINGFIELD!”

    She said the concert was utter pandemonium. There was not a man in the place, nor a woman under 30.

  31. red says:

    Jean – member Bren made us all close our eyes?

    “Okay, close your eyes – when I tell you to open them, you will see my imitation of Helen Keller at a baseball game”.

    hahaha so offensive!!!

  32. red says:

    siobhan –

    //sitting with his head in his hands, just so casual//

    That is totally terrifying.

  33. Alex says:

    Okay….wait…..HELEN KELLER GOING CAMPING?????

    I need to see this. I NEED it!

  34. red says:

    Alex – it was sooooooooooo stupid and it was also years ago – but obviously we still cannot get past it.

    At one point – Brendan had to take the joke outside – and we all remained inside – and it was night, and there was a picture window, and he would go flailing by in the darkness, eyes rolling around in his head.


  35. Alex says:

    Sweet Jesus!

    I literally just CACKLED out my door!!!!!


  36. Wutzizname says:

    “…caught with his pants down in a dark alley, smoking a joint with 2 illegal-immigrant Mexican hookers…”

    Oh, I’m sorry…what? What’s the discussion?

  37. Nightfly says:

    Actually, to answer the very first question – you did do something like this, and it wound up spreading to Cullen and eventually to me. For some reason I was just looking at that post yesterday, so it’s fresh in my mind. Almost all your questions are totally different, however, so it counts as a new thing, or at least a sequel.

  38. mitchell says:

    if the people on here only understood the collective lady-power of the O’Malley sisters and Ms. Billings all being in on epalce at the same time!!!!! Im surprised the internet hasn’t imploded on itself!!! I love u all!!!

  39. mitchell says:

    Jean..btw gonna be in Newport from the 7th -11th of June…what are the odds of meeting me for a drink??

  40. Dan says:

    I totally remember Candleshoe – it’s the first movie I can recall going to see in the theater. I even remember the preview – it was for Grey Lady Down, with Charlton Heston.

  41. mitchell says:

    i loved that movie..wasn’t “underfoot” the big clue? Remember playing Celebrity with Tonio and Helen Hayes was reduced to “that old lady in the Disney movie” by Ste??? He was referencing that movie.

  42. amelie says:

    mmm, Candleshoe. i’m going to have to dig that out tonight…

    also, loved the answers to the heritage question.
    1. Irish
    2. Irish
    3. Catholic
    4. Red Sox

    bwa ha haaaaa!

  43. red says:


    Yes and Marilyn Monroe (whose birthday it is today – get ready for a big post!!) was reduced to:

    “Blonde. Bombshell. Dead.”

  44. mitchell says:


  45. brendan says:

    wiojfa;s woeija;c rruwoxca thqpaocj.

    (translation: I really thought it was a bear.)

    this is an internet version of my imitation of helen keller typing her memories of her camping trip.

    anne sullivan

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