I am so excited that it is Christmas here that my arms are blurry so you can see that I am basically FLAILING ABOUT.
The holidays are tough for many people, and the pressure to “be happy” is so ratcheted up at this time of year that it can make life a Living Hell. I have been there. After the year I have had, I am grateful to be alive, to have the family and friends that I do, to have the job that I have, to be supported and helped by doctors who care for me. This time last year I was white-knuckling my entire life and getting ready to go to Memphis for 10 days by myself, scarng my family out of their minds. (Humorously: when I picked up my rental car in Memphis, I programmed in the hotel address into the GPS and followed the directions. I must have messed it up because it did not lead me to the hotel but to somewhere else entirely. A foreshadowing.) Things would get worse before they got better. I have been given a second chance. Or, I took the second chance when it was offered to me. Something like that. Whatever the case may be, 2013 has been a major year for me. Major. I need to remember that, even when the going gets tough.
I am excited for the holidays because I have a new niece. Her name is Pearl. She was born two weeks ago and I haven’t met her yet. I can’t wait to meet her!
I want to wish you all a happy holiday. And if you’re not happy, if you’re in a rough place – like I was last year – like I have been so many years – I wish you peace and comfort and the strength to make it through the bad patch. Be gentle with yourself. Be gentle with others. I wish you all well.
Hey, these conversations have been an unexpected Christmas gift and I will think of them while I am travelling between three different family events tomorrow. Thank you! I am sure Pearl will exceed all expectations, and I hope your day is enjoyable!
Jessie – right back at ya!!
Have a wonderful Christmas yourself!
What a sweetie you are in that photo! I laughed at the description of you “flailing” and I’m reminded of that line in the movie “Big Night” when Ian Holm tells one of the brothers to “take a bite out of life”! That’s what children do, they smile and open their mouths/themselves to the world, the experience of everything.
[Hmm. I just checked IMBD, and he actually says, “Bite your teeth into the ass of life…,” which seems a bit too strong for your photo, but I think you know what I mean! It was his intense exuberance when he said it and felt it, not the crude way he put it, that I was reminded of.]
Happy New Year to you, Sheila!
You too, Sylvia – yes, I was certainly unafraid to be happy here!!
If you haven’t seen it already, Google “Full Moon Silhouettes” and click on the Vimeo link. (I’m not pasting in the link here; my own page kicks off comments with links.) It just kills me, in a good way, and I’m hoping it will you too. Thanks for all your wonderful posts this year. Merry Christmas, Sheila.
Jincy – ooh, thank you for the tip – I will look it up. And Merry Christmas to you too – thanks for stopping by here!!
Thank you, Sheila, for all you do and are. Merry Christmas.
Melissa
PS: were we ever that young? And hopeful? Yes, I guess we were, and could be again, with a little effort. So thanks for spreading joy.
Thank you so much Melissa!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Sheila.
You too, Karen!
Merry merry Christmas. I hope 2014 is grand.
Same to you, Dan!
Merry Christmas! The year ahead is full of wonderful possibilities, unsullied like new-fallen snow. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and insights for another year, Sheila.
Thank you so much Matt!!
Sheila,
Merry Christmas to you, and may 2014 be filled with even greater things. Your unflinching inward gaze and your exuberant curiosity continue to be an inspiration.
And always remember that in at least one tiny way, we’re fellow travelers, thanks to All of Me: “Back in bowl!”
Back in bowl!
Every year this time, either up or down or in between, I think hey I’m not spending Christmas Eve in the drunk tank babe, so I just try to enjoy the company of my loved ones and go from there. Wishing you a peaceful one.
hahahaha I love your comments here, Dg – thank you so much for reading and participating.
Happy holiday, Sheila! I hadn’t read your “Anniversaries” post until just now. It was incredibly useful and pertinent to me. Your posts generally are, but that was really great for me to read just now.
You also helped me out earlier in the year, just by telling me you missed my writing.
I had a weird experience this year in which I discovered that elements of a novel I wrote in the 1990s are present in a very popular work of fiction. (I’m talking bestseller lists.) The characters are the same – one even has the same unusual name – and the plot is clearly borrowed from me. I had sent a copy of my manuscript to a cousin of mine, who is thanked in the acknowledgments to this book. I think the author must somehow have come across the manuscript at my cousin’s house. Although, who knows, perhaps my cousin screwed me over as well?! My emotions about this have been all over the place about this – from feeling incredibly bitter, to feeling extremely sorry for my naive unconfident 20 year old self who gave up on the manuscript after one rejection from an agent, to thinking, my God, this is a sign from the universe that I need to get my act together and write something else, dammit! When people are making millions from my ideas, it’s probably time, no? Ack.
One thing that helped me get some perspective was that little comment of yours. So thanks. And thanks for sharing as much as you do.
Anne – wow. I don’t even know where to begin. The story about your manuscript!! I can’t even imagine what that must feel like. Of course your emotions have been all over the place! Ugh!
I am very glad my little comment helped – you are a wonderful writer, something special. I was glad to have the chance to tell you that.
Have a wonderful holiday. You’re an important part of people’s lives, even those who don’t know you personally.
Thank you so much, Larry!! Right back at you!
Merry Christmas Sheila. I’m so happy there’s another baby in your life – congratulations! I know you’ll be a very important influence on her – you must be a terrific Aunt. I’ve said it before but your writing is a gift in my life. Thank you. And in my mind, whenever I thank you, I always thank your parents for raising you!
Thank you so much, Kate!!
I have met Pearl – I held her for two hours on Christmas Eve – she is absolutely perfect! And it’s so fun to see Lucy and William (still babies themselves) take on the role of older siblings. Much to be grateful for!
Thanks. Sorry to spill my story on your pretty red dress. All my best to you in 2014!
Never apologize! I always love to hear from you even if it’s something as upsetting as the story you just told. There definitely seems to be some treachery afoot there – and I can’t even imagine what that must feel like. Clearly, said author knew a good thing when he/she saw it. But STILL.
Keep writing. :)
and a happy 2014 to you too.