Solstice iPod Shuffle and Some Personal Snapshots

— Part of managing my mental health is managing sleep. I had a rough winter in that regard and have been working hard to course-correct. I bought a sleep mask at Bed Bath & Beyond which has really helped. I thought my bedroom was dark. Only when I put on that damn mask did I realize how much light there really was. So my sleep has been much better and I’ve been dreaming again, my first dreams in 15 years. I’m not used to it!

— Part of getting healthy mentally also means tolerating emotional boredom. Where are the highs and lows? They can be awful but, more importantly, they can be exhilarating and productive and make life worth living? Where are the wild fluctuations? It’s a common thing with “people like me” and must be combatted. Sleep helps combat everything. Everything has to calm down.

— The change in light is problematic for those with my Big Bad Diagnosis, and everything got messed up for me last year with the light change in the fall. It’s annoying. It makes me feel like I’m a freakin’ vegetable or something. The solstice is good because the nights will be getting longer again and that’s always good news for vegetables like myself.

— It’s been a busy time for me. I had jury duty for two days last week and welled up with prideful tears when I was sworn in. It was a bonding experience. Quite humorous in many ways, and rather awesome, as well as annoying.

— I’m working on a long interview I did with an Irish filmmaker about a documentary he’s done that is now out on iTunes, it’s wonderful, and will also be released on Hulu and Netflix later this summer. I’ll provide a link to it when it goes up at Rogerebert.com.

— I’ve also been busy exercising and crushing on someone. You know. Your basic summer.

— I wish I could wave a magic wand and make the big things I yearn for (with my book, my play) just manifest but that ain’t how the world works. So it’s a lot to handle and manage. I’ve been going to the beach a lot as well in the past week, sometimes just for a couple of hours. It helps. I can be a little workaholic. I need to be reminded to chill-AX.

Here’s the music that has come up on my glorious iPod shuffle during this last solstice week, as I tore around to jury duty, to the beach, to Manhattan, and back.

Shuffle is a fun reminder to be open to whatever comes.

So here goes.

“Women Do Know How to Carry On” – Waylon Jennings. Somehow he makes you know it’s a compliment. I love him. Sexy song.

“Drama Queen” – Green Day. Another confusingly complimentary song for a girl person. Sung for an adolescent daughter. Touching.

“What’s Your Sign?” – the wonderful Des’ree. Member her? She’s lovely. Sort of a one-hit type of person, but this is a good song too. She sings: “I’m a Sag, I’m a butterfly, I like to play, I’m always aiming into the sky, I point my arrows extremely high.” As a Sagittarius, I like that a lot. Such a pretty voice.

“You Know My Name” – The Beatles. I love it when they scream. The whole song degenerates into silliness with a soft jazz beat.

“Treat Me Nice” – bratty Elvis making some demands in Jailhouse Rock. You can hear him tapping on the guitar for syncopation.

“Ascot Gavotte” – from the Broadway production of My Fair Lady. Ah, shuffle, you never cease to crack me up.

“The Interlocutor” – Squirrel Nut Zippers. I was really into them for a while. They’re a lot of fun. This is zippy and frivolous, in the best sense.

“Dancin'” – Olivia Newton-John and Gene Kelly in the masterful and hard-hitting Xanadu. The “rock band”‘s counterpoint song is SO offensive it makes me laugh. Dude, believe me, I get to say whether or not you “take a back seat”, okay? Stop bossing me around. “Don’t want to hear what you want, it’s gotta be all my way.” oooookay, psycho. Also: You’ve “got some dancin’ to do”. Good for you. Then dance, for God’s sake. Stop telling me you’re gonna dance and just DO it.

“Something Special” – Randy Newman. He cracks my heart in two. I find him almost unbearable. But comforting, too. I don’t know. When I’m wounded, I can’t deal with him at all, it’s too raw. I’m so glad his music exists.

“An Angel Stepped Down” – Jane Siberry, from New York Trilogy III, her Christmas show at, I think, the Bottom Line. She had a big cast, they sang Christmas carols (traditional and non-traditional), she hosted, and there’s a recording of it. I highly recommend it. I wish I had been there, sounds like a great night.

“Under Pressure” – Queen, live at Wembley Stadium. Frankly, it’s overwhelming.

“God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” – Annie Lennox’s kick-ass version from her wonderful Christmas album a couple years ago. The video is great, too.

“Black Betty” – Ram Jam. YES. Good for working out.

“Person to Person” – Screamin’ Jay Hawkins. It is impossible to listen to him and remain in Neutral. The man sings directly from the fires of hell and lust and dirt. He howls up from the muck. He is unbelievable. Such a showman and madman.

“I Hear Voices” – Hey, look, it’s a Screamin’ Jay Hawkins cluster. He scares me a little bit. He’s just so in it.

“Field of Guns n’ Roses” – the wonderful Mike Viola. He’s one of my favorite songwriters writing today. His band is called The Candybutchers but he has a lot of solo stuff too. My talented sister Siobhan O’Malley opened for him, and he’s one of her idols. It was a major moment.

“Until It’s Time for You to Go” – Elvis Presley, one of his semi-drippy 70s ballads. But it’s extremely personal for him, you can tell. Everything he did always was.

“Galaxy Song” – Monty Python. Ha. And a perfect button to the Elvis song. Elvis loved Monty Python. But then again, who doesn’t.

“Lifetime” – Beth Hart. She kicks ass. I discovered her years ago and I can’t remember how. Maybe a quick blurb in Interview magazine that sounded intriguing. She doesn’t have that much out there. But her songs, her voice. It’s so authentic. She clearly has been through a lot.

“Bigelow 6-200” – the great Brenda Lee. I love her. A rockabilly queen.

“You’re Right I’m Left He’s Gone” – A rockabilly cluster! Wanda Jackson, covering Elvis, on her tribute album to her former beau and inspiration, I Remember Elvis. More on Wanda and Elvis here. If you get a chance to see her live, do so. She’s a legend. She’s still touring. I love that song title so much.

“Digging for Gold” – Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines. Did that album really happen? Did he wear tights? Did I just dream that? But no, I have the album, so it must have happened.

“The Pretender” – Foo Fighters. I’m just glad they exist. They give me a lot of happiness.

“God Is Love” – Lenny Kravitz, on his album Circus where many went, “What the hell is THIS? It’s so DARK. Where’s the hippie-boy in bell bottoms?” I love Circus. He’s an artist.

“You Make Me Feel Like Dancing” – Leo Sayer. OMG.

“Bass Goin’ Crazy” – the awesome Albert Ammons doing some grooving piano boogie woogie.

“There are Worse Things I Could Do” – Stockard Channing, aka the heartbroken world-weary Rizzo in Grease. It’s classic.

“Smoke Gets In Your Eyes” – The Platters. So beautiful. So peaceful. So romantic. And what a voice.

“I Believe In the Man in the Sky” – Elvis Presley at his most godly. I wrote a post about his religious music. The thing about him is he represented the two most extreme poles of human existence – the Sacred and the Profane. And BOTH were equally sincere in him, as they are sincere in all of us (however you define Sacred. We’re talking spirit vs. flesh, the ultimate split.) And our culture still cannot reconcile those two poles, and yet there Elvis is, in human form, embodying that integration. The culture wasn’t ready for him then, and it’s still not ready.

“I Love You Porgy” – Nina Simone. A live concert take. She is so intense. She slows it down, wayyyy down.

“Fight For Your Right” – The Beastie Boys. Another regular on my workout mixes. I love them. I miss Adam Yauch.

“39” – Tenacious D. I adore them. I adore him. It’s so stupid and so funny. Very Van Morrison. “She’s 39 … I’m in my underwear …”

“Lazing On a Sunday Afternoon” – Queen. JOY.

“The Way I Feel Inside” – The Zombies. Beautiful! I love this anecdote from Rod Argent about stopping by Graceland to see if Elvis was home (he wasn’t, but Elvis’ dad let him have a look around) and realizing that Elvis had their albums on his jukebox. It blew their minds.

“Free Speech for the Dumb” – a really relaxing chilled-out number by Metallica.

“I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” – Britney Spears covering the Rolling Stones. People treated it like it was one of the horsemen of the apocalypse. How dare she. I think it’s pretty great. Super dumb, you realize, but also pretty great.

“Dogs of LA” – Liz Phair, from Whip-Smart. I listen to her lyrics sometimes and think, “How does she know … how does she know my deepest secrets … how does she know what it’s like for me?” I wrote about Exile in Guyville here.

“Hold On, Help Is On the Way” – Whitney Houston, from The Preacher’s Wife soundtrack, which is great stuff. I miss her. I wrote about Whitney’s iconic “Star-Spangled Banner” performance when she passed.

“Symphony No. 4 Tragic in C minor” – Franz Schubert, by the Wiener Philharmoniker. I don’t know crap about classical music, but I love this piece very much. H.L. Mencken, one of the crankiest men to have ever lived, wrote a lot about Schubert.

“She’s Fine” – Count Five. It has almost a calypso beat which is so crazy and fun. Clear Beatles influence too. All of their songs are about 2 minutes long. Get in, get the hell out. I love Count Five, and of course I think of Lester Bangs’ huge insane piece about them.

“Let’s Have Sex” – Pat McCurdy. An old friend of mine who is a huge local star in the Illinois/Wisconsin/Minnesota circuit. He plays over 300 shows a year. The man is BOOKED and has been so for 20 years now. I knew him way back when. He wrote a duet for us, I’m on one of his CDs, he thanked me in the liner notes for one of his albums and I still don’t know why. You’re welcome? I performed with him at Milwaukee Summer Fest for 3,000 people, definitely a high watermark in my life. One of the funnest experiences ever. Here we are, crammed into a photo booth at Lounge Ax in Chicago, with Ann Marie, a great friend. Lounge Ax is no longer there, sadly, although it was immortalized in a scene in High Fidelity when they go see Lisa Bonet perform. That’s Lounge Ax. That’s where I spent my Monday nights for the entire time I lived in Chicago. (Monday nights were Pat shows. Good times. Made lifelong friends like Ann Marie through Pat. And Phil. And others.)

“Washing of the Water” – Peter Gabriel. Ouch.

“All Across America” – Reverend Freakchild. Hot.

“Dream a Little Dream” – the cast of Glee. I have probably 15 versions of this song by various artists. It’s a lovely song and this is a beautiful and sweet version of it.

“Not Everyone” – Pat McCurdy again. I have so much “Pat” that sometimes Shuffle gets a bit much. You again, Pat? Go away.

“Big Boss Man” – Elvis Presley. One of his sexiest tracks. Yowza. And listen to what he’s doing between the lyrics. The grunts, the little echoes … it’s almost embarrassing. But not really at all. I mean, he’s in the zone with his hot self. Put it out there. 100%.

“Potiphar” – from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. And this, right here, is why iPod Shuffle is awesome.

“Hello Darlin'” – the great Conway Twitty. Swoopy guitar. His aching voice.

“Galileo” – Indigo Girls. Listen, I’ve been a fan since college. I still am. This is one of their best songs. They’re up and down for me, but there are always a couple of gems per album.

“She Said” – Longpigs. I heard this song on the radio randomly one day and flipped OUT for the song and this guy’s performance. I went out and bought the tape immediately. He is fanTAStic. And for some reason I have never investigated further. It’s indefensible. There are other great songs on this album but this is the keeper.

“Ain’t That Peculiar” – Marvin Gaye. So jamming.

“He Can Only Hold Her” – Amy Winehouse. What a loss. Every time she comes up, I think, “DAMMIT, AMY.”

“Is There Life Out There” – Reba McEntire. Old-school. A storyteller. I will never forget her appearance on the Tonight Show, where she performed this. She wore a waitress’ uniform, there was a set, and she hit it out of the PARK. But what was so memorable was that Patrick Stewart was also a guest and he was crushing on Reba so hard it was so charming and adorable. And what I remember vividly is that when she performed “Is There Life Out There”, you got a glimpse of the darkness of the desk area, where Leno and Patrick Stewart were – and Patrick Stewart had stood up and moved out further, so he could watch. It was such a gesture of professional respect – but also “I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS WOMAN” – it was awesome. I just found the clip on Youtube.

“Blackjack” – Ray Charles. Great makeout song.

“96 Tears” – Question Mark & The Mysterians. Classic. Groovy.

“Hang Me, Oh Hang Me” – Oscar Isaac, from the wonderful Inside Llewyn Davis soundtrack. Loved the film.

“Doth I Protest Too Much” – Alanis Morissette. Don’t ask questions if you don’t want an honest answer, Alanis.

“God Is Dead?” – Black Sabbath. Love the question mark. Also love those simple eerie opening chords. Get ready. 9-minute song coming up.

“Suppertime” – Levi Stubbs, from the movie Little Shop of Horrors. Gloriously fun. Such a great vocal performance.

“My Darling Child” – Sinéad O’Connor, from Universal Mother, an album I love. She has a new one out, I believe. Haven’t bought it yet. I will follow her to whatever lunatic landscape she wants to explore.

“Beale St. Blues” – Eartha Kitt. This song is in the Top 25 Most Played songs in my entire collection, so that should tell you how much I listen to it.

“My Love and Devotion” – Doris Day. I have a huge collection of her greatest hits. She was so smooth, so talented, such a beautiful voice. I got Mitchell talking about Doris Day (and others) here.

“Blood Red Roses” – The Clancy Brothers & Tommy Makem. The soundtrack of my childhood. I knew all of their songs by heart by the time I was 4 years old.

“Words of Love” – Buddy Holly. So sweet and hopeful-sounding.

“Rich Woman” – Robert Plant & Allison Krause. What a great album. One of my favorite albums of that year. The pairing seemed surprising, before you had heard the tracks, and then when you heard them, it made total sense. I’m a huge fan of both of them. Robert Plant said an interesting thing that one of the reasons he was drawn to the project was that it would give him a chance to sing the harmony-line, something he never had to do as the lead singer of Led Zeppelin. So every time I hear him gently take that harmony line, I smile. Wonderful album.

“’97 Bonnie and Clyde” – Eminem. Good times. So sweet. So fucking sick.

“Sister Anne” – MC5. Ferocious. Love them.

“Think It Over” – Buddy Holly. That’s right, Buddy, throw it back in her court. If she’s playing hot-cold with you, call her on it. I love the boogie-woogie piano break. It’s not time-capsule music. It’s alive, fresh.

“This Little Girl” – from the Broadway musical Matilda, which I have not seen, but I absolutely love the music.

“Pick a Little, Talk a Little” – the ladies from Music Man. I grew up on musicals, and Music Man was my favorite. It was a family favorite. I remember my mother and father ROARING at the line-reading of “Ballllllzac” in this song, and I didn’t get it, but I knew they thought it was funny. Now I understand. My sisters and I can sing the entire musical beginning to end.

“Joe Bean” – Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison, one of my favorite albums of all time.

“In With the Old” – my incredibly talented sister Siobhan O’Malley, from her album Alibi Bye. She never ceases to amaze me.

“I Think I’ll Just Stay Here and Drink” – Merle Haggard. He’s the best.

“Jet Lag” – Brendan Benson, a guy I LOVE. I have Apple to thank, I guess, for introducing him to me because they used one of his songs as the music for an iPod commercial and I immediately had to Google him. And what a treat to discover him. He’s prolific too. Lots of albums. He is incapable of writing a boring or stock song. I adore him.

“Don’t Forget Me (When I’m Gone)” – Glass Tiger. Oh my God, I own this?? With Bryan Adams swooping in at the end?

“But Not For Me” – Dinah Washington. She has such a sexy voice, such perfect phrasing. She’s not just a singer. She’s a musician. Her voice is an instrument. I love her stuff.

“Rocking” – Shawn Colvin from what I refer to as “her suicidal holiday album.” Seriously. These are songs you want to play on a Christmas when you’re all alone, have no family, and are contemplating ending it all. Perfect accompaniment.

“Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” – Elton John. I was extremely into him in high school and college. Not so much now. But Betsy and I going to an Elton John concert in college is a treasured memory.

“woman down” – Alanis Morissette. I make fun of her but I love her. It’s strange. I love her latest. I like her best when she’s PISSED, like here. And, of course, I will love her forever for this.

“Take What You Got” – Andy Kelso and Stark Sands from Kinky Boots, another show I have not seen. But I love the music. I love Cyndi Lauper, and her Tony acceptance speech made me weep. Stark Sands was great in Inside Llewyn Davis!

“Overture” – for Big River. My sister Jean and I can sing Big River in its entirety from start to finish. And we have. We have driven other people out of the room because we can’t stop. I understudied Big River at the Walnut Street in Philadelphia, my first Equity points ever.

“Time Stands Still” – Pat McCurdy. One of his most romantic songs. Heartbreaking. From Showtunes, the album I’m on. Because, yeah, it’s all about me.

“Can’t Fight This Feeling” – REO Speedwagon. Dying. What the hell, Sheila.

“Blackbird” – The Beatles. Perfection.

“Fuck Time” – Green Day. Isn’t it always fuck time? This is from ¡Dos! – I get confused. They put out three albums on the same day or something like that, I’m still making my way through them. This is great. Macho sexual posturing. Bring it.

“The Main Event” – Barbra Streisand. I honestly don’t think I could be happier than I am right now hearing this.

“Don’t Just Sit There” – Lucius, one of my recent discoveries. They are fantastic.

“Feel” – Robbie Williams. I was wondering when Robbie would show up. I have missed him. Superstar. One of the best things going right now.

“Speic Seoigheach” – The Chieftains. I think I tapped out to listening to them at around age 6, it was the air I breathed at home, but whaddya know, I still have all their stuff.

“Girl” – The Beatles. That breathing in … it freaked me out when I was a kid. And rightly so. The lyrics are pretty disturbing! Abusive relationship! Run!

“Shop Around” – The Miracles. Good advice.

“Your New Clothes” – John Wesley Harding. This song was on some long-ago mix tape given to me by a boyfriend. The relationship ended. The cassette tape was lost along the way, in all my moves. But suddenly – and recently – this song came into my mind. I knew it had something to do about clothes, and that “your new clothes” was repeated at one point and the words “mythic Tarot” were also included. Through those meagre clues, I tracked the song down. It’s as wonderful as I remember. Listening to it again felt like reuniting with an old friend. That boyfriend came racing into my mind again, three-dimensional, the way he smelled, the way his hands felt … all as I listened to the song. Music can be incredible that way, memories erecting themselves with the song.

“Symphony of Destruction” – Megadeth. Oh YES. Must be blasted at 11. Otherwise you just can’t understand.

“Waitin’ in School” – the wonderful Ricky Nelson. From Megadeth to Ricky Nelson. You can’t get better than that.

“Eleanor Rigby” – The Beatles. “Eleanor Rigby” HAUNTED me as a child. Every line. Every image. The song felt so grown-up. I knew it was not a happy song. But I did not understand. I understand now.

“Old Before I Die” – Robbie Williams. I had never heard of him before (which now seems completely insane I love him so much) and then went to Ireland in the late 90s and “Millennium” was on every radio every 20 minutes. It actually got to be annoying. I asked my sister, “Who the hell is this person?” She gave me the lowdown. I bought the CD at a Tower Records in Dublin. I’ve been a fan ever since. I honestly thought he might flame out early, because he is such a bad boy, and had problems with drugs and alcohol. But he got his shit together, he’s a superstar, and is now coming out with albums of swing music classics, and it’s not done ironically, or tongue in cheek – he really is a Rat Pack guy, he really can handle such material. He’s awesome. I look forward to whatever he does. So let’s close out with him performing “Old Before I Die” live.