{"id":156456,"date":"2020-04-01T09:47:35","date_gmt":"2020-04-01T13:47:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=156456"},"modified":"2020-04-02T09:49:36","modified_gmt":"2020-04-02T13:49:36","slug":"watch-what-you-want-find-comfort-where-you-can-it-is-strength-hope-giving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/?p=156456","title":{"rendered":"Watch What You Want. Find Comfort Where You Can."},"content":{"rendered":"

I originally posted this on Facebook. It is not directed (as far as I know) to anyone who reads me here. But I still think it’s important to share, as a general commentary on the VIBE I have noticed post quarantine. This is also a VIBE with or without a quarantine, but that it is still showing up as people are hunkered down and scared is disgusting – truly – and I felt I had to address it. <\/em><\/big><\/p>\n

It has come to my attention that many film critics and culture critics – true to form – are being snobby and judgmental about what other people are watching while social-distancing and quarantining.<\/p>\n

I am sure these people would “approve” if we all just watched Antonioni from morning til night (and I love Antonioni), or delved into the depths of Bergman’s Winter Light<\/em>, in order to really GROK the meaninglessness of our suffering. (And I LOVE Bergman). But there are those who are tut-tutting others (when film critics spend an inordinate amount of time tut-tutting others: they are telling on themselves) and concern-trolling people for binge-watching Friends<\/em> re-runs or whatever … anything they deem irrelevant and\/or not important enough. Or – because these people are always so worried about what other people are doing (a form of authoritarian groupthink, by the way), they just want us all to SUBMIT to what THEY think we should be doing. Who has the TIME to worry about other people to such a degree?<\/p>\n

I have never had much to do with said people although I encountered them early on on my blog.<\/p>\n

One of my favorite things that ever happened in the history of my site is:<\/p>\n

One day I wrote IN DEPTH about what had happened on The Bachelor <\/em>the night before. (I probably don’t have to tell you that it generated 100s of comments). One of the guys (it’s always guys. #sorrynotsorry If the truth hurts, then look in the mirror. Be better. If you aren’t one of those guys, then congratulations for not being a cliche) who read me because of my film commentary was very “disappointed” and said, “I am very disappointed to see you indulging in such shallow things.” Boo hoo, he felt left out. I said something like, “You’ve been reading me for years – if you haven’t picked up on the fact that I love all kinds of things – then you clearly aren’t reading me very carefully.” <\/p>\n

And then THE FOLLOWING DAY, because my site has always been eclectic: I wrote this whole thing about Nora Joyce’s opinion of Finnegans Wake<\/em> – because it’s fascinating and also punctures the still-widely-held opinion that James Joyce’s wife was some un-read wild illiterate woman. One of the guys who read me for my commentary on totalitarian regimes – because that’s one of my “things” – sneered at my post as “elitist”. He always got angry when I posted about art. He bristled when I praised MoMA for God’s sake. Good riddance. Besides, he clearly hasn’t read James Joyce and so doesn’t know that Joyce’s books are full of extremely elitist things like … fart jokes.<\/p>\n

To re-cap: in a 24-hour period, I was called both “shallow” AND “elitist.” I considered it one of my greatest victories and ALSO maybe the truest description of me in existence.<\/p>\n

To those bemoaning the taste of people – said people who, I don’t need to remind anyone – are holed up in their homes, sometimes with young children running around – so now these people have to suddenly homeschool their children – while also worrying about their elderly parents as well as losing their jobs in many cases which means they may lose their houses – those bemoaning the fact that these people aren’t choosing to watch L’Eclisse<\/em> and ponder the inevitability of humanity’s demise – I don’t know how you can’t SEE yourselves to such a degree that you can’t see that JUDGING people – who are struggling through an unprecedented time and worrying about their futures – for binge-watching some new documentary about a man and his tigers – is the height of being a GIGANTIC CRASHING BORE. I would walk away from you at a party and go find the crowd of gay men lip synching to Cher’s Greatest Hits. I would RUN from you.<\/p>\n

Might I remind you that during the Great Depression, Americans flocked to see Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers – in tuxedo and shimmering gossamer gown – floating across shiny floors in mansions or across romantic-looking parks at night – parks DEVOID OF TENT CITIES – bringing with them the fantasy of ease, beauty, romance, as well as ZERO worries about money. I also shouldn’t need to remind you since you are tho thuper thmart that Depression-era audiences flocked to see screwball comedies where women wore gravity-defying hats – even the hats had senses of humor – and the only thing on anyone’s minds was “How on EARTH will I even SURVIVE my interaction with this SCREWY HEIRESS chasing me around?”<\/p>\n

There’s a place for digging into The Grapes of Wrath<\/em> during a catastrophe like the Dust Bowl. Of course. But there’s also a place for Swing Time<\/em>, and Swing Time<\/em> may be even more important because it gives hope, it allows people to forget – and during that space of forgetting, they remember themselves and better times, and it gives them strength to go on.<\/p>\n

It’s funny how people who claim to be Experts in film don’t get this, don’t understand the history, and … even more importantly … don’t seem to understand PEOPLE. How can you not understand human beings and consider yourself qualified to write about a popular artform like the movies?<\/p>\n

I understand why online pubs published things like “5 Movies about Pandemics to watch while you’re at home” They’re film journals and being relevant is part of staying afloat in extremely treacherous times when film magazines are collapsing left and right. Look at how many people watched Contagion<\/i> as this virus intensified in scope. Knowledge is power. Understanding what is happening and what might be about to happen is also a way of bolstering your strength for the bumpy road ahead. I feel no judgment towards editors and writers who pitched such pieces. That’s not what I’m talking about here.<\/p>\n

I’m talking about people sniffing at the Viewing Lists of their fellow HUMAN BEINGS, who are just trying to get through the day while washing their hands every other minute and trying to Face Time with their grandmother who has dementia.<\/p>\n

I am shallow AND elitist and proud of it. I love Ozu and Godard and Cassavetes and Bela Tarr. They are not who I feel like watching right now. (Here is a necessary reminder: if you only want to watch Antonioni during your quarantine: I don’t judge YOU for that. I understand that people are, essentially, free. I cherish my own freedom, but, more importantly, I cherish the freedom of others. Would that the opposite were true. I am not saying that ONLY so-called “low-brow” things are good. Do not misunderstand me. I am spending part of my quarantine reading the second volume of Proust’s masterpiece In Search of Lost Time<\/i>. So my point is: we are all free to do what we want to do and when we want to do it. Being prescriptive is BOSSY. Who the hell do you think you are?)<\/p>\n

So here’s what I am watching:<\/p>\n

1. I have started a re-watch of Supernatural<\/i>, because Supernatural<\/i> was 2 episodes – TWO EPISODES – away from wrapping up their 15-season run when the production had to shut down. Whether or not they will be able to come back and complete those episodes – so we can see how this thing is supposed to end – remains an open question. So I have gone back to the beginning to re-watch something I have watched 10 times through – am re-posting re-caps on my site – and all of the Supernatural<\/i> fans who are regular readers of mine have come together again, to talk about world-shaking socially-relevant topics like how gorgeous the two leads look in their flannel shirts, the way Sam’s hair has changed over the years, the fluidity and boundary-less sexuality of Dean, and what the hell was going on with their father during Season 1 when he refused to take their calls. All MEANINGLESS in the face of today’s struggles – but we find momentary and important respites, as well as comfort in “being together.”<\/p>\n

2. I rented Emma<\/i>. on Amazon Prime – Emma<\/i>. was in theatres when everything shut down and it’s a small film, but was getting a groundswell of critical and audience support, and so whatever ticket-prices the film might have generated – which would secure it and its talented first-time director as having directed a hit thereby helping her to get future projects greenlit – was cut off. So they released it on Amazon. You can rent it for $19.99. They’re hoping to recoup some of their losses – an understandable choice. Because I want to support this film as WELL as its director (I want her to do more) I ponied up the cash (which – by the way – is cheaper than a night at the movies here in New York, especially if you go WHOLE HOG and buy a medium-sized popcorn). I watched it a couple of times because<\/p>\n

1. I loved it – I reviewed for Ebert<\/a> – and I had wanted to see it again where I didn’t have to take notes<\/p>\n

and<\/p>\n

2. I discovered it was as good as I remembered and actually even better.<\/p>\n

and finally: <\/p>\n

I watched it multiple times during my rental of it because of my brand-new GIGANTIC crush on Johnny Flynn – whom I was unfamiliar with prior to Emma<\/em>. (I was at the press screening with Stephanie Zacharek<\/a> and we walked out of there into the rainy morning and I said, “JOHNNY FLYNN. WTF???!!!” and she said: “I KNOW.” <\/p>\n

I mean, COME ON. <\/p>\n

\n\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\n(Turns out I had seen Johnny Flynn in something: he was the weird dirty boy in Beast<\/i>, a film I loved and also reviewed for Ebert<\/a>. Update: He was also in Clouds of Sils Maria<\/i>, but I hadn’t put it together it was the same guy.)<\/p>\n

So anyway: he was so GOOD in Emma.<\/i> I did some research, followed recommendations from well-versed JF fans, and decided to check out Lovesick<\/i> – a three-season situation comedy now on Netflix about a guy (played by Flynn) who gets the news that he has chlamydia in the first 5 minutes of the pilot and then has to go through the process of re-tracing his sexual steps over the last 7 years and contact every woman he slept with in order to inform her that she should get tested. And it’s a lot of women.<\/p>\n

A reminder: I am ONLY watching this for the extremely intellectually elevated reason that I walked out of EMMA. and screamed into the general Bryant Park area: “JOHNNY FLYNN???!!!”<\/p>\n

Lovesick<\/i> has nothing to do with the zeitgeist or anything that these self-appointed critics – being all “disappointed” that scared people stuck at home are watching a documentary about a dude and some tigers – deem as worthy of my time.<\/p>\n

And you know what? Lovesick<\/i> is so good!! The cast is excellent! It’s often hilarious. It reminds me of The Mindy Project<\/i>, in a way, because the entire cast of characters – even though they are adults – (and in the case of The Mindy Project<\/em>, all have serious careers as doctors) ALL they care about is romance and love and hooking up. There is nothing else on anyone’s minds. We don’t even learn that JOHNNY FLYNN!!!!’s character has any kind of job until Season 2, that’s how unimportant it is. People barely have parents. <\/p>\n

What matters to these people is love. And their relationships. And the failed hookups. And the hope for more from someone who really isn’t all that into you. And etc.<\/p>\n

I am absolutely loving it. Plus Daniel Ings is a comedic genius. <\/p>\n

Check out Lovesick<\/i>. It’s such a wonderful escape because<\/p>\n

1. There is so much sex and kissing in it as well as<\/p>\n

1a. hanging out in crowded bars<\/p>\n

1b. dancing in nightclubs<\/p>\n

1c. long affectionate hugs between friends<\/p>\n

1d. finger food passed around on a plate at parties<\/p>\n

In other words: it feels like it comes from the distant past: look at all those people TOUCHING EACH OTHER! So much TOUCH!<\/p>\n

I want to go out to a crowded club and TOUCH randos and later on endure a Walk of Shame and then go to a party where I dip my chip into a bowl of salsa that other people are also dipping their chips into.<\/p>\n

You get the picture?<\/p>\n

and<\/p>\n

2. Johnny Flynn is the lead. He is in every scene. Win-win.<\/p>\n

It’s also a wonderful escape because<\/p>\n

1. Laughter is actually good for you. Physically.<\/p>\n

and<\/p>\n

2. It’s about a serious subject that matters to many people who haven’t sworn off love and gotten all bitter: getting together with someone you like, finding someone you like, this is really central to a lot of people, especially – ahem – those of us who are single and are finding quarantine challenging for our own reasons. I mean, Hope is fine, but she doesn’t respond when I talk to her. (An amusing and unexpected byproduct of this unprecedented time is hearing from all these men in my past. Just reaching out to say hello, see how I’m doing, connect. It feels good.) The series knows how much people think about love and goes with it. I’m slightly tired of “I CAN GET ALONG WITHOUT A MAN” somehow meaning a woman is liberated. Of course I can “get along” without a man. I have and I will. But … it sure would be nice to have one around? Does that make me retro as well as shallow and elitist? Fine. I take love very seriously and so does Lovesick<\/i>.<\/p>\n

Plus, PLUS … Did I mention that Lovesick<\/em> has<\/p>\n

JOHNNY FLYNN!!!<\/p>\n

Stop judging other people for what they respond to and how they find comfort. Who the hell do you think you are? You remind me of one of Oscar Wilde’s most essential observations, one I have used as my modus operandi in social interactions ever since I first read it:<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.\u201d<\/p>\n

[Footnote: If you feel kneejerk defensiveness in response to this … if you want to fire back a reply “playing devil’s advocate” … I am talking to you.]<\/p>\n

In a time of great and collective stress, when everyone is scared and dealing with change unimaginable a month ago – you have made the choice to be TEDIOUS.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I originally posted this on Facebook. It is not directed (as far as I know) to anyone who reads me here. But I still think it’s important to share, as a general commentary on the VIBE I have noticed post … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[28,4,3,31],"tags":[424,301,1415,259,2599,1898,1287,2543,2263],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156456"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=156456"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156456\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":156600,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156456\/revisions\/156600"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=156456"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=156456"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sheilaomalley.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=156456"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}