I was in college, and doing a show. There was a cast party happening at my friend David’s house (you all may remember him as a guest-blogger here). David lived with some of his frat buddies at a house in the woods. It was Party Central, as you can imagine. I was getting a ride to the party with my friends Mitchell and Steven – at this point, none of us had been to David’s house yet, and so – in the frenzy following the show, with basically the entire department wiping off their makeup, changing costumes, racing about, the post-show adrenaline, etc., not to mention the thrill of going to a PARTY – David gave us directions. Steven, Mitchell and I listened faithfully.<\/p>\n
And then we set out into the woods.<\/p>\n
This story has a bit of a Deliverance aspect to it, although the Deliverance was all in our minds.<\/p>\n
Our college was surrounded by forest and turf farms. Dark winding country roads, random dark lakes, very easy to get lost. Which is what we promptly did. There are no street lamps, we were driving around through a wooded neighborhood, we were stopping the car to LISTEN to the wooded silence, hoping that we could hear the mayhem of the party and follow the audio clues … No luck.<\/p>\n
Finally, we thought we knew where we were going – and Steven realized he needed to turn around. We all were itching with impatience to get to the party. We were in college. We were theatre geeks. You get the drift.<\/p>\n
So Steven randomly pulled into a driveway to turn around.<\/p>\n
And here is what ALL THREE OF US SAW:<\/p>\n
A small white house, one-story. On the front of it hung an enormous thick black cross. And there was a sign on the front lawn, revealed in our headlights, that said: “SACRIFICIAL LAMB.”<\/p>\n
Needless to say, we all freaked out. Pandemonium ensued.<\/p>\n
“Holy shit, turn the car around…”
\n“Get the fuck out of here … ”
\n“Steven, back up, back up, Sacrifical Lamb, holy shit….”
\n“DRIVE, STEVEN, DRIVE!”<\/p>\n
Steven frantically peeled out of the terrifying driveway and we tore off, badly shaken up. We talked amongst ourselves.<\/p>\n
“Did we all just see that?”
\n“What WAS that??”<\/p>\n
Finally, we find the party. Which is now barreling along at full throttle.<\/p>\n
We come into the party and immediately regale everybody with the scary little white house, the big black cross, the terrifying sign of SACRIFICAL LAMB.<\/p>\n
David came over. Confused. “What house? Where?”<\/p>\n
We described where, feverishly.<\/p>\n
He thought a bit, and then the light dawned. “Guys, a doctor lives in that house. He has an office in his house – and the sign said ARTIFICIAL LIMBS not SACRIFICAL LAMB, Jesus Christ!!”<\/p>\n
We kept protesting: “But we all saw it! We did! We did!”<\/p>\n
“And what about the black cross??”<\/p>\n
The black cross turns out to be some kind of apparatus which goes up to his satellite dish on the top of a house, and it just LOOKED like a huge cross.<\/p>\n
Mitchell, Steven and I felt like complete jackasses, and yet we also kept reassuring ourselves of our collective sanity. “I know I saw the words Sacrificial Lamb, didn’t you?” “I totally saw the words Sacrificial Lamb, totally…” “No doubt. No doubt.”<\/p>\n
Nodding at each other as we stood by the keg, guzzling cups of beer.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was in college, and doing a show. There was a cast party happening at my friend David’s house (you all may remember him as a guest-blogger here). David lived with some of his frat buddies at a house in … Continue reading