One of the things that I choose to believe, as I make my way through the wandering rocks of life, is that God doesn’t make mistakes. This, obviously, is a matter of faith, and very often – when things are tough, or when terrible things happen like Beslan, like every other horrible cataclysmic event on this planet etc. – this belief of mine is challenged. I believe in God. But Beslan? God??? GOD? HELLOOOOOO?<\/p>\n
This is part of life, I believe. At least a part of my life, where I believe in God, and I believe in connections, patterns being revealed … that there is an underlying sense. I also believe that this faith of mine is MEANT to be challenged. It’s not easy, or black and white. It is faith that is of this world, and meant to be shattered, and crashed … so that I am constantly examining it and not hiding from reality.<\/p>\n
Something like Beslan shatters the faith. The Holocaust shatters the faith. Andrea Yates shatters the faith. Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy shatter the faith.<\/p>\n
Then along comes something like this story<\/a>.<\/p>\n And I think to myself: There are mistakes in humanity. There are freaks of nature, embodied in one human being. People beyond the pale. People who are aberrations. Mistakes<\/i>. Something went wrong in the factory or something. I believe that certain people are born “missing” certain things. Like – er – a conscience. Or compassion. The sense that other people are actually REAL, and not just extensions of your own ego. This is controversial, I know, but I believe certain people are born missing those things.<\/p>\n I don’t care what horrible thing was done to you. I don’t care what “rubber-ducky” explanation<\/a> is given for why you are such a big fucking evil mistake. I don’t give a shit. I don’t care that Mommy didn’t love you enough, and Daddy beat you upside the head. I’ve got plenty of friends who weren’t loved by their mothers, who were abandoned by their fathers, who were sexually molested, who were basically born into a shitty fucking world – I’m sure we all do – and you know what? My friends didn’t chop up their neighbors, didn’t travel through the country dismembering random women, didn’t shoot up their schools. They got through it.<\/p>\n Look at that freak. <\/a> I do not care what pain she went through or what “happened to her”. She’s a freak <\/i>of nature, she is beyond the pale<\/i>, and what she did wasn’t just bad and wrong, it was evil. That smile, that goopy-eyed smile, is one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen in my life.<\/p>\n I know a lot of people think that calling people like her a “freak” is a cop-out. It means I do not want to deal with the larger societal issues, that it’s easier to call names, etc.<\/p>\n Bah. I don’t believe that.<\/p>\n I think the tougher thing to contemplate, the scarier thing, is that there are those out there who just are born bad<\/i>. (John Steinbeck NAILED this in East of Eden<\/i> with the chilling character of Cathy.) Such people are rare, thank goodness. But I do believe they exist.<\/p>\n Scott Peck, in his terrifying book, People of the Lie<\/i> tackles this issue, too. Very controversial, because he’s a psychiatrist! But he takes as his thesis the premise that – We don’t know that pure evil exists. We can’t know it for a fact. But … let’s just consider the possibility<\/i> … what is wrong with considering the possibility?<\/p>\n Peck defines evil as being unwilling, literally, unwilling to change, grow, move, transform – people who absolutely REFUSE to look inward, and see: Huh, this is why I’m acting this way. I know people like that and I’m sure you do, too.<\/p>\n Anyway. That’s what I think of when I look at that freak-ass bitch’s crazy smile.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" One of the things that I choose to believe, as I make my way through the wandering rocks of life, is that God doesn’t make mistakes. This, obviously, is a matter of faith, and very often – when things are … Continue reading