I look back longingly on the good old days (which means about 3 or 4 years ago) when I could go into my favorite candle shop and – with the utmost simplicity and clarity – go about buying my candle supply.<\/p>\n
I have a “candle budget” built into my wee income. Candles are up there on the necessity list with milk and bread. Not because of “oh my God, what if there’s another blackout” – although that is part of it. I don’t feel right if I don’t have candles in the house. But also, I just love candlelight. I love scented candles. I love the look, I love the light they give, I love the atmosphere they provide … I can feel my manic blood-pressure stabilize when I’ve got candles flickering about through the apartment.<\/p>\n
I’m even into floating candles<\/i> – to put in the tub when I take a bath.<\/p>\n
This is my decadent side.<\/p>\n
I sink into the bubble bath, I’ve got floating fiery candles bobbing up and down, and I feel like an odalisque or something. I don’t have the money for many luxuries – but when I’m in that bathtub, I feel <\/i>wealthy. If you know what I mean. So I always justify stocking up on cool candles.<\/p>\n
Yankee Candle used to be my main supplier. They have a ton of great scents – and multiple sizes. You could get the big fat candles encased in glass, you could get medium-sized candles encased in glass … You could buy the candles as tea lights (very handy for parties), you could buy the small ones that you put in a small glass holder … Many options.<\/p>\n
And good simple scents.<\/p>\n
Rose Garden
\nSea Breeze
\nLavendar
\nFir
\nLilac<\/p>\n
Whatever. Simple. I have been buying Yankee Candles for a while. And I remember their simpler days.<\/p>\n
But I am here to tell you: Those days are gone. Say goodbye to Fir. Say hello to Autumn Cider With a Dash of Clove.<\/p>\n
Here is what I think:<\/p>\n
Yankee Candle has gotten too big for its britches. It is trying to be too many things to too many people. It has gotten wayyyyyyyyyy too complicated in its scents … and suddenly I am in the same situation with Yankee Candle the way I am with toothpaste. Way too many choices. Do I want baking soda with mint flavor? Do I need tartar control PLUS whitening PLUS baking soda? Or … do I just say “fuck it” and go with Bubble Gum? I don’t know what to do.<\/p>\n
I went yesterday to stock up on candles. I went to “my” shop.<\/p>\n
And … basically, cause it’s Christmas time I wanted to get some fir-scented candles. I remember buying a ton of “fir” candles last year. THAT WAS THE NAME OF THE SCENT: Fir. Simple, right?<\/p>\n
Let’s you know what you’re getting. Helps you out. Narrows it down.<\/p>\n
As I browsed through the 20,000 candles yesterday on display, I had a couple of responses:<\/p>\n
— I began to have a nervous breakdown from too many choices
\n— I started to get annoyed at the discontinuation of the simpler names of many of the scents
\n— My head started to hurt.
\n— I wanted to write a letter to Yankee Candle and scream: JUST. CALM. DOWN.<\/p>\n
They don’t have “fir” anymore.<\/p>\n
No. They have “balsam and cedar”. Fine. I bought a bunch of “balsam and cedar” – only it took me 5 minutes to even locate them, because – DUH – I had been looking under “F” for “Fir”.<\/p>\n
Some of the other scents:<\/p>\n
Autumn Lodge
\nBamboo Musk
\nChai Tea
\nWhite Zinfandel
\nWhite Opal
\nSpanish Moss
\nOrchid Rain
\nClove Bud and Citrus
\nGinger and Green Tea<\/p>\n
I don’t know. I’m a pretty down-to-earth person. I’m sure some of these are lovely scents. Truly. But when a girl is looking for FIR and instead finds a pile of SPANISH MOSS, she doesn’t know what to do about it.<\/p>\n
Like – fine, Yankee Candle. Experiment with your new scents. That’s cool. Bring out a candle combining the scents of Fresh Laundry and Cut Grass. Bring out a candle named Hot Dog Stand in Mid-July. Whatever. See how they do.<\/p>\n
But please KEEP the old favorites. The simple ones. Fir, roses, ocean, lilac … DON’T combine Lilac with Basil and discontinue plain old Lilac. Mmkay? You’re givin’ me a headache.<\/p>\n
I’m just a simple girl who likes to have floating candles in her bathtub cause it makes her feel rich and luxurious. Stop over-complicating things, Y.C., with your damn Chai Tea and Bamboo Twilight.<\/p>\n
CALM. THE HELL. DOWN, Yankee Candle.<\/p>\n
(Or – to put this all another way: “Don’t even TRY, Yankee Candle! Don’t even TRY!”)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I look back longingly on the good old days (which means about 3 or 4 years ago) when I could go into my favorite candle shop and – with the utmost simplicity and clarity – go about buying my candle … Continue reading